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scifi_rewatchThis episode was better than I remember. Perhaps I figured that it was largely ridiculous because of Salmoneus’s involvement (the last we see of this character on “Xena”!) Well, it was pretty ridiculous. :P One has to wonder where all the spotlights came from, to say nothing of Gabrielle’s French accent.
But this eppy was “ahead of it’s time” in more ways than one. Not only did it make you arch your eyebrows about the latest deviation from Greco-Roman times, but it also deviated from the mid-nineties—this episode featured a transsexual character. :O Chris Manheim, in the first episode to be both written and directed by a woman, based the character, Miss Artifice, off of her brother. (Thanks for the 411, FemPop!)
I have mixed feelings about the “takeaway” we’re supposed to get about beauty contests, but under the cut we go!
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
My beef about the beauty talent part is—ok, are you not supposed to get enjoyment out of them as a woman unless you’re transsexual? :P Miss Artifice got to steal the crown and the glory, while the rest of the girls realized they were “better than that.” Almost makes this episode sound more offensive across the board, but I think it just wasn’t fully developed.
For Xena and Gabrielle’s part, I think their “lesson to be learned” was that these women weren’t complete bimbos. Most had deeper personal desires in the aftermath of the war that just ravaged their villages—getting away to make a fresh start, getting food for their families, etc. Ergo it was also a look at how women are often exploited by the men in their lives—in this case, warlords who are using the girls (and threats of renewed conflict) to boost their egos. Thanks to help from Xena, who employed more analytical tricks than kick ass moves this episode, the women learned that they didn’t need the men to achieve their goals (and at least one of the men learned how to not be such a douchebag. :P But that was mostly due to Gabrielle.)
Gabrielle played the perfect role—the “Marquesa,” Xena…er, Miss Amphipolis’s sponsor. She never fully achieved her objective—to find out who was seriously trying to re-start the war—but her accent made up for it. :P Also, as usual, her competitive side shone through, but it was a little less intense than usual. I wonder if they deliberately wanted to tone Gabrielle’s aggression down, cos that act was getting exhausting, even just as an audience member. Poor Renee! (Also, I gotta appreciate that Gabrielle was with the warlords and Xena was with the women, cos you wouldn’t expect that, given their backgrounds. And yet, both roles spoke to their respective strengths as characters. A nice reminder that our leading ladies are well developed.)
Even Salmoneus was more genuinely funny than I remember. Robert Trebor has a knack for those show tunes. I think that might be my favorite scene—the practice run where Salmoneus is belting it out and, behind him, the girls are stumbling into each other. :P Speaking of learning patience, I guess Xena is as well! She was astoundingly low key this episode, though she tends to be more forgiving of outwardly bitchy ladies than buffoonish men, perhaps. Salmoneus was definitely put into a couple of choke holds. :P
In terms of the “who dunnit” mystery of the episode, I think that was pretty well played out. Always a treat to not know who the “real” bad guy was (though all of the goons were pretty…goonish.) They had some nice steps of misdirection, too—I mean, the pageant matron seemed pretty sneaky and suspicious of Xena and Gabrielle. Then, Gabrielle learned at one point, from the rest of the goons pointing fingers, that Miss Skiros hadn’t yet been harmed—but that was before the talent competition when the ceiling, which we artfully saw being sawed in the middle of the night, almost fell down on her. (Also mended the rift between Xena and Skiros—useful! /girl power) Ultimately, I suppose it’s not too surprising that the person who outwardly preached the most about peace was secretly pulling strings to get the dudes all riled up for conflict. But there was another nice moment of misplacement when we saw all said dudes getting whacked over the head—only ultimately to find out that Xena tied them up, conscious, under the table to listen to Lord Claron’s confession.
Final notes—Lucy had too much fun with her lines. :P “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.” Gabrielle had too much fun with her “drag” puns. The production team had too much fun naming this contest “Miss Known World.” And Miss Artifice had too much fun dressing up in Xena’s armor (great cover, after someone attempted to out “Miss Amphipolis,”) with her ribbons (as evidenced below,) and with Xena herself, as she locked lips with our leading warrior princess. :O Gabrielle’s face was priceless.
Disclaimer: No ribbons were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several experienced severe motion sickness.
Favorite Quotes:
*Xena and Gabrielle’s first thoughts on the idea of a beauty contest*
Xena: Beauty contest? You sent urgent word for us to come and see some underdressed, over-developed bimbos in a beauty contest?
Salmoneus: Pageant-- it’s called a pageant.
Gabrielle: Contest, pageant. It’s a feeble excuse for men to exploit and degrade women.
Salmoneus: Wrong as usual, Miss Sunshine. Since when do we ever need an excuse?
Gabrielle: Hmm.
*for someone who disses them, Xena is good at playing “the bimbo” (and some nice misdirection here about whether or not she’ll be found out)*
Matron: Matron of the pageant, coming in. Oh, there’s no time for modesty. I’ve got ten more of you wannabes to see before-- Here, what’s this?”
Xena: What?
Matron: Aren’t you? Yes, I’m sure you are.
Xena: What?
Matron: You’re wearing the robe inside-out.
Xena: Oh.
Matron: Oh, why the gods waste beauty on girls like you, I’ll never know. If I had half your looks, I’d rule the world.
Xena: Look, I’m sorry about the robe-- I was just so totally thrilled to be here, that--
Matron: Oh, save it for the judges-- I’m on a schedule.
*Gabrielle introduces herself to the other sponsors as “The Marquesa”*
Gabrielle: That’s right. I am called-- the Marquesa. And from what I just hear, I am a lot better sponsor than any of you. Your contestant is nearly killed, and it’s you who’s insulted. Get a life! And yours is attacked, but it’s your disgrace? Give me a break. And I suppose if yours gets hurt, it’d be about you, too. Well, all I can say to you three is-- Hmmm! Clear the runway, ‘cause my contestant is going to _wipe_ the floor with all of you.
*Miss Artifice introduces “the transsexual issue” after Xena privately outs her by ripping off the wig*
Xena: What made you think I’d tell?
Artifice: You really don’t get it, do you? I guess being born a woman, you wouldn’t. This is a chance to use a part of me most people usually laugh at-- or worse. The part I usually have to hide-- only here that part works for me-- you see?”
Xena: I think so.
Artifice: Look-- I don’t expect you to understand. And I’m sorry I got you steamed. I just hope you let me quit the pageant in private instead of going public with it.
Xena: No way. May the best person win.
*although most of the warlords are sexist assholes, the Doge seems a little more open to fairness*
Gabrielle: Will you listen to yourselves. Now, how do you think the contestants feel under all this pressure?
Regent: Who cares? As long as mine wins.
Palantine: I told mine, I don’t care if she wins-- I just don’t want her to lose.
Gabrielle: Very understanding.
Doge: Why, what’d you tell yours?
Gabrielle: I do not tell her anything. We are a team. I ask.
Palantine: Yeah, right! One more incident-- I’m bringing in my troops.”
Regent: That makes two of us.
Claron: I’ll send out a call for more volunteers--
Doge: Marquesa.
Gabrielle: Yes?
Doge: That asking stuff-- that works for you?
Gabrielle: Every time.
Doge: Hmm.
*Gabrielle’s competitive side makes a brief appearance*
Gabrielle: Remember-- a beauty pageant is like a war. To win, you’ve gotta be fired with the heat of competition! The power! The passion! The desire to win.
Xena: Gabrielle, we’re not here to win. We’re here to stop a war.
Gabrielle: Yeah sure-- but there’s no harm in winning-- right?
*the bungled practice scene*
Salmoneus: Follow your moves, keep it warm, and whatever happens, try to stay upright. OK, let’s hit it! A-one, two, three.
‘Like soft gentle winds that will blow through your hair;
Like fire that warms you when no one else cares;
Like flowers that bloom from the Earth in the spring;
A woman’s a natural thing.
Contestants: Ow! Watch it! [And throughout the remainder of the song]
‘Like flora and fauna that brighten your day;
Like water we drink, and the sea where we play;
Like dragonflies riding the air on their wings;
A woman’s a natural thing.
‘So give thanks and give praise
To the gods for their bounty.
And thanks to Athena
From city and county.
But most of all honor the goddess, Demeter,
With flowers and songs and with crops that will feed her.
To her we will lift up our cups as we say-ay--
A woman’s a natural thing-- yeah!’
OK, take five. I’ll work with you slowly in small groups.
Salmoneus’s bio for Xena doesn’t go over so well*
Salmoneus: Next up, we have Miss Amphipolis. A country girl at heart, she enjoys the simple things in life-- weaving tapestries, making candles, and doing volunteer work with her local Hestian virgins. Put ‘em together for the phenomenal Miss Amphipolis.
*Miss Artifice’s armor-wearing cover for Xena when she’s outed*
Artifice: Honey, I’m no princess-- I’m a Queen.
*a little bit of a deeper moment in this episode, concerning Xena’s singing*
Gabrielle: I don’t understand why you won’t sing. You would be a shoe-in if you did.
Xena: Gabrielle, I’ve told you before-- I sing when I’m moved-- when there’s something behind it. It’s not about performance.
*Gabrielle aka “the Marquesa” as peacemaker amongst the warlords*
Gabrielle: What is it with you three? Always threats, ultimatums. You are here to celebrate the peace and work together. Now, just shut up and do it!
*Xena learns the truth about her fellow contestants and offers some relationship advice to Miss Messini*
Xena: Oh-- I guess we’re all kind of keyed up, you know? Wondering about who’s gonna win the pageant and all, huh?
Mesini: No-- I think it’s a crock.
Xena: You do?
Mesini: We all do-- except for you. But then, you’re not from around here. You can’t know how stupid something like this seems, when you’ve been through a war where it was a fight just to survive.
Xena: Well, if that’s how you all feel, then why are you here?
Mesini: Different reasons-- Miss Parnassus made a deal. If she wins, the Palatine will give her village extra food for this coming winter. Or Miss Skyros-- the war was so terrible—and the memories. She wants to get away, so she’s using this pageant to do it.”
Xena: And you? Why’d you enter?
Mesini: I didn’t. My boyf-- my sponsor entered me. I guess I could’ve said no-- but it just seemed to mean so much to him that I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Xena: What about your feelings-- Don’t they count?
Mesini: They never have before. I mean, he loves me-- but he’s so hung up on the way I look, you know? That it’s hard for him to see past that to the person underneath. But, then I guess a lot of people make that mistake-- don’t you?
Xena: I know they do-- but you can change that. Tell him how you feel. You’re entitled.
Mesini: You think so?
Xena: I know so-- So should you.
*Lord Claron reveals his evil intentions, and Xena reveals something else :P*
Xena: What are you doing?
Claron: You wouldn’t understand. You weren’t here for the war, when our neutrality made this country rich.
Xena: You made a profit out of death and suffering?
Claron: Let’s just say we filled a need. And then the peace came-- and the good times were gone. That’s why we need another war-- to bring back the prosperity. And that’s why you have to die.
Xena: So you’re the one who’s sabotaging this pageant?
Claron: Can you think of a better way to get these fools to fight again without arousing suspicion?
Xena: As a matter of fact, I can’t. But, why don’t we ask the fools themselves? [reveals them tied up under the table]
*Salmoneus’s contest kind of falls apart around him—except for Miss Artifice*
Salmoneus: Xena! What have you done with Miss Amphipolis?!
Xena: She’s withdrawn from the pageant.
Salmoneus: What?
Xena: She told me to say that she’s learned a lot from all of you-- but it’s time that she moved on.
Salmoneus: B-b-b-but-- she can’t! I have the ballot right here! And, uh-- uh-oh! She won! See?! She can’t quit now.
Xena: She just did.
Salmoneus: Right. That means the winner will be our first runner-up, and that is--
Skiros: Wait! I quit, too.
Regent: What?!
Skiros: That’s right. I thought I needed this crown to get away from a lot of bad luck. It turns out all I need-- is myself--and, maybe someone to remind me of that-- once in a while.
Salmoneus: OK, moving on down the line. Ah! I see that our winner is--
Mesini: Wait! Me too-- I quit, too.
Salmoneus: What is this, catching?
Doge: You heard her-- she wants to quit. You got a problem with that?
Salmoneus: No, sir-- uh-uh! Especially because, I think we have a winner right here.
Parnassus: Then think again.
Palantine: We had a deal! You put yourself before your family, your village? You’ll let them starve?
Parnassus: No, I won’t let them starve. I’ll help them plant, and-- and plow, and harvest, with all my strength, year after year, until we get through this. But to give away my pride and my dignity, for one winter’s food? Where’s the good in that?
Salmoneus: She has a point-- which means-- that our winner is—Miss Artifice! Thank you. You really saved my assets. You are something else.
Artifice: You have no idea.
*the Miss Known World song*
‘Stand back, and let her through.
She’s the one girl who’ll do.
A beauty so mythic,
Her figure’s terrific.
She’s Miss Known World.
With a face and a form so sublime,
She’s a legend within her own time.
So stand back, make way,
Let her smile make your day.
She’s Miss Known World.’
___
But this eppy was “ahead of it’s time” in more ways than one. Not only did it make you arch your eyebrows about the latest deviation from Greco-Roman times, but it also deviated from the mid-nineties—this episode featured a transsexual character. :O Chris Manheim, in the first episode to be both written and directed by a woman, based the character, Miss Artifice, off of her brother. (Thanks for the 411, FemPop!)
I have mixed feelings about the “takeaway” we’re supposed to get about beauty contests, but under the cut we go!
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
My beef about the beauty talent part is—ok, are you not supposed to get enjoyment out of them as a woman unless you’re transsexual? :P Miss Artifice got to steal the crown and the glory, while the rest of the girls realized they were “better than that.” Almost makes this episode sound more offensive across the board, but I think it just wasn’t fully developed.
For Xena and Gabrielle’s part, I think their “lesson to be learned” was that these women weren’t complete bimbos. Most had deeper personal desires in the aftermath of the war that just ravaged their villages—getting away to make a fresh start, getting food for their families, etc. Ergo it was also a look at how women are often exploited by the men in their lives—in this case, warlords who are using the girls (and threats of renewed conflict) to boost their egos. Thanks to help from Xena, who employed more analytical tricks than kick ass moves this episode, the women learned that they didn’t need the men to achieve their goals (and at least one of the men learned how to not be such a douchebag. :P But that was mostly due to Gabrielle.)
Gabrielle played the perfect role—the “Marquesa,” Xena…er, Miss Amphipolis’s sponsor. She never fully achieved her objective—to find out who was seriously trying to re-start the war—but her accent made up for it. :P Also, as usual, her competitive side shone through, but it was a little less intense than usual. I wonder if they deliberately wanted to tone Gabrielle’s aggression down, cos that act was getting exhausting, even just as an audience member. Poor Renee! (Also, I gotta appreciate that Gabrielle was with the warlords and Xena was with the women, cos you wouldn’t expect that, given their backgrounds. And yet, both roles spoke to their respective strengths as characters. A nice reminder that our leading ladies are well developed.)
Even Salmoneus was more genuinely funny than I remember. Robert Trebor has a knack for those show tunes. I think that might be my favorite scene—the practice run where Salmoneus is belting it out and, behind him, the girls are stumbling into each other. :P Speaking of learning patience, I guess Xena is as well! She was astoundingly low key this episode, though she tends to be more forgiving of outwardly bitchy ladies than buffoonish men, perhaps. Salmoneus was definitely put into a couple of choke holds. :P
In terms of the “who dunnit” mystery of the episode, I think that was pretty well played out. Always a treat to not know who the “real” bad guy was (though all of the goons were pretty…goonish.) They had some nice steps of misdirection, too—I mean, the pageant matron seemed pretty sneaky and suspicious of Xena and Gabrielle. Then, Gabrielle learned at one point, from the rest of the goons pointing fingers, that Miss Skiros hadn’t yet been harmed—but that was before the talent competition when the ceiling, which we artfully saw being sawed in the middle of the night, almost fell down on her. (Also mended the rift between Xena and Skiros—useful! /girl power) Ultimately, I suppose it’s not too surprising that the person who outwardly preached the most about peace was secretly pulling strings to get the dudes all riled up for conflict. But there was another nice moment of misplacement when we saw all said dudes getting whacked over the head—only ultimately to find out that Xena tied them up, conscious, under the table to listen to Lord Claron’s confession.
Final notes—Lucy had too much fun with her lines. :P “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.” Gabrielle had too much fun with her “drag” puns. The production team had too much fun naming this contest “Miss Known World.” And Miss Artifice had too much fun dressing up in Xena’s armor (great cover, after someone attempted to out “Miss Amphipolis,”) with her ribbons (as evidenced below,) and with Xena herself, as she locked lips with our leading warrior princess. :O Gabrielle’s face was priceless.
Disclaimer: No ribbons were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several experienced severe motion sickness.
Favorite Quotes:
*Xena and Gabrielle’s first thoughts on the idea of a beauty contest*
Xena: Beauty contest? You sent urgent word for us to come and see some underdressed, over-developed bimbos in a beauty contest?
Salmoneus: Pageant-- it’s called a pageant.
Gabrielle: Contest, pageant. It’s a feeble excuse for men to exploit and degrade women.
Salmoneus: Wrong as usual, Miss Sunshine. Since when do we ever need an excuse?
Gabrielle: Hmm.
*for someone who disses them, Xena is good at playing “the bimbo” (and some nice misdirection here about whether or not she’ll be found out)*
Matron: Matron of the pageant, coming in. Oh, there’s no time for modesty. I’ve got ten more of you wannabes to see before-- Here, what’s this?”
Xena: What?
Matron: Aren’t you? Yes, I’m sure you are.
Xena: What?
Matron: You’re wearing the robe inside-out.
Xena: Oh.
Matron: Oh, why the gods waste beauty on girls like you, I’ll never know. If I had half your looks, I’d rule the world.
Xena: Look, I’m sorry about the robe-- I was just so totally thrilled to be here, that--
Matron: Oh, save it for the judges-- I’m on a schedule.
*Gabrielle introduces herself to the other sponsors as “The Marquesa”*
Gabrielle: That’s right. I am called-- the Marquesa. And from what I just hear, I am a lot better sponsor than any of you. Your contestant is nearly killed, and it’s you who’s insulted. Get a life! And yours is attacked, but it’s your disgrace? Give me a break. And I suppose if yours gets hurt, it’d be about you, too. Well, all I can say to you three is-- Hmmm! Clear the runway, ‘cause my contestant is going to _wipe_ the floor with all of you.
*Miss Artifice introduces “the transsexual issue” after Xena privately outs her by ripping off the wig*
Xena: What made you think I’d tell?
Artifice: You really don’t get it, do you? I guess being born a woman, you wouldn’t. This is a chance to use a part of me most people usually laugh at-- or worse. The part I usually have to hide-- only here that part works for me-- you see?”
Xena: I think so.
Artifice: Look-- I don’t expect you to understand. And I’m sorry I got you steamed. I just hope you let me quit the pageant in private instead of going public with it.
Xena: No way. May the best person win.
*although most of the warlords are sexist assholes, the Doge seems a little more open to fairness*
Gabrielle: Will you listen to yourselves. Now, how do you think the contestants feel under all this pressure?
Regent: Who cares? As long as mine wins.
Palantine: I told mine, I don’t care if she wins-- I just don’t want her to lose.
Gabrielle: Very understanding.
Doge: Why, what’d you tell yours?
Gabrielle: I do not tell her anything. We are a team. I ask.
Palantine: Yeah, right! One more incident-- I’m bringing in my troops.”
Regent: That makes two of us.
Claron: I’ll send out a call for more volunteers--
Doge: Marquesa.
Gabrielle: Yes?
Doge: That asking stuff-- that works for you?
Gabrielle: Every time.
Doge: Hmm.
*Gabrielle’s competitive side makes a brief appearance*
Gabrielle: Remember-- a beauty pageant is like a war. To win, you’ve gotta be fired with the heat of competition! The power! The passion! The desire to win.
Xena: Gabrielle, we’re not here to win. We’re here to stop a war.
Gabrielle: Yeah sure-- but there’s no harm in winning-- right?
*the bungled practice scene*
Salmoneus: Follow your moves, keep it warm, and whatever happens, try to stay upright. OK, let’s hit it! A-one, two, three.
‘Like soft gentle winds that will blow through your hair;
Like fire that warms you when no one else cares;
Like flowers that bloom from the Earth in the spring;
A woman’s a natural thing.
Contestants: Ow! Watch it! [And throughout the remainder of the song]
‘Like flora and fauna that brighten your day;
Like water we drink, and the sea where we play;
Like dragonflies riding the air on their wings;
A woman’s a natural thing.
‘So give thanks and give praise
To the gods for their bounty.
And thanks to Athena
From city and county.
But most of all honor the goddess, Demeter,
With flowers and songs and with crops that will feed her.
To her we will lift up our cups as we say-ay--
A woman’s a natural thing-- yeah!’
OK, take five. I’ll work with you slowly in small groups.
Salmoneus’s bio for Xena doesn’t go over so well*
Salmoneus: Next up, we have Miss Amphipolis. A country girl at heart, she enjoys the simple things in life-- weaving tapestries, making candles, and doing volunteer work with her local Hestian virgins. Put ‘em together for the phenomenal Miss Amphipolis.
*Miss Artifice’s armor-wearing cover for Xena when she’s outed*
Artifice: Honey, I’m no princess-- I’m a Queen.
*a little bit of a deeper moment in this episode, concerning Xena’s singing*
Gabrielle: I don’t understand why you won’t sing. You would be a shoe-in if you did.
Xena: Gabrielle, I’ve told you before-- I sing when I’m moved-- when there’s something behind it. It’s not about performance.
*Gabrielle aka “the Marquesa” as peacemaker amongst the warlords*
Gabrielle: What is it with you three? Always threats, ultimatums. You are here to celebrate the peace and work together. Now, just shut up and do it!
*Xena learns the truth about her fellow contestants and offers some relationship advice to Miss Messini*
Xena: Oh-- I guess we’re all kind of keyed up, you know? Wondering about who’s gonna win the pageant and all, huh?
Mesini: No-- I think it’s a crock.
Xena: You do?
Mesini: We all do-- except for you. But then, you’re not from around here. You can’t know how stupid something like this seems, when you’ve been through a war where it was a fight just to survive.
Xena: Well, if that’s how you all feel, then why are you here?
Mesini: Different reasons-- Miss Parnassus made a deal. If she wins, the Palatine will give her village extra food for this coming winter. Or Miss Skyros-- the war was so terrible—and the memories. She wants to get away, so she’s using this pageant to do it.”
Xena: And you? Why’d you enter?
Mesini: I didn’t. My boyf-- my sponsor entered me. I guess I could’ve said no-- but it just seemed to mean so much to him that I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Xena: What about your feelings-- Don’t they count?
Mesini: They never have before. I mean, he loves me-- but he’s so hung up on the way I look, you know? That it’s hard for him to see past that to the person underneath. But, then I guess a lot of people make that mistake-- don’t you?
Xena: I know they do-- but you can change that. Tell him how you feel. You’re entitled.
Mesini: You think so?
Xena: I know so-- So should you.
*Lord Claron reveals his evil intentions, and Xena reveals something else :P*
Xena: What are you doing?
Claron: You wouldn’t understand. You weren’t here for the war, when our neutrality made this country rich.
Xena: You made a profit out of death and suffering?
Claron: Let’s just say we filled a need. And then the peace came-- and the good times were gone. That’s why we need another war-- to bring back the prosperity. And that’s why you have to die.
Xena: So you’re the one who’s sabotaging this pageant?
Claron: Can you think of a better way to get these fools to fight again without arousing suspicion?
Xena: As a matter of fact, I can’t. But, why don’t we ask the fools themselves? [reveals them tied up under the table]
*Salmoneus’s contest kind of falls apart around him—except for Miss Artifice*
Salmoneus: Xena! What have you done with Miss Amphipolis?!
Xena: She’s withdrawn from the pageant.
Salmoneus: What?
Xena: She told me to say that she’s learned a lot from all of you-- but it’s time that she moved on.
Salmoneus: B-b-b-but-- she can’t! I have the ballot right here! And, uh-- uh-oh! She won! See?! She can’t quit now.
Xena: She just did.
Salmoneus: Right. That means the winner will be our first runner-up, and that is--
Skiros: Wait! I quit, too.
Regent: What?!
Skiros: That’s right. I thought I needed this crown to get away from a lot of bad luck. It turns out all I need-- is myself--and, maybe someone to remind me of that-- once in a while.
Salmoneus: OK, moving on down the line. Ah! I see that our winner is--
Mesini: Wait! Me too-- I quit, too.
Salmoneus: What is this, catching?
Doge: You heard her-- she wants to quit. You got a problem with that?
Salmoneus: No, sir-- uh-uh! Especially because, I think we have a winner right here.
Parnassus: Then think again.
Palantine: We had a deal! You put yourself before your family, your village? You’ll let them starve?
Parnassus: No, I won’t let them starve. I’ll help them plant, and-- and plow, and harvest, with all my strength, year after year, until we get through this. But to give away my pride and my dignity, for one winter’s food? Where’s the good in that?
Salmoneus: She has a point-- which means-- that our winner is—Miss Artifice! Thank you. You really saved my assets. You are something else.
Artifice: You have no idea.
*the Miss Known World song*
‘Stand back, and let her through.
She’s the one girl who’ll do.
A beauty so mythic,
Her figure’s terrific.
She’s Miss Known World.
With a face and a form so sublime,
She’s a legend within her own time.
So stand back, make way,
Let her smile make your day.
She’s Miss Known World.’
___
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