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scifi_rewatchIn general, I don’t think that this one went down as anyone’s favorite “Xena” episode. It must have been a feat to film, I mean the crew in the commentaries was talking about confined spaces and lack of light and everything. But the cast was filming in gross water all day and from all accounts I can find seem to have been rather miserable. There was even a bit of a snafu with the logistics, which I will get to under the cut!
In essence, this is the story about a rag tag group of misfits facing off against an environmental disaster and having to work together. I mean sort of. :P I guess I’m thinking “rag tag” because the guest stars all come at life from different, thinly defined perspectives. And “environmental disaster” only works if you ignore all of the laws of physics. :P Even I know what happened to that ship is pure science fiction. But we live in the Xenaverse here, and the most important law of the land is whatever you do, you should really listen to Xena. :P She will always be the expert on all matters of survival.
Otherwise, I suppose this episode is a little bit of a morality tale about the right ways to treat people, though in general the whole idea of prison labor wasn’t really fully explored or challenged. I think I do like that one of the villains never really got a turning point. I mean, the guy was a complete idiot, and an hour with Xena couldn’t make him see the error of his ways. But then our warrior princess had this line that reminded me, subtly, that this show is about her journey (and Gabrielle’s), not some random guy’s. All the stronger for it.
Oh, and have I mentioned that Autolycus is in this episode? :P He is. Hee.
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Xena and Gabrielle are in some port town where Gabby is getting a foreshadowing fortune told, of sorts. Shortly after, when she and the warrior princess part ways, she comes across Autolycus being led onto a mining ship as part of a chain gang! Concerned for her friend she ignores his and his captors’ warnings to leave it be, and she boards the ship to try and sort things out. She’s charged with trying to free a prisoner and the ship sets sail! Luckily, flipping in from the shore has never been a problem for Xena. :P We are given enough time to understand the general logistics of the situation—Thadeus owns the ships and he sees the prisoners as “animals,” hence justifying their slave labor in his mines. He is married to the secretly pregnant Soraya. Among the other prisoners the only two that really count are the timid Petrodes and the bully Macon. Oh, and of course Autolycus allowed himself to get captured because there are diamonds to steal in those mines. :P Everyone else, prisoners and sailors alike, gets taken out by this huge tsunami that was caused by the eruption of Mount Aetna! Xena, Gabby et al hole up below deck and when the ship flips, they get stuck in a convenient air pocket. Of course that won’t last for long, so Xena devises a plan, Gabrielle helps the wounded and Macon fights with everyone. Ultimately, a contrite Autolycus inadvertently discovers the final piece of the puzzle. Minor character arcs are resolved—Petrodes finds his courage and Thaddeus realizes the error of his ways--and everyone swims to safety.
As I said, this isn’t the most scientifically sound episode, leaving aside the usual fantastic elements like Xena’s flip onto the ship (not the first time she did that!) I’m used to Xenaverse CGI being a little iffy—I dunno, maybe that volcano cloud was accurate, but the tsunami kinda came out from nowhere. And then the flipped ship is just chilling out like a submarine! :P The movements are unnatural enough to expect someone to be steering it, hee. Also, whoosh user Braireus points out that the ship’s integrity probably wouldn’t have lasted that long under water. I’m going to go ahead and give a pass to the idea of shooting up geysers and swimming to safety, but as whoosh user Beth Gaynor noted, how could the unconscious captain partake in sucking from the wine skins for air? Alas. I think that Gabrielle’s fortune teller at the beginning of the episode might be the most factually sound part of it, hee. Finally, I thought I’d do a little research into some references. Mount Aetna is real, though it appears to be spelled as “Etna.” This puts the girls off of the coast of Sicily. Apparently, just this October, news organizations published articles warning that the sinking volcano might result in a tsunami. It does seem like there are geysers in the water there, as well as prison islands. I’m not so sure about diamond mines, but granted I’m just doing a cursory search online.
It's not necessarily clear why Autolycus has to be in the episode, either. Granted, he is a beloved recurring guest star. Lucy in particular seemed to love having Bruce Campbell around during filming, or at least it seemed that way from what she focused on in her commentaries interview. But other than giving the girls a reason to be on that ship in the first place, which they easily could have gotten from something else, Autolycus didn’t change much. Or, rather, he re-tread (no pun intended) the same ground as he often does—oscillating between his love for a challenge / treasure, and his desire to be a moral, upstanding person. It’s hard to actually imagine him as contrite about his decisions because he has way too much fun with them. :P Besides, there’s a lot of pride tied into his moniker The King of Thieves! Still, he ended this episode with an offer for honest, paid work. :0 Said offer came from Thadeus, the man who purchased this prison chain gang for free labor in his diamond mines. He justifies said behavior by calling the convicts “animals,” and otherwise seems to have a narrow and protective world view. For example, since his own mother died in childbirth he completely shut down the idea of his wife getting pregnant, though it ultimately seems like this is something that Soraya would want (and she is secretly in the family way in this episode as it is. Of course by the end of it she confesses to Thadeus and urges him to see it as a good thing.) Finally, Petrodes starts off this episode as little more than Micon’s victim. Throughout the disaster scenario of the episode, he mostly freaks out and prays to Posideon. At one point he nearly shoots Micon with a crossbow, and Xena’s counter chakram action puts the literal balance of the ship in danger! Our warrior princess is ultimately able to sit down with the guy—they share a connection of dead brothers. :/ But Petrodes is holding himself responsible because his bro drowned after the kid threw a ball into the ocean (Petrodes never learned how to swim…yet somehow made it to the shore in this ep. Anywho.) So Xena got to play therapist and tell him to stop using his brother’s death as an excuse to fear the world.
But to return to Thadeus, Soraya and the whole prison chain gang storyline, I dunno. It sort of felt like filler in the episode, an “insert minor secondary character drama here.” Though sure, Thadeus ultimately came to the most empathetic and morally just opinion about the use of slave labor in his mines. Let’s just be honest and remember that “Xena” was a contemporary show written for a contemporary audience, so the stakes were favored to be against chain gangs, no matter the real mores of Ancient Greece. The thing that really sticks out to me is Soraya’s lack of a reaction. I mean sure, she will protest her husband calling the prisoners “animals,” but she still profits off of their slave labor. I know the episode didn’t really have the time to present her as a three dimensional person, but that was still eyebrow archy. There was something rather trophy wife about Soraya (she was about half of Thadeus’s age) though I suppose there was no time for the show to delve into that ethically murky issue either. To be fair, I think they tried to paint Soraya and Thadeus’s relationship as genuinely loving. On the personal front, their big problem was that Thadeus was too stubborn and over-protective. Beth Gaynor on whoosh thought that the pregnancy subplot didn’t really serve a purpose, but I see it as a way to challenge the married couple in their personal life. Can Soraya stand up for what she truly wants? And can Thadeus realize that shutting out all risks comes with its dangers as well? I liked it, really. If only these people didn’t directly profit from slave labor, maybe they could be our relatable Xenaverse couple.
Maybe something was off with Gabrielle in this episode, too. Beth Gaynor from whoosh pointed out that she got a little pessimistic. …then again there’s nothing like being trapped under water in a ship that is slowly losing oxygen to really test one’s resolve. :P I liked her earnest take with the fortune teller, though really that served as a charming and succinct way to start and end the story. Gabs also got the chance to show off her props as a healer (and as a therapist for pregnant Soraya), which was particularly nice after Xena’s promise in the last episode to make sure her contributions were known. Not exactly a direct line, but I was thinking about that as Gabs tended to people. Xena, meanwhile, oscillated between being a Mary Sue (seriously, she knew everything that was going on in and around the ship, plus how to save her peeps) and a subtle, personal morality test. I’ve saved Macon for this section, Macon who on his own was probably a bit too obstinate and stupid in the face of danger. But I like him in relation to Xena, because it was a test of character that she didn’t just off him. :P At the end of the hour, when he walks away from the others, no lessons learned, the show really drove that point home with the warrior princess’s words. She expected nothing from this man, but from herself she expected “nothing less” than a call to conscience. Xena’s moral redemption arc continues.
And finally, some odds and ends! This episode was written by Chris Manheim who cited her inspiration as “The Poseidon Adventure,” a movie from 1972. In the February 1999 issue of Whoosh, she said that some people would be too young to remember that film. Yup. :P She also said that she thought she was doing everyone “a big favor” by writing a water episode for summer production, but it turned out to be a bit of a horror show. The “Xena” wikia includes a quote from Lucy Lawless on the filming where she called it “the most miserable, bloody experience.” Also, there were a lot of cabbages in the water (???) which Renee O’Connor was particularly averse to, so folks always nudged them her way. :P The wikia also asserts that during filming, 20,000 litres of water broke out of the tank and swept through the studio, wreaking havoc on supplies. Wikia says no cast or crew were on set that day, but whoosh counteracts with a Manheim quote that a carpenter or plumber got forcibly pushed into a bathroom. Yikes. Steering onto less dangerous waters, the wikia points to a repeat actor—Todd Ripon, aka Macon, also played Goliath in “The Giant Killer.” Cool! And finally, more out of personal interest than anything, I’m looking into the name “Soraya.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before—except that it just so happens that a “Soraya” is the protagonist of a young adult fantasy novel (“Dagger and Coin” by Kathy MacMillan) that I am reading right now! According to real Wikipedia, “Soraya” comes from Aramaic, and is an Arabic or Farsi girl’s name meaning “princess.” Not quite sure how it applies to the “Xena” character, who is played by white New Zealand actress Angela Dotchin. (She co-starred with Bruce Campbell on “Jack of all Trades” and also played parts in “Hercules” and “Young Hercules”!) But the word also means “gem,” so I suppose that maps to the diamond mines. :P
Disclaimer No Cast or Crew were singing "Tanks For The Memories" during the production of this motion picture. However, the phrase "Strike the Set" was given new meaning.
Favorite Quotes:
*the fortune teller channels Professor Trelawney :P*
Gabrielle: Have another look. What? What is it?
Xena: All right, Gabrielle, that’s enough. Come on, please.
Palm reader: No! There’s danger-- great danger-- and death.
Gabrielle: Did you hear that? She just described every day of our lives.
Xena: Hmm.
*an attempt at a moral question about chain gangs*
Man: I mean, I know they done wrong, and-- and they oughtta be punished, but-- sellin’ them to work in the mines?
Gabrielle: Must be a hard life.
Man: Hard? It’s no life at all. I’m tellin’ you, Miss-- you’re lookin’ at dead men.
Gabrielle: Autolycus. Autolycus.
Autolycus: Gabrielle, you shouldn’t be here.
Gabrielle: Me? You’re in a chain gang. What happened?
Autolycus: A small miscalculation-- now, get outta here, will ya? Before you make things worse.
*Gabrielle gets herself into trouble!*
Gabrielle: Wait! I, I just wanna talk to my friend.
Captain: You still here?!
Autolycus: Gabrielle, get outta here!
Captain: Take him below, and cast her ashore!
Autolycus: Hey! There’s no need to get rough!
Sailor: You heard the captain! Stow it!
Gabrielle: Why don’t-- you pick on someone who can fight back?!
Man’s Voice: You’re pathetic!
Captain: Go on! After her!
*introduction to Thaddeus and Soraya*
Thaddeus: What in Hades’ name is going-- ?!
Xena: I’d like to know the answer to that, myself.
Thaddeus: Who are these women?! What are they doing on board?! I didn’t hire you as a passenger ship!
Captain: She tried to free one of your prisoners. Law says, we gotta arrest her.
Xena: You did _what_?
Gabrielle: There’s been a mistake.
Thaddeus: Yes-- and you made it. Aiding a convict’s a serious crime.
Soraya: But Thaddeus, maybe she can explain.
Thaddeus: Soraya, you’ve no idea what these cons are like. Believe me, it’s not just because they’re cheap labor. I’m doing the state a favor, taking these _animals_ to do something useful!
*introduction to Petrodes and Macon*
Macon: I got somethin’ you can look at. Betcha’d like it, too. Don’t you think so, Petrodes? Or is that ‘Petrified’?
Petrodes: Real funny, Macon.
Macon: Then, why ain’tcha laughin’?
Xena: Back off!
*Autolycus’s cover is blown*
Autolycus: Xena-- if you think I would go to all the trouble, of having myself caught and chained up-- j--
Xena: -- for the chance to bag some diamonds? Yeah-- call me crazy. Hm-mm-mm.
*foreshadowing the end of this marriage story arc… :P*
Gabrielle: You’re pregnant? Is that it? Congratulations!
Soraya: Shh, please! Not so loud.
Gabrielle: Why? Aren’t you excited?
Soraya: Yes, of course. It’s just, um-- Thaddeus doesn’t know yet.
Gabrielle: You know, you can only keep it a secret from him for so long.
Soraya: I know. The trouble is, his mother _died_ in childbirth. So Thaddeus, he told me, when we married—no children. He’s too scared to ever want me pregnant. I’m too scared to tell him I am.
*everyone should just Listen to Xena!*
Xena: Listen, this is _not_ about Autolycus! Didn’t you feel it? Can’t you smell it? It-- look. Mt. Aetna’s just past the horizon. She’s active. You see that cloud?
Thaddeus: So, there’s a cloud. So what? A little rain never hurt anyone.
Xena: That’s no rain cloud.
Captain: She’s right. It’s ash.
Xena: The air is full of it.
*guess they’d rather the CGI do the talking! :P*
Captain: Mt. Aetna’s erupted!
Thaddeus: So? Why are we running from a volcano?!
Xena: We’re not. We’re running from worse.
*once again, Listen to Xena! Also, Autolycus can explain away any logic errors :P*
Macon: Aww. What in Tartarus happened?
Xena: The tidal wave hit us-- turned us over completely.
Macon: No kiddin’? How’d we right ourselves?
Xena: We didn’t. Look around you. That bolted door leads to the cabin, and the other to the forward compartment. Must be the air that’s trapped in one of the cabins that’s keeping us buoyant, but it won’t last forever. Gabrielle!
Macon: But, but this is crazy! Gee-- it’s impossible!
Autolycus: Improbable, maybe. Impossible? Clearly not.
*Thaddeus needs a wake up call*
Thaddeus: Ahh! My leg! Something’s wrong!
Xena: We’ll need some help. Let’s unchain Macon. Here-- give us his key.
Thaddeus: No, no, no, no, wait! You can’t! You can’t let those scumbags loose!
Autolycus: Sure, we can. We don’t need your key to do it.
Thaddeus: He’s free, but-- how?!
Xena: Just be glad that he is. We need to get you out of here before this _whole_ place floods.
*Macon makes an ultimatum but really he should just Listen to Xena*
Macon: The water’s rising too fast!
Gabrielle: Xena knows what she’s doing!
Macon: *takes Gab hostage* All right! Enough doctorin’ the dyin’! I’m gettin’ outta here! So back off, or she buys it, right now!
Xena: You gotta help us move him.
Macon: I ain’t gotta do nothin’!
Xena: All right-- so you get out there. What then?
Macon: I go up-- through the hull-- straight to the surface.
Xena: It’s too late. We’re down too deep. You’d never never make it.
Macon: “You’re wrong!”
Xena: Just look at the leaks, if you don’t believe me. They’re from nails that have been forced out by the pressure. That wave hit us hard. We’re too far under.
*the guest stars—except Soraya—are all annoying in their own ways :P*
Gabrielle: “OK, Petrodes-- now, can you just hold his head up a little
bit higher? Keep this-- bandage around his wound.”
Petrodes: What does it matter? We’re all gonna die, anyway.
Macon: That’s the spirit, Petrified. You may as well hang a sign around your neck, saying, ‘Fish food-- come and get me.’
Soraya: Please? Can’t you see he’s scared?!
Thaddeus: Don’t waste your breath, Soraya.
Macon: Oh, that’s rich! Coming from someone who’s wasting the air _we_ could be breathing! Yeah, that’s just perfect!
Xena: Shut up, Macon!
*what happens when you don’t Listen to Xena*
Soraya: So, what’re we gonna do?!
Xena: I don’t know. We’re moving with the current. If we can turn the rudder, so that we’re moving _against_ it-- maybe we can get onto one of those reefs that the captain talked about. It’ll buy us time to think.
Autolycus: Well, I’ve heard worse plans-- not many-- but I’m game.
Gabrielle: Me, too.
Soraya: I’ll help.
Macon: Are you all crazy?! We’re trapped inside a sinking ship, and you’re makin’ like the Argonauts! Well, I’m not riding this bucket to my grave! I’ll take my chances in the sea! *opens door, bad stuff happens*
Xena: Macon, no! Hold on! We’re going down!
*Xena is too “hands on” for prayer*
Xena: Petrodes-- take this lever and get to work.
Petrodes: Spare me, almighty Poseidon! That I may praise your name forever!
Xena: *hits him* Petrodes, you take this lever-- and you get to work.
*reaching—or not reaching—the moral high ground*
Macon: Out of the way! He’s a goner! No point in lettin’ him use up our air! I say we put him out of his misery!
Soraya: No! He’s hurt! He’s not dead! You can’t just kill him like he was some sort of animal!
Macon: Why not?! That’s how he treats us-- like animals!
Autolycus: You’re right-- but killing him makes it true.
Macon: Who’s gonna stop me? You?
Xena: And me.
Gabrielle: Yeah.
Macon: Bunch a’ losers!
*Autolocys’s unusual self-deprecation and callbacks to earlier episodes leads to the way to get out of this mess*
Autolycus: Spare me, Xena. We both know what I am.
Gabrielle: What’s that?
Autolycus: Someone who can let a friend walk straight into trouble-- all for the-- chance to steal a-- few lousy stones.
Xena: Well, excuse me, I must’ve mistaken you for a man who once risked his life to save mine.
Gabrielle: There is quite a resemblance.
Autolycus: Look, you don’t get it. Even then-- it wasn’t my idea. Xena, come on, you were here inside me. You know the truth. I’m an opportunist, plain and simple.
Gabrielle: You didn’t ask me for help. I jumped in with both feet.
Autolycus: But if you didn’t think I was in trouble, you wouldn’t be here, and neither would you. How do you think that makes me feel?!
Xena: Guilty.
Autolycus: I’ll drink to that. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. It’s empty. Nothin’ but hot air. How perfect is that?
Xena: Autolycus, you’re a genius. All right, everyone—listen up. I’ve got a plan, but it’s risky.
Thaddeus: Whatever it is-- it’s gotta be better than staying here, waiting to die.
Xena: Not by much, but it’s a shot. The reefs around here are full of volcanic geysers.
Soraya: Geysers?
Gabrielle: It’s like an underwater spring. It shoots jets of water up to the surface.
Xena: What I’m proposing, is that we fill up some of these wineskins with air, and then we-- we knock a hole in the side of the ship, and when the water level’s up-- we swim for a geyser, sucking air out of the skins, until we reach the surface.
*this time Macon’s bad decision led to a good outcome when rock breaks through the bottom of the ship*
Autolycus: Oh, I’ve seen more leaks in a sieve.
Gabrielle: We can’t fix these.
Xena: Maybe we don’t have to. Feel the water here.
Gabrielle: It’s warm.
Xena: The geyser’s on this side of the ship.
Autolycus: Well, it’ll save us time and air.
*Xena gets to play therapist to Petrodes*
Petrodes: I can’t swim!
Xena: What?
Petrodes: I never learned. When I was little-- my brother and me were playing ball on the beach. I was real hot-- and I wanted to quit-- so I threw the ball-- you know? Just so’s he’d have to go and run for it. But it went in the sea-- and Damon-- he ran after it. All’s I remember is the wave hitting him. And then he was gone. And now he’s coming back-- for me.
Xena: Petrodes, the dead can hear our thoughts. That means that, Damon knows it was an accident-- and he knows how much you loved him. And most of all, he knows that you would never dishonor his memory by blaming him for your own fear.
*Thaddeus and Soraya come to a resolution*
Thaddeus: Gabrielle-- there isn’t much time-- so listen. Whatever happens-- I want you to make sure that Soraya gets through this-- all right?
Gabrielle: We’re all gonna make it.
Thaddeus: Oh, I’m not a fool. With this leg-- I’d be lucky to make it to the geyser, let alone the surface. So, take my wineskin, for extra air. And take this. It’s priceless. And it’s yours if you save her.
Gabrielle: I don’t want it.
Thaddeus: What, you want more? I’ve got more, believe me, I-- just swear you’ll--
Soraya: What are you doing?
Thaddeus: I-- I was just--
Soraya: -- buying people again! Thinking everyone’s for sale if you’ve got the right coin! Pushing me off for the price of that pendant!
Thaddeus: No, I just wanted you safe. You can’t stay with me. I’d hold you back. You’d never make it. Tell her!
Gabrielle: She’s on a roll.
Soraya: I can’t live like this, Thaddeus-- not anymore. You’ve got to stop trying to _shield_ me from things-- and learn to trust that I won’t break-- or melt-- or die! At least, not yet. I’m your wife. You’re my husband. And soon, we’re gonna be a family.
Thaddeus: What? But Soraya, you--
Soraya: No buts! We’re having a baby, and that’s that. So, please don’t tell me to leave you behind. A child needs both its parents-- right?
Thaddeus: “Oh! I guess I’m gonna need that wineskin after all.
*Autolycus gives Thaddeus his necklace and Thaddeus offers Autolycus a job*
Autolycus: I believe this is yours.
Thaddeus: Thanks. Truth is-- I’m gonna sell it. After all that’s happened, I’m gonna need new workers for the mine. Hired workers-- who choose to be there, because the wage is fair—and so is the way they’re treated.
*Xena reasserts her redemption arc by saving Macon and we end on a normal, cutesy note*
Xena: I had to go back for something.
Macon: Why? I’m a killer. Why’d you come back? What’d you expect?
Xena: From you-- nothin’. From me, nothin’ less.
Gabrielle: He doesn’t get it, does he?
Xena: Not a clue.
Gabrielle: So-- what do you think of that palm reader, now?
Xena: Well, like you said, just another average day.
In essence, this is the story about a rag tag group of misfits facing off against an environmental disaster and having to work together. I mean sort of. :P I guess I’m thinking “rag tag” because the guest stars all come at life from different, thinly defined perspectives. And “environmental disaster” only works if you ignore all of the laws of physics. :P Even I know what happened to that ship is pure science fiction. But we live in the Xenaverse here, and the most important law of the land is whatever you do, you should really listen to Xena. :P She will always be the expert on all matters of survival.
Otherwise, I suppose this episode is a little bit of a morality tale about the right ways to treat people, though in general the whole idea of prison labor wasn’t really fully explored or challenged. I think I do like that one of the villains never really got a turning point. I mean, the guy was a complete idiot, and an hour with Xena couldn’t make him see the error of his ways. But then our warrior princess had this line that reminded me, subtly, that this show is about her journey (and Gabrielle’s), not some random guy’s. All the stronger for it.
Oh, and have I mentioned that Autolycus is in this episode? :P He is. Hee.
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Xena and Gabrielle are in some port town where Gabby is getting a foreshadowing fortune told, of sorts. Shortly after, when she and the warrior princess part ways, she comes across Autolycus being led onto a mining ship as part of a chain gang! Concerned for her friend she ignores his and his captors’ warnings to leave it be, and she boards the ship to try and sort things out. She’s charged with trying to free a prisoner and the ship sets sail! Luckily, flipping in from the shore has never been a problem for Xena. :P We are given enough time to understand the general logistics of the situation—Thadeus owns the ships and he sees the prisoners as “animals,” hence justifying their slave labor in his mines. He is married to the secretly pregnant Soraya. Among the other prisoners the only two that really count are the timid Petrodes and the bully Macon. Oh, and of course Autolycus allowed himself to get captured because there are diamonds to steal in those mines. :P Everyone else, prisoners and sailors alike, gets taken out by this huge tsunami that was caused by the eruption of Mount Aetna! Xena, Gabby et al hole up below deck and when the ship flips, they get stuck in a convenient air pocket. Of course that won’t last for long, so Xena devises a plan, Gabrielle helps the wounded and Macon fights with everyone. Ultimately, a contrite Autolycus inadvertently discovers the final piece of the puzzle. Minor character arcs are resolved—Petrodes finds his courage and Thaddeus realizes the error of his ways--and everyone swims to safety.
As I said, this isn’t the most scientifically sound episode, leaving aside the usual fantastic elements like Xena’s flip onto the ship (not the first time she did that!) I’m used to Xenaverse CGI being a little iffy—I dunno, maybe that volcano cloud was accurate, but the tsunami kinda came out from nowhere. And then the flipped ship is just chilling out like a submarine! :P The movements are unnatural enough to expect someone to be steering it, hee. Also, whoosh user Braireus points out that the ship’s integrity probably wouldn’t have lasted that long under water. I’m going to go ahead and give a pass to the idea of shooting up geysers and swimming to safety, but as whoosh user Beth Gaynor noted, how could the unconscious captain partake in sucking from the wine skins for air? Alas. I think that Gabrielle’s fortune teller at the beginning of the episode might be the most factually sound part of it, hee. Finally, I thought I’d do a little research into some references. Mount Aetna is real, though it appears to be spelled as “Etna.” This puts the girls off of the coast of Sicily. Apparently, just this October, news organizations published articles warning that the sinking volcano might result in a tsunami. It does seem like there are geysers in the water there, as well as prison islands. I’m not so sure about diamond mines, but granted I’m just doing a cursory search online.
It's not necessarily clear why Autolycus has to be in the episode, either. Granted, he is a beloved recurring guest star. Lucy in particular seemed to love having Bruce Campbell around during filming, or at least it seemed that way from what she focused on in her commentaries interview. But other than giving the girls a reason to be on that ship in the first place, which they easily could have gotten from something else, Autolycus didn’t change much. Or, rather, he re-tread (no pun intended) the same ground as he often does—oscillating between his love for a challenge / treasure, and his desire to be a moral, upstanding person. It’s hard to actually imagine him as contrite about his decisions because he has way too much fun with them. :P Besides, there’s a lot of pride tied into his moniker The King of Thieves! Still, he ended this episode with an offer for honest, paid work. :0 Said offer came from Thadeus, the man who purchased this prison chain gang for free labor in his diamond mines. He justifies said behavior by calling the convicts “animals,” and otherwise seems to have a narrow and protective world view. For example, since his own mother died in childbirth he completely shut down the idea of his wife getting pregnant, though it ultimately seems like this is something that Soraya would want (and she is secretly in the family way in this episode as it is. Of course by the end of it she confesses to Thadeus and urges him to see it as a good thing.) Finally, Petrodes starts off this episode as little more than Micon’s victim. Throughout the disaster scenario of the episode, he mostly freaks out and prays to Posideon. At one point he nearly shoots Micon with a crossbow, and Xena’s counter chakram action puts the literal balance of the ship in danger! Our warrior princess is ultimately able to sit down with the guy—they share a connection of dead brothers. :/ But Petrodes is holding himself responsible because his bro drowned after the kid threw a ball into the ocean (Petrodes never learned how to swim…yet somehow made it to the shore in this ep. Anywho.) So Xena got to play therapist and tell him to stop using his brother’s death as an excuse to fear the world.
But to return to Thadeus, Soraya and the whole prison chain gang storyline, I dunno. It sort of felt like filler in the episode, an “insert minor secondary character drama here.” Though sure, Thadeus ultimately came to the most empathetic and morally just opinion about the use of slave labor in his mines. Let’s just be honest and remember that “Xena” was a contemporary show written for a contemporary audience, so the stakes were favored to be against chain gangs, no matter the real mores of Ancient Greece. The thing that really sticks out to me is Soraya’s lack of a reaction. I mean sure, she will protest her husband calling the prisoners “animals,” but she still profits off of their slave labor. I know the episode didn’t really have the time to present her as a three dimensional person, but that was still eyebrow archy. There was something rather trophy wife about Soraya (she was about half of Thadeus’s age) though I suppose there was no time for the show to delve into that ethically murky issue either. To be fair, I think they tried to paint Soraya and Thadeus’s relationship as genuinely loving. On the personal front, their big problem was that Thadeus was too stubborn and over-protective. Beth Gaynor on whoosh thought that the pregnancy subplot didn’t really serve a purpose, but I see it as a way to challenge the married couple in their personal life. Can Soraya stand up for what she truly wants? And can Thadeus realize that shutting out all risks comes with its dangers as well? I liked it, really. If only these people didn’t directly profit from slave labor, maybe they could be our relatable Xenaverse couple.
Maybe something was off with Gabrielle in this episode, too. Beth Gaynor from whoosh pointed out that she got a little pessimistic. …then again there’s nothing like being trapped under water in a ship that is slowly losing oxygen to really test one’s resolve. :P I liked her earnest take with the fortune teller, though really that served as a charming and succinct way to start and end the story. Gabs also got the chance to show off her props as a healer (and as a therapist for pregnant Soraya), which was particularly nice after Xena’s promise in the last episode to make sure her contributions were known. Not exactly a direct line, but I was thinking about that as Gabs tended to people. Xena, meanwhile, oscillated between being a Mary Sue (seriously, she knew everything that was going on in and around the ship, plus how to save her peeps) and a subtle, personal morality test. I’ve saved Macon for this section, Macon who on his own was probably a bit too obstinate and stupid in the face of danger. But I like him in relation to Xena, because it was a test of character that she didn’t just off him. :P At the end of the hour, when he walks away from the others, no lessons learned, the show really drove that point home with the warrior princess’s words. She expected nothing from this man, but from herself she expected “nothing less” than a call to conscience. Xena’s moral redemption arc continues.
And finally, some odds and ends! This episode was written by Chris Manheim who cited her inspiration as “The Poseidon Adventure,” a movie from 1972. In the February 1999 issue of Whoosh, she said that some people would be too young to remember that film. Yup. :P She also said that she thought she was doing everyone “a big favor” by writing a water episode for summer production, but it turned out to be a bit of a horror show. The “Xena” wikia includes a quote from Lucy Lawless on the filming where she called it “the most miserable, bloody experience.” Also, there were a lot of cabbages in the water (???) which Renee O’Connor was particularly averse to, so folks always nudged them her way. :P The wikia also asserts that during filming, 20,000 litres of water broke out of the tank and swept through the studio, wreaking havoc on supplies. Wikia says no cast or crew were on set that day, but whoosh counteracts with a Manheim quote that a carpenter or plumber got forcibly pushed into a bathroom. Yikes. Steering onto less dangerous waters, the wikia points to a repeat actor—Todd Ripon, aka Macon, also played Goliath in “The Giant Killer.” Cool! And finally, more out of personal interest than anything, I’m looking into the name “Soraya.” I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before—except that it just so happens that a “Soraya” is the protagonist of a young adult fantasy novel (“Dagger and Coin” by Kathy MacMillan) that I am reading right now! According to real Wikipedia, “Soraya” comes from Aramaic, and is an Arabic or Farsi girl’s name meaning “princess.” Not quite sure how it applies to the “Xena” character, who is played by white New Zealand actress Angela Dotchin. (She co-starred with Bruce Campbell on “Jack of all Trades” and also played parts in “Hercules” and “Young Hercules”!) But the word also means “gem,” so I suppose that maps to the diamond mines. :P
Disclaimer No Cast or Crew were singing "Tanks For The Memories" during the production of this motion picture. However, the phrase "Strike the Set" was given new meaning.
Favorite Quotes:
*the fortune teller channels Professor Trelawney :P*
Gabrielle: Have another look. What? What is it?
Xena: All right, Gabrielle, that’s enough. Come on, please.
Palm reader: No! There’s danger-- great danger-- and death.
Gabrielle: Did you hear that? She just described every day of our lives.
Xena: Hmm.
*an attempt at a moral question about chain gangs*
Man: I mean, I know they done wrong, and-- and they oughtta be punished, but-- sellin’ them to work in the mines?
Gabrielle: Must be a hard life.
Man: Hard? It’s no life at all. I’m tellin’ you, Miss-- you’re lookin’ at dead men.
Gabrielle: Autolycus. Autolycus.
Autolycus: Gabrielle, you shouldn’t be here.
Gabrielle: Me? You’re in a chain gang. What happened?
Autolycus: A small miscalculation-- now, get outta here, will ya? Before you make things worse.
*Gabrielle gets herself into trouble!*
Gabrielle: Wait! I, I just wanna talk to my friend.
Captain: You still here?!
Autolycus: Gabrielle, get outta here!
Captain: Take him below, and cast her ashore!
Autolycus: Hey! There’s no need to get rough!
Sailor: You heard the captain! Stow it!
Gabrielle: Why don’t-- you pick on someone who can fight back?!
Man’s Voice: You’re pathetic!
Captain: Go on! After her!
*introduction to Thaddeus and Soraya*
Thaddeus: What in Hades’ name is going-- ?!
Xena: I’d like to know the answer to that, myself.
Thaddeus: Who are these women?! What are they doing on board?! I didn’t hire you as a passenger ship!
Captain: She tried to free one of your prisoners. Law says, we gotta arrest her.
Xena: You did _what_?
Gabrielle: There’s been a mistake.
Thaddeus: Yes-- and you made it. Aiding a convict’s a serious crime.
Soraya: But Thaddeus, maybe she can explain.
Thaddeus: Soraya, you’ve no idea what these cons are like. Believe me, it’s not just because they’re cheap labor. I’m doing the state a favor, taking these _animals_ to do something useful!
*introduction to Petrodes and Macon*
Macon: I got somethin’ you can look at. Betcha’d like it, too. Don’t you think so, Petrodes? Or is that ‘Petrified’?
Petrodes: Real funny, Macon.
Macon: Then, why ain’tcha laughin’?
Xena: Back off!
*Autolycus’s cover is blown*
Autolycus: Xena-- if you think I would go to all the trouble, of having myself caught and chained up-- j--
Xena: -- for the chance to bag some diamonds? Yeah-- call me crazy. Hm-mm-mm.
*foreshadowing the end of this marriage story arc… :P*
Gabrielle: You’re pregnant? Is that it? Congratulations!
Soraya: Shh, please! Not so loud.
Gabrielle: Why? Aren’t you excited?
Soraya: Yes, of course. It’s just, um-- Thaddeus doesn’t know yet.
Gabrielle: You know, you can only keep it a secret from him for so long.
Soraya: I know. The trouble is, his mother _died_ in childbirth. So Thaddeus, he told me, when we married—no children. He’s too scared to ever want me pregnant. I’m too scared to tell him I am.
*everyone should just Listen to Xena!*
Xena: Listen, this is _not_ about Autolycus! Didn’t you feel it? Can’t you smell it? It-- look. Mt. Aetna’s just past the horizon. She’s active. You see that cloud?
Thaddeus: So, there’s a cloud. So what? A little rain never hurt anyone.
Xena: That’s no rain cloud.
Captain: She’s right. It’s ash.
Xena: The air is full of it.
*guess they’d rather the CGI do the talking! :P*
Captain: Mt. Aetna’s erupted!
Thaddeus: So? Why are we running from a volcano?!
Xena: We’re not. We’re running from worse.
*once again, Listen to Xena! Also, Autolycus can explain away any logic errors :P*
Macon: Aww. What in Tartarus happened?
Xena: The tidal wave hit us-- turned us over completely.
Macon: No kiddin’? How’d we right ourselves?
Xena: We didn’t. Look around you. That bolted door leads to the cabin, and the other to the forward compartment. Must be the air that’s trapped in one of the cabins that’s keeping us buoyant, but it won’t last forever. Gabrielle!
Macon: But, but this is crazy! Gee-- it’s impossible!
Autolycus: Improbable, maybe. Impossible? Clearly not.
*Thaddeus needs a wake up call*
Thaddeus: Ahh! My leg! Something’s wrong!
Xena: We’ll need some help. Let’s unchain Macon. Here-- give us his key.
Thaddeus: No, no, no, no, wait! You can’t! You can’t let those scumbags loose!
Autolycus: Sure, we can. We don’t need your key to do it.
Thaddeus: He’s free, but-- how?!
Xena: Just be glad that he is. We need to get you out of here before this _whole_ place floods.
*Macon makes an ultimatum but really he should just Listen to Xena*
Macon: The water’s rising too fast!
Gabrielle: Xena knows what she’s doing!
Macon: *takes Gab hostage* All right! Enough doctorin’ the dyin’! I’m gettin’ outta here! So back off, or she buys it, right now!
Xena: You gotta help us move him.
Macon: I ain’t gotta do nothin’!
Xena: All right-- so you get out there. What then?
Macon: I go up-- through the hull-- straight to the surface.
Xena: It’s too late. We’re down too deep. You’d never never make it.
Macon: “You’re wrong!”
Xena: Just look at the leaks, if you don’t believe me. They’re from nails that have been forced out by the pressure. That wave hit us hard. We’re too far under.
*the guest stars—except Soraya—are all annoying in their own ways :P*
Gabrielle: “OK, Petrodes-- now, can you just hold his head up a little
bit higher? Keep this-- bandage around his wound.”
Petrodes: What does it matter? We’re all gonna die, anyway.
Macon: That’s the spirit, Petrified. You may as well hang a sign around your neck, saying, ‘Fish food-- come and get me.’
Soraya: Please? Can’t you see he’s scared?!
Thaddeus: Don’t waste your breath, Soraya.
Macon: Oh, that’s rich! Coming from someone who’s wasting the air _we_ could be breathing! Yeah, that’s just perfect!
Xena: Shut up, Macon!
*what happens when you don’t Listen to Xena*
Soraya: So, what’re we gonna do?!
Xena: I don’t know. We’re moving with the current. If we can turn the rudder, so that we’re moving _against_ it-- maybe we can get onto one of those reefs that the captain talked about. It’ll buy us time to think.
Autolycus: Well, I’ve heard worse plans-- not many-- but I’m game.
Gabrielle: Me, too.
Soraya: I’ll help.
Macon: Are you all crazy?! We’re trapped inside a sinking ship, and you’re makin’ like the Argonauts! Well, I’m not riding this bucket to my grave! I’ll take my chances in the sea! *opens door, bad stuff happens*
Xena: Macon, no! Hold on! We’re going down!
*Xena is too “hands on” for prayer*
Xena: Petrodes-- take this lever and get to work.
Petrodes: Spare me, almighty Poseidon! That I may praise your name forever!
Xena: *hits him* Petrodes, you take this lever-- and you get to work.
*reaching—or not reaching—the moral high ground*
Macon: Out of the way! He’s a goner! No point in lettin’ him use up our air! I say we put him out of his misery!
Soraya: No! He’s hurt! He’s not dead! You can’t just kill him like he was some sort of animal!
Macon: Why not?! That’s how he treats us-- like animals!
Autolycus: You’re right-- but killing him makes it true.
Macon: Who’s gonna stop me? You?
Xena: And me.
Gabrielle: Yeah.
Macon: Bunch a’ losers!
*Autolocys’s unusual self-deprecation and callbacks to earlier episodes leads to the way to get out of this mess*
Autolycus: Spare me, Xena. We both know what I am.
Gabrielle: What’s that?
Autolycus: Someone who can let a friend walk straight into trouble-- all for the-- chance to steal a-- few lousy stones.
Xena: Well, excuse me, I must’ve mistaken you for a man who once risked his life to save mine.
Gabrielle: There is quite a resemblance.
Autolycus: Look, you don’t get it. Even then-- it wasn’t my idea. Xena, come on, you were here inside me. You know the truth. I’m an opportunist, plain and simple.
Gabrielle: You didn’t ask me for help. I jumped in with both feet.
Autolycus: But if you didn’t think I was in trouble, you wouldn’t be here, and neither would you. How do you think that makes me feel?!
Xena: Guilty.
Autolycus: I’ll drink to that. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. It’s empty. Nothin’ but hot air. How perfect is that?
Xena: Autolycus, you’re a genius. All right, everyone—listen up. I’ve got a plan, but it’s risky.
Thaddeus: Whatever it is-- it’s gotta be better than staying here, waiting to die.
Xena: Not by much, but it’s a shot. The reefs around here are full of volcanic geysers.
Soraya: Geysers?
Gabrielle: It’s like an underwater spring. It shoots jets of water up to the surface.
Xena: What I’m proposing, is that we fill up some of these wineskins with air, and then we-- we knock a hole in the side of the ship, and when the water level’s up-- we swim for a geyser, sucking air out of the skins, until we reach the surface.
*this time Macon’s bad decision led to a good outcome when rock breaks through the bottom of the ship*
Autolycus: Oh, I’ve seen more leaks in a sieve.
Gabrielle: We can’t fix these.
Xena: Maybe we don’t have to. Feel the water here.
Gabrielle: It’s warm.
Xena: The geyser’s on this side of the ship.
Autolycus: Well, it’ll save us time and air.
*Xena gets to play therapist to Petrodes*
Petrodes: I can’t swim!
Xena: What?
Petrodes: I never learned. When I was little-- my brother and me were playing ball on the beach. I was real hot-- and I wanted to quit-- so I threw the ball-- you know? Just so’s he’d have to go and run for it. But it went in the sea-- and Damon-- he ran after it. All’s I remember is the wave hitting him. And then he was gone. And now he’s coming back-- for me.
Xena: Petrodes, the dead can hear our thoughts. That means that, Damon knows it was an accident-- and he knows how much you loved him. And most of all, he knows that you would never dishonor his memory by blaming him for your own fear.
*Thaddeus and Soraya come to a resolution*
Thaddeus: Gabrielle-- there isn’t much time-- so listen. Whatever happens-- I want you to make sure that Soraya gets through this-- all right?
Gabrielle: We’re all gonna make it.
Thaddeus: Oh, I’m not a fool. With this leg-- I’d be lucky to make it to the geyser, let alone the surface. So, take my wineskin, for extra air. And take this. It’s priceless. And it’s yours if you save her.
Gabrielle: I don’t want it.
Thaddeus: What, you want more? I’ve got more, believe me, I-- just swear you’ll--
Soraya: What are you doing?
Thaddeus: I-- I was just--
Soraya: -- buying people again! Thinking everyone’s for sale if you’ve got the right coin! Pushing me off for the price of that pendant!
Thaddeus: No, I just wanted you safe. You can’t stay with me. I’d hold you back. You’d never make it. Tell her!
Gabrielle: She’s on a roll.
Soraya: I can’t live like this, Thaddeus-- not anymore. You’ve got to stop trying to _shield_ me from things-- and learn to trust that I won’t break-- or melt-- or die! At least, not yet. I’m your wife. You’re my husband. And soon, we’re gonna be a family.
Thaddeus: What? But Soraya, you--
Soraya: No buts! We’re having a baby, and that’s that. So, please don’t tell me to leave you behind. A child needs both its parents-- right?
Thaddeus: “Oh! I guess I’m gonna need that wineskin after all.
*Autolycus gives Thaddeus his necklace and Thaddeus offers Autolycus a job*
Autolycus: I believe this is yours.
Thaddeus: Thanks. Truth is-- I’m gonna sell it. After all that’s happened, I’m gonna need new workers for the mine. Hired workers-- who choose to be there, because the wage is fair—and so is the way they’re treated.
*Xena reasserts her redemption arc by saving Macon and we end on a normal, cutesy note*
Xena: I had to go back for something.
Macon: Why? I’m a killer. Why’d you come back? What’d you expect?
Xena: From you-- nothin’. From me, nothin’ less.
Gabrielle: He doesn’t get it, does he?
Xena: Not a clue.
Gabrielle: So-- what do you think of that palm reader, now?
Xena: Well, like you said, just another average day.
