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scifi_rewatchMuch like this clip episode leaves a disjointed feeling to the hour, I have some disjointed feelings about the episode. :P Mostly good…I think. I do like that the show is returning to Gabrielle’s feelings. The execution may be clunky but the reminder that she is a character with an actual arc this season is most welcome.
That being said…I’m not sure how I feel about her motivations concerning certain spoilery things. :P According to whoosh.org even Renee O’Connor had issues with this development, and she ultimately chalked it up to Gabrielle being human and flawed. And I can always get behind human and flawed characters! Maybe it’s the intensity of her emotions that gives me pause. Apparently they run deep enough to give Gabby some post traumatic stress and provide the impetus for this episode.
We also get some answers, that certainly at least a few fans wanted, about Gabrielle’s quick travel time to Chin. Yay for tying up loose ends! Though boo for some really bad acting by the newbie guest stars. I guess after an episode like the last one, with such great acting across the board, I should just count my blessings. And here we do get the return of two notable guest stars—Ted Raimi as Joxer, and—I’ll leave the other one as a surprise for under the cut! :P
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Gabrielle and Joxer are supposed to wait for Xena by the temple of Mnemosyne but Gabs is too haunted by memories of Hope to sit still. This goes deeper than a passing thing. She’s stopped eating and sleeping, and feels like she must atone for something that she can’t put her finger on. Despite Joxer’s attempts to help she decides to see the priestess, Mnemosyne at the temple. Mnemosyne immediately downloads her memories and sets Gabs down a spiritual path, with the caveat that at the end she can choose whether or not to retain her memories. Joxer, meanwhile, after some comedic scuffles, is able to break into the temple and take Gabby, who is conscious but now an empty shell, back out of there. The spiritual Gabby has come across the River of Wailing and lo and behold, Ares is there! He warns her not to take the trip, and indeed when she wades into the river she sees two people whom she’s killed—Meridian and Crassus. She emerges, covered in blood! Later, she comes to the River of Woe, which Ares poeticizes is about the thin layer of control (an ice bridge) that humans have over the churning mass of guilt. Gabby starts to probe her remembrances of betraying Xena, but she doesn’t get into the why until the third, fiery river. (In the second one, she has to save herself from an icy grave of suffocation.) She was as jealous of Xena’s relationship to Lao Ma as she was determined to save her friend from murdering Ming Tien. This fake Ares is the manifestation of her guilt, because indeed Gabrielle got to Chin ahead of Xena by asking for help from the God of War. This phantom Ares has been imploring Gabby to give up, even though the girl does expound on some happier memories. Once she centers in on that guilty feeling that she’s trying to atone for, her bowl from the temple reappears, with the choice of drinking it and forgetting all. But Gabby decides to live with her mistakes and she comes back to herself, just as Joxer is trying to convince her shell that she had once danced naked in front of him. :P Not so great to trick a handicapped girl, Jox, but actually he’d already gone through his entire subplot of tricking her into thinking she was in love with him and then coming forth with the truth. Now, at the end of the episode, Xena returns with the reveal that she stayed away purposefully so that Gabs could go to the temple and get her affairs in order. “The rift” doesn’t reopen for them, despite the reveal about Gabby’s jealousy; after her apology Xena is just glad that she’s retained her memories.
Here is the list of the previous clips used and what they mean. From “Maternal Instincts,” Xena’s anger when she finds out that Hope still lives, and then Gabby poisoning her daughter (and nearly herself.) Gabrielle being duped into killing Meridian in “The Deliverer.” Then, from the last episode, “When in Rome,” her promise to Crassus to return his ring and her ultimate decision to hold on to it, leading to his death. Xena affirming that her love for Lao Ma and her need to kill Ming Tien, and how these outweigh the past few years with Gabs. Gabs then shocking Xena in Ming Tien’s bed, being present at her “trial” and tearfully apologizing for her mistake, all from “The Debt” parts 1 and 2. A musical reprieve! :D In the form of “Hate is the Star/Hearts are Hurting,” which signifies Xena and Gabrielle reaffirming their commitment to their relationship in “The Bitter Suite.” And that’s it! Those took up enough time so that, according to the wikia, new footage for this episode was only filmed between January 19 and 23, 1998. It was the shortest filming time of the season! Lucy Lawless had a mere four minutes of screen time in the present. Though again, according to the wikia, we were supposed to see her chakram behind a pillar in the temple, as a hint that she’s watching out for her friend. But ultimately the writers decided that Xena would know that Gabrielle needed her space. Too bad that Joxer didn’t come to that conclusion, too. :P
So what was up with Gabrielle this episode? I’ve been struggling with her more during this re-watch of “the rift,” or more accurately, other peoples’ interpretations. I wonder how much of those interpretations were really a form of retrospect from after this episode, because here Gabby does go ahead and admit to her jealousy of Lao Ma. To be fair, she herself was in such denial that this whole hour was a conceit in order to deal with it! :P Maybe it’s that I’m used to thinking of Gabs as “the good one.” She believes in life and peace and second chances, and personally I still think that all of those things still apply to her decision to intercede in Chin. But even that choice came with complications, as she told Xena then: “My reverence for life kept a brutal tyrant in power and led to my best friend’s execution.” With that quote in mind, it’s suddenly easier to understand why she let Crassus die last episode. She’d already had to live with the repercussions of aiding a tyrant. And I like this. I like that Gabrielle can’t remain innocent of the complications of the world, and that impacts her decisions about how best she can serve goodly ends. The “Xena” cast, in the DVD commentaries, see this as Gabrielle making more proactive moves, too. In the past she was more of a follower but now she’s a player in her own right. Maybe that’s why Ares colludes with her. :P OK, no, Ares does things for his own ends. They made it pretty clear that Gabs now owes him a favor…a foreshadowing remark. But it was great to be able to see Kevin Smith and Renee O’Connor interact again. There is sort of a natural clunkiness to their arguments ending with Gabs declaring: “that’s not true! Take a look at this flashback clip!” :P But their interplay made everything more fun. Back to the jealousy issue, though, there is little way to see that as anything other than petty. Maybe there is some perspective in the fact that Gabby’s relationship with Xena was the first substantial one outside of her family. So yeah, it hurts to be reminded that Xena has lived a much fuller life and has strong ties with a lot more people. But it’s time to grow up, Gabs. :P If you can accept a more mature morality, then accept a more mature relationship.
Joxer is also in need of recognizing more mature relationships, lol. It is just not cool to try and convince someone with amnesia that she is in love with you, boy! :P Obviously no one was expecting us to take this plotline quite so seriously, and Joxer the Mighty ultimately came to the conclusion that he should tell Gabrielle the (almost) truth when she started to come on to him. :P It’s nice for continuity, too, to remember that he has the feels for her, though apparently he’s learned how to read her scrolls since “The Quill is Mightier.” But mostly, he served as comic relief. Yes, it’s cute when his “ultimate power” is to throw dirt in the guards’ faces and run past them and into the temple, but his true skill there was to distract from some awful acting. :P Sheesh, “Xena” crew, couldn’t you have used the saved cash to hire two people who could at least speak with inflection? Anywho. Joxer also climbed a tree and looked in on Gabby in the temple in a shot that was obviously superimposed onto another shot, but hey, it was the ‘90s here, hee. I also really love how Gabby’s scrolls are apparently named after “Xena” episodes, so of course Joxer started reading from “Sins of the Past.” Renee O’Connor also got to do a little comedy here, but it was mostly circumstantial, in how her vacant cluelessness belied the truth about Gab’s backstory. (Also, kudos to the writers for making fun of themselves with Gabby’s remark about her ever-shrinking sports bra! :P) On a more ominous note, I suppose that she was our stand-in for what Gabs would be like if she chose to forget her past. :/
Meanwhile, though Xena hardly featured into this episode, except in flashbacks, OF COURSE she strolls in at the last minute and had orchestrated the whole thing! :o She knew that Gabby needed to work things out so she made sure to say “meet me near the temple” and yadda yadda. Part of me can be annoyed that Xena is so often all-knowing. But I rather like that she was able to suss out Gabrielle’s emotional needs. It shows that she is a true friend, no less that she stands by their forgiveness and doesn’t open up past wounds because she discovered that Ares got Gabs to Chin. …Gabby doesn’t admit her jealousy to Xena on screen, but the Warrior Princess is content to move on, so long as Gabs has come to terms with her own memories. *wibble* Feklempt!
Of course, “Xena” really steps into it with the mythology this episode. :P Nikolaos over on whoosh.org goes into it a little bit: like with the rivers. They kiiiinda match to some of the rivers of the underworld—Cocytus, the wailing river, which was extremely cold, Phlegethon, the river of fire, which burned but did not consume its victims and Acheron, the river of sorrow, which was swampy and marshy with nearly stagnant waters. It seems like the river of fire maps most neatly, with Gabrielle catching fire after she remembers turning to Ares in the past when Xena left her for Chin. In the first river she’s consumed with guilt about her kills, and finds herself coated in blood. In the second river she is trapped in ice because, mentally, she can’t move forward (to acknowledge her jealous decision, presumably.) I like how all of the events of “the rift” are linked in Gabby’s mind—her first big “fall from innocence” of killing people, her first falling out with Xena over Hope, and her second one concerning Chin. I also like the metaphor that “Ares” uses for the second river—water as torments and ice path as the thin layer of control that we try to exert over it. (And apparently the icy river was actually warm and the fiery river was actually cold, so poor Renee!) Steven L. Sears also spoke at ’98 DragonCon about how he first saw Gabby (and Joxer’s) memories floating around them when they drank from the cup. But anywho, back to faulty mythology! :P Nikaloas also points out that the priestess Mnemosyne should have been replaced with the goddess, Lethe, who dealt in forgetfulness, though Sears saw Mnemosyne as a conduit to make Gabs come to terms with memories, not to forget them. Still, Lethe is actually tied to one of the underworld rivers and Gabs is at least flirting with giving her memories up. This whole tableau is reminding me of how “Once Upon a Time” would deal with their underworld plotline, years later, and how fans would call them out on their inaccuracies. :P But back to “Xena,” according to another whoosh.org contributor, the women in the temple were chanting in either Malay or Indonesian! Wonder how that came about.
Disclaimer Xena and Joxer were not forgotten during production of this motion picture.
Favorite Quotes:
*a clunky, though ultimately humorous tilt into the inciting incident of the episode*
Joxer: OK-- I-- I don’t know what’s up. But I know something’s wrong. Maybe I can help you.
Gabrielle: No one can help. It’s my memories. I can’t shake them. I, I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. It’s like I’m paying for something, but I don’t know what it is. I have to find the answer.
Joxer: OK, OK, OK, we’ll- we’ll-- meet up with Xena later-- OK?
Gabrielle: Joxer, I have to do this alone. Wait here.
Joxer: Wait! How long?
Gabrielle: “I don’t know.”
Joxer: *ticking, then bell* That’s long enough.
*Ominous set up…*
Guard: You have questions that need to be answered?
Gabrielle: Yes. I have pain-- incredible pain. I want it to end.
Guard: Erasing the pain of memory comes with a price. Are you prepared to lose everything you’ve ever known?
Gabrielle: Yes, I’m prepared.
Guard: Enter.
*the stakes are high…and despite that this is a clip episode, we’re not supposed to be thinking about “Dreamworker” :P*
Priestess: Fill the bowl from the jug. There is one bowl filled for every person who comes to us.
Gabrielle: Filled with what?
Priestess: Memories-- answers. Gabrielle-- you’re about to take a journey through your memories.
Gabrielle: Like a dreamscape?
Priestess: Do not confuse dreams with memories. Your memory has three rivers. To find the answer to your pain, you _must_ cross them all. Once you find the answer, you will have to decide.
Gabrielle: Decide what?
Priestess: On whether to keep your past or forever lose it. This bowl will hold everything you know. If it is ever emptied-- so goes your memory. Do you understand the risk?
Gabrielle: I’ve decided. I need to know.
*Joxer attempts to be threatening*
Guard: You can see her when she comes out. She is with the Priestess of Mnemosyne, now.
Joxer: Oh, yeah? Well, um-- I got news for ya. I’ll be back. You’re both on my list. And I’m _not_ taking any names!
*the priestess’s joke falls short because of bad acting, but fortunately Ted Raimi can carry his lines*
Joxer: Gabrielle!
Priestess: She is on her journey, Joxer. That Gabrielle is just an empty shell, with no realization of her past.
Joxer: Get away from her. How’d you know my name?
Priestess: I have your memories-- ow.
Joxer: Whatever. I’m gettin’ her out of here. Don’t try and stop me.
Priestess: Your feelings give you away. If you love her, allow her the chance to lose the pain she carries. It’s in her memory.
Joxer: Yeah? Well, I can make her forget. I’m a very forgettable person!
*”Ares” makes his grand entrance*
Metaphorical Ares: Uh-uh-uh-- I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
Gabrielle: What are you doing here?
Metaphorical Ares: You don’t know? Oh, yeah-- the memory thing, right? Got a problem up here? Bad thoughts keeping you up nights? Believe it or not-- I’m here to protect you. Remember when you-- stole my powers with that whole-- scroll business? I know-- call me a big softie, but-- I decided I like you after all.
Gabrielle: Maybe you’re here for your own selfish reasons.
Metaphorical Ares: Aren’t you? It’s called the ‘River of Wailing.’ And just remember-- I did warn you.
*man, this “Ares” is a philosopher*
Metaphorical Ares: ‘The River of Woe.’ You know? It isn’t any better than the one you just went through. Think about it.
Gabrielle: I have. The last one took me by surprise, but-- I’m ready for this.
Metaphorical Ares: I hope so. This river runs deep.
*I bet that some folks liked Forgotten Gab’s name for “Joxer.” :P Otherwise, this poor girl doesn’t remember square one*
Forgotten Gabrielle: Sorry, Jerkster.
Joxer: Joxer.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Joxer? Nothing seems familiar, In fact, I don’t even know what _familiar_ feels like.
Joxer: High priestess was right-- gates are open, but no one’s stormin’ the castle. Oh! Oh-_ho_-ho! Oh. Now-- _I_-- am going to-- _teach you_ a _bout_ yourself. I’m going to—give you your memories back. OK? But—just the good ones-- none of the painful ones. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?
Forgotten Gabrielle: I don’t know.
Joxer: Sit down. Sit! Sit! I’ll fix this right now. OK. Good! The first one-- ‘Sins of the Past.’ ‘It was a-- warm day in--Poteidaia, when the bard awoke. As she-- _moved_ softly through the--
Forgotten Gabrielle: Excuse me.
Joxer: Y-yeah?
Forgotten Gabrielle: What’s a Poteidaia?
*”Ares” enjoys metaphors and foreshadowing*
Metaphorical Ares: So-- found a bit of an ice bridge. Good-- very good.
Gabrielle: If I can-- if I can just stay above the water-- it can’t hurt me.
Metaphorical Ares: Hmm-- interesting. There’s an analogy here, of course--the water representing our torments, the ice-- the thin layer of control we’d like to believe that we have over it.
Gabrielle: Shut up!
Metaphorical Ares: But it’s a _false_ confidence if the ice should _suddenly_ develop a--
Gabrielle: Help me.
Metaphorical Ares: Not my job, my dear. Well-- not yet, anyway.
*”Ares” goads Gabby to give up and Gabby tries to find a reason to go on*
Gabrielle: I can’t continue. I-it’s too much.
Metaphorical Ares: That’s the spirit. Let it go! I mean, what does it matter? Pain is just nature’s way of saying, ‘Hey! You’re alive.’ Accept it. Who needs it?
Gabrielle: I can go back. I have the answer.
Metaphorical Ares: Do you, now?
Gabrielle: Yes. I thought that I’d never come to terms-- with my mistakes. But I did-- when I visited Xena-- in Ming T’ien’s prison.
*after Gabrielle is still stuck, “Ares” torments her*
Gabrielle: You-- said you’d-- save me.
Metaphorical Ares: No, no. What I said was, ‘I would be _here_ to save you-- and I _am_.
Gabrielle: I can’t go back. I can’t go forward. I don’t know what to do.
Metaphorical Ares: Well-- seems to me the answer’s obvious. You could stay here for all eternity or-- death. Just tryin’ to help.
*the very definition of “the male gaze.” :P*
Forgotten Gabrielle: It’s very strange. With every story you tell me, this thing I’m wearing gets smaller. Is it enchanted?
Joxer: Uh-- yeah. They, uh-- they are. It is.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Hmm.
*Joxer starts to realize that he can rewrite history*
Forgotten Gabrielle: Are you going to sing that ‘Jerks-- ’ that--‘Joxer the Mighty’ song, again? I like that song.
Joxer: Are you kiddin’ me? You hate it.
Forgotten Gabrielle: I do?
Joxer: No, uh-- you love it. Uh, but _this_ is the story of Callisto.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Callisto?
Joxer: Yeah.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Do I like her?
Joxer: No-- but, uh-- I want you to hear when we first met. Uh--‘this mus--’ yeah, ‘Suddenly, there he was. He called himself, “Joxer,” a warrior.’ Huh- well-termed phrase, I must say. ‘But a warrior like no other-- so inept-- so clumsy-- s-- ’ uh--so-- cleverly disguised-- as a bumbler-- that-- uh-- no one suspected his true warrior nature. Hmm.
Forgotten Gabrielle: That’s nice.
Joxer: Yeah, yeah-- it gets better-- lots better. Then I realized-- that’s-- you talking-- then I realized that I was completely taken by this handsome, mysterious, dark leader of men. Hmm.
Forgotten Gabrielle: I’m in love with you?
Joxer: Yes. Yes, you are.
*once again some clunky exposition from Gabs (Ares can sell it), but it does lead to a singing reprieve!:D*
Metaphorical Ares: If you survive, the answer might be there. Is it all worth it? Is the quest for knowledge worth all this pain?”
Gabrielle: Yes. It has to be. Otherwise, what’s the point of living?
Metaphorical Ares: Point-- there is no point to living. Don’t you get it, Gabrielle? Maybe, that’s the source of all your pain—all you’ve been through with Xena-- all she’s put you through. Maybe, you finally realized it all adds up to a big, fat zero.
Gabrielle: You’re wrong-- not with Xena. We were lost, once. But Solan-- he took us to Illusia to give us one more chance. We found ourselves.
*after Gabby zeroes in on the fact that her deal with the real Ares is part of what is causing her this grief*
Metaphorical Ares: Yes-- now you know. But your strength is gone. The truth you looked for-- it’s done you no good.
Gabrielle: You’re wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! You aren’t Ares. You aren’t a god! You’re from within me. You’re that part of me who wants to hide the truth.
Metaphorical Ares: Call me what you will-- your guilt-- your denial. You can’t defeat me. You’ll only die trying.
*Gabby’s deal with the real Ares—a new scene as part of “The Debt” duology*
Ares: Well-- there she goes without you. Kind of makes you feel second best, doesn’t it?
Gabrielle: Leave me alone, Ares. Xena has her own decisions to make.
Ares: Really? Sounds more like an obligation to me. Yeah-- Lao Ma must be important, all right. Xena would never do anything like this for you. Funny, isn’t it? You give up your family, your home, your blood innocence, your daughter-- all because of Xena. And yet it’s--like nothing compared to the debt she owes this woman. Of course, you could always stop her.
Gabrielle: I could never get to Ch’in fast enough. Xena’s sure to take the fastest route.
Ares: Hmm. That is true. You’re only mortal, after all.
Gabrielle: You could do it. You could get me there ahead of her.
Ares: Is that what you want? ‘Cause you have to ask me-- that is, if it doesn’t bother you owing a favor to the god of war.
Gabrielle: Send me there-- I’m asking.
Ares: To prevent a murder—for the sake of friendship.”
Gabrielle: “Yeah-- for friendship.
*Gabrielle admits to her true feelings and now must battle if she will choose to forget everything that she’s ever known*
Gabrielle: I wanted to get there before Xena-- so that I could betray her. I _wanted_ to betray her. I gave her _everything_ and it meant nothing to her. I hated her for loving someone else. I wanted her to hurt! I wanted her to be punished! And I almost got her killed. Why-- my hatred and jealousy almost destroyed my best friend.
Metaphorical Ares: So-- now you have the answer. The question is-- can you live with it? Drink. Empty the bowl.
Gabrielle: If the bowl is ever emptied, so go my memories.
Metaphorical Ares: And the pain-- all that pain.
Gabrielle: And the memories of my youth-- my parents-- my loves.
Metaphorical Ares: The betrayal-- the killing-- the death of your child.
Gabrielle: And Xena.
Metaphorical Ares: Bottom line, Gabrielle-- you won’t miss what you never knew.
*Joxer realizes the error of his ways—for the most part :P*
Forgotten Gabrielle: By the gods-- I am so _incredibly_ in _love_ with you. I wish I could feel that again.
Joxer: Yeah, so do I.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Take me, Joxer-- now. Like the time, just before you saved Ulysses.
Joxer: “OK. *Gabs kisses him* Wait.
Forgotten Gabrielle: I wanna remember!
Joxer: *responding to her administrations* Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, OK, yeah-- so do I-- so do I—but not like _this_!
Forgotten Gabrielle: Is this that centurion/gladiator game we used to play?
Joxer: No. N- no. N- n- no, no, Gabrielle. Look, I, I--elaborated a little bit on-- some of the things I told you about you and I-- uh-- a little-- a little bit-- lot, lots. Well—a lottta littles. I lied.
Forgotten Gabrielle: You lied. What’s a lie?
Joxer: A lie is-- me thinking I could give you back all your happy memories. I’m just-- not a part of those, and I really wanted to be. Look-- I didn’t rescue Ulysses-- that was Xena. And I didn’t get Ares back his godhood. That was Xena, too. And I didn’t convert Hercules back from being evil. That was-- well-- it was complicated. And-- Callisto’s not my love kitten, but look, Gabrielle-- I just want the old Gabrielle back, you know? The one that used to smack me on the forehead and gouge out my eyes, and-- just-- forget everything I’ve told you. It’s not who you are. Except the part about-- dancing nude in the rain--that is you.
*Xena returns, all-knowing, forgiving, and with her usual end-of-episode jibe at Joxer :P*
Gabrielle: Xena-- you knew all along. That’s why-- you wanted me to wait at the temple of Mnemosyne, right?
Xena: I wondered how you made it to Ch’in ahead of me. I figured Ares might have a hand in it, but what I couldn’t understand was _why_? Nightmares can tell you a lotta things. Thank the gods, you talk in your sleep. I knew this was one journey you had to make without me. I’m just glad you made it back.
Gabrielle: If I didn’t have the painful memories, then I wouldn’t know what the good ones were like, right? I-- I just couldn’t let it go, Xena, no matter what the pain. I’m sorry.
Xena: No-- no, it’s over. Welcome home.
Joxer: Hey-- aren’t you forgettin’ about me?
Xena: No, Joxer-- not even Mnemosyne could help her with that.
That being said…I’m not sure how I feel about her motivations concerning certain spoilery things. :P According to whoosh.org even Renee O’Connor had issues with this development, and she ultimately chalked it up to Gabrielle being human and flawed. And I can always get behind human and flawed characters! Maybe it’s the intensity of her emotions that gives me pause. Apparently they run deep enough to give Gabby some post traumatic stress and provide the impetus for this episode.
We also get some answers, that certainly at least a few fans wanted, about Gabrielle’s quick travel time to Chin. Yay for tying up loose ends! Though boo for some really bad acting by the newbie guest stars. I guess after an episode like the last one, with such great acting across the board, I should just count my blessings. And here we do get the return of two notable guest stars—Ted Raimi as Joxer, and—I’ll leave the other one as a surprise for under the cut! :P
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Gabrielle and Joxer are supposed to wait for Xena by the temple of Mnemosyne but Gabs is too haunted by memories of Hope to sit still. This goes deeper than a passing thing. She’s stopped eating and sleeping, and feels like she must atone for something that she can’t put her finger on. Despite Joxer’s attempts to help she decides to see the priestess, Mnemosyne at the temple. Mnemosyne immediately downloads her memories and sets Gabs down a spiritual path, with the caveat that at the end she can choose whether or not to retain her memories. Joxer, meanwhile, after some comedic scuffles, is able to break into the temple and take Gabby, who is conscious but now an empty shell, back out of there. The spiritual Gabby has come across the River of Wailing and lo and behold, Ares is there! He warns her not to take the trip, and indeed when she wades into the river she sees two people whom she’s killed—Meridian and Crassus. She emerges, covered in blood! Later, she comes to the River of Woe, which Ares poeticizes is about the thin layer of control (an ice bridge) that humans have over the churning mass of guilt. Gabby starts to probe her remembrances of betraying Xena, but she doesn’t get into the why until the third, fiery river. (In the second one, she has to save herself from an icy grave of suffocation.) She was as jealous of Xena’s relationship to Lao Ma as she was determined to save her friend from murdering Ming Tien. This fake Ares is the manifestation of her guilt, because indeed Gabrielle got to Chin ahead of Xena by asking for help from the God of War. This phantom Ares has been imploring Gabby to give up, even though the girl does expound on some happier memories. Once she centers in on that guilty feeling that she’s trying to atone for, her bowl from the temple reappears, with the choice of drinking it and forgetting all. But Gabby decides to live with her mistakes and she comes back to herself, just as Joxer is trying to convince her shell that she had once danced naked in front of him. :P Not so great to trick a handicapped girl, Jox, but actually he’d already gone through his entire subplot of tricking her into thinking she was in love with him and then coming forth with the truth. Now, at the end of the episode, Xena returns with the reveal that she stayed away purposefully so that Gabs could go to the temple and get her affairs in order. “The rift” doesn’t reopen for them, despite the reveal about Gabby’s jealousy; after her apology Xena is just glad that she’s retained her memories.
Here is the list of the previous clips used and what they mean. From “Maternal Instincts,” Xena’s anger when she finds out that Hope still lives, and then Gabby poisoning her daughter (and nearly herself.) Gabrielle being duped into killing Meridian in “The Deliverer.” Then, from the last episode, “When in Rome,” her promise to Crassus to return his ring and her ultimate decision to hold on to it, leading to his death. Xena affirming that her love for Lao Ma and her need to kill Ming Tien, and how these outweigh the past few years with Gabs. Gabs then shocking Xena in Ming Tien’s bed, being present at her “trial” and tearfully apologizing for her mistake, all from “The Debt” parts 1 and 2. A musical reprieve! :D In the form of “Hate is the Star/Hearts are Hurting,” which signifies Xena and Gabrielle reaffirming their commitment to their relationship in “The Bitter Suite.” And that’s it! Those took up enough time so that, according to the wikia, new footage for this episode was only filmed between January 19 and 23, 1998. It was the shortest filming time of the season! Lucy Lawless had a mere four minutes of screen time in the present. Though again, according to the wikia, we were supposed to see her chakram behind a pillar in the temple, as a hint that she’s watching out for her friend. But ultimately the writers decided that Xena would know that Gabrielle needed her space. Too bad that Joxer didn’t come to that conclusion, too. :P
So what was up with Gabrielle this episode? I’ve been struggling with her more during this re-watch of “the rift,” or more accurately, other peoples’ interpretations. I wonder how much of those interpretations were really a form of retrospect from after this episode, because here Gabby does go ahead and admit to her jealousy of Lao Ma. To be fair, she herself was in such denial that this whole hour was a conceit in order to deal with it! :P Maybe it’s that I’m used to thinking of Gabs as “the good one.” She believes in life and peace and second chances, and personally I still think that all of those things still apply to her decision to intercede in Chin. But even that choice came with complications, as she told Xena then: “My reverence for life kept a brutal tyrant in power and led to my best friend’s execution.” With that quote in mind, it’s suddenly easier to understand why she let Crassus die last episode. She’d already had to live with the repercussions of aiding a tyrant. And I like this. I like that Gabrielle can’t remain innocent of the complications of the world, and that impacts her decisions about how best she can serve goodly ends. The “Xena” cast, in the DVD commentaries, see this as Gabrielle making more proactive moves, too. In the past she was more of a follower but now she’s a player in her own right. Maybe that’s why Ares colludes with her. :P OK, no, Ares does things for his own ends. They made it pretty clear that Gabs now owes him a favor…a foreshadowing remark. But it was great to be able to see Kevin Smith and Renee O’Connor interact again. There is sort of a natural clunkiness to their arguments ending with Gabs declaring: “that’s not true! Take a look at this flashback clip!” :P But their interplay made everything more fun. Back to the jealousy issue, though, there is little way to see that as anything other than petty. Maybe there is some perspective in the fact that Gabby’s relationship with Xena was the first substantial one outside of her family. So yeah, it hurts to be reminded that Xena has lived a much fuller life and has strong ties with a lot more people. But it’s time to grow up, Gabs. :P If you can accept a more mature morality, then accept a more mature relationship.
Joxer is also in need of recognizing more mature relationships, lol. It is just not cool to try and convince someone with amnesia that she is in love with you, boy! :P Obviously no one was expecting us to take this plotline quite so seriously, and Joxer the Mighty ultimately came to the conclusion that he should tell Gabrielle the (almost) truth when she started to come on to him. :P It’s nice for continuity, too, to remember that he has the feels for her, though apparently he’s learned how to read her scrolls since “The Quill is Mightier.” But mostly, he served as comic relief. Yes, it’s cute when his “ultimate power” is to throw dirt in the guards’ faces and run past them and into the temple, but his true skill there was to distract from some awful acting. :P Sheesh, “Xena” crew, couldn’t you have used the saved cash to hire two people who could at least speak with inflection? Anywho. Joxer also climbed a tree and looked in on Gabby in the temple in a shot that was obviously superimposed onto another shot, but hey, it was the ‘90s here, hee. I also really love how Gabby’s scrolls are apparently named after “Xena” episodes, so of course Joxer started reading from “Sins of the Past.” Renee O’Connor also got to do a little comedy here, but it was mostly circumstantial, in how her vacant cluelessness belied the truth about Gab’s backstory. (Also, kudos to the writers for making fun of themselves with Gabby’s remark about her ever-shrinking sports bra! :P) On a more ominous note, I suppose that she was our stand-in for what Gabs would be like if she chose to forget her past. :/
Meanwhile, though Xena hardly featured into this episode, except in flashbacks, OF COURSE she strolls in at the last minute and had orchestrated the whole thing! :o She knew that Gabby needed to work things out so she made sure to say “meet me near the temple” and yadda yadda. Part of me can be annoyed that Xena is so often all-knowing. But I rather like that she was able to suss out Gabrielle’s emotional needs. It shows that she is a true friend, no less that she stands by their forgiveness and doesn’t open up past wounds because she discovered that Ares got Gabs to Chin. …Gabby doesn’t admit her jealousy to Xena on screen, but the Warrior Princess is content to move on, so long as Gabs has come to terms with her own memories. *wibble* Feklempt!
Of course, “Xena” really steps into it with the mythology this episode. :P Nikolaos over on whoosh.org goes into it a little bit: like with the rivers. They kiiiinda match to some of the rivers of the underworld—Cocytus, the wailing river, which was extremely cold, Phlegethon, the river of fire, which burned but did not consume its victims and Acheron, the river of sorrow, which was swampy and marshy with nearly stagnant waters. It seems like the river of fire maps most neatly, with Gabrielle catching fire after she remembers turning to Ares in the past when Xena left her for Chin. In the first river she’s consumed with guilt about her kills, and finds herself coated in blood. In the second river she is trapped in ice because, mentally, she can’t move forward (to acknowledge her jealous decision, presumably.) I like how all of the events of “the rift” are linked in Gabby’s mind—her first big “fall from innocence” of killing people, her first falling out with Xena over Hope, and her second one concerning Chin. I also like the metaphor that “Ares” uses for the second river—water as torments and ice path as the thin layer of control that we try to exert over it. (And apparently the icy river was actually warm and the fiery river was actually cold, so poor Renee!) Steven L. Sears also spoke at ’98 DragonCon about how he first saw Gabby (and Joxer’s) memories floating around them when they drank from the cup. But anywho, back to faulty mythology! :P Nikaloas also points out that the priestess Mnemosyne should have been replaced with the goddess, Lethe, who dealt in forgetfulness, though Sears saw Mnemosyne as a conduit to make Gabs come to terms with memories, not to forget them. Still, Lethe is actually tied to one of the underworld rivers and Gabs is at least flirting with giving her memories up. This whole tableau is reminding me of how “Once Upon a Time” would deal with their underworld plotline, years later, and how fans would call them out on their inaccuracies. :P But back to “Xena,” according to another whoosh.org contributor, the women in the temple were chanting in either Malay or Indonesian! Wonder how that came about.
Disclaimer Xena and Joxer were not forgotten during production of this motion picture.
Favorite Quotes:
*a clunky, though ultimately humorous tilt into the inciting incident of the episode*
Joxer: OK-- I-- I don’t know what’s up. But I know something’s wrong. Maybe I can help you.
Gabrielle: No one can help. It’s my memories. I can’t shake them. I, I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. It’s like I’m paying for something, but I don’t know what it is. I have to find the answer.
Joxer: OK, OK, OK, we’ll- we’ll-- meet up with Xena later-- OK?
Gabrielle: Joxer, I have to do this alone. Wait here.
Joxer: Wait! How long?
Gabrielle: “I don’t know.”
Joxer: *ticking, then bell* That’s long enough.
*Ominous set up…*
Guard: You have questions that need to be answered?
Gabrielle: Yes. I have pain-- incredible pain. I want it to end.
Guard: Erasing the pain of memory comes with a price. Are you prepared to lose everything you’ve ever known?
Gabrielle: Yes, I’m prepared.
Guard: Enter.
*the stakes are high…and despite that this is a clip episode, we’re not supposed to be thinking about “Dreamworker” :P*
Priestess: Fill the bowl from the jug. There is one bowl filled for every person who comes to us.
Gabrielle: Filled with what?
Priestess: Memories-- answers. Gabrielle-- you’re about to take a journey through your memories.
Gabrielle: Like a dreamscape?
Priestess: Do not confuse dreams with memories. Your memory has three rivers. To find the answer to your pain, you _must_ cross them all. Once you find the answer, you will have to decide.
Gabrielle: Decide what?
Priestess: On whether to keep your past or forever lose it. This bowl will hold everything you know. If it is ever emptied-- so goes your memory. Do you understand the risk?
Gabrielle: I’ve decided. I need to know.
*Joxer attempts to be threatening*
Guard: You can see her when she comes out. She is with the Priestess of Mnemosyne, now.
Joxer: Oh, yeah? Well, um-- I got news for ya. I’ll be back. You’re both on my list. And I’m _not_ taking any names!
*the priestess’s joke falls short because of bad acting, but fortunately Ted Raimi can carry his lines*
Joxer: Gabrielle!
Priestess: She is on her journey, Joxer. That Gabrielle is just an empty shell, with no realization of her past.
Joxer: Get away from her. How’d you know my name?
Priestess: I have your memories-- ow.
Joxer: Whatever. I’m gettin’ her out of here. Don’t try and stop me.
Priestess: Your feelings give you away. If you love her, allow her the chance to lose the pain she carries. It’s in her memory.
Joxer: Yeah? Well, I can make her forget. I’m a very forgettable person!
*”Ares” makes his grand entrance*
Metaphorical Ares: Uh-uh-uh-- I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
Gabrielle: What are you doing here?
Metaphorical Ares: You don’t know? Oh, yeah-- the memory thing, right? Got a problem up here? Bad thoughts keeping you up nights? Believe it or not-- I’m here to protect you. Remember when you-- stole my powers with that whole-- scroll business? I know-- call me a big softie, but-- I decided I like you after all.
Gabrielle: Maybe you’re here for your own selfish reasons.
Metaphorical Ares: Aren’t you? It’s called the ‘River of Wailing.’ And just remember-- I did warn you.
*man, this “Ares” is a philosopher*
Metaphorical Ares: ‘The River of Woe.’ You know? It isn’t any better than the one you just went through. Think about it.
Gabrielle: I have. The last one took me by surprise, but-- I’m ready for this.
Metaphorical Ares: I hope so. This river runs deep.
*I bet that some folks liked Forgotten Gab’s name for “Joxer.” :P Otherwise, this poor girl doesn’t remember square one*
Forgotten Gabrielle: Sorry, Jerkster.
Joxer: Joxer.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Joxer? Nothing seems familiar, In fact, I don’t even know what _familiar_ feels like.
Joxer: High priestess was right-- gates are open, but no one’s stormin’ the castle. Oh! Oh-_ho_-ho! Oh. Now-- _I_-- am going to-- _teach you_ a _bout_ yourself. I’m going to—give you your memories back. OK? But—just the good ones-- none of the painful ones. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?
Forgotten Gabrielle: I don’t know.
Joxer: Sit down. Sit! Sit! I’ll fix this right now. OK. Good! The first one-- ‘Sins of the Past.’ ‘It was a-- warm day in--Poteidaia, when the bard awoke. As she-- _moved_ softly through the--
Forgotten Gabrielle: Excuse me.
Joxer: Y-yeah?
Forgotten Gabrielle: What’s a Poteidaia?
*”Ares” enjoys metaphors and foreshadowing*
Metaphorical Ares: So-- found a bit of an ice bridge. Good-- very good.
Gabrielle: If I can-- if I can just stay above the water-- it can’t hurt me.
Metaphorical Ares: Hmm-- interesting. There’s an analogy here, of course--the water representing our torments, the ice-- the thin layer of control we’d like to believe that we have over it.
Gabrielle: Shut up!
Metaphorical Ares: But it’s a _false_ confidence if the ice should _suddenly_ develop a--
Gabrielle: Help me.
Metaphorical Ares: Not my job, my dear. Well-- not yet, anyway.
*”Ares” goads Gabby to give up and Gabby tries to find a reason to go on*
Gabrielle: I can’t continue. I-it’s too much.
Metaphorical Ares: That’s the spirit. Let it go! I mean, what does it matter? Pain is just nature’s way of saying, ‘Hey! You’re alive.’ Accept it. Who needs it?
Gabrielle: I can go back. I have the answer.
Metaphorical Ares: Do you, now?
Gabrielle: Yes. I thought that I’d never come to terms-- with my mistakes. But I did-- when I visited Xena-- in Ming T’ien’s prison.
*after Gabrielle is still stuck, “Ares” torments her*
Gabrielle: You-- said you’d-- save me.
Metaphorical Ares: No, no. What I said was, ‘I would be _here_ to save you-- and I _am_.
Gabrielle: I can’t go back. I can’t go forward. I don’t know what to do.
Metaphorical Ares: Well-- seems to me the answer’s obvious. You could stay here for all eternity or-- death. Just tryin’ to help.
*the very definition of “the male gaze.” :P*
Forgotten Gabrielle: It’s very strange. With every story you tell me, this thing I’m wearing gets smaller. Is it enchanted?
Joxer: Uh-- yeah. They, uh-- they are. It is.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Hmm.
*Joxer starts to realize that he can rewrite history*
Forgotten Gabrielle: Are you going to sing that ‘Jerks-- ’ that--‘Joxer the Mighty’ song, again? I like that song.
Joxer: Are you kiddin’ me? You hate it.
Forgotten Gabrielle: I do?
Joxer: No, uh-- you love it. Uh, but _this_ is the story of Callisto.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Callisto?
Joxer: Yeah.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Do I like her?
Joxer: No-- but, uh-- I want you to hear when we first met. Uh--‘this mus--’ yeah, ‘Suddenly, there he was. He called himself, “Joxer,” a warrior.’ Huh- well-termed phrase, I must say. ‘But a warrior like no other-- so inept-- so clumsy-- s-- ’ uh--so-- cleverly disguised-- as a bumbler-- that-- uh-- no one suspected his true warrior nature. Hmm.
Forgotten Gabrielle: That’s nice.
Joxer: Yeah, yeah-- it gets better-- lots better. Then I realized-- that’s-- you talking-- then I realized that I was completely taken by this handsome, mysterious, dark leader of men. Hmm.
Forgotten Gabrielle: I’m in love with you?
Joxer: Yes. Yes, you are.
*once again some clunky exposition from Gabs (Ares can sell it), but it does lead to a singing reprieve!:D*
Metaphorical Ares: If you survive, the answer might be there. Is it all worth it? Is the quest for knowledge worth all this pain?”
Gabrielle: Yes. It has to be. Otherwise, what’s the point of living?
Metaphorical Ares: Point-- there is no point to living. Don’t you get it, Gabrielle? Maybe, that’s the source of all your pain—all you’ve been through with Xena-- all she’s put you through. Maybe, you finally realized it all adds up to a big, fat zero.
Gabrielle: You’re wrong-- not with Xena. We were lost, once. But Solan-- he took us to Illusia to give us one more chance. We found ourselves.
*after Gabby zeroes in on the fact that her deal with the real Ares is part of what is causing her this grief*
Metaphorical Ares: Yes-- now you know. But your strength is gone. The truth you looked for-- it’s done you no good.
Gabrielle: You’re wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! You aren’t Ares. You aren’t a god! You’re from within me. You’re that part of me who wants to hide the truth.
Metaphorical Ares: Call me what you will-- your guilt-- your denial. You can’t defeat me. You’ll only die trying.
*Gabby’s deal with the real Ares—a new scene as part of “The Debt” duology*
Ares: Well-- there she goes without you. Kind of makes you feel second best, doesn’t it?
Gabrielle: Leave me alone, Ares. Xena has her own decisions to make.
Ares: Really? Sounds more like an obligation to me. Yeah-- Lao Ma must be important, all right. Xena would never do anything like this for you. Funny, isn’t it? You give up your family, your home, your blood innocence, your daughter-- all because of Xena. And yet it’s--like nothing compared to the debt she owes this woman. Of course, you could always stop her.
Gabrielle: I could never get to Ch’in fast enough. Xena’s sure to take the fastest route.
Ares: Hmm. That is true. You’re only mortal, after all.
Gabrielle: You could do it. You could get me there ahead of her.
Ares: Is that what you want? ‘Cause you have to ask me-- that is, if it doesn’t bother you owing a favor to the god of war.
Gabrielle: Send me there-- I’m asking.
Ares: To prevent a murder—for the sake of friendship.”
Gabrielle: “Yeah-- for friendship.
*Gabrielle admits to her true feelings and now must battle if she will choose to forget everything that she’s ever known*
Gabrielle: I wanted to get there before Xena-- so that I could betray her. I _wanted_ to betray her. I gave her _everything_ and it meant nothing to her. I hated her for loving someone else. I wanted her to hurt! I wanted her to be punished! And I almost got her killed. Why-- my hatred and jealousy almost destroyed my best friend.
Metaphorical Ares: So-- now you have the answer. The question is-- can you live with it? Drink. Empty the bowl.
Gabrielle: If the bowl is ever emptied, so go my memories.
Metaphorical Ares: And the pain-- all that pain.
Gabrielle: And the memories of my youth-- my parents-- my loves.
Metaphorical Ares: The betrayal-- the killing-- the death of your child.
Gabrielle: And Xena.
Metaphorical Ares: Bottom line, Gabrielle-- you won’t miss what you never knew.
*Joxer realizes the error of his ways—for the most part :P*
Forgotten Gabrielle: By the gods-- I am so _incredibly_ in _love_ with you. I wish I could feel that again.
Joxer: Yeah, so do I.
Forgotten Gabrielle: Take me, Joxer-- now. Like the time, just before you saved Ulysses.
Joxer: “OK. *Gabs kisses him* Wait.
Forgotten Gabrielle: I wanna remember!
Joxer: *responding to her administrations* Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, OK, yeah-- so do I-- so do I—but not like _this_!
Forgotten Gabrielle: Is this that centurion/gladiator game we used to play?
Joxer: No. N- no. N- n- no, no, Gabrielle. Look, I, I--elaborated a little bit on-- some of the things I told you about you and I-- uh-- a little-- a little bit-- lot, lots. Well—a lottta littles. I lied.
Forgotten Gabrielle: You lied. What’s a lie?
Joxer: A lie is-- me thinking I could give you back all your happy memories. I’m just-- not a part of those, and I really wanted to be. Look-- I didn’t rescue Ulysses-- that was Xena. And I didn’t get Ares back his godhood. That was Xena, too. And I didn’t convert Hercules back from being evil. That was-- well-- it was complicated. And-- Callisto’s not my love kitten, but look, Gabrielle-- I just want the old Gabrielle back, you know? The one that used to smack me on the forehead and gouge out my eyes, and-- just-- forget everything I’ve told you. It’s not who you are. Except the part about-- dancing nude in the rain--that is you.
*Xena returns, all-knowing, forgiving, and with her usual end-of-episode jibe at Joxer :P*
Gabrielle: Xena-- you knew all along. That’s why-- you wanted me to wait at the temple of Mnemosyne, right?
Xena: I wondered how you made it to Ch’in ahead of me. I figured Ares might have a hand in it, but what I couldn’t understand was _why_? Nightmares can tell you a lotta things. Thank the gods, you talk in your sleep. I knew this was one journey you had to make without me. I’m just glad you made it back.
Gabrielle: If I didn’t have the painful memories, then I wouldn’t know what the good ones were like, right? I-- I just couldn’t let it go, Xena, no matter what the pain. I’m sorry.
Xena: No-- no, it’s over. Welcome home.
Joxer: Hey-- aren’t you forgettin’ about me?
Xena: No, Joxer-- not even Mnemosyne could help her with that.
