[identity profile] chavalah.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] scifi_rewatch
Having a bad memory (or maybe just paying extra attention this time) I expected to dislike this episode. Biblical tales bring out a hornet's nest of issues, like the clash of the modern day with ancient beliefs, or the fact that most of the viewing world understands even the Hebrew Bible as Christian (hey, your religious mythos will get it’s chance on this show! :P) I have mixed feelings about the Abraham/Isaac sacrifice tale in “Altered States” last season; they had to change around some pretty key points to make it fit with the Xenaverse. This episode turned out differently, since there’s nothing inherently problematic in identifying with David fighting Goliath. So the Xenaverse brought back the “Israelites” label, but failed in any way to mention that there was another Hebrew-centric episode (“The Royal Couple of Thieves”) awhile back; talk about a show continuity fail.

At the same time, I feel ironic shame in admitting that the Israelites were the weakest part of this episode. Gabrielle gets another boytoy in the form of the future King David—noooooez. Of course the Bard would fall in love with the Psalmist. :P Turning Goliath into a complex character was far more interesting to me. This didn’t negate David’s ultimate actions, but it gave an emotional richness to a story that would ultimately be a predictable battle about good vs evil.

And there’s plenty of actual complexity in religious mythology—just saying. :P Guess I still get defensive here. Be that as it may, the Warrior Princess and Babbling Bard travel through time and space to make a definitive mark on several eras of history. :P


Summary:
Xena leads Gabrielle through a dusky graveyard of giant bones; apparently that race doesn’t bury their dead. She explains how she and a “friend” they’re about to meet fought against the giant Gareth ten years ago. As Xena stops to inspect some bones, Gabs sees a living giant—but it turns out to be none other than Xena’s friend, Goliath. Gabby excuses herself to be indignant in private while Xena and Goliath catch up—she’s been busy changing up her life, and he’s working for a local army in rounding up thieves and collecting enough money to exact revenge on Gareth. Xena looks perturbed by this choice.

Gabrielle wanders and mutters about how Xena should have mentioned Goliath’s “giant” descriptor, but suddenly a band of goons is upon her! The goons have a bunch of prisoners behind them, and ye standard lovestruck boy dashes out to save Gabs, but only gets knocked on the head by his captor for his trouble. They think she’s alone since she’s talking to a bush. :P But nope—here’s Xena now! She fights and Gab fights and the young man gets up and fights. Finally, when Xena has the head goon on the ground Goliath finally comes out and is revealed to be the employee of these guys. But he quickly introduces Xena and Gabrielle as friends; the guy on the ground is Philistine General Dagon. Biblical scholars can guess who the prisoners are. :P

Dagon talks with a couple prisoners, filling us in on the backstory. First, he criticizes the lovestruck boy, David, for having a sling. :P Then Jonathan steps in, claiming “his people” don’t steal, then Dogon counters with his father, King Saul, being a nudnik. :P This is our land! Says Philistine Dogon. No, this is our land! Says Israelite Jonathan. Lock up those ingrates! The boys are dragged off as Xena looks at them in concern. But Dogon is more interested in inviting her to dinner.

He feasts on meat and blabbers to Xena about how the Israelites are stealing game and rejecting Philistine civilization. Xena’s obviously not impressed, but the fool still offers her a job. He’s so focused on her that at least Gabs can sneak some food in her lap under the table. :P Dogon gets on a schtick about how people who believe in one god are irrational, and that’s when the girls take their leave.

Outside they split up—Gabrielle to the prisoners, Xena to Goliath. Gabs sneaks the food to David. He’s a little wary of her now because he doesn’t like Xena’s reputation. Thank goodness he has faith! The two of them talk!flirt briefly about how he writes psalms and she writes stories—like the one where Xena will get them out of here. :P They’re interrupted by a guard coming in and uncovering their secret escape tunnel. Uh oh… Meanwhile, Xena is trying to talk sense to Goliath. She wants him to do the right thing and help break the Israelites out, but he’s bent on vengeance. Gareth apparently killed his whole family. He reminds Xena that she already owes him for her life.

Gabrielle tries to talk the Philistines out of killing the Israelites—Dagon consents to just killing David. :P He’s dragged to a chopping block while Jonathan is restrained. Gabs, however, is not, and she puts her head atop his. You’ll have to kill the both of us. Dagon shrugs—ok then. :P The axe falls…and is immediately chakramed by Xena, of course. She’s still atop Argo but when the Philistines come near, she kicks them away. She throws the chakram again to release David and Gabs from their bonds, leading them to free the rest and start an all-out fight. Xena has a great move where she flips off the horse and grabs a wheel in time for the goons to stab into it—she chucks it and they all fall like dominos. :P The Israelites are releasing the horses! Dagon commands for Goliath’s horn to be sounded, but the giant only observes the action from the bushes. The Israelites, Xena and Gabrielle escape! Huzzah!

They make it to a strange temple that I guess is supposed to be Hebrew. :P David and Jonathan both thank Xena and sickly King Saul comes out to meet her. David and Gabs continue to flirt. :P In Philistine land, Dagon works hard to keep Goliath on his side. He doesn’t want to betray Xena, but what about more money? Or…Gareth’s location? :-O Cyncher. Goliath promises to help the Philistines battle the Israelites, even if Xena gets in the way.

The Israelites have moved their wounded into a cave for treatment. Jonathan comes in with a map—the Philistines are coming and Goliath is destroying outposts. Xena proposes a “winner take all” contest—her vs Goliath. But, uh, isn’t he your friend? David asks. He’s fighting for the wrong side, Xena replies. Also, she knows a giant’s weak spot. :/

David has removed himself to somewhere private, penning his psalms, when Gabrielle comes in with soup. He’s writing about Jonathan’s exploits against the Philistines. What about yours? Gabs asks. Pfft, Jonathan’s going to be our next king! David replies. But Gabrielle saw him save Jonathan’s life when they were escaping, and she starts to recite the opening of her poem about his bravery. But this lovefest is interrupted by another female entering with food—David’s fiancée, Sara! Gabrielle again excuses herself to mutter in private—pretty stupid that she’d think David would be single, even if the rest of her boytoys were. :P That being said, she finds Xena overlooking a thunderstorm by one of the temple windows. She recounts to her friend how when Goliath saved her life, Gareth made the move and killed his family. :/ They hold hands, and Xeen admits that she owes the giant she’s about to face much more than her life.

In the morning, the Israelites gather with Xena as general. Dagon leads the Philistines across the way—all of these men look identical, except for David who is inexplicably wearing no armor. :P (Neither is Gabs, but she never does.) Makes it difficult to tell what’s going on once the fighting starts. But I’m getting ahead of myself! For now, Xena realizes that Goliath’s weak spot—the skin above his eyes—is covered by a helmet. I mean hey, he’d be pretty dumb not to do that. :P Dagon has accepted Xena’s mano-a-mano proposal, but of course once she’s distracted (running from Goliath who’s toppling stones down on her,) he has his archers target the Israelites. But Xena’s badass enough to take a break to chakram the bows, at least. :P At one point, Goliath upturns a cart on Jonathan. He’s about to get Xena, but when she’s backed against the wall she conveniently finds a bag of salt to throw in his eyes. :P When he’s distracted, she and the rest of her party retreat to the cave.

Jonathan is declared dead on arrival, and Saul and David grieve. :/ Alone, Xena and Gabrielle discuss how they’ll have to form a plan to get Goliath to take his helmet off. But she says she can’t deliver the killing blow—not because the giant is her friend, but because with Jonathan’s death, the Israelites need one of their own to step up as leader. And wuddaya know, at that moment David is stepping up with his slingshot in offering!

Goliath is back in the graveyard, promising his family vengeance, when Xena approaches from behind. She tries again to get him to do the right thing, not trust Dagon and not give his life to vengeance. His wife was a peace-loving person, she reminds him. Yeah, but she’s dead now, Goliath grouses. And he has to deal with the fact that he wasn’t there for them for the rest of his life. Seems like too much of a burden to bear. :/ And both Xena and Goliath know this will be the last time they meet here.

Gabrielle and David are dealing with a less intense awkwardness as they skirt around the issue that he should’ve told her that he was engaged. Anywho. With that out of the way, they promise to be friends, discuss the value of slingshots, and then David recites a psalm that just came into his head—“The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.” :P Uh huh. The music is pretty, and Gabs looked moved. Not to mention that just before he dreamed this up, he was equating God to a Shepherd for the Bard’s understanding of the monotheism thing.

Outside, the weather is acting a bit weird as the Israelites line up. David and Xena stayed up all night working on a plan to remove the helmet, but it’s too cloudy now! :/ The Philistines are less concerned with the weather; Goliath has his helmet on and Dagon looks resolute. They laugh as David comes near—pfft, who is this little boy? They want Xena, of course. But David gets to swinging his slingshot and running around as Goliath tries not to stumble after him. He slings a rock at Goliath’s chest—nothing. He slings one past his head—definitely nothing. But then the clouds part! The sun shines down and Xena orders the Israelites—they put up their shields to reflect the light directly into Goliath’s eyes. He grows confused and dizzy, and takes off his helmet…time to strike. David hits him in between the eyes, and he reacts in a devastatingly comic slow fall. :P The Israelites cheer! Now David is resolute and the Philistines run away with a “this isn’t the end of it!” The new leader is carried off as Xena and Gabrielle stay by dying Goliath. The Warrior Princess soothes him off with a “your war is over.” In her thoughts, walking to the giant graveyard, she hopes he’s with his family and promises to remember him as a friend. :/ Meep.

Disclaimer: No Bible myths were irreparably mangled during the production of this motion picture.

Thoughts:
The Xena/Goliath stuff was definitely strongest for me. I’m always up for making a one-dimensional villain into someone with a more complex backstory. Lucy Lawless really nailed Xena’s conflict and grief throughout. I even bought that evil Xena from ten years ago might have wanted him to save his family—we saw last episode how she started down this path to save hers, after all. These one on one personal scenes are where “Xena” is most genuine. Bringing in the Israelites, Philistines, psalms and Lord Shepherd is a little more hokey. :P

And as much as I love personal scenes, David and Gabrielle didn’t do it for me. :P At least he wasn’t completely available as a boytoy, which maybe makes him an improvement from the season one crop. (Or maybe not—he seemed to have the hots for multiple ladies, much like the real David. :P) Their flirting was ridiculous. The talk of gods was pretty forced, too. I do love Psalm 23, though.

Kind of surprising that Jonathan was in there at all; he couldn’t be a general, since that was Xena’s role. He was really more of a plot device as the guy David built up in his mind rather than himself. Yanno, “Xena,” of all shows, could’ve taken this further and hinted at their romantic relationship, which several scholars ascribe to. But alas, perhaps that was too much work for such minor characters. :P I did note, however, that David’s fiancée wasn’t Jonathan’s sister, Michal. Who is this Sara person? Maybe one of David’s other million wives. :P

Another complaint—since when did the lands of Israel and Judah become a part of Greece? :P I mean sheesh, at least in the future, Xenaverse actually travels to other lands when it picks up different cultural stories.

A closing note—I liked a lot of the haunting atmosphere of this episode—the gloomy graveyard, Xena and Gabrielle by the stormy window. Just made the world seem a little more expansive and real to me.

Favorite Quotes:

*Gabrielle, muttering in the woods to herself*
Gabrielle: You know, you think she’d mention that her friend was
taller than most pine trees.


*Dagon introduces us to the Biblical setting*
Dagon: Any friend of Goliath’s is a friend of the Philistines.


*Xena assesses Dagon’s game over dinner*
Dagon: It’s a shame they don’t manage their resources better. They really need our help.

Xena: What does that mean?

Dagon: We’re going to bring civilization to the Israelites. More wine!

Xena: So, you’re going to enslave them, in other words.

Dagon: No man or woman is forced to work for us. They can go their own way, if they wish.

Xena: As long as they don’t mind giving up their land or going without food.


*Gabrielle’s life-saving move goes awry*
Gabrielle: You’re gonna have to kill the both of us!

David: Are you out of your mind?!

Gabrielle: I know what I’m doing?

Dagon: All right.

Gabrielle: What?!

Dagon: I said, ‘All right.’ We’ll kill the both of you.


*Xena explains the past conflict to Gabrielle*
Xena: We were caught off-guard one morning. Goliath was taking his wife and children to safety when I was surrounded and badly injured. I yelled at him to get back-- but he wouldn’t. He refused to leave me.

Gabrielle: He left his family?

Xena: While he was saving me, Gareth killed them all. I owe him much more than my life.


*Goliath explains his position to Xena*
Xena: Do you think your wife would want you to hurt innocent people to avenge her?

Goliath: No! She wouldn’t! She was peace-loving and forgiving! And now, she’s dead! Because I wasn’t there when my family needed me! I have to live with that! But these innocent people of yours stand between me and Gareth. And if you stand with them, you’ll be my main target. I’m sorry.

Xena: No, I’m sorry. This is the last time we’ll be meeting in this place. You were a good friend, Goliath.

Goliath: So were you. See you on the battlefield.


___

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