![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
chavalah.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
scifi_rewatchI love this episode for all the campy reasons, mostly because there’s nothing else to it. :P Better post it as is because there’s nothing to seriously analyze, but there’s plenty to laugh at, from the lackluster choreography to the constant overlay of VAMPIRE EYES over everything (though plenty of the traveling shots were spookily moody on their own,) and the mashing of two Greco-Roman myths—the god Bacchae and the warrior musician Orpheus—into a completely incomprehensible story. Just go with it, guys, because Joxer is here to provide a reliable guide into the ridiculousness.
I could wonder if the vampire and werewolf themes had something to do with the premiere airing of this ep falling ten days before Halloween, but that’s likely giving the whole thing too much thought. :P On we go!
Summary:
Blurry-fast camera work slowly clues us into the fact that a man is being chased by a snarling canine creature. Elsewhere, in an aerial shot overlooking a misty forest, an extra tells Xena, Gabrielle (and Argo) that more and more young girls are disappearing from their villages. Gabrielle stops to stare out into the trees as we cut between her and the chase. Xena comes up and labels these woods as belonging to the god, Bacchus; it’s too quiet here without Orpheus’s music to tame his servants, the Bacchae. The Bacchae—what do you know—are innocent girls that have been corrupted by the god to turn into a “wild, soulless creature,” according to Gabrielle. Her soul is sealed once she’s been bitten and drinks of his blood. From then on they can take on many forms—like wolves, hint hint—and tear men limb from limb.
Exposition over, Gabs is run into headlong by Joxer! He climbs up a tree limb, quipping nervously at the wolves by his feet, while Xena gets rid of them with her whip. He’s bringing a package to Xena that “speaks for itself”—the severed, screaming head of Orpheus! :O Guess we can add zombies to the mix, too? :P
Orpheus is complaining about Xena yanking him out of his burlap bag by the hair, so Joxer sits him between his knees—hardly a better option, imho. He explains that Bacchus took his body but left his eyes and ears around so he could witness the evil the god intends to bring. Orpheus confirms that Bacchus means to make more Bacchae and he needs his lyre, which is hidden in a nearby village. He also lets us in to the fact that Xena and Bacchus have a history, of course. :P And like many, Orpheus isn’t a fan of the warrior princess. But no time for grudges now! They have to stick the musician’s head onto a scarecrow body so they can get into town. On the way, Xena provides Gabs with the backstory about how, when her army fought Bacchus, Orpheus’s innocent wife was caught in the crossfire. Typical story that’s much more moving in other eps, so let’s move on.
Said town is preparing for a festival, supposedly to fight off Bacchus. They go to Orpheus’s friend’s house, where supposedly the lyre is hidden, but the friend turns up hanged! Xena leaves Gabrielle to watch over Orpheus and Joxer while she goes searching for their precious object. Elsewhere, human-form Bacchae—with fangs, red eyes and greasy hair—address Bacchus himself, who is a beefy, red version of Lucifer. Although they couldn’t retrieve Orpheus’s head, he laughs manically over his new plan to involve the warrior princess.
Things are taking a weird turn in town. Gabrielle’s attention is caught by the drum music and constant dancing, while Joxer and Orpheus argue over how music is for sissies. Downstairs Gabs curiously weaves her way into the party and our sultry “Xena” music fare takes on some rap lyrics. Gabs is lured in by some women who are quite obviously Bacchae—so much for repelling them with this shindig—and awkward dancing ensues. Outside, a couple Bacchae have the lyre! They’re stopped in their tracks by some douchy goons; the ladies immediately entice them closer and then attack. But then Xena’s there to save the day! As the dudes look on bewilderingly, Xena is drawn into a supernatural fight complete with bat-like Bacchae flying into her. One attacks from above and seems to bite her neck! :O Xena swings them off her and they’re gone…but so are the Bacchae.
Inside, Joxer and Orpheus-on-a-stick scour the dance scene from Gabrielle. They pull their trance-like friend from the party; she still scoffs that anything was amiss. Orpheus’s stick has been grabbed by a burly dude dancing without a shirt, but Xena yanks it back and rejoins the others. Since the Bacchae (and ergo Bacchus) have the lyre, they’ll just have to travel to him to get it. Xena’s all for leaving Joxer behind, until he taunts her with the fact that he can actually play the lyre (leading to a defensive quip with Orpheus. :P) So things are going ok…until Joxer notices two drips of blood down Xena’s neck. :O He pulls Gabs aside—the warrior princess has been bitten! She’ll be a Bacchae now!
The two of them argue over this—it could be anything! Gabs maintains as Joxer attempts to sharpen her staff. Only a matter of time before she turns into a Bacchae. As Xena calls back to them, they quickly assume nonchalance. Later that night, Joxer watches suspiciously while Xena tends to her armor and Gabs cuts into some meat—only to carve her hand instead. Joxer attempts to say something all-knowing about looming danger, but Xena just brushes him off and goes to talk with Orpheus. He’s a bit depressed, being “a musician with no hands,” and is quick to remind Xena that they aren’t friends. Although Xena protests that she did her best to keep Bacchus at bay, Orpheus’s wife, Eurydice, still paid the ultimate price. Perhaps Orpheus blames Xena in part because his lover was trying to befriend the warrior princess.
Joxer claims he’ll be sleeping with one eye open, only to be snoring in the next scene. :P But when Xena looms over him, face grimaced with a knife, he does startle awake as she stabs a spider. Oh, comedic timing. He tries to get her to spill about how one can kill a Bacchae, but of course, no luck. Back in his lair, Bacchus cuts his hand and fills a chalice with his blood, promising an eternal breed of Bacchae tomorrow night. Mwu-hahaha. :P
Xena and co enter a creepy graveyard to put last week’s to shame. Turns out the only way to kill a Bacchae is with a Dryad bone. And what do you know—the Dryads are friendly! …of a sort; they drag Joxer through an open grave. The girls grab from him as occasionally his head bobs up—and then a severed hand! :O Oh, comedic timing. Finally he’s free, sans boots, and the Dryad skeletons come out, looking a lot like the winged minions we saw in the underworld. Xena gets out her sword to bat at them and dislodge some bones; she also has to chakram one off of Orpheus’s head as it tries to pull him off of his skeleton body. As they gather up their prize, a sheepish Joxer finally admits to an unimpressed Xena that he thought she had been bitten. But guess who has been and slowly turns around with crazy eyes, teeth and hair—none other than party girl Gabrielle!
The warrior princess tries talking soothingly to her rabid friend, but Gabs ultimately flies off—to Bacchus’s lair, the others assume. They follow her into the catacombs where Joxer puts his detective skills to work, surmising that someone is trapped right behind them—turns out to be Orpheus in his burlap bag. :P He has some stuff on his mind—like how Xena should be searching for the lyre rather than her friend. Same ol’ selfish Xena, says Orpheus, putting her interests first. Can’t save the girl. :/ So Orpheus gets Joxer alone, playing on his fear of death, and advises him to take control. If Gabs bites Xena she’ll be a Bacchae too… And Joxer seems to insinuate that he’ll stab Gabrielle with a Dryad bone! :O Looks like he’ll get his chance immediately—Gabs dangles like a bat and grabs him! Xena throws her off before she can bite him, but also stops Joxer from killing the bard.
Gabrielle flies off again, this time locating the bacchae dancing by a fire. She joins in, trancelike, as Bacchus announces “it is time.” He flies into the throng of his subjects, somewhere near Gabs, and hands out the chalice. The girls begin to drink! As the our other heroes draw near, Orpheus apologizes for his vengeful attitude. Sudden change of heart. :P And suddenly, Gabs has the chalice to her lips!
Xena uses her trusty chakram to solve that problem; the chalice flies and spills red onto the floor. As the crowd parts Xena finds Orpheus’s lyre near Bacchus’s throne and sends Joxer to get it. The Bacchae split, mostly fighting Xena but some going after Joxer. The warrior princess goes into brawl mode, amidst demon-fighting kinda music, and even pulls out her spitting fire trick. Bacchus picks up his chalice and again entices Gabs to drink. Tension is mounting as long-nailed Gabby considers, Xena is attacked from above and Joxer is attacked from behind…but finally he’s able to throw the ladies off and, along with Orpheus’s singing, performs the most half-assed attempt at song that I’ve ever heard. :”> It works briefly in stopping the attacks. But maybe out of sympathy for the audience, Bacchus flies up there and backhands our boy. Xena’s able to use her Dryad bones on some Bacchae and then tries with Bacchus—when he’s stabbed he falls near the fire below! The Bacchae gather over him…his he dead? Nope—in standard fashion his eyes open on a close shot and he reminds Xena that only a Bacchae can kill him. And wuddaya know—here comes Bacchae Gab, flying up to confront her one-time friend.
Xena weakly raises her Dryad bone stake as Gabs grabs her neck from behind—but she can’t do it. Seemingly resigned, she tells Gabs to bite her, and in a slow-mo, suggestive scene, Gabby bites Xena close up. When we zoom out, Xena has joined her with the freaky costuming. Bacchus cackles in his signature style; he’s won, and added Xena to his Bacchae army! …or HAS he?? The two ladies jump and Xena stabs Bacchus in the chest! :O He stumbles and explodes amidst dizzying flashing of the girls…until finally things calm, the music goes back to normal, and we see standard-looking bewildered female extras again. :P Xena and Gabrielle are, of course, back to normal, too. As is Orpheus—with Bacchus’s death he gets his body back, so there’s no reason for Joxer to keep holding his hand up at an odd angle because the Orpheus actor is so tall. :P But Orpheus is also immortal, so he disappears with an incorporeal thank you to Xena. Looks like the hatchet’s been buried again.
1990s midi music starts up as our heroes return to the bright, open road; Xena declares that this is Eurydice’s favorite tune (sheesh! Bad taste there. :P) The lovers are likely reunited. And speaking of people sticking together, Joxer wants to know what’s up for them. The girls share a wary look before Gabs goes into the story of Medusa—another demonic sorceress who toils with men and turns them to stone. Suddenly Joxer has other things to do and bids them farewell; Xena calls this Gabrielle’s gift to her. :P Aaaaw.
Disclaimer: No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, a few Dryads lost their heads.
Thoughts:
Sheesh, where to start? I’ll pick things apart even though this episode was never meant to be scrutinized closely, I’m sure. :P
Unlike some, I actually like most of the soundtrack for this episode, disregarding the horrible lyre-playing stuff. I feel the same about the camera work and visual editing—really gave a theme and tone to the episode.
The Joxer/Orpheus banter was Stooge-like but fun; Ted Raimi really knows how to play his character. We got lots of irony, too—like the village’s party being a treat for Bacchae rather than a trap, or the misdirection with who exactly got bitten.
Still, this ep left me with a couple of questions of varying importance. Joxer might still find Gabrielle annoying at this point (and vice versa, of course,) but would he really be so eager to KILL her?? Or was this a spur of the moment thing to say, given current tensions? And after Bacchus died, did ALL of the girls turn back to normal? What happened to that backstory where drinking from the cup made them eternally cursed? Then again, I suppose I should just accept Bacchus’s death releasing them.
…what IS it with a god dying on this show anyway? Gods are immortal; it shouldn’t be so easy for Xena to kill them, right? A-teehee. Should back away from spoilers now. :P
Finally, this might be the first episode of “Xena” with really overt lesbian subtext (of course it would come in the campiest of campy episodes. :P) In general with all the girl-on-girl dancing to sultry music and specifically with Xena and Gabrielle, especially with that hot bite scene at the end. This show is definitely appropriating vampires to its own ends (and I like it, for all its ridiculousness.) Beyond the overt sexuality, Gabrielle’s description of the Bacchae felt really moodily gothic, like it was out of a Christina Rosetti poem. :P /geek The Greco-Roman hodge podge of mythology was the weakest point of the episode—Bacchus and Orpheus are definitely more forgettable here. But luckily we have Joxer. :P And our girls! And far meatier stuff coming up.
Favorite Quotes:
*Joxer makes a pun about Xena’s “package”*
Joxier: Package-- from Orpheus to Xena.
Xena: Orpheus?
Gabrielle: What is it?
Joxer: Speaks for itself.
*Joxer and Orpheus start their mythology-influenced banter*
Orpheus: You can be a warrior and a musician. I was.
Joxer: Yeah, right. And a hydra makes a good house pet.
*Joxer’s pitch to join the team as they continue to walk away from him*
Joxer: Wait a minute! If she’s going, I’m going, too! Hey, I assembled this team! OK, fine. I guess you don’t want someone who plays the lyre!
Orpheus: You?!
Joxer: I took the music lessons, OK?
*Joxer tries to glean information from a Xena he thinks has turned Bacchae*
Joxer: Yeah, yeah-- I was just-- thinking about the best way to kill Bacchae. Not that I haven’t killed them before, you know.
Xena: There’s only one way to kill a Bacchae. We’ll get what we need on the way to the catacombs. For now, try and get some sleep.
Joxer: Sure! No problem! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
*after chakraming the chalice away from Gabrielle*
Xena: She’s not interested, Bacchus.
*Bacchus’s most common line*
Bacchus: Mwu-hahahahahahahaha!
*Xena and Gabrielle get the last laugh*
Gabrielle: You know-- you almost died trying to save me. I really want to do something to thank you.
Joxer: Farewell, my warrior chums!
Xena: You just did.
___
I could wonder if the vampire and werewolf themes had something to do with the premiere airing of this ep falling ten days before Halloween, but that’s likely giving the whole thing too much thought. :P On we go!
Summary:
Blurry-fast camera work slowly clues us into the fact that a man is being chased by a snarling canine creature. Elsewhere, in an aerial shot overlooking a misty forest, an extra tells Xena, Gabrielle (and Argo) that more and more young girls are disappearing from their villages. Gabrielle stops to stare out into the trees as we cut between her and the chase. Xena comes up and labels these woods as belonging to the god, Bacchus; it’s too quiet here without Orpheus’s music to tame his servants, the Bacchae. The Bacchae—what do you know—are innocent girls that have been corrupted by the god to turn into a “wild, soulless creature,” according to Gabrielle. Her soul is sealed once she’s been bitten and drinks of his blood. From then on they can take on many forms—like wolves, hint hint—and tear men limb from limb.
Exposition over, Gabs is run into headlong by Joxer! He climbs up a tree limb, quipping nervously at the wolves by his feet, while Xena gets rid of them with her whip. He’s bringing a package to Xena that “speaks for itself”—the severed, screaming head of Orpheus! :O Guess we can add zombies to the mix, too? :P
Orpheus is complaining about Xena yanking him out of his burlap bag by the hair, so Joxer sits him between his knees—hardly a better option, imho. He explains that Bacchus took his body but left his eyes and ears around so he could witness the evil the god intends to bring. Orpheus confirms that Bacchus means to make more Bacchae and he needs his lyre, which is hidden in a nearby village. He also lets us in to the fact that Xena and Bacchus have a history, of course. :P And like many, Orpheus isn’t a fan of the warrior princess. But no time for grudges now! They have to stick the musician’s head onto a scarecrow body so they can get into town. On the way, Xena provides Gabs with the backstory about how, when her army fought Bacchus, Orpheus’s innocent wife was caught in the crossfire. Typical story that’s much more moving in other eps, so let’s move on.
Said town is preparing for a festival, supposedly to fight off Bacchus. They go to Orpheus’s friend’s house, where supposedly the lyre is hidden, but the friend turns up hanged! Xena leaves Gabrielle to watch over Orpheus and Joxer while she goes searching for their precious object. Elsewhere, human-form Bacchae—with fangs, red eyes and greasy hair—address Bacchus himself, who is a beefy, red version of Lucifer. Although they couldn’t retrieve Orpheus’s head, he laughs manically over his new plan to involve the warrior princess.
Things are taking a weird turn in town. Gabrielle’s attention is caught by the drum music and constant dancing, while Joxer and Orpheus argue over how music is for sissies. Downstairs Gabs curiously weaves her way into the party and our sultry “Xena” music fare takes on some rap lyrics. Gabs is lured in by some women who are quite obviously Bacchae—so much for repelling them with this shindig—and awkward dancing ensues. Outside, a couple Bacchae have the lyre! They’re stopped in their tracks by some douchy goons; the ladies immediately entice them closer and then attack. But then Xena’s there to save the day! As the dudes look on bewilderingly, Xena is drawn into a supernatural fight complete with bat-like Bacchae flying into her. One attacks from above and seems to bite her neck! :O Xena swings them off her and they’re gone…but so are the Bacchae.
Inside, Joxer and Orpheus-on-a-stick scour the dance scene from Gabrielle. They pull their trance-like friend from the party; she still scoffs that anything was amiss. Orpheus’s stick has been grabbed by a burly dude dancing without a shirt, but Xena yanks it back and rejoins the others. Since the Bacchae (and ergo Bacchus) have the lyre, they’ll just have to travel to him to get it. Xena’s all for leaving Joxer behind, until he taunts her with the fact that he can actually play the lyre (leading to a defensive quip with Orpheus. :P) So things are going ok…until Joxer notices two drips of blood down Xena’s neck. :O He pulls Gabs aside—the warrior princess has been bitten! She’ll be a Bacchae now!
The two of them argue over this—it could be anything! Gabs maintains as Joxer attempts to sharpen her staff. Only a matter of time before she turns into a Bacchae. As Xena calls back to them, they quickly assume nonchalance. Later that night, Joxer watches suspiciously while Xena tends to her armor and Gabs cuts into some meat—only to carve her hand instead. Joxer attempts to say something all-knowing about looming danger, but Xena just brushes him off and goes to talk with Orpheus. He’s a bit depressed, being “a musician with no hands,” and is quick to remind Xena that they aren’t friends. Although Xena protests that she did her best to keep Bacchus at bay, Orpheus’s wife, Eurydice, still paid the ultimate price. Perhaps Orpheus blames Xena in part because his lover was trying to befriend the warrior princess.
Joxer claims he’ll be sleeping with one eye open, only to be snoring in the next scene. :P But when Xena looms over him, face grimaced with a knife, he does startle awake as she stabs a spider. Oh, comedic timing. He tries to get her to spill about how one can kill a Bacchae, but of course, no luck. Back in his lair, Bacchus cuts his hand and fills a chalice with his blood, promising an eternal breed of Bacchae tomorrow night. Mwu-hahaha. :P
Xena and co enter a creepy graveyard to put last week’s to shame. Turns out the only way to kill a Bacchae is with a Dryad bone. And what do you know—the Dryads are friendly! …of a sort; they drag Joxer through an open grave. The girls grab from him as occasionally his head bobs up—and then a severed hand! :O Oh, comedic timing. Finally he’s free, sans boots, and the Dryad skeletons come out, looking a lot like the winged minions we saw in the underworld. Xena gets out her sword to bat at them and dislodge some bones; she also has to chakram one off of Orpheus’s head as it tries to pull him off of his skeleton body. As they gather up their prize, a sheepish Joxer finally admits to an unimpressed Xena that he thought she had been bitten. But guess who has been and slowly turns around with crazy eyes, teeth and hair—none other than party girl Gabrielle!
The warrior princess tries talking soothingly to her rabid friend, but Gabs ultimately flies off—to Bacchus’s lair, the others assume. They follow her into the catacombs where Joxer puts his detective skills to work, surmising that someone is trapped right behind them—turns out to be Orpheus in his burlap bag. :P He has some stuff on his mind—like how Xena should be searching for the lyre rather than her friend. Same ol’ selfish Xena, says Orpheus, putting her interests first. Can’t save the girl. :/ So Orpheus gets Joxer alone, playing on his fear of death, and advises him to take control. If Gabs bites Xena she’ll be a Bacchae too… And Joxer seems to insinuate that he’ll stab Gabrielle with a Dryad bone! :O Looks like he’ll get his chance immediately—Gabs dangles like a bat and grabs him! Xena throws her off before she can bite him, but also stops Joxer from killing the bard.
Gabrielle flies off again, this time locating the bacchae dancing by a fire. She joins in, trancelike, as Bacchus announces “it is time.” He flies into the throng of his subjects, somewhere near Gabs, and hands out the chalice. The girls begin to drink! As the our other heroes draw near, Orpheus apologizes for his vengeful attitude. Sudden change of heart. :P And suddenly, Gabs has the chalice to her lips!
Xena uses her trusty chakram to solve that problem; the chalice flies and spills red onto the floor. As the crowd parts Xena finds Orpheus’s lyre near Bacchus’s throne and sends Joxer to get it. The Bacchae split, mostly fighting Xena but some going after Joxer. The warrior princess goes into brawl mode, amidst demon-fighting kinda music, and even pulls out her spitting fire trick. Bacchus picks up his chalice and again entices Gabs to drink. Tension is mounting as long-nailed Gabby considers, Xena is attacked from above and Joxer is attacked from behind…but finally he’s able to throw the ladies off and, along with Orpheus’s singing, performs the most half-assed attempt at song that I’ve ever heard. :”> It works briefly in stopping the attacks. But maybe out of sympathy for the audience, Bacchus flies up there and backhands our boy. Xena’s able to use her Dryad bones on some Bacchae and then tries with Bacchus—when he’s stabbed he falls near the fire below! The Bacchae gather over him…his he dead? Nope—in standard fashion his eyes open on a close shot and he reminds Xena that only a Bacchae can kill him. And wuddaya know—here comes Bacchae Gab, flying up to confront her one-time friend.
Xena weakly raises her Dryad bone stake as Gabs grabs her neck from behind—but she can’t do it. Seemingly resigned, she tells Gabs to bite her, and in a slow-mo, suggestive scene, Gabby bites Xena close up. When we zoom out, Xena has joined her with the freaky costuming. Bacchus cackles in his signature style; he’s won, and added Xena to his Bacchae army! …or HAS he?? The two ladies jump and Xena stabs Bacchus in the chest! :O He stumbles and explodes amidst dizzying flashing of the girls…until finally things calm, the music goes back to normal, and we see standard-looking bewildered female extras again. :P Xena and Gabrielle are, of course, back to normal, too. As is Orpheus—with Bacchus’s death he gets his body back, so there’s no reason for Joxer to keep holding his hand up at an odd angle because the Orpheus actor is so tall. :P But Orpheus is also immortal, so he disappears with an incorporeal thank you to Xena. Looks like the hatchet’s been buried again.
1990s midi music starts up as our heroes return to the bright, open road; Xena declares that this is Eurydice’s favorite tune (sheesh! Bad taste there. :P) The lovers are likely reunited. And speaking of people sticking together, Joxer wants to know what’s up for them. The girls share a wary look before Gabs goes into the story of Medusa—another demonic sorceress who toils with men and turns them to stone. Suddenly Joxer has other things to do and bids them farewell; Xena calls this Gabrielle’s gift to her. :P Aaaaw.
Disclaimer: No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, a few Dryads lost their heads.
Thoughts:
Sheesh, where to start? I’ll pick things apart even though this episode was never meant to be scrutinized closely, I’m sure. :P
Unlike some, I actually like most of the soundtrack for this episode, disregarding the horrible lyre-playing stuff. I feel the same about the camera work and visual editing—really gave a theme and tone to the episode.
The Joxer/Orpheus banter was Stooge-like but fun; Ted Raimi really knows how to play his character. We got lots of irony, too—like the village’s party being a treat for Bacchae rather than a trap, or the misdirection with who exactly got bitten.
Still, this ep left me with a couple of questions of varying importance. Joxer might still find Gabrielle annoying at this point (and vice versa, of course,) but would he really be so eager to KILL her?? Or was this a spur of the moment thing to say, given current tensions? And after Bacchus died, did ALL of the girls turn back to normal? What happened to that backstory where drinking from the cup made them eternally cursed? Then again, I suppose I should just accept Bacchus’s death releasing them.
…what IS it with a god dying on this show anyway? Gods are immortal; it shouldn’t be so easy for Xena to kill them, right? A-teehee. Should back away from spoilers now. :P
Finally, this might be the first episode of “Xena” with really overt lesbian subtext (of course it would come in the campiest of campy episodes. :P) In general with all the girl-on-girl dancing to sultry music and specifically with Xena and Gabrielle, especially with that hot bite scene at the end. This show is definitely appropriating vampires to its own ends (and I like it, for all its ridiculousness.) Beyond the overt sexuality, Gabrielle’s description of the Bacchae felt really moodily gothic, like it was out of a Christina Rosetti poem. :P /geek The Greco-Roman hodge podge of mythology was the weakest point of the episode—Bacchus and Orpheus are definitely more forgettable here. But luckily we have Joxer. :P And our girls! And far meatier stuff coming up.
Favorite Quotes:
*Joxer makes a pun about Xena’s “package”*
Joxier: Package-- from Orpheus to Xena.
Xena: Orpheus?
Gabrielle: What is it?
Joxer: Speaks for itself.
*Joxer and Orpheus start their mythology-influenced banter*
Orpheus: You can be a warrior and a musician. I was.
Joxer: Yeah, right. And a hydra makes a good house pet.
*Joxer’s pitch to join the team as they continue to walk away from him*
Joxer: Wait a minute! If she’s going, I’m going, too! Hey, I assembled this team! OK, fine. I guess you don’t want someone who plays the lyre!
Orpheus: You?!
Joxer: I took the music lessons, OK?
*Joxer tries to glean information from a Xena he thinks has turned Bacchae*
Joxer: Yeah, yeah-- I was just-- thinking about the best way to kill Bacchae. Not that I haven’t killed them before, you know.
Xena: There’s only one way to kill a Bacchae. We’ll get what we need on the way to the catacombs. For now, try and get some sleep.
Joxer: Sure! No problem! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
*after chakraming the chalice away from Gabrielle*
Xena: She’s not interested, Bacchus.
*Bacchus’s most common line*
Bacchus: Mwu-hahahahahahahaha!
*Xena and Gabrielle get the last laugh*
Gabrielle: You know-- you almost died trying to save me. I really want to do something to thank you.
Joxer: Farewell, my warrior chums!
Xena: You just did.
___
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}