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scifi_rewatchDefinitely the middle part of a trilogy, and from what I’ve read recently it has the most “filler.” This was meant to be a two-parter, but they ultimately had too much material, so. This might account for some of John’s more repetitive gripes about his situation, and him and Aeryn continuing to dance around the same relationship drama. And yet there’s some intriguing stuff in here, too—guest characters who get fleshed out, plots and counterplots, etc.
Also an unusually high concentration of “Star Wars” references, from a series that nevertheless does do a lot of SW references on the whole. Hee. And Jonathan Hardy in his one and only non-Rygel role! Fun times.
Episode summary is here, courtesy of the John and Aeryn Fansite.
I’ll start with the subplot, just to get it out of the way. We find out that the mist calling Moya in comes from her deities, Hardy’s Kahaynu. He finds our Leviathan in good health, but the fact that she can birth gun ships means, basically, that she’s an abomination and has to be decommissioned. Zhaan and Kahaynu briefly touch upon philosophical concepts, a la how every culture should value life, and Kahaynu’s capriciousness. (It should be noted that not only is he killing Moya, but he refuses to offer Zhaan and Pilot a route to safety. He refuses to talk to Pilot at all, which always pissed me off—Pilots live in symbiosis with Leviathans, yet they’re too lowly for the Builders to talk to? Sounds like they’re modeled after the Greco-Roman gods. :P) It’s always nice hearing from Moya directly, and I enjoyed the foggy atmosphere, and particularly Virginia Hey’s grief acting.
On the Royal Planet, we find out that ditzy Jenavian Chato is actually a PK undercover spy who will kill Clavor if he (and by extension his Scarran allies) assume the throne. She assumes that John is also a peacekeeper on a mission, which our human is thankfully able to cover up with “classified.” (He also keeps her secret when Tyno questions him later—smart move. Don’t need more enemies, John.) More plots abound—Cargn is willing to utilize any fatal means possible to kill John, even if it also annihilates Katralla, a line that Clavor himself isn’t too keen to cross. (I’ll take my brother/sister moments where I can. :P) ro-NA saves the royal couple from the Obi-Wan poison gas ball, but we later learn that her motives are less than altruistic; she’s working for Scorpius, to deliver John to him. And Rygel and Novia scheme about secret ways to keep assassination-prone John secretly safe—always a pleasure to watch Rygel play to his strengths, especially when they’re not completely selfish and harmful.
The royal family could be kind of funny. After Tyno explains that they abhor personal violence, Katralla wallops John a good one for attacking Clavor. :P (I really love how Katralla is fleshed out—she struggles with her brothers actions, her own desires, and she’s even allowed to have a little bit of a relationship with John.) It’s always also fun to see two female characters (Katralla and Jenavian in this case) play beauty and passive aggressive politics in front of the mirror, only to have Aeryn storm in and slam their heads into the glass with direct threats. :P Clavor remains insipid and fun to watch. Meanwhile, eager cousin, Dregon, finally gets the hint when Aeryn disses him, but he’s more than thrilled at the end of the episode when she uses him as the rebound. Might be fun to see Aeryn interact with the Ladies Man, hee. Finally, I still love how Novia holds herself—she truly seems to lord over everyone else, Scorpius, Rygel, etc. Even if she’s a bit in denial about her son, but honestly, who doesn’t have a little bit of a family blindside? (Well, and also with ro-NA.) It’s a good flaw.
But no one can really out-act Ben when he’s playing craaaaaazy John. I gotta admit, it’s a unique (speaking of Scorpius’s John-obsession) and character-true way for our human to escape his situation with Braca and ro-NA. (Am thrilled that Braca is starting to take more of a recurring guest role; makes the over-all story more consistent, plus David Franklin is awesome. :P And so is Francesca in this role with her high-pitched, materialistic excitement and greed. I kinda felt bad when John electrocuted her.) All that being said, our human being able to survive space without any sort of suit is where I sorta draw the line. Just: no. There had to be another way…while, of course, keeping the Scorpius-voice in his head. :D File that away, newbies!
Other weaknesses this ep weren’t quite as weak, because even though John-in-giving-up-Earth and John/Aeryn shipper angst basically didn’t change from the last ep, Ben and Claudia are just so damn good. I really bought the emotion. Also, Anthony is good—reprising the supportive friend routine, and reminding us of his fantastic sex with Chiana. :P And Chi gets her bravery on when trying to confront Cargn and Clavor! Doesn’t really go anywhere (in fact it alerts Cargn to some “insider knowledge,”) but I love Gigi’s jumpy, nervous performance when Chiana, as usual, gets waaaay too deep into bad situations. (I also loved her “girl talk” advice to Aeryn. We don’t really get to see our leading ladies attempt to reach out to each other much, so it’s always a treat.)
Shoutout to the “Star Wars” references I missed: John and Chiana’s goodbyes; “I love you,” “I know,” and John’s living statue, which makes Han in carbonite look like a cake walk. :P Another shoutout—I just loved the matriarchal tint of the wedding. It was obvious that Katralla was to be the main ruler, and all of their vows had to do with tying the marriage into upholding the peace and protecting the people. Still not exactly a marriage by choice, but I bought into the whole valor of duty.
Favorite Crichtonism: *while aiming Braca’s gun at his hand* My sex life! Kill my sex life!
Favorite Quotes:
*John almost loses his cover with Jenavian*
Jenavian: I admire your dedication. Wouldn't let them make me a statue for 80 cycles.
John: Interesting coincidence, I was just having the same thought.
Jenavian: Are you wavering?
John: And if I am?
Jenavian: Would you hesitate to kill me if I jeopardized the mission?
John: Jenavian, right? Thanks. *walks away*
*to ro-NA, after threatening Clavor*
John: He needs a bath and a hug.
*Chiana and Tyno react to John’s assault*
Tyno: You cannot assault a member of the ruling house!
John: Well he was trying to have me killed.
Chiana: You bitch-slapped the tralk!
*Katralla and John’s first fight*
Katralla: You humiliated me. *slap*
John: That's enough. OK? You have made your point.
Katralla: I don't think I have. Clavor went to my mother and detailed your obnoxious behavior.
John: My obnoxious behavior?
Katralla: Yes! My brother poisoned my DNA, I know - I am NOT a fool - but he would never kill anyone!
John: Well a Scarran might, they are playmates, you know that?
Katralla: Look - If you don't want to marry me - just say so.
John: I already said so. Lady, we have been over this ground with a backhoe. It works for both of us - It saves my life, it saves your ass. *slap*
John: Okay. I did deserve that.
*Zhaan calls Kahaynu out*
Kahaynu: Pilots do not speak to Kahaynu.
Zhaan: A capricious deity.
*Chiana and Aeryn have more “girl talk”*
Chiana: Have you even told him how you feel?
Aeryn: He knows what he needs to know.
Chiana: Look Aeryn, all men are stupid, ok? Men - stupid. If you want them to know something, you gotta to tell them.
*Aeryn delivers the best put-down*
Dregon: I simply offer myself as a diversion. Besides, you never know, we could be extremely compatible. *offers her DNA serum*
Aeryn: *throws it in lake* Now don't feel bad. It's not you - it's me. I don't like you.
*John’s way of assessing the danger of the poison-gas machine*
John: Obi-Wan had one... except his was a lot smaller.
*Novia and Rygel co-conspire*
Novia: If Crichton leaves, he will flee.
Rygel: Not - if you control the situation. Stash him somewhere. Moya's gone. He's got no where to go. At least give yourself time to identify the conspirators other than your son.
Novia: Are you familiar with the Jakensh race?
Rygel: The little green creature who saved Crichton and your daughter.
Novia: Precisely. Her Elders Counsel sent a ship filled with wedding gifts. It orbits unattended, unnoticed.
Rygel: Excellent thinking. Do you employ a detail of guards above treason?
Novia: I shall send my very own Paladins.
Rygel: I propose we tell no one. Not my shipmates, or your daughter. Let them all think that Crichton's disappeared.
Novia: Throw them off the scent. Encourage those who are intent on assassination to grow careless.
*Zhaan and Kahaynu argue philosophy, and our Delvian speaks to Moya directly*
Kahaynu: How egocentric. As if your way is were the only way.
Zhaan: I am a priest. I have long ago come to terms with the idea that alien life practices alien ritual. But all life cherishes life!
Kahaynu: Moya can produce gunships. Moya must be decommissioned. She trusts my suggestion to guide her.
Zhaan: You will never convince me that Moya is doing this willingly.
Kahaynu: Then let her do it.
Moya: Moyaaah... fulfilled...
Zhaan: Moya...
Moya: Moyaaah... go... willing. Willing... Yesss... Peeeaccce...
*ro-NA hints at her true colors*
ro-NA: Our culture frowns on acquisition. We live to serve, not to possess.
John: So you don't own your own stuff?
ro-NA: No. To what end does possessory wealth serve?
John: Well - good question. Before I left Earth I had a lot of things that were very important to me.
ro-NA: No more?
John: I live in a converted cell. I don't have a VCR, no remote control... Damn - no Charlie Parker albums. And I do miss my '62 T-bird. But - you discover you need very little.
ro-NA: And do you miss not having these things?
John: Not really. Priorities change.
ro-NA: I often wonder what I would do with wealth!
John: Well I tell you what - if there's ever anything I can do to help you find it - you let me know.
ro-NA: I shall remember those words Highness.
John: It's John.
ro-NA: Yeeesss Highness yes...
*Katralla and Jenavian play passive-aggressive, Aeryn plays aggressive-aggressive*
Jenavian: Poor Katralla. So unaware of what it takes.
Katralla: To be a slut, Jenavian?
Jenavian: To keep a man. I heard yours ran off rather than marry you.
Katralla: Somebody tried to kill him. Probably my brother. Your fiancé. What does that say about you?
Jenavian: Honestly? That I pick winners.
Katralla: You disgust me.
Aeryn: *after smashing their faces into the mirror* Hello ladies. I hope I'm not disturbing. Now listen to me closely so that there's no misunderstanding. I don't know what game's being played on this little planet of yours, and I don't really care. What I care about is that a good friend of mine is not hurt - in any sense of the word. And if he is, I will personally take revenge on both of your overly made up faces.
*Chiana attempts to threaten, but instead gives up her cards*
Chiana: I'm a Nebari. You may have heard of us.
Cargn: Leave this room now chiiild.
Chiana: Well you also may also have heard how we can defeat full Command Carriers. Not to mention, uh, mind cleansing.
Cargn: We are both impressed and daunted by your means Nebari. Continue.
Chiana: So if anything happens to John Crichton - Expect uh - Expect retribution. Yeah. Retribution. Frell...
Clavor: What the hezmana was that all about?
Cargn: They don't know where he is either. You are going to rule.
*John uses Scorpius’s words to propel him into crazytown*
John: Why don't you leave me alone Scorpy?
Scorpius: Because the wormhole technology locked in your brain makes you, to my knowledge, unique in the galaxy.
John: Unique.
Scorpius: And unique, is always valuable. Yes.
John: Unique. Unique...
*poor Braca can’t get a hold over crazy!John*
Braca: Sit down or I'll shoot your limbs off one at a time.
John: Nononono - see - Human. Sebacean. Human. Sebacean - we're different - one wound - I bleed out! *mimics Scorpous* Oh! Officer Braca! What the frell happened? Hm? Hm? Hm? Hm? Fine! Let's do it then! LET'S DO THIS THING! Come on! Shoot me! Right here! Right here! Come on! Oh, nonono - not the brain, he wants the brain. The heart! Here! The heart. You should shoot me in the heart! Uuuhhh - kinda - yer left, right - Oh yeah! My right your left! My left your right! Here! John Wayne Bobbit! Vienna Boys Choir! OoOOoohH-waAaAAaaHhHh!
*after John primes the weapons and the Royal Planet defenses target them*
Braca: Stay away from the comms! GET AWAY FROM THE COMMS! *to ro-NA* I said get Crichton!
John: Aw - maaaannn! WE'RE SO SCREWED MAN! WE'RE GONNA DIE! *starts grabbing and dancing with a frightened ro-NA before pushing her into sparking circuitry* *then overpowers Braca*
Braca: You're insane!
John: What? You just figured that out? I thought that was common knowledge!
*John converses with a Scorpy-voice in his head…*
Voice of Scorpius: Focus, John. Panic is unacceptable. You'll survive.
John: No.
Voice of Scorpius: You must survive.
John: No!
Voice of Scorpius: You've come too far to die.
*D’argo and Chiana’s sex life continues to face interruptions*
D’argo: The Empress has put Scorpius on notice. The Scarran too. Her son. Everyone. Security is so tight that last night they burst into my room just as Chiana was, ah - screaming...
*Aeryn and John reprise their earlier argument*
John: Aeryn, is there a way off this planet? Have you convinced Scorpius to stop chasing me? The Empress, is she no longer intent on her daughter being heir to the throne?
Aeryn: Those are not good reasons for getting married.
John: Oh I know, bigger picture. Let's say that the idiot son inherits the throne. He starts wars. He makes bad alliances. Millions of people die. 80 cycles. It's not that long of a time.
Aeryn: Oh, so you've rationalized this all out have you?
John: Aeryn I'm tired. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do when there's no fight left?
Aeryn: You run away.
John: With you?
Aeryn: With all of us together.
*Pilot remembers how Velorek got him on board Moya*
Pilot: Moya has slipped from my consciousness. She is gone... and I am shortly to follow. Don't feel sad. Our lives were good. Moya is right - we are - fulfilled.
Zhaan: Pilot, it has been a pleasure.
Pilot: I am ready now. I have seen the stars...
*John thinks he gets the last laugh over Scorpy*
John: I had one request for a wedding present; that you be banned from this planet forever. You know what they said? 'Yes, Your Highness.'
*the wedding ceremony—and Rygel’s reaction*
Novia: In the presence of the Spirit of all who have sacrificed so that we may rule ourselves in peace, I call public the joining of my daughter and her betrothed in the sacred ceremony that shall ensure compassionate governance and harmony. Should any one among you feel cause to sway the will of love. To question the ability, the sincerity, or the destiny of this union, rise now, and be heard. *pause, to look at rest of cast* With your silence as benediction, I invite you to now rise and witness the crux of power pass from one generation to the next. You will now be wed. It is more obligation than honour. You are not only responsible for each other but for the lives of your subjects. Do you accept this burden in matrimony?
Katralla: Without hesitation.
John: *much less enthuasiastically* Without hesitation.
Novia: As Reigning Monarch, it gives me great pleasure to formally introduce our Successors - the future Empress and Regent of this great and peaceful civilization - Katralla! And John.
Rygel: Oh magnificent! I smell power again!
*Katralla tries to make John see the best in their situation*
Katralla: Pieces of different kindling often build the strongest fire.
*D’argo succeeds a little better in lifting John’s spirits*
D’argo: Now I can only speak truth. And that comes as good and bad news.
John: All right. Give me the bad news first.
D’argo: The bad news is that you're married, and must endure as a statue for 80 cycles in a strange world.
John: What's the good news.
D’argo: Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.
___
Also an unusually high concentration of “Star Wars” references, from a series that nevertheless does do a lot of SW references on the whole. Hee. And Jonathan Hardy in his one and only non-Rygel role! Fun times.
Episode summary is here, courtesy of the John and Aeryn Fansite.
I’ll start with the subplot, just to get it out of the way. We find out that the mist calling Moya in comes from her deities, Hardy’s Kahaynu. He finds our Leviathan in good health, but the fact that she can birth gun ships means, basically, that she’s an abomination and has to be decommissioned. Zhaan and Kahaynu briefly touch upon philosophical concepts, a la how every culture should value life, and Kahaynu’s capriciousness. (It should be noted that not only is he killing Moya, but he refuses to offer Zhaan and Pilot a route to safety. He refuses to talk to Pilot at all, which always pissed me off—Pilots live in symbiosis with Leviathans, yet they’re too lowly for the Builders to talk to? Sounds like they’re modeled after the Greco-Roman gods. :P) It’s always nice hearing from Moya directly, and I enjoyed the foggy atmosphere, and particularly Virginia Hey’s grief acting.
On the Royal Planet, we find out that ditzy Jenavian Chato is actually a PK undercover spy who will kill Clavor if he (and by extension his Scarran allies) assume the throne. She assumes that John is also a peacekeeper on a mission, which our human is thankfully able to cover up with “classified.” (He also keeps her secret when Tyno questions him later—smart move. Don’t need more enemies, John.) More plots abound—Cargn is willing to utilize any fatal means possible to kill John, even if it also annihilates Katralla, a line that Clavor himself isn’t too keen to cross. (I’ll take my brother/sister moments where I can. :P) ro-NA saves the royal couple from the Obi-Wan poison gas ball, but we later learn that her motives are less than altruistic; she’s working for Scorpius, to deliver John to him. And Rygel and Novia scheme about secret ways to keep assassination-prone John secretly safe—always a pleasure to watch Rygel play to his strengths, especially when they’re not completely selfish and harmful.
The royal family could be kind of funny. After Tyno explains that they abhor personal violence, Katralla wallops John a good one for attacking Clavor. :P (I really love how Katralla is fleshed out—she struggles with her brothers actions, her own desires, and she’s even allowed to have a little bit of a relationship with John.) It’s always also fun to see two female characters (Katralla and Jenavian in this case) play beauty and passive aggressive politics in front of the mirror, only to have Aeryn storm in and slam their heads into the glass with direct threats. :P Clavor remains insipid and fun to watch. Meanwhile, eager cousin, Dregon, finally gets the hint when Aeryn disses him, but he’s more than thrilled at the end of the episode when she uses him as the rebound. Might be fun to see Aeryn interact with the Ladies Man, hee. Finally, I still love how Novia holds herself—she truly seems to lord over everyone else, Scorpius, Rygel, etc. Even if she’s a bit in denial about her son, but honestly, who doesn’t have a little bit of a family blindside? (Well, and also with ro-NA.) It’s a good flaw.
But no one can really out-act Ben when he’s playing craaaaaazy John. I gotta admit, it’s a unique (speaking of Scorpius’s John-obsession) and character-true way for our human to escape his situation with Braca and ro-NA. (Am thrilled that Braca is starting to take more of a recurring guest role; makes the over-all story more consistent, plus David Franklin is awesome. :P And so is Francesca in this role with her high-pitched, materialistic excitement and greed. I kinda felt bad when John electrocuted her.) All that being said, our human being able to survive space without any sort of suit is where I sorta draw the line. Just: no. There had to be another way…while, of course, keeping the Scorpius-voice in his head. :D File that away, newbies!
Other weaknesses this ep weren’t quite as weak, because even though John-in-giving-up-Earth and John/Aeryn shipper angst basically didn’t change from the last ep, Ben and Claudia are just so damn good. I really bought the emotion. Also, Anthony is good—reprising the supportive friend routine, and reminding us of his fantastic sex with Chiana. :P And Chi gets her bravery on when trying to confront Cargn and Clavor! Doesn’t really go anywhere (in fact it alerts Cargn to some “insider knowledge,”) but I love Gigi’s jumpy, nervous performance when Chiana, as usual, gets waaaay too deep into bad situations. (I also loved her “girl talk” advice to Aeryn. We don’t really get to see our leading ladies attempt to reach out to each other much, so it’s always a treat.)
Shoutout to the “Star Wars” references I missed: John and Chiana’s goodbyes; “I love you,” “I know,” and John’s living statue, which makes Han in carbonite look like a cake walk. :P Another shoutout—I just loved the matriarchal tint of the wedding. It was obvious that Katralla was to be the main ruler, and all of their vows had to do with tying the marriage into upholding the peace and protecting the people. Still not exactly a marriage by choice, but I bought into the whole valor of duty.
Favorite Crichtonism: *while aiming Braca’s gun at his hand* My sex life! Kill my sex life!
Favorite Quotes:
*John almost loses his cover with Jenavian*
Jenavian: I admire your dedication. Wouldn't let them make me a statue for 80 cycles.
John: Interesting coincidence, I was just having the same thought.
Jenavian: Are you wavering?
John: And if I am?
Jenavian: Would you hesitate to kill me if I jeopardized the mission?
John: Jenavian, right? Thanks. *walks away*
*to ro-NA, after threatening Clavor*
John: He needs a bath and a hug.
*Chiana and Tyno react to John’s assault*
Tyno: You cannot assault a member of the ruling house!
John: Well he was trying to have me killed.
Chiana: You bitch-slapped the tralk!
*Katralla and John’s first fight*
Katralla: You humiliated me. *slap*
John: That's enough. OK? You have made your point.
Katralla: I don't think I have. Clavor went to my mother and detailed your obnoxious behavior.
John: My obnoxious behavior?
Katralla: Yes! My brother poisoned my DNA, I know - I am NOT a fool - but he would never kill anyone!
John: Well a Scarran might, they are playmates, you know that?
Katralla: Look - If you don't want to marry me - just say so.
John: I already said so. Lady, we have been over this ground with a backhoe. It works for both of us - It saves my life, it saves your ass. *slap*
John: Okay. I did deserve that.
*Zhaan calls Kahaynu out*
Kahaynu: Pilots do not speak to Kahaynu.
Zhaan: A capricious deity.
*Chiana and Aeryn have more “girl talk”*
Chiana: Have you even told him how you feel?
Aeryn: He knows what he needs to know.
Chiana: Look Aeryn, all men are stupid, ok? Men - stupid. If you want them to know something, you gotta to tell them.
*Aeryn delivers the best put-down*
Dregon: I simply offer myself as a diversion. Besides, you never know, we could be extremely compatible. *offers her DNA serum*
Aeryn: *throws it in lake* Now don't feel bad. It's not you - it's me. I don't like you.
*John’s way of assessing the danger of the poison-gas machine*
John: Obi-Wan had one... except his was a lot smaller.
*Novia and Rygel co-conspire*
Novia: If Crichton leaves, he will flee.
Rygel: Not - if you control the situation. Stash him somewhere. Moya's gone. He's got no where to go. At least give yourself time to identify the conspirators other than your son.
Novia: Are you familiar with the Jakensh race?
Rygel: The little green creature who saved Crichton and your daughter.
Novia: Precisely. Her Elders Counsel sent a ship filled with wedding gifts. It orbits unattended, unnoticed.
Rygel: Excellent thinking. Do you employ a detail of guards above treason?
Novia: I shall send my very own Paladins.
Rygel: I propose we tell no one. Not my shipmates, or your daughter. Let them all think that Crichton's disappeared.
Novia: Throw them off the scent. Encourage those who are intent on assassination to grow careless.
*Zhaan and Kahaynu argue philosophy, and our Delvian speaks to Moya directly*
Kahaynu: How egocentric. As if your way is were the only way.
Zhaan: I am a priest. I have long ago come to terms with the idea that alien life practices alien ritual. But all life cherishes life!
Kahaynu: Moya can produce gunships. Moya must be decommissioned. She trusts my suggestion to guide her.
Zhaan: You will never convince me that Moya is doing this willingly.
Kahaynu: Then let her do it.
Moya: Moyaaah... fulfilled...
Zhaan: Moya...
Moya: Moyaaah... go... willing. Willing... Yesss... Peeeaccce...
*ro-NA hints at her true colors*
ro-NA: Our culture frowns on acquisition. We live to serve, not to possess.
John: So you don't own your own stuff?
ro-NA: No. To what end does possessory wealth serve?
John: Well - good question. Before I left Earth I had a lot of things that were very important to me.
ro-NA: No more?
John: I live in a converted cell. I don't have a VCR, no remote control... Damn - no Charlie Parker albums. And I do miss my '62 T-bird. But - you discover you need very little.
ro-NA: And do you miss not having these things?
John: Not really. Priorities change.
ro-NA: I often wonder what I would do with wealth!
John: Well I tell you what - if there's ever anything I can do to help you find it - you let me know.
ro-NA: I shall remember those words Highness.
John: It's John.
ro-NA: Yeeesss Highness yes...
*Katralla and Jenavian play passive-aggressive, Aeryn plays aggressive-aggressive*
Jenavian: Poor Katralla. So unaware of what it takes.
Katralla: To be a slut, Jenavian?
Jenavian: To keep a man. I heard yours ran off rather than marry you.
Katralla: Somebody tried to kill him. Probably my brother. Your fiancé. What does that say about you?
Jenavian: Honestly? That I pick winners.
Katralla: You disgust me.
Aeryn: *after smashing their faces into the mirror* Hello ladies. I hope I'm not disturbing. Now listen to me closely so that there's no misunderstanding. I don't know what game's being played on this little planet of yours, and I don't really care. What I care about is that a good friend of mine is not hurt - in any sense of the word. And if he is, I will personally take revenge on both of your overly made up faces.
*Chiana attempts to threaten, but instead gives up her cards*
Chiana: I'm a Nebari. You may have heard of us.
Cargn: Leave this room now chiiild.
Chiana: Well you also may also have heard how we can defeat full Command Carriers. Not to mention, uh, mind cleansing.
Cargn: We are both impressed and daunted by your means Nebari. Continue.
Chiana: So if anything happens to John Crichton - Expect uh - Expect retribution. Yeah. Retribution. Frell...
Clavor: What the hezmana was that all about?
Cargn: They don't know where he is either. You are going to rule.
*John uses Scorpius’s words to propel him into crazytown*
John: Why don't you leave me alone Scorpy?
Scorpius: Because the wormhole technology locked in your brain makes you, to my knowledge, unique in the galaxy.
John: Unique.
Scorpius: And unique, is always valuable. Yes.
John: Unique. Unique...
*poor Braca can’t get a hold over crazy!John*
Braca: Sit down or I'll shoot your limbs off one at a time.
John: Nononono - see - Human. Sebacean. Human. Sebacean - we're different - one wound - I bleed out! *mimics Scorpous* Oh! Officer Braca! What the frell happened? Hm? Hm? Hm? Hm? Fine! Let's do it then! LET'S DO THIS THING! Come on! Shoot me! Right here! Right here! Come on! Oh, nonono - not the brain, he wants the brain. The heart! Here! The heart. You should shoot me in the heart! Uuuhhh - kinda - yer left, right - Oh yeah! My right your left! My left your right! Here! John Wayne Bobbit! Vienna Boys Choir! OoOOoohH-waAaAAaaHhHh!
*after John primes the weapons and the Royal Planet defenses target them*
Braca: Stay away from the comms! GET AWAY FROM THE COMMS! *to ro-NA* I said get Crichton!
John: Aw - maaaannn! WE'RE SO SCREWED MAN! WE'RE GONNA DIE! *starts grabbing and dancing with a frightened ro-NA before pushing her into sparking circuitry* *then overpowers Braca*
Braca: You're insane!
John: What? You just figured that out? I thought that was common knowledge!
*John converses with a Scorpy-voice in his head…*
Voice of Scorpius: Focus, John. Panic is unacceptable. You'll survive.
John: No.
Voice of Scorpius: You must survive.
John: No!
Voice of Scorpius: You've come too far to die.
*D’argo and Chiana’s sex life continues to face interruptions*
D’argo: The Empress has put Scorpius on notice. The Scarran too. Her son. Everyone. Security is so tight that last night they burst into my room just as Chiana was, ah - screaming...
*Aeryn and John reprise their earlier argument*
John: Aeryn, is there a way off this planet? Have you convinced Scorpius to stop chasing me? The Empress, is she no longer intent on her daughter being heir to the throne?
Aeryn: Those are not good reasons for getting married.
John: Oh I know, bigger picture. Let's say that the idiot son inherits the throne. He starts wars. He makes bad alliances. Millions of people die. 80 cycles. It's not that long of a time.
Aeryn: Oh, so you've rationalized this all out have you?
John: Aeryn I'm tired. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do when there's no fight left?
Aeryn: You run away.
John: With you?
Aeryn: With all of us together.
*Pilot remembers how Velorek got him on board Moya*
Pilot: Moya has slipped from my consciousness. She is gone... and I am shortly to follow. Don't feel sad. Our lives were good. Moya is right - we are - fulfilled.
Zhaan: Pilot, it has been a pleasure.
Pilot: I am ready now. I have seen the stars...
*John thinks he gets the last laugh over Scorpy*
John: I had one request for a wedding present; that you be banned from this planet forever. You know what they said? 'Yes, Your Highness.'
*the wedding ceremony—and Rygel’s reaction*
Novia: In the presence of the Spirit of all who have sacrificed so that we may rule ourselves in peace, I call public the joining of my daughter and her betrothed in the sacred ceremony that shall ensure compassionate governance and harmony. Should any one among you feel cause to sway the will of love. To question the ability, the sincerity, or the destiny of this union, rise now, and be heard. *pause, to look at rest of cast* With your silence as benediction, I invite you to now rise and witness the crux of power pass from one generation to the next. You will now be wed. It is more obligation than honour. You are not only responsible for each other but for the lives of your subjects. Do you accept this burden in matrimony?
Katralla: Without hesitation.
John: *much less enthuasiastically* Without hesitation.
Novia: As Reigning Monarch, it gives me great pleasure to formally introduce our Successors - the future Empress and Regent of this great and peaceful civilization - Katralla! And John.
Rygel: Oh magnificent! I smell power again!
*Katralla tries to make John see the best in their situation*
Katralla: Pieces of different kindling often build the strongest fire.
*D’argo succeeds a little better in lifting John’s spirits*
D’argo: Now I can only speak truth. And that comes as good and bad news.
John: All right. Give me the bad news first.
D’argo: The bad news is that you're married, and must endure as a statue for 80 cycles in a strange world.
John: What's the good news.
D’argo: Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.
___
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