The music for “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” played prominently a few eps back, but it works as a title here for obvious, literal reasons at the end. This is also the episode of the season penned by ASOIAF author George R. R. Martin, though it's his weakest of the three. In fairness, covering the Lannister coup where the Starks in King’s Landing went down in season one and the Battle of the Blackwater in season two were far easier and meatier episodes. And there’s some stuff I like in here very much (the Stark children all have strong moments. Catelyn…not so much. Ugh, even GRRM won’t save her adaptation.) I also enjoy most of the talk/action of sex, for once, except for our second porno number of the season. >.< Jon and Ygritte feel a little off balance sometimes, though sometimes it could be growing emotional complexity for these characters. Daenerys assesses her desires at a new slave city, and the dragons, bigger than last season, look freaking awesome in some action scenes. I feel like maybe if last episode was about whether or not to trust where you are going, this one is about what to do when you get to wherever your destination ultimately is.
Summary
The North
Lots of action in what I call “the North” (of Westeros, that is,) this episode, because Jon and company have breached the Wall! No checking in with Sam and Gilly this week, alas.
Theon and The Boy
Let’s just start here, because UGH. Get it over with. Theon wakes up, girls are cleaning and touching him, he’s confused, wants help, they tease him, they start to fuck him, the Boy comes in with his horn and wrecks the party, the girls get off and he has his men cut off Theon’s cock. NEXT.
Jon and Ygritte
Ygritte teases Jon about Westerosi fighting, you know with the banners and the drums on the paved roads to alert the enemy that you’re coming. Jon points out that Mance’s “biggest fire that the north has ever seen” isn’t much different, to which she responds that he knows nothing. Orell takes her place and remarks that Jon really does know nothing. He can’t expect to hold onto Ygritte, either, because they come from different worlds. See, Ygritte realizes that people do what they have to in certain situations, then they move on. That’s why she’s moved past Orell cutting her off the wall, yet Jon hasn’t. His ethics are different.
Tormund later gives Jon what seems to be very sound sex advice (don’t just fuck her like you’re a grunting dog, make sure she’s into it!) Meanwhile, Orell propositions Ygritte. He’s not a pretty boy like Jon. He’s one of her own and he’d treat her right—call her fierce and strong, very wildling-esque traits. She seems a little taken aback by his pronouncement, but he hadn’t been nice to her before and she says she loves Jon. Only because you don’t know what he is yet, Orell swears.
After Jon and Ygritte kill a deer for food, they flirt a little more as Ygritte is very taken with a windmill—the largest building she’s ever seen. Jon promises her she’d “swoon” if she saw Winterfell, which she doesn’t understand. Girls “swoon” or “faint”? She imagines her life in silk dresses and he imagines taking them off her. :P But the conversation takes a more serious turn when Ygritte imagines the wildlings taking back their lands in the north. Jon points out that the wildlings have tried six times in the past and have never succeeded. He doesn’t want her to die. Ygritte reminds him that it’s “us” now, and that they should try living before they die. Time for some lip action. :P
Bran and Osha
I should really include everyone. :P Like how when Osha complained that the Reeds never helped with any of the work (erecting a new tent, for example,) Hodor responded “Hodor.” :P Instead, Jojen and Meera were sitting with Bran, discussing “black magic,” or rather, Bran’s visions with the three-eyed raven. Jojen makes the rather startling (to Osha) announcement that they’re no longer going to the Wall where Jon isn’t even around—they’re going to find said raven. Osha gets very upset, putting her foot down. Bran tries to explain that instead of his legs he has these visions—he has to see them through. Osha refuses—she’s not going north of the Wall. None of them know what’s out there—but she does. She recounts a life from before—where she had a lover who was taken by the White Walkers. He returned as a wight who nearly took her life before she was able to escape and burn their tent down with him inside. It was then that she realized that the North was no longer a place for men. She’ll take the Stark boys to the Wall but no further. The kids at least have the decency to be stunned into silence by this story.
Yunkai
Daenerys and co are in a new location! They arrive at the city of Yunkai, which is pretty well fortified. And when it comes to getting back to Westeros…eh, they don’t need to do any conquering here. However, the city is filled with slaves, so Dany’s mind is made up. She sends Grey Worm to the gates to offer terms of surrender.
Later, drums lead a barge with a Yunkai emissary to Dany’s tent. She’s sitting with her dragons, these big and athletic beasts by her side. Makes a huge impression. Dany’s name has also grown, as presented by Missandei—now she’s no longer just the rightful queen of Westeros and the Mother of Dragons, but also “the breaker of chains.” Anywho. The emissary offers her shitload of gold—and ships! Leave our old and venerable city alone; go back to Westeros where you belong! Dany offers him a gift as well—“your life.” As in, give up your slaves, and pay them well for their labors, and you can keep it. The emissary threatens her with Yunkai’s “powerful friends;” maybe they’ll even make her into a slave once the fighting’s done. Dany responds by throwing her dragons some meat, which they swoop around for—badass. :P Yeah, she’s not frightened. Also, with the help of Drogon, she’s keeping the gold. She’ll use it well. The emissary would be wise to do the same with his gift. Teehee. He leaves in a huff. Dany is a little concerned about these “good friends” he was talking about, and tells Jorah to look into it.
King’s Landing
Sansa is recounting her fantasies to Margaery concerning King’s Landing…how, growing up, she always wanted to come to the capital and see all of its beauty. She’s stupid, she sniffs, and she never learns from her past mistakes. Marg takes her by the hand, gives her a rose and proclaims that she doesn’t want to see her unhappy. She might have thrived at Highgarden, but that dream is over now. Now she has to make the best of her circumstances. Sansa admits that her betrothed a Lannister, he has tried to be kind. Margaery points out that her son, through Tyrion, might be lord of both Casterly Rock and the North, and that sons learn from their mothers. Sansa can’t imagine sex with her new husband, and Marg says it’s a shame that women get to experiment so little. But she hears Tyrion is experienced, and “pleasing us takes practice.” Sansa asks her if her mother taught her all of this, to which Marg smiles amusedly and says yes.
Tyrion is having a somewhat similar conversation with Bronn. He protests that she’s a child, but Bronn makes him admit that he’s had women not too much older. …and he might want to fuck her. :O Though it’s an “evil notion.” But let’s talk logistics here, says Bronn—if you give Sansa a son, you get a kingdom AND two women. Two women to hate me and a kingdom to join them, Tyrion gripes. Bronn tells him to give up on making everyone love you—just gets you dead faster—and Shae should understand.
Later, Tyrion gives Shae a golden necklace, which she calls “chains.” He suggests that maybe she could buy passage away from here with it, but she’s only really interested in passage for the two of them. Tyrion refuses—he’s a Lannister, and he can’t be anything else. So Shae’s other option, rather than to leave, is to stay here , cleaning Sansa’s chamberpot and “licking your cock when you’re bored.” Tyrion promises her a home, servants, protection for any children they might have. But why would Shae want children who could never know their father, whom Tywin would kill if he found out? She’s not feeling the love right now. :/ She says: “I’m your whore. And when you get tired of fucking me, I will be nothing.”
Elsewhere in the Red Keep, Joffrey calls Grandpa Tywin to his throne room. He’s a bit put off about not getting any reports on goings on, to which Tywin responds, you can come to the small council meetings, you know. And walk all those stairs to your tower? Joff scoffs. Well, what about someone to carry you? :P Oh, grandpa. Turns out the king is mostly concerned about these reports of Daenerys and her dragons, which Tywin deftly poo poos. Not a threat. Stop telling us to be concerned; people with more knowledge than you say it’s not a big deal. With that bit of counseling over, Grandpa leaves the king.
Speaking of the goings ons of rival kings not so far from home, Melissandre leads Gendry through the wreckage of Blackwater Bay. Gendry isn’t pleased to be so near the place he ran from, but they’re mostly here to sightsee “his father’s house.” Takes Mel a little time to get to it, especially with Gendry insisting that he’s nothing more than lowborn, but he’s the bastard son of King Bob. :O And there’s power in a king’s blood…same thing she told Stannis…
The Riverlands
Robb and Catelyn
Robb, Catelyn, Talisa, the Blackfish, Edmure and most everyone are on their way to the Twins for the upcoming wedding. Autumn snows have delayed them, which Cat tries to warn against—any delays are a slight to Walder Frey, and let’s remember it’s Robb he wanted, not Edmure. He won’t be placated. Her uncle talks over her and they all break for the night. Catelyn stops, briefly, by the door to watch her son and daughter-in-law start to smooch. Later, they finish up some sexy times before Robb gets up to work on war stuff and Talisa starts a letter to her mother. Robb’s a bit distracted by his wife’s continued nakedness. :P She teaches him a few words in Old Valyrian and asks if he’d ever accompany her to Volantis. She knows her mother would want to meet him…and her grandchild. :O Takes Robb a little bit of time to catch on to that last part. Talisa is preggers! They go back to passionately embracing.
Arya and…the Hound??
Arya’s keeping her distance from Beric, Thoros and the others, even if that means she doesn’t get to sit by the fire. They claim that they didn’t want to give up Gendry, but they believe in their god. Arya scoffs—the only god she believes in is death. They’re interrupted by Anguy who returns with news of a nearby Lannister raiding party. The BWB gets up in arms—time to do some looting! Arya is shocked—what about taking her to Riverrun? Beric promises that they’ll do it after, but they need to take this opportunity. Arya calls him a liar, and says she hopes the Lannisters kill them all, before she darts out the door. She makes good headway, evading the men who come after them, but lo and behold, the Hound is waiting for her in the thicket! :O He puts his hand over her mouth and drags her away.
Jaime and Brienne
Jaime comes to visit Brienne in the room where she’s being kept, shortly before he’s about to leave for King’s Landing. He lets her know that Roose is heading to Edmure’s wedding and that she’ll be left here…with Locke, she finishes. He feels bad about the whole situation, and wants to know what he can do. She reminds him of the reason they set out in the first place—to save the Stark girls. Jaime promises to uphold that oath. Outside, later, Qyburn helps him on his horse. And then he shares an iconic parting line with Roose—tell Robb that he’s sorry he couldn’t make it to the wedding. “The Lannisters send their regards.”
On the road to King’s Landing, Qyburn, whose come to see if maybe he can find a better job option, tends to Jaime’s hand. The Kingslayer presses the maester on why he doesn’t have a chain—he’s not technically a maester, actually, because he’s not in good favor. Qyburn blames this on “curiosity”—he conducts experiments that are seen as uncouth (like dragging the sickly poor from the workhouses, Jaime suggests,) for medical experimentation. Their conversation shifts to Brienne—Qyburn knows that Brienne’s father offered a decent reward, but Locke won’t take it, in part because of Jaime’s lie about the sapphires. He’s expecting Brienne to be “entertainment” tonight, and beyond that, these war-weary men won’t give much of a care. Jaime then convinces his guard to turn back to Harrenhal, using his hand (“I’ll tell my father it was you”) as an excuse.
At Harrenhal, they’ve set Brienne up against a bear! They’re singing “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” and watching a bloodied Brienne try to stay alive in a pit. Jaime comes in to stop it—again, Locke isn’t interested in money as much as he is in humiliating others. So Jaime jumps in himself, and with such an important person in the pit, his guards now shoot the bear and help the two of them out. Jaime puts his life on the line for Brienne—either kill me or let us both go—so Locke has no choice. Well, at least Jaime wins one victory against the man. :P
Thoughts
Well, let’s just start with the bad, the “bride of Frankenstein” porno in the middle of everything. I think this might even be worse than Pod the Sex God, cos it’s meant to be serious, as if being slavish yet seemingly contented sex nymphs to a psychopath is normal female behavior. >.< I think this might earn my “dipshit” award for the producers this season. I mean, what were you even trying to do, take attention away from Theon’s (canon-probable) castrating? Cos yeah, I couldn’t get past the porno.
The rest of the sexual content I rather liked! Kudos to Tormund for being into female pleasure. :P As for Robb/Talisa, we got to see sex that was loving AND featured male nudity alongside female nudity; felt like I was watching the wrong show. The rest of Robb/Talisa provided some contention among fans. In canon, Robb’s wife is a Lannister bannerman and there’s some spying afoot…is that what Talisa is really up to with this letter to her “mother”? Also, canon Jeyne doesn’t get pregnant (her mother is making sure of that,) so is Talisa lying? Will have to wait and see!
I’m pissed about Catelyn, though. Her advice is sound, even if her uncle decides to transfer some of his dickishness from Edmure over to her. (The Blackfish and Talisa/Jeyne aren’t even supposed to be there!) But mostly I’m disappointed that Catelyn, unlike in canon, is given nothing else to do. She’s just a side character to be ignored, not a strong woman in her own right. *angry sigh* This is around the time in the novel when she and Robb argue over his decision (arguably treasonous, given that Jon is sworn to the Night’s Watch) to name is half-brother has his heir. They also find out about, and grieve, Sansa’s marriage together.
Cat’s younger children fare much better. I’m struck, now, by the similarities between Arya and Bran and this whole “death” thing, though their situations are much different. Arya’s responding pessimistically to the lack of good options she sees around men. It’s a little more on the nose than in the novels (though it’s foreshadowing AND it ties in nicely with her adaptation lessons with Syrio.) This is also around the time that she escapes the BWB. I’m a little “meh” about her getting out of the cave so easily, but since the Hound catches her almost immediately, guess I can’t complain much.
Bran’s situation is more indicative of one of the themes of the story as a whole. The White Walkers represent the lack of human life, in other words, death. Osha’s story doesn’t happen in canon—she’s not with Bran and the Reeds at the time—but it seems true to the spirit of the White Walkers. Bran, at this point in the novels, is convinced that he has to find the three-eyed crow, and this scene should make us think what the cost of that is. Will he ever be reunited with his family?
The possibility seems slim for Sansa,too. :/ And of all of the “dumb Sansa” scenes from season three, this one rings most true to me. Although she never meets with Margaery like this in canon, she does scold herself for believing that her Highgarden fantasy could come true. Much of the rest of the scene is filler, considering that in the adaptation she has some time to prepare for the marriage. And again, I don’t (and it seems Marg doesn’t) fault Sansa for not being sexually aware. She’s a relatively sheltered girl, and it’s not like she can log onto google.ws to answer her questions. :P Information flow is relatively limited. What was important to me was Sansa saying her main reason for not wanting to marry Tyrion is because he’s a Lannister. Also, she feels for Marg having to marry Joffrey. Finding Tyrion physically unattractive is secondary (and in the books, just saying, he’s no Peter Dinklage. :P)
Ygritte is also battling some perceptions in her love life. These scenes can be a little confusing, and even hypocritical. I mean, last episode she was telling Jon that she knew he was still loyal to the NW (never happened in canon) but in this one, she’s all gung ho about saying they fight for the same side. I dunno. Partially, I think I can write it down to her giving into fantasies about Jon changing allegiances, though I suppose that’s a bit of a stretch. I think a broader issue doesn’t have to do with Mance vs NW but Jon as a Westerosi vs Ygritte as a wildling. Orell kind of hints at this with both of them—first he tells Jon that although our emo boy is sulking about the rope-cutting incident, Ygritte has moved on because she understands wildling norms. Then he mocks Ygritte for wanting Jon’s castles and prettiness whereas he calls her wildling terms like “fierce” and “strong.” A lot of Jon and Ygritte’s flirting centers around Ygritte’s lack of understanding of Westeros—building structures and fainting and girls in silk dresses. It’s definitely getting more interesting because Jon IS falling for her. Jon as a character seems to be on a journey to more complexity.
Although one thing I arch my eyebrows at is his insistence that the wildlings can’t win this fight. He doesn’t know all of the ins and outs of the War of Five Kings, but he knows that Robb is waging a war in the south. And he certainly knows that most of the NW raiders are north of the Wall. Is it arrogance, or perhaps concern for a loved one that makes him so sure that Ygritte and the wildlings will fail? Not sure. And it’s canon, lol, just strikes me as…illogical. Maybe I should take into account the small number of wildlings, and what he says about their lack of cohesiveness. And I should zip my lips before giving anything away. :P
Other characters…I feel like this is the point in Dany’s story where some fans begin to lose patience with her. Abolition is well and good, but what happened to the story we’re waiting for when she gets to Westeros? :P I’m more ok with this. Definitely a fan of Dany’s motives. And I appreciate her growing megalomania (though in the book she does give back the gold,) and self-assured banter. It’s also obvious that the dragons are what makes her formidable (and sheesh, that CGI) but that can be said of anyone else and the size of his army. It’s all kinda plot-oriented for Dany right now, but there’s still some interesting insights into her character.
I’m going to go ahead and give my props to Joffrey. :O Because the boy is a monster, no denying that, but he DOES have a point about Daenerys (he doesn’t in the novels, but he’s older here, so). At least he’s not a complete idiot (although ironically, his much wiser grandfather is more foolish to ignore the Targaryen girl.) Meanwhile, Robert’s bastard son learns his identity. This doesn’t happen in the novels, but since Gendry’s obviously going to have a bigger role on the show, it’s a nice development. It’s more canonical for Mel to out herself as a former slave, and it certainly adds to her character dimension. (And finally, in terms of CGI, I loooove those sunken ships.)
When it comes to most altered opinion about the Sansa/Tyrion wedding, that’ll have to be Shae. In the novels, she seems mostly smitten by the material gifts Tyrion gives her. She’s not really in “competition” with Sansa the way she is in the adaptation. Adaptation Shae certainly has more of a desire for a real relationship, and her words about her place in Tyrion’s life as his whore are very biting (and truthful). Can really feel for her, and for all of those people who run afoul of social norms in Westeros.
Tyrion might actually have gained a flaw this episode—he kinda/sorta admits to being sexually attracted to Sansa! :O Otherwise, he’s less conflicted about the marriage in canon. He’s not in love with the idea, but he doesn’t need Bronn to talk him through the highlights. On the show, Tyrion and Bronn must bond from time to time. :P
But if any Lannister sibling was whitewashed this ep, I suppose it was Jaime. Jaime, who left Brienne much easier in the novel (was crass with her, in fact,) and required a dream to send him back. Since the show is going easy on prophecies, it only makes sense that they’d build Jaime up as being more genuinely concerned about her, especially after the tone of the bath scene. And since we’ve already had plenty of scenes of him in earlier seasons being an ass, it’s not like he’s completely redeemed (even if he does bring up saving the population of King’s Landing. :P I’m not forgetting Bran, mister!) Meanwhile, Qyburn’s admissions are true to canon. (And a shoutout to Brienne and her devotion to honor. You can see the type of effect she’s having on Jaime.)
When it comes down to it, I’m impressed with what the GoT crew (and Nickolaj and Gwendoline) could do with a trained bear! (Also that those scenes were filmed in California while the rest of Harrenhal is in Ireland. :P) Maybe some fans couldn’t suspend their disbelief enough about Brienne’s life being in danger, but I think that the scene accomplished what it was supposed to. So kudos.
___
Summary
The North
Lots of action in what I call “the North” (of Westeros, that is,) this episode, because Jon and company have breached the Wall! No checking in with Sam and Gilly this week, alas.
Theon and The Boy
Let’s just start here, because UGH. Get it over with. Theon wakes up, girls are cleaning and touching him, he’s confused, wants help, they tease him, they start to fuck him, the Boy comes in with his horn and wrecks the party, the girls get off and he has his men cut off Theon’s cock. NEXT.
Jon and Ygritte
Ygritte teases Jon about Westerosi fighting, you know with the banners and the drums on the paved roads to alert the enemy that you’re coming. Jon points out that Mance’s “biggest fire that the north has ever seen” isn’t much different, to which she responds that he knows nothing. Orell takes her place and remarks that Jon really does know nothing. He can’t expect to hold onto Ygritte, either, because they come from different worlds. See, Ygritte realizes that people do what they have to in certain situations, then they move on. That’s why she’s moved past Orell cutting her off the wall, yet Jon hasn’t. His ethics are different.
Tormund later gives Jon what seems to be very sound sex advice (don’t just fuck her like you’re a grunting dog, make sure she’s into it!) Meanwhile, Orell propositions Ygritte. He’s not a pretty boy like Jon. He’s one of her own and he’d treat her right—call her fierce and strong, very wildling-esque traits. She seems a little taken aback by his pronouncement, but he hadn’t been nice to her before and she says she loves Jon. Only because you don’t know what he is yet, Orell swears.
After Jon and Ygritte kill a deer for food, they flirt a little more as Ygritte is very taken with a windmill—the largest building she’s ever seen. Jon promises her she’d “swoon” if she saw Winterfell, which she doesn’t understand. Girls “swoon” or “faint”? She imagines her life in silk dresses and he imagines taking them off her. :P But the conversation takes a more serious turn when Ygritte imagines the wildlings taking back their lands in the north. Jon points out that the wildlings have tried six times in the past and have never succeeded. He doesn’t want her to die. Ygritte reminds him that it’s “us” now, and that they should try living before they die. Time for some lip action. :P
Bran and Osha
I should really include everyone. :P Like how when Osha complained that the Reeds never helped with any of the work (erecting a new tent, for example,) Hodor responded “Hodor.” :P Instead, Jojen and Meera were sitting with Bran, discussing “black magic,” or rather, Bran’s visions with the three-eyed raven. Jojen makes the rather startling (to Osha) announcement that they’re no longer going to the Wall where Jon isn’t even around—they’re going to find said raven. Osha gets very upset, putting her foot down. Bran tries to explain that instead of his legs he has these visions—he has to see them through. Osha refuses—she’s not going north of the Wall. None of them know what’s out there—but she does. She recounts a life from before—where she had a lover who was taken by the White Walkers. He returned as a wight who nearly took her life before she was able to escape and burn their tent down with him inside. It was then that she realized that the North was no longer a place for men. She’ll take the Stark boys to the Wall but no further. The kids at least have the decency to be stunned into silence by this story.
Yunkai
Daenerys and co are in a new location! They arrive at the city of Yunkai, which is pretty well fortified. And when it comes to getting back to Westeros…eh, they don’t need to do any conquering here. However, the city is filled with slaves, so Dany’s mind is made up. She sends Grey Worm to the gates to offer terms of surrender.
Later, drums lead a barge with a Yunkai emissary to Dany’s tent. She’s sitting with her dragons, these big and athletic beasts by her side. Makes a huge impression. Dany’s name has also grown, as presented by Missandei—now she’s no longer just the rightful queen of Westeros and the Mother of Dragons, but also “the breaker of chains.” Anywho. The emissary offers her shitload of gold—and ships! Leave our old and venerable city alone; go back to Westeros where you belong! Dany offers him a gift as well—“your life.” As in, give up your slaves, and pay them well for their labors, and you can keep it. The emissary threatens her with Yunkai’s “powerful friends;” maybe they’ll even make her into a slave once the fighting’s done. Dany responds by throwing her dragons some meat, which they swoop around for—badass. :P Yeah, she’s not frightened. Also, with the help of Drogon, she’s keeping the gold. She’ll use it well. The emissary would be wise to do the same with his gift. Teehee. He leaves in a huff. Dany is a little concerned about these “good friends” he was talking about, and tells Jorah to look into it.
King’s Landing
Sansa is recounting her fantasies to Margaery concerning King’s Landing…how, growing up, she always wanted to come to the capital and see all of its beauty. She’s stupid, she sniffs, and she never learns from her past mistakes. Marg takes her by the hand, gives her a rose and proclaims that she doesn’t want to see her unhappy. She might have thrived at Highgarden, but that dream is over now. Now she has to make the best of her circumstances. Sansa admits that her betrothed a Lannister, he has tried to be kind. Margaery points out that her son, through Tyrion, might be lord of both Casterly Rock and the North, and that sons learn from their mothers. Sansa can’t imagine sex with her new husband, and Marg says it’s a shame that women get to experiment so little. But she hears Tyrion is experienced, and “pleasing us takes practice.” Sansa asks her if her mother taught her all of this, to which Marg smiles amusedly and says yes.
Tyrion is having a somewhat similar conversation with Bronn. He protests that she’s a child, but Bronn makes him admit that he’s had women not too much older. …and he might want to fuck her. :O Though it’s an “evil notion.” But let’s talk logistics here, says Bronn—if you give Sansa a son, you get a kingdom AND two women. Two women to hate me and a kingdom to join them, Tyrion gripes. Bronn tells him to give up on making everyone love you—just gets you dead faster—and Shae should understand.
Later, Tyrion gives Shae a golden necklace, which she calls “chains.” He suggests that maybe she could buy passage away from here with it, but she’s only really interested in passage for the two of them. Tyrion refuses—he’s a Lannister, and he can’t be anything else. So Shae’s other option, rather than to leave, is to stay here , cleaning Sansa’s chamberpot and “licking your cock when you’re bored.” Tyrion promises her a home, servants, protection for any children they might have. But why would Shae want children who could never know their father, whom Tywin would kill if he found out? She’s not feeling the love right now. :/ She says: “I’m your whore. And when you get tired of fucking me, I will be nothing.”
Elsewhere in the Red Keep, Joffrey calls Grandpa Tywin to his throne room. He’s a bit put off about not getting any reports on goings on, to which Tywin responds, you can come to the small council meetings, you know. And walk all those stairs to your tower? Joff scoffs. Well, what about someone to carry you? :P Oh, grandpa. Turns out the king is mostly concerned about these reports of Daenerys and her dragons, which Tywin deftly poo poos. Not a threat. Stop telling us to be concerned; people with more knowledge than you say it’s not a big deal. With that bit of counseling over, Grandpa leaves the king.
Speaking of the goings ons of rival kings not so far from home, Melissandre leads Gendry through the wreckage of Blackwater Bay. Gendry isn’t pleased to be so near the place he ran from, but they’re mostly here to sightsee “his father’s house.” Takes Mel a little time to get to it, especially with Gendry insisting that he’s nothing more than lowborn, but he’s the bastard son of King Bob. :O And there’s power in a king’s blood…same thing she told Stannis…
The Riverlands
Robb and Catelyn
Robb, Catelyn, Talisa, the Blackfish, Edmure and most everyone are on their way to the Twins for the upcoming wedding. Autumn snows have delayed them, which Cat tries to warn against—any delays are a slight to Walder Frey, and let’s remember it’s Robb he wanted, not Edmure. He won’t be placated. Her uncle talks over her and they all break for the night. Catelyn stops, briefly, by the door to watch her son and daughter-in-law start to smooch. Later, they finish up some sexy times before Robb gets up to work on war stuff and Talisa starts a letter to her mother. Robb’s a bit distracted by his wife’s continued nakedness. :P She teaches him a few words in Old Valyrian and asks if he’d ever accompany her to Volantis. She knows her mother would want to meet him…and her grandchild. :O Takes Robb a little bit of time to catch on to that last part. Talisa is preggers! They go back to passionately embracing.
Arya and…the Hound??
Arya’s keeping her distance from Beric, Thoros and the others, even if that means she doesn’t get to sit by the fire. They claim that they didn’t want to give up Gendry, but they believe in their god. Arya scoffs—the only god she believes in is death. They’re interrupted by Anguy who returns with news of a nearby Lannister raiding party. The BWB gets up in arms—time to do some looting! Arya is shocked—what about taking her to Riverrun? Beric promises that they’ll do it after, but they need to take this opportunity. Arya calls him a liar, and says she hopes the Lannisters kill them all, before she darts out the door. She makes good headway, evading the men who come after them, but lo and behold, the Hound is waiting for her in the thicket! :O He puts his hand over her mouth and drags her away.
Jaime and Brienne
Jaime comes to visit Brienne in the room where she’s being kept, shortly before he’s about to leave for King’s Landing. He lets her know that Roose is heading to Edmure’s wedding and that she’ll be left here…with Locke, she finishes. He feels bad about the whole situation, and wants to know what he can do. She reminds him of the reason they set out in the first place—to save the Stark girls. Jaime promises to uphold that oath. Outside, later, Qyburn helps him on his horse. And then he shares an iconic parting line with Roose—tell Robb that he’s sorry he couldn’t make it to the wedding. “The Lannisters send their regards.”
On the road to King’s Landing, Qyburn, whose come to see if maybe he can find a better job option, tends to Jaime’s hand. The Kingslayer presses the maester on why he doesn’t have a chain—he’s not technically a maester, actually, because he’s not in good favor. Qyburn blames this on “curiosity”—he conducts experiments that are seen as uncouth (like dragging the sickly poor from the workhouses, Jaime suggests,) for medical experimentation. Their conversation shifts to Brienne—Qyburn knows that Brienne’s father offered a decent reward, but Locke won’t take it, in part because of Jaime’s lie about the sapphires. He’s expecting Brienne to be “entertainment” tonight, and beyond that, these war-weary men won’t give much of a care. Jaime then convinces his guard to turn back to Harrenhal, using his hand (“I’ll tell my father it was you”) as an excuse.
At Harrenhal, they’ve set Brienne up against a bear! They’re singing “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” and watching a bloodied Brienne try to stay alive in a pit. Jaime comes in to stop it—again, Locke isn’t interested in money as much as he is in humiliating others. So Jaime jumps in himself, and with such an important person in the pit, his guards now shoot the bear and help the two of them out. Jaime puts his life on the line for Brienne—either kill me or let us both go—so Locke has no choice. Well, at least Jaime wins one victory against the man. :P
Thoughts
Well, let’s just start with the bad, the “bride of Frankenstein” porno in the middle of everything. I think this might even be worse than Pod the Sex God, cos it’s meant to be serious, as if being slavish yet seemingly contented sex nymphs to a psychopath is normal female behavior. >.< I think this might earn my “dipshit” award for the producers this season. I mean, what were you even trying to do, take attention away from Theon’s (canon-probable) castrating? Cos yeah, I couldn’t get past the porno.
The rest of the sexual content I rather liked! Kudos to Tormund for being into female pleasure. :P As for Robb/Talisa, we got to see sex that was loving AND featured male nudity alongside female nudity; felt like I was watching the wrong show. The rest of Robb/Talisa provided some contention among fans. In canon, Robb’s wife is a Lannister bannerman and there’s some spying afoot…is that what Talisa is really up to with this letter to her “mother”? Also, canon Jeyne doesn’t get pregnant (her mother is making sure of that,) so is Talisa lying? Will have to wait and see!
I’m pissed about Catelyn, though. Her advice is sound, even if her uncle decides to transfer some of his dickishness from Edmure over to her. (The Blackfish and Talisa/Jeyne aren’t even supposed to be there!) But mostly I’m disappointed that Catelyn, unlike in canon, is given nothing else to do. She’s just a side character to be ignored, not a strong woman in her own right. *angry sigh* This is around the time in the novel when she and Robb argue over his decision (arguably treasonous, given that Jon is sworn to the Night’s Watch) to name is half-brother has his heir. They also find out about, and grieve, Sansa’s marriage together.
Cat’s younger children fare much better. I’m struck, now, by the similarities between Arya and Bran and this whole “death” thing, though their situations are much different. Arya’s responding pessimistically to the lack of good options she sees around men. It’s a little more on the nose than in the novels (though it’s foreshadowing AND it ties in nicely with her adaptation lessons with Syrio.) This is also around the time that she escapes the BWB. I’m a little “meh” about her getting out of the cave so easily, but since the Hound catches her almost immediately, guess I can’t complain much.
Bran’s situation is more indicative of one of the themes of the story as a whole. The White Walkers represent the lack of human life, in other words, death. Osha’s story doesn’t happen in canon—she’s not with Bran and the Reeds at the time—but it seems true to the spirit of the White Walkers. Bran, at this point in the novels, is convinced that he has to find the three-eyed crow, and this scene should make us think what the cost of that is. Will he ever be reunited with his family?
The possibility seems slim for Sansa,too. :/ And of all of the “dumb Sansa” scenes from season three, this one rings most true to me. Although she never meets with Margaery like this in canon, she does scold herself for believing that her Highgarden fantasy could come true. Much of the rest of the scene is filler, considering that in the adaptation she has some time to prepare for the marriage. And again, I don’t (and it seems Marg doesn’t) fault Sansa for not being sexually aware. She’s a relatively sheltered girl, and it’s not like she can log onto google.ws to answer her questions. :P Information flow is relatively limited. What was important to me was Sansa saying her main reason for not wanting to marry Tyrion is because he’s a Lannister. Also, she feels for Marg having to marry Joffrey. Finding Tyrion physically unattractive is secondary (and in the books, just saying, he’s no Peter Dinklage. :P)
Ygritte is also battling some perceptions in her love life. These scenes can be a little confusing, and even hypocritical. I mean, last episode she was telling Jon that she knew he was still loyal to the NW (never happened in canon) but in this one, she’s all gung ho about saying they fight for the same side. I dunno. Partially, I think I can write it down to her giving into fantasies about Jon changing allegiances, though I suppose that’s a bit of a stretch. I think a broader issue doesn’t have to do with Mance vs NW but Jon as a Westerosi vs Ygritte as a wildling. Orell kind of hints at this with both of them—first he tells Jon that although our emo boy is sulking about the rope-cutting incident, Ygritte has moved on because she understands wildling norms. Then he mocks Ygritte for wanting Jon’s castles and prettiness whereas he calls her wildling terms like “fierce” and “strong.” A lot of Jon and Ygritte’s flirting centers around Ygritte’s lack of understanding of Westeros—building structures and fainting and girls in silk dresses. It’s definitely getting more interesting because Jon IS falling for her. Jon as a character seems to be on a journey to more complexity.
Although one thing I arch my eyebrows at is his insistence that the wildlings can’t win this fight. He doesn’t know all of the ins and outs of the War of Five Kings, but he knows that Robb is waging a war in the south. And he certainly knows that most of the NW raiders are north of the Wall. Is it arrogance, or perhaps concern for a loved one that makes him so sure that Ygritte and the wildlings will fail? Not sure. And it’s canon, lol, just strikes me as…illogical. Maybe I should take into account the small number of wildlings, and what he says about their lack of cohesiveness. And I should zip my lips before giving anything away. :P
Other characters…I feel like this is the point in Dany’s story where some fans begin to lose patience with her. Abolition is well and good, but what happened to the story we’re waiting for when she gets to Westeros? :P I’m more ok with this. Definitely a fan of Dany’s motives. And I appreciate her growing megalomania (though in the book she does give back the gold,) and self-assured banter. It’s also obvious that the dragons are what makes her formidable (and sheesh, that CGI) but that can be said of anyone else and the size of his army. It’s all kinda plot-oriented for Dany right now, but there’s still some interesting insights into her character.
I’m going to go ahead and give my props to Joffrey. :O Because the boy is a monster, no denying that, but he DOES have a point about Daenerys (he doesn’t in the novels, but he’s older here, so). At least he’s not a complete idiot (although ironically, his much wiser grandfather is more foolish to ignore the Targaryen girl.) Meanwhile, Robert’s bastard son learns his identity. This doesn’t happen in the novels, but since Gendry’s obviously going to have a bigger role on the show, it’s a nice development. It’s more canonical for Mel to out herself as a former slave, and it certainly adds to her character dimension. (And finally, in terms of CGI, I loooove those sunken ships.)
When it comes to most altered opinion about the Sansa/Tyrion wedding, that’ll have to be Shae. In the novels, she seems mostly smitten by the material gifts Tyrion gives her. She’s not really in “competition” with Sansa the way she is in the adaptation. Adaptation Shae certainly has more of a desire for a real relationship, and her words about her place in Tyrion’s life as his whore are very biting (and truthful). Can really feel for her, and for all of those people who run afoul of social norms in Westeros.
Tyrion might actually have gained a flaw this episode—he kinda/sorta admits to being sexually attracted to Sansa! :O Otherwise, he’s less conflicted about the marriage in canon. He’s not in love with the idea, but he doesn’t need Bronn to talk him through the highlights. On the show, Tyrion and Bronn must bond from time to time. :P
But if any Lannister sibling was whitewashed this ep, I suppose it was Jaime. Jaime, who left Brienne much easier in the novel (was crass with her, in fact,) and required a dream to send him back. Since the show is going easy on prophecies, it only makes sense that they’d build Jaime up as being more genuinely concerned about her, especially after the tone of the bath scene. And since we’ve already had plenty of scenes of him in earlier seasons being an ass, it’s not like he’s completely redeemed (even if he does bring up saving the population of King’s Landing. :P I’m not forgetting Bran, mister!) Meanwhile, Qyburn’s admissions are true to canon. (And a shoutout to Brienne and her devotion to honor. You can see the type of effect she’s having on Jaime.)
When it comes down to it, I’m impressed with what the GoT crew (and Nickolaj and Gwendoline) could do with a trained bear! (Also that those scenes were filmed in California while the rest of Harrenhal is in Ireland. :P) Maybe some fans couldn’t suspend their disbelief enough about Brienne’s life being in danger, but I think that the scene accomplished what it was supposed to. So kudos.
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