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scifi_rewatchI enjoyed this one, I have to say. I’m a big fan of Ares and a big fan of his relationship with Xena; the only thing that might make it more interesting is having her in Callisto’s body. :P
Kevin Smith is great as the slovenly, bitter and mortal god of war, Renee O’Connor and Ted Raimi are amusing, but let’s just say Hudson Lieck steals this show. The fact that she can play Lucy’s stoic Xena just as well as she can play crazy, unhinged Callisto is breathtaking. A gift to her acting trade!
I’d say the weakest part of this episode was the B storyline with Gabrielle and Joxer. It dragged quite a bit and largely made the least amount of sense. Or maybe they share that with Sisyphus, who is back on “Xena” for a second time, but with a different actor and backstory.
Episode summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Bit role actors have to get replaced sometimes, that’s understandable, but Sisyphus’s personality seems to have gone through an overhaul since we last saw him in “Death in Chains.” Not only is there no mention of his wife or the goddess whom he imprisoned, but he seems to have forgotten all of the lessons he learned about his fear of death. Nope, now he’s back—undead—and has unseated another god in a bid for immortality. I do like the twist at the end of the episode, though—that he tricked all the warlords to the island with the promise of fighting a fan monster for Ares’s godhood, but he was really trying to appease Hades by giving him ten new souls. Very Davy Jones a la “Pirates of the Caribbean.” :P
Perhaps Lucy’s pelvic injury was a blessing in disguise, because Xena in Callisto’s body leant a lot of intrigue to this episode. “Callisto” gets the invite to the island and Xena has to impersonate her. (Xena as Callisto is stuck in CGI spinning ball Tartarus. :P) The stakes are doubly high—will Xena and will Ares be found out? Xena coaches her former mentor in being human, including dealing with his hang over by “hanging his head over” the side of the boat. :P
Upsetting the balance between peaceful innocents and bloodthirsty warlords with a lack of Ares’s presence was a smart move, too, to up stakes. But it did drag on a bit, especially with Gabrielle and Joxer fighting like siblings on the island. Really, Renee was just playing a heightened version of her character, who has the tendency to be a little high strung sometimes even when Ares is in his glory. :P Ted also brought his A game when he went nuts against the fly. But the same schtick over and over again got a little stale. (Also, they seem to know everything about Sisyphus’s plot to use the monster as a ploy to get warlords fighting for the God of War title, but how when they weren’t around for the magician to explain it to them? /bad “Xena” writing.)
This is probably the first episode where Kevin makes his character—pardon the pun—human. :P I gotta appreciate Ares’s complete naiveté (and childlike surliness) to living as a mortal. I also appreciate his arrogance—only someone born as a god can handle immortality, he claims. He then attempts to put the moves on Xena in the first of the Xena/Ares/Gabrielle love triangle (though Xena and Ares have simmered with sexual tension in earlier episodes.) And he’s capricious—earnest when powerless and douchey when he’s a god again, though it’s worth noting that he does give Xena back her body at the very end of the ep. (But is it because he was being honest about changing for the better, or was it because Xena saved his life at the end? Or both? /good “Xena” writing.) At the end of the day, none of it is too surprising—Xena reclaims her body, Ares his godhood—but the seeds have been sown between these multidimensional characters. They have a complex history, complex motivations, and are played by great actors (I’ll include Lucy, hee. :P)
Have I fangirled Hudson Lieck enough this episode? (Who, I should mention, hasn’t only played Xena and Callisto, but now Xena playing Callisto. :O) Because there is no enough. You should just watch, and bask in her talent. :P
Disclaimer: No one was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap.
Favorite QuoteSisyphus:
*Gabrielle responds to Xena in Callisto’s body*
Gabrielle: Xena-- you know, I don’t know if I’m gonna get used to this. It’s so weird having your best friend in the body of your worst enemy. Could you dye your hair?
*after Gabrielle grabs his scroll*
Joxer: Who are you supposed to be, a fierce warrior trapped in the body of Gabrielle?
*brawling breaks out among the villagers over fishcakes*
Woman: Fishcakes, fishcakes, lovely fishcakes. Six for a dinar, six for a dinar. Fishcakes, lovely fishcakes—lovely fishcakes, dearie, six for a dinar.
Gabrielle: Fishcakes?
Woman: Would you like one?
Gabrielle: Oh, I’d--
Woman: They’re really good.
Man: They’re good, but a little bony. Mine are scrumptious, and ten per dinar.
Gabrielle: Ten.
Woman: Twelve per dinar, dearie.
Gabrielle: Twelve.
Woman: His are as chewy as seaweed.
Man: Hey, she’s my cust--
Woman: She’s my customer.
Gabrielle: I wanna fishcake!
Lady: No, they’re mine!
Gabrielle: Lady, I was here first!
Woman: Ahh! Put me down! Ah! Ahh!
*Ares and Gabrielle have their first mortal encounter*
Ares: Humiliating, isn’t it? But what self-respecting god of war would do this? [BELCH]
Gabrielle: That’s great-- ‘cause I’ve always wanted to slap--
Ares: Get away from me! Oh! Woh! Pain-- so that’s what it’s like-- not so bad, really.
Gabrielle: Hah, you like it, huh? Well, there’s plenty more where that came from.
*Ares lays down the plot with Xena while Gabrielle argues with the barkeep*
Ares: I want you to help me get my godhood back.
Xena: And why would I do that?
Ares: Well, I could put you back into your old body. Come on Xena, you must miss staring into those baby blues every time you pass a mirror.
Xena: My body doesn’t make me who I am. My deeds do-- and I don’t plan on letting the god of war back in business.
Gabrielle: What is this? Fish fry? Give me the good stuff.
Ares: What do you think’s happening to your friend? To these pathetic villagers? Without a sitting god of war, peaceful people have lost the self-discipline to control their anger. Come on, huh? I rest my case.
Gabrielle: Just so you know, you’ve got thirty s--.
Xena: If that’s true, how come I haven’t lost control?
Ares: Hmm! That’s the really interesting part. You see—those who have learned to channel their anger, just get more and more focused. But people who have no experience with violence totally lose it…Oh, you may despise me, Xena. But a godhood is a sacred trust. Oh, you’d love to live in a world without war, I know that. But, without me, you’re about to experience a world without peace for anyone, anywhere. Now, you just think about that, Xena!
*Xena plays Callisto with the other warrirors*
Virgilius: Callisto-- I’d heard Xena sent you to Tartarus.
Xena: Well, as you can see-- rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated.”
Tattoo Warlord: I always said Xena was over-rated. Next time I see her, I’m gonna kick her butt!
Xena: If anyone’s gonna waste the Warrior Princess, it’ll be me-- understand?
*Ares is not impressed by the ruse*
Disembodied Sisyphus Welcome, I look forward to meeting you all soon.
Ares: That is nothing like my voice.
*Later, Ares has to deal with more mortal biology*
Ares: What is this infernal throbbing in my head?!
Xena: It’s called a hangover-- it’s the price we mortals pay for drinking to excess.
Ares: And pray, why, is it called a hangover?
Xena: ’Cause, pretty soon you’re gonna hang your head over that rail? [Ares loses his cookies :P]
*Xena and Ares touch on their history*
Xena: You’re so used to pulling everyone’s strings and inflaming their passions. How does it feel depending on me, of all people?
Ares: How do you feel? Allying yourself to the best friend—and the worst enemy you’ve ever known?
*Sisyphus outs Ares to the crowd*
Sisyphus: Greetings, all. I see a familiar face who wasn’t invited. But welcome nonetheless, Ares.
Virgilius: He’s Ares. Then, who are you?
Xena: An imposter-- a conjuror with no real powers to fear.
Sisyphus: The infamous Callisto-- what a pleasure it is to finally meet you. Don’t forget-- I died and descended into Hades’ domain. I’d say my return is something more than a mere—[disappears] parlor trick. Over here, everyone!
Ares: You stole my godhood!
Sisyphus: True-- but you’re free to win it back-- if you can.
*Gabrielle and Joxer start their incessant arguing*
Joxer: See-- I told you this drainage pipe would lead right into the castle.
Gabrielle: No-- you wanted to storm the castle. I wanted to try the drainage pipe. It was me! Me! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
Joxer: You know what? Thatt is _so_ typical of you to say something like that. What’s the matter with you, anyway?!
Gabrielle: What is the matter with me is what I might do if you don’t shut up.
Joxer: Ow! Ow. It came from that way. I think we should go this way.
Gabrielle: Oh, no! We go that way.
Joxer: No, no! You’re gonna walk right into the monster!
Gabrielle: Yes! He’s really rubbing me the wrong way.
*Xena remains unimpressed by Ares’s moves, sexual or otherwise*
Ares: You’re in her body but you still have your touch--warm, firm, passionate-- yet, at the same time, gentle. Now, Callisto-- she’s all animal. You know, she-- starts like a cold fish, but-- you press the right buttons-- hold on, it’s quite a ride. Mind you, my experience with her is-- rather unique. She was in your body at the time.
Xena: When I get my body back, I gotta remember to take a long bath.
Ares: You know, when we were-- downstairs fighting-- I saw that old sparkle in your eyes, Xena. Even being in Callisto’s body can’t hide that. You enjoyed it. What surprises me is I didn’t. You know, it’s always come easily, the-- the bloodlust, the hate-- this is the first time I’ve had to suffer the consequences.
Xena: Spare me, Ares.
Ares: You don’t trust me? I can’t blame you, after all I’ve put you through. But a taste of mortality has really opened my eyes. And, who knows? Once I regain my sword, maybe things will be-- different.
Xena: A kinder, gentler god of war? We both know that’s not gonna happen.
Ares: You changed-- why not me? I never lied to you, Xena. Oh--deceived, manipulated, yeah, but-- a god need never lie.
Xena: But that’s just it, Ares-- you’re not a god anymore. So as much as I’d like to believe you-- even if you believe it--all bets’ll be off once you get your godhood back. And that’s if you do.
*after killing another warlord who attempted to kill Ares as part of Sisyphus’s competition*
Sneaky warlord: So that’s where I put that thing. Sorry for the interruption. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
*Ares offers Xena immortality*
Ares: Sure you don’t want it for yourself? You’d make a magnificent goddess of war.
Xena: Forget it, Ares. How’d you get to be a god anyway? Don’t they have some sort of character requirements?
Ares: You miss the point. For the job I have, my character’s perfect. You know where you would shine? As goddess of desire.
Xena: I said, forget it, Ares.
Ares: Well, you’d be back in your old body-- and get to live forever.
Xena: With you? I’d rather die.
Joxer loses it against the fly*
Joxer: Whereas, I am the picture of self-control. [fly buzzes near him] Come back here, you little winged thing. I’m gonna rip your wings off and mash your little body to pie-- Shh, shh. Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.
Gabrielle: You’ve snapped, haven’t you?
*Sisyphus discovers Xena’s true identity*
Sisyphus: ‘Callisto, goddess of war’ has a ring to it—or should I say, ‘Xena’? Now, how can you be in Callisto’s body? This must be your doing, Ares. Well, Xena, I do hope it is you who goes up against the Baracchus. Oh, and good news-- two more warlords have-- dropped out.
Xena: Which puts you two steps closer to getting someone else to push that rock in the Underworld. Isn’t that right?
Ares: Is that what this so-called contest is really about?
Sisyphus: No-- it’s about winners and losers.
*Ares has had enough of mortality*
Ares: I’ve been hanged, swung over a fire, and nearly shishkabobbed on razor-sharp spikes, yeah! How do you mortals get from day to day?!
*Gabrielle is unimpressed by the fan monster (and somehow knows his name)*
Gabrielle: That’s it?! That’s the Baracchus?!
Joxer: Suck on this toothpick for a while! [stabs fan]
Gabrielle: Somebody’s gonna pay for this.
*Sisyphus reveals his endgame and the game truly ends*
Ares: You wanted my sword for yourself, didn’t you?
Sisyphus: ’Send me ten of the very best warriors,’ Hades said.
Ares: Hades! I’m gonna have a word with him when I get back to Olympus.”
Sisyphus: ’When the last dies and replaces you, then, and only then, will you win Ares’ godhood.’ [goes to kill Ares]
Xena: Ares, duck!
Ares: You saved me. I won’t forget. [reclaims sword to become immortal again]
Xena: Yes, you will.
*A note of humor before Xena gets her body back*
Gabrielle: Xena-- if Ares doesn’t keep his word, and he doesn’t switch you back-- I’ll be there for you, no matter whose body you’re in.
Xena: Even a snake-haired gorgon monster?
Gabrielle: I’ll be there; I just won’t look at you.
Xena: Gabrielle, I’m proud of you. You felt the anger but you fought it. It takes a lot more strength to resist the violence-- than to surrender to it.
Gabrielle: Thank you. Now, if I can just survive the boat-ride with Joxer, I’ll be-- fine.
Xena: Trust me, you’ll be fine-- and so will I. [body switch!]
Gabrielle: Xena, it’s you, right-- not Callisto?
Xena: It’s me. Go on, test me?
Gabrielle: Whose bodies are worse being trapped in than Callisto’s?
Xena: A snake-haired gorgon-- but not by much.
___
Kevin Smith is great as the slovenly, bitter and mortal god of war, Renee O’Connor and Ted Raimi are amusing, but let’s just say Hudson Lieck steals this show. The fact that she can play Lucy’s stoic Xena just as well as she can play crazy, unhinged Callisto is breathtaking. A gift to her acting trade!
I’d say the weakest part of this episode was the B storyline with Gabrielle and Joxer. It dragged quite a bit and largely made the least amount of sense. Or maybe they share that with Sisyphus, who is back on “Xena” for a second time, but with a different actor and backstory.
Episode summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Bit role actors have to get replaced sometimes, that’s understandable, but Sisyphus’s personality seems to have gone through an overhaul since we last saw him in “Death in Chains.” Not only is there no mention of his wife or the goddess whom he imprisoned, but he seems to have forgotten all of the lessons he learned about his fear of death. Nope, now he’s back—undead—and has unseated another god in a bid for immortality. I do like the twist at the end of the episode, though—that he tricked all the warlords to the island with the promise of fighting a fan monster for Ares’s godhood, but he was really trying to appease Hades by giving him ten new souls. Very Davy Jones a la “Pirates of the Caribbean.” :P
Perhaps Lucy’s pelvic injury was a blessing in disguise, because Xena in Callisto’s body leant a lot of intrigue to this episode. “Callisto” gets the invite to the island and Xena has to impersonate her. (Xena as Callisto is stuck in CGI spinning ball Tartarus. :P) The stakes are doubly high—will Xena and will Ares be found out? Xena coaches her former mentor in being human, including dealing with his hang over by “hanging his head over” the side of the boat. :P
Upsetting the balance between peaceful innocents and bloodthirsty warlords with a lack of Ares’s presence was a smart move, too, to up stakes. But it did drag on a bit, especially with Gabrielle and Joxer fighting like siblings on the island. Really, Renee was just playing a heightened version of her character, who has the tendency to be a little high strung sometimes even when Ares is in his glory. :P Ted also brought his A game when he went nuts against the fly. But the same schtick over and over again got a little stale. (Also, they seem to know everything about Sisyphus’s plot to use the monster as a ploy to get warlords fighting for the God of War title, but how when they weren’t around for the magician to explain it to them? /bad “Xena” writing.)
This is probably the first episode where Kevin makes his character—pardon the pun—human. :P I gotta appreciate Ares’s complete naiveté (and childlike surliness) to living as a mortal. I also appreciate his arrogance—only someone born as a god can handle immortality, he claims. He then attempts to put the moves on Xena in the first of the Xena/Ares/Gabrielle love triangle (though Xena and Ares have simmered with sexual tension in earlier episodes.) And he’s capricious—earnest when powerless and douchey when he’s a god again, though it’s worth noting that he does give Xena back her body at the very end of the ep. (But is it because he was being honest about changing for the better, or was it because Xena saved his life at the end? Or both? /good “Xena” writing.) At the end of the day, none of it is too surprising—Xena reclaims her body, Ares his godhood—but the seeds have been sown between these multidimensional characters. They have a complex history, complex motivations, and are played by great actors (I’ll include Lucy, hee. :P)
Have I fangirled Hudson Lieck enough this episode? (Who, I should mention, hasn’t only played Xena and Callisto, but now Xena playing Callisto. :O) Because there is no enough. You should just watch, and bask in her talent. :P
Disclaimer: No one was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap.
Favorite QuoteSisyphus:
*Gabrielle responds to Xena in Callisto’s body*
Gabrielle: Xena-- you know, I don’t know if I’m gonna get used to this. It’s so weird having your best friend in the body of your worst enemy. Could you dye your hair?
*after Gabrielle grabs his scroll*
Joxer: Who are you supposed to be, a fierce warrior trapped in the body of Gabrielle?
*brawling breaks out among the villagers over fishcakes*
Woman: Fishcakes, fishcakes, lovely fishcakes. Six for a dinar, six for a dinar. Fishcakes, lovely fishcakes—lovely fishcakes, dearie, six for a dinar.
Gabrielle: Fishcakes?
Woman: Would you like one?
Gabrielle: Oh, I’d--
Woman: They’re really good.
Man: They’re good, but a little bony. Mine are scrumptious, and ten per dinar.
Gabrielle: Ten.
Woman: Twelve per dinar, dearie.
Gabrielle: Twelve.
Woman: His are as chewy as seaweed.
Man: Hey, she’s my cust--
Woman: She’s my customer.
Gabrielle: I wanna fishcake!
Lady: No, they’re mine!
Gabrielle: Lady, I was here first!
Woman: Ahh! Put me down! Ah! Ahh!
*Ares and Gabrielle have their first mortal encounter*
Ares: Humiliating, isn’t it? But what self-respecting god of war would do this? [BELCH]
Gabrielle: That’s great-- ‘cause I’ve always wanted to slap--
Ares: Get away from me! Oh! Woh! Pain-- so that’s what it’s like-- not so bad, really.
Gabrielle: Hah, you like it, huh? Well, there’s plenty more where that came from.
*Ares lays down the plot with Xena while Gabrielle argues with the barkeep*
Ares: I want you to help me get my godhood back.
Xena: And why would I do that?
Ares: Well, I could put you back into your old body. Come on Xena, you must miss staring into those baby blues every time you pass a mirror.
Xena: My body doesn’t make me who I am. My deeds do-- and I don’t plan on letting the god of war back in business.
Gabrielle: What is this? Fish fry? Give me the good stuff.
Ares: What do you think’s happening to your friend? To these pathetic villagers? Without a sitting god of war, peaceful people have lost the self-discipline to control their anger. Come on, huh? I rest my case.
Gabrielle: Just so you know, you’ve got thirty s--.
Xena: If that’s true, how come I haven’t lost control?
Ares: Hmm! That’s the really interesting part. You see—those who have learned to channel their anger, just get more and more focused. But people who have no experience with violence totally lose it…Oh, you may despise me, Xena. But a godhood is a sacred trust. Oh, you’d love to live in a world without war, I know that. But, without me, you’re about to experience a world without peace for anyone, anywhere. Now, you just think about that, Xena!
*Xena plays Callisto with the other warrirors*
Virgilius: Callisto-- I’d heard Xena sent you to Tartarus.
Xena: Well, as you can see-- rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated.”
Tattoo Warlord: I always said Xena was over-rated. Next time I see her, I’m gonna kick her butt!
Xena: If anyone’s gonna waste the Warrior Princess, it’ll be me-- understand?
*Ares is not impressed by the ruse*
Disembodied Sisyphus Welcome, I look forward to meeting you all soon.
Ares: That is nothing like my voice.
*Later, Ares has to deal with more mortal biology*
Ares: What is this infernal throbbing in my head?!
Xena: It’s called a hangover-- it’s the price we mortals pay for drinking to excess.
Ares: And pray, why, is it called a hangover?
Xena: ’Cause, pretty soon you’re gonna hang your head over that rail? [Ares loses his cookies :P]
*Xena and Ares touch on their history*
Xena: You’re so used to pulling everyone’s strings and inflaming their passions. How does it feel depending on me, of all people?
Ares: How do you feel? Allying yourself to the best friend—and the worst enemy you’ve ever known?
*Sisyphus outs Ares to the crowd*
Sisyphus: Greetings, all. I see a familiar face who wasn’t invited. But welcome nonetheless, Ares.
Virgilius: He’s Ares. Then, who are you?
Xena: An imposter-- a conjuror with no real powers to fear.
Sisyphus: The infamous Callisto-- what a pleasure it is to finally meet you. Don’t forget-- I died and descended into Hades’ domain. I’d say my return is something more than a mere—[disappears] parlor trick. Over here, everyone!
Ares: You stole my godhood!
Sisyphus: True-- but you’re free to win it back-- if you can.
*Gabrielle and Joxer start their incessant arguing*
Joxer: See-- I told you this drainage pipe would lead right into the castle.
Gabrielle: No-- you wanted to storm the castle. I wanted to try the drainage pipe. It was me! Me! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
Joxer: You know what? Thatt is _so_ typical of you to say something like that. What’s the matter with you, anyway?!
Gabrielle: What is the matter with me is what I might do if you don’t shut up.
Joxer: Ow! Ow. It came from that way. I think we should go this way.
Gabrielle: Oh, no! We go that way.
Joxer: No, no! You’re gonna walk right into the monster!
Gabrielle: Yes! He’s really rubbing me the wrong way.
*Xena remains unimpressed by Ares’s moves, sexual or otherwise*
Ares: You’re in her body but you still have your touch--warm, firm, passionate-- yet, at the same time, gentle. Now, Callisto-- she’s all animal. You know, she-- starts like a cold fish, but-- you press the right buttons-- hold on, it’s quite a ride. Mind you, my experience with her is-- rather unique. She was in your body at the time.
Xena: When I get my body back, I gotta remember to take a long bath.
Ares: You know, when we were-- downstairs fighting-- I saw that old sparkle in your eyes, Xena. Even being in Callisto’s body can’t hide that. You enjoyed it. What surprises me is I didn’t. You know, it’s always come easily, the-- the bloodlust, the hate-- this is the first time I’ve had to suffer the consequences.
Xena: Spare me, Ares.
Ares: You don’t trust me? I can’t blame you, after all I’ve put you through. But a taste of mortality has really opened my eyes. And, who knows? Once I regain my sword, maybe things will be-- different.
Xena: A kinder, gentler god of war? We both know that’s not gonna happen.
Ares: You changed-- why not me? I never lied to you, Xena. Oh--deceived, manipulated, yeah, but-- a god need never lie.
Xena: But that’s just it, Ares-- you’re not a god anymore. So as much as I’d like to believe you-- even if you believe it--all bets’ll be off once you get your godhood back. And that’s if you do.
*after killing another warlord who attempted to kill Ares as part of Sisyphus’s competition*
Sneaky warlord: So that’s where I put that thing. Sorry for the interruption. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
*Ares offers Xena immortality*
Ares: Sure you don’t want it for yourself? You’d make a magnificent goddess of war.
Xena: Forget it, Ares. How’d you get to be a god anyway? Don’t they have some sort of character requirements?
Ares: You miss the point. For the job I have, my character’s perfect. You know where you would shine? As goddess of desire.
Xena: I said, forget it, Ares.
Ares: Well, you’d be back in your old body-- and get to live forever.
Xena: With you? I’d rather die.
Joxer loses it against the fly*
Joxer: Whereas, I am the picture of self-control. [fly buzzes near him] Come back here, you little winged thing. I’m gonna rip your wings off and mash your little body to pie-- Shh, shh. Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.
Gabrielle: You’ve snapped, haven’t you?
*Sisyphus discovers Xena’s true identity*
Sisyphus: ‘Callisto, goddess of war’ has a ring to it—or should I say, ‘Xena’? Now, how can you be in Callisto’s body? This must be your doing, Ares. Well, Xena, I do hope it is you who goes up against the Baracchus. Oh, and good news-- two more warlords have-- dropped out.
Xena: Which puts you two steps closer to getting someone else to push that rock in the Underworld. Isn’t that right?
Ares: Is that what this so-called contest is really about?
Sisyphus: No-- it’s about winners and losers.
*Ares has had enough of mortality*
Ares: I’ve been hanged, swung over a fire, and nearly shishkabobbed on razor-sharp spikes, yeah! How do you mortals get from day to day?!
*Gabrielle is unimpressed by the fan monster (and somehow knows his name)*
Gabrielle: That’s it?! That’s the Baracchus?!
Joxer: Suck on this toothpick for a while! [stabs fan]
Gabrielle: Somebody’s gonna pay for this.
*Sisyphus reveals his endgame and the game truly ends*
Ares: You wanted my sword for yourself, didn’t you?
Sisyphus: ’Send me ten of the very best warriors,’ Hades said.
Ares: Hades! I’m gonna have a word with him when I get back to Olympus.”
Sisyphus: ’When the last dies and replaces you, then, and only then, will you win Ares’ godhood.’ [goes to kill Ares]
Xena: Ares, duck!
Ares: You saved me. I won’t forget. [reclaims sword to become immortal again]
Xena: Yes, you will.
*A note of humor before Xena gets her body back*
Gabrielle: Xena-- if Ares doesn’t keep his word, and he doesn’t switch you back-- I’ll be there for you, no matter whose body you’re in.
Xena: Even a snake-haired gorgon monster?
Gabrielle: I’ll be there; I just won’t look at you.
Xena: Gabrielle, I’m proud of you. You felt the anger but you fought it. It takes a lot more strength to resist the violence-- than to surrender to it.
Gabrielle: Thank you. Now, if I can just survive the boat-ride with Joxer, I’ll be-- fine.
Xena: Trust me, you’ll be fine-- and so will I. [body switch!]
Gabrielle: Xena, it’s you, right-- not Callisto?
Xena: It’s me. Go on, test me?
Gabrielle: Whose bodies are worse being trapped in than Callisto’s?
Xena: A snake-haired gorgon-- but not by much.
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