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scifi_rewatchI’m just lucky that all fit into the subject line. :P
This episode is largely just a bit of fluff. A nice opportunity to catch up on some of the earlier storylines…plus the chance to give Gabby an entourage of boy toys rather than just one. *rolls eyes* Ah well.
If there was one “lesson learned,” perhaps it was that Gabby figured out that living her adventures with Xena actually brings her closer to her dream of being a great bard…but I’m really reading too much into things, hee. Just enjoy the popcorn!
We open on a random, nighttime Xena fight! The action freezes and a man in a tavern tells Gabrielle, “just hold it there a minute!” That story takes place during the day, right? OK then—sudden new locale for the fight. We’re following the beginning of “The Reckoning,” and Gabs is recounting Xena fighting hooded Ares. We flash forward to the villagers accusing her of murdering their men. Gabrielle tries to defend Xena at a trial, the villagers don’t listen and snarl that it serves her right as she’s about to be hanged, until finally she’s saved by the dead men come back to life (always pays to trick Ares into helping you. :P) The folks in the tavern applaud Gabs. A young man wanders over and asks who trained her—no one, Gab says—well, why not come to the performing bards competition in Athens? He’s a bard, too, and that’s where he’s headed. Gab goes :-O and the boy’s father hurries up, telling his son not to give the girl “false hope.” Her story might have been “cute” but bardship isn’t for women; “stories about housework just aren’t popular.” Oooh, snap! You know Gabs is in it now. :P
Xena comes in, all excited about finding a job that involves fighting a Cyclops. We might all remember how Gab has beef with those buggers…but Gabs has her head in the clouds. “How far to Athens?” she tells a shocked warrior princess. Later, they sit in a restaurant where Gabby is explaining that this was her dream—or maybe she just wants to show up that douche. :P Enrolling in the academy would take up to five years, though—“maybe less if I study real hard.” Yikes. Could this be it?? Gabs maintains that Xeen would hardly know she’s gone, but of course Xena rebuffs her. Still, she should follow her heart. She’s a good storyteller. Xena only remembers one story from childhood—two orphans have adventures searching for their families…Gab chimes in with the ending—they realize that their family was with them the whole time, traveling the world together. Blatant hint, show, we get it. :P “Thanks for being my family,” Xena says. Aaw.
A stuttering bard, Twickenham, is recounting some Greco-Roman tale that was made into a movie a few decades back. Let me just get my disclaimer out of the way—there are a few old movie clips coming up, but I rarely know exactly what myth they’re referring to. :”> Alas. Anywho, the footage keeps stalling on some dudes trying to lift their swords cos Twickenham keeps stuttering. The boy Gab met in the tavern tries to coach him, but then he sees our Gab approaching! She made it! She notices that there are lots of people there…the boy points out Euripides (hi, familiar face!), who can tell a great story “if you can stay awake long enough…” note the audience dozing off around him while he pontificates…and then there’s Stallonus, who is so animated while he talks that he falls over. The boy doesn’t want to leave Gabs with his real name…he’s embarrassed of it…so how about Draco? Gab makes a face, and of course recounts the Xena/Draco story from the premiere episode of the series. Their fight on scaffolding, then heads of villagers, until finally Xena wins and Draco departs. By the time we zoom back to the present a crowd has gathered around Gabrielle and they clap appreciatively. Gabs suggests that they call the boy “Orion,” and he agrees. Apparently his dad likes it, too, because he refers to his son as Orion from here on in as well. Convenient. :P
At sign ins, Euripides is put in the “Hall of Zeus, Room 12.” Oh 12…the blessing of the zodiac, Euripides proclaims. Apparently this bodes well. Gabs is next…she approaches the registrar, Kellos, but Kellos can’t find her scroll in her basket. Well isn’t that odd…Gab probes the basket herself and sends all the scrolls flying. Convenient time to slip a new one in… *whistles* :P Kellos notes that there are no lodgings listed. Really? “I specifically asked for the double bed with the view.” Oh Gab. Kellos is not amused, and she puts her in the servant quarters. “All artists suffer for their art,” Gabs proclaims. She sounds a bit like Euripides there, hee.
Docenius, the head of the panel, urges everyone into the auditorium. He explains that four people from the competition will be chosen to study at the academy. As he goes into a speech about “great storytelling,” Gabrielle notes something suspicious behind her…when Orion questions her she says “I’m just thinking like a friend of mine.” She tries to shrug it off as Docenius continues, “How do we translate an event into a riveting, engaging story?” Suddenly, the suspicious man from behind runs on stage and stabs him! Yikes! Many run forward as the man jumps out the window. Gab is leaning over Docenius’s body…until he sits up and explains that it was all an act to illustrate his point. Damn. Hope no one had heart complications. Gabrielle, still reeling a little, calls it a cheat, a manipulation. She says the real story would take place after he died… “death can be the beginning of a wonderful tale,” she says, rising. She shifts into “Death in Chains,” recounting how King Sisyphus captured Celesta and she and Xena had to battle evil, undead warriors. Ultimately, “we returned her to her eternal flame.” The evil zombies were killed, but so was “someone I cared for,” eg the boytoy of that episode, who disappears “Ghost” style. It was a touching scene…nice to see that Gabs at least remembers him…though she certainly has her pick of living boys now, hee. All of whom are watching her, enraptured, as she concludes with how the moral is to accept death as part of life. “There’s no moral to your faking of death,” she chastises a put-out Docenius. The people applaud!
Gab and the boy toys exit the building laughing…Orion says he wants to talk to her later about storytelling. But suddenly his father, Polonius, is upon them, and yanks the boy away, lecturing on keeping his distance from the competition. Alas. Later, we see more old movie footage while Stallonus’s eager voiceover talks about “all these guys fighting…” He attacks his companions with rags, mimicking the chains they’re using in the movie. They’re in Gab’s quarters, her and the boy toys, which seems devoid of servants. :P What’s the moral? Gab presses Stallonus. “He kills all the bad guys!” Stallonus answers unconvincingly. Gab says it sounds empty…though exciting. Most of her stories have nice endings… “sap up the wrap up.” I’m not sure I always agree with her but I love that line, hee. “Eve if you twist the muse’s melodious sign of truth into a deceptive siren’s call?” Euripides asks. “Do you always talk like that?” Gabs responds. :P Pfft, says Euripides. Why should we be trusting you; you don’t even sound like you know Xena. “Tales of her are chilling.” Let’s go back to a “Hercules” ep, when Xena was still evil! She seduces Iolaus, and her “sexual wiles” turn him against Herc. Why is that always considered the worst thing a woman could do. *sigh* Anywho. Euripides labels it a dastardly scheme to turn two comrades against each other. Stallonus counters—he knows some stories about Xena—of course they all involve fighting. :P Cue the martial arts clips!
Xena’s bff counters all of this—that’s only half of the story. “Inside all of us, there’s a yearning to do good. It’s the same with the warrior princess.” She recounts the tale of the gauntlet back in “Hercules.” Evil Xena saves a baby from her soldiers. So they beat her and leave her to die. “But now that good has taken root, the will to survive was too great,” Gabrielle intones as the Xena of the past rises. Her destiny now is to fight for the innocent. The bards are all enraptured again, but Gabrielle suddenly looks a little awkward. She asks them all to leave so that she can rest. Euripides shakes her hand and the others bid her adieu; oh, boy toys. :P Gab is only thinking about Xena now, wondering what type of adventures she’s up to. Sounds like a good segway, doesn’t it? Well, things don’t go that way. :P
The next day Orion practices telling a story for Gab, but she says she “couldn’t see it.” Orion is frustrated—it used to be so easy; he’s been telling stories since he was five. Gabby notes that he was staring at her the whole time he was talking; she asks why. It’s to gauge her reaction, Orion explains. Polonius told him he should change up the story based on whether the receiver looks bored. When he was little he used to close his eyes and see the story in his head, he recalls. He used to tell stories for himself and no one else. “If you don’t like it nobody else will,” Gab cautions. Orion counters that Polonius says he can enjoy his stories once he’s enrolled in the academy. Even if you’re miserable? Says empathetic Gab. But they don’t have time to grouse over it more because Kellos is back; they need to see Gabs now. Yikes.
In the auditorium, Docenius tells her they’ve been tipped off to the fact that she didn’t pre-register for the competition. Who’s the snitch? Why Polonius, of course, who steps up and recounts his tale that Orion just told Gabs about this—she didn’t know beforehand. Nice guy, really. Docenius tells her to pack up and leave. Someone’s still upset for being upstaged earlier. :P Gabs doesn’t seem to put up much of a fight! The boytoys are all depressed as she packs up her bags. No worries, Gabs says, she has somewhere to go. …maybe she’s glad to be out of the competition since she belongs with Xena anyway. ♥ “Bravery comes forth from your radiant heart like the sap from a wounded oak,” Euripides intones. Gabs thanks him and tells Orion it’s not his fault his dad is a douche. “Goodbyes are hard….” Twickenham stutters. Gab leans against the bunk and says she has to say goodbye a lot. Looks like it’s time for another story!
She recounts meeting Iolaus during “Prometheus” when haggling with the merchant. Later he and Hercules join her and Xena during a fight. But when he was dying from his wound in the cave, “we really opened up to one another.” Past Gabrielle tells Iolaus the story of how people used to have two heads and four limbs, and when they were split they searched the earth for their other half. Later, we see the goodbye kiss. …I can’t help but wonder why Gabs is thinking of Iolaus here and not Perdicas, her once betrothed, whom she just saw last eppy. :P I guess we didn’t need a reminder about that one as much, hee. Anywho, Twickenham suddenly has an idea! He and the other boy toys gather in the corner, whispering. They ask her to stay through tomorrow’s competition and Gabs smiles.
In the morning she sneaks into the auditorium as the competition begins. Docenius introduces the great bard, Gastacis, who is acting as a senior judge. Twickenham comes on stage, stutters, then speaks clearly: “None of us will be performing unless Gabrielle is allowed to compete!” Docenius balks—Gabs is a cheater who was disqualified; the same can happen to Twickenham! All of the boytoys stand up. “Then we shall all join the army of the dispossessed!” Euripides intones, and Orion repeats the sentiment more plainly. “Don’t do this, at least not for me,” Gabs protests. She tells the judges that she’ll talk to the boytoys but Gastacis is apparently intrigued; he whispers to Docenius that he wants to see the girl perform! “When you’re ready,” Docenius snarls.
Gabs gets up on stage, twittering that she wasn’t expecting to have to do this…but “then again, I wasn’t expecting to find a baby in a stream.” Time for “Cradle of Hope”! She and Xena peer at the basket and know they have to find a home for the baby—not an easy task. “The child was quite courageous in the face of danger,” Gabrielle narrates as we see Xena doing some ass-kicking with the baby in one hand. Then she throws the baby up, fights, and then catches him again. When the main antagonist comes out she throws the baby to Gabs. “In the end, goodness won out and the child landed in safe hands,” says present Gabrielle. Sheesh, way to beef yourself up there. :P The crowd from the story cheers, and Xena and Gabrielle smile at each other. Back in the present, Gasticis is very moved. “What you have done here is madness. It’s madness that this young woman was left out of this competition!” Oh, snap! “Art will never take second place to rules and regulations.” Here, here! The crowd agrees while Docenius smolders in his seat. The boytoys clap and Polonius walks out in a huff.
Gabrielle and the other boy toys move backstage as Orion competes, telling the story of Atlas. After the applause he joins the others where they clap him on the soldier…but Polonius, reappearing, isn’t too impressed. “That was terrible!” He drags Orion to him and orders him to start at the beginning—right now! Orion sighs but does as he’s told. “I sing of Atlas,” he says, moving his head around. “What di I tell you? Keep your eyes on me!” Polonius snaps, bopping him on the forehead. Orion starts again; “I sing of Atlas, the greatest Titan…” “The greatest OF Titans; come on, focus, focus!” Polonius grouses with more head-pokes. “He’d do better if you let him be himself!” Gabs protests. But Polonius tells Orion not to listen to her; “she just wants you to lose!” Orion starts again in a sarcastic tone—Polonius grabs him by the hair. “Give me a performance!” Damn. Worst stage mom ever. :P Orion breaks away and snarls “stop it!” before running out. Gabs and Polonius share a glare before the father goes after the son.
Later, Stallonus tells another fight story, though there seem to be more details this time. They’re back in Gabrielle’s quarters and he falls off the bunk due to his animation. “I think if you had a little more character stuff and a little less action, you might live through the competition,” is Gabrielle’s advice. Polonius comes in and snarls to Gab that she won. What is he talking about? Gab asks. Orion quit the competition, Polonius says. He left for home. “I hope you’re happy with yourself,” he says, leaving. Gabs looks stunned!
She runs after Orion, who is on the road. Don’t give up! She implores the lad. You told me if it isn’t fun anymore don’t do it, Orion reminds her. …well, she said something like that, I guess. “Then make it fun again,” says Gab. “It’s been so long since I’ve told a story my way I don’t know if I can!” Orion complains. Gabrielle says Polonius loves him; he’s just confused on how to show it, which sounds remarkably sympathetic to me. Gabrielle’s advice is “stop focusing on the destination. It’s the journey that’s the fun part.” That’s what she learned from her travels with Xena; “every day is a new adventure.” So look forward to that and don’t think about winning. He’ll never get there if he doesn’t enjoy the process. Back at the academy Orion confronts Polonius, and tells him he’s competing in the finals but he’s doing it “my way.” Go Orion!
Gab’s story at the finals is about how she met Xena. She fought off Draco’s men who were looking to enslave Gabby and her neighbors. “We learned how to care for each other,” Gabs intones as Xena stands over Lyceus’s tomb. They became a great team that went on adventures—like when Xena chased down Gabby on her runaway horse while riding in a chariot! Gabrielle jumps in, after a little persuasion, and then they fight two warlords. “Together they learned life’s mysteries,” says present Gab. In the past, Xena compares her life to that of a lake with a rock thrown in. There are ripples, and yes they calm eventually, but the rock is still there, under the surface. The lake is forever changed. I always loved this metaphor. Great story, Gabs. :P
Kallas and Gastacis are dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs, though Docenius still seems unmoved. :P Everyone else is clapping. The boytoys congratulate her in their usual ways…though Gabs does ultimately get Euripides to whittle his statement down to “I liked it a lot.” :P And now it’s time for Orion to take the stage! Gabrielle smiles encouragingly from behind the curtain. “I sing of Spartacus, rebel gladiator…” Orion begins, eyes closed, and now at least I know what movie we’re jumping to. :P I think this means he sees it! “…who fell in love while fighting for freedom.” Sounds good, sounds good! Spartacus and his lover share a tender moment, followed by the famous “I am Spartacus!” scene. “In spite of his great suffering, his dreams were realized,” Orion concludes.. The lover holds up a baby while Spartacus languishes on his cross. His son! She’ll tell the boy all about his father, she promises, and his fight for freedom. I should really watch this, shouldn’t I. :P
Back at the academy Gabs and Orion walk outside. Orion laments that he wishes Gabs would stay; “it wasn’t meant to be,” says Gab. Damn straight. She congratulates him for getting in and tells him to get Euripides to relax a little. Stallonus didn’t make the cut, “but he’s more suited for the Olympics,” says Gab. But Twickenham got in, so yay! Wonder who the fourth turned out to be. I guess there were other contestants in there somewhere? :P Anywho. “Thanks for telling me how to be myself,” Orion tells Gab. They share a hug, and Gabrielle asks his real name, “in case you get famous or something.” It’s Homer, the bashful boy says. Of course. :P Gestacis wants to call him “the blind bard” because he closes his eyes…nice bit of history in there. They bid adieu as Polonius comes up, looking more contented than ever before. He tells his son he’s proud of him. “Thanks for asking. Thanks for caring,” is the response. Sounds like one of those “sap up the wrap up” endings, hee. They smile at each other, and then at Gabby, who is still walking away.
Later, on a country road, Gab side-steps into present Xena and Argo. “So who won?” the Warrior Princess asks. “I did,” Gab answers, only slightly bashfully. Xena stops. Then why did you come back? She wants to know. “While they’re telling adventures I can be living them,” is Gab’s reply. Or it could be that family thing from before. *whistles*, not that they bring it up again. It’s great to have her back, Xena intones…and then we pan over to some grinning bandits! Great timing. Or “great story,” as Gab says. Hee.
The disclaimer for this one is a simple shoutout: The producers would like to acknowledge and pay tribute to Stanley Kubrick, Kirk Douglas and all those who were involved with the making of the film classic "SPARTACUS". Additional thanks to Steve Reeves. Aaw.
So yeah, pretty fluffy episode. Though I barely noticed that Lucy wasn’t in it because there were so many “Xena” flashbacks, lol. I love how Gabs showed up all the boytoys--and the establishment-- I do. :P Such a bunch of quirky characters; seems like the art of bardship really needed her expertise! Perhaps she should have stayed on after all…but then we wouldn’t have our show, of course. That won’t do.
I do like that this episode proves that Gabrielle gets her inspiration from her time with Xena. The others tell tales from mythology; Gabrielle tells stories she’s actually lived through. Xena, perhaps, is her muse…don’t count on Gabs giving up being a bard just because she isn’t at the academy. She may grow famous enough in her own right to rival Homer! At least in the “Xenaverse,” hee.
___
This episode is largely just a bit of fluff. A nice opportunity to catch up on some of the earlier storylines…plus the chance to give Gabby an entourage of boy toys rather than just one. *rolls eyes* Ah well.
If there was one “lesson learned,” perhaps it was that Gabby figured out that living her adventures with Xena actually brings her closer to her dream of being a great bard…but I’m really reading too much into things, hee. Just enjoy the popcorn!
We open on a random, nighttime Xena fight! The action freezes and a man in a tavern tells Gabrielle, “just hold it there a minute!” That story takes place during the day, right? OK then—sudden new locale for the fight. We’re following the beginning of “The Reckoning,” and Gabs is recounting Xena fighting hooded Ares. We flash forward to the villagers accusing her of murdering their men. Gabrielle tries to defend Xena at a trial, the villagers don’t listen and snarl that it serves her right as she’s about to be hanged, until finally she’s saved by the dead men come back to life (always pays to trick Ares into helping you. :P) The folks in the tavern applaud Gabs. A young man wanders over and asks who trained her—no one, Gab says—well, why not come to the performing bards competition in Athens? He’s a bard, too, and that’s where he’s headed. Gab goes :-O and the boy’s father hurries up, telling his son not to give the girl “false hope.” Her story might have been “cute” but bardship isn’t for women; “stories about housework just aren’t popular.” Oooh, snap! You know Gabs is in it now. :P
Xena comes in, all excited about finding a job that involves fighting a Cyclops. We might all remember how Gab has beef with those buggers…but Gabs has her head in the clouds. “How far to Athens?” she tells a shocked warrior princess. Later, they sit in a restaurant where Gabby is explaining that this was her dream—or maybe she just wants to show up that douche. :P Enrolling in the academy would take up to five years, though—“maybe less if I study real hard.” Yikes. Could this be it?? Gabs maintains that Xeen would hardly know she’s gone, but of course Xena rebuffs her. Still, she should follow her heart. She’s a good storyteller. Xena only remembers one story from childhood—two orphans have adventures searching for their families…Gab chimes in with the ending—they realize that their family was with them the whole time, traveling the world together. Blatant hint, show, we get it. :P “Thanks for being my family,” Xena says. Aaw.
A stuttering bard, Twickenham, is recounting some Greco-Roman tale that was made into a movie a few decades back. Let me just get my disclaimer out of the way—there are a few old movie clips coming up, but I rarely know exactly what myth they’re referring to. :”> Alas. Anywho, the footage keeps stalling on some dudes trying to lift their swords cos Twickenham keeps stuttering. The boy Gab met in the tavern tries to coach him, but then he sees our Gab approaching! She made it! She notices that there are lots of people there…the boy points out Euripides (hi, familiar face!), who can tell a great story “if you can stay awake long enough…” note the audience dozing off around him while he pontificates…and then there’s Stallonus, who is so animated while he talks that he falls over. The boy doesn’t want to leave Gabs with his real name…he’s embarrassed of it…so how about Draco? Gab makes a face, and of course recounts the Xena/Draco story from the premiere episode of the series. Their fight on scaffolding, then heads of villagers, until finally Xena wins and Draco departs. By the time we zoom back to the present a crowd has gathered around Gabrielle and they clap appreciatively. Gabs suggests that they call the boy “Orion,” and he agrees. Apparently his dad likes it, too, because he refers to his son as Orion from here on in as well. Convenient. :P
At sign ins, Euripides is put in the “Hall of Zeus, Room 12.” Oh 12…the blessing of the zodiac, Euripides proclaims. Apparently this bodes well. Gabs is next…she approaches the registrar, Kellos, but Kellos can’t find her scroll in her basket. Well isn’t that odd…Gab probes the basket herself and sends all the scrolls flying. Convenient time to slip a new one in… *whistles* :P Kellos notes that there are no lodgings listed. Really? “I specifically asked for the double bed with the view.” Oh Gab. Kellos is not amused, and she puts her in the servant quarters. “All artists suffer for their art,” Gabs proclaims. She sounds a bit like Euripides there, hee.
Docenius, the head of the panel, urges everyone into the auditorium. He explains that four people from the competition will be chosen to study at the academy. As he goes into a speech about “great storytelling,” Gabrielle notes something suspicious behind her…when Orion questions her she says “I’m just thinking like a friend of mine.” She tries to shrug it off as Docenius continues, “How do we translate an event into a riveting, engaging story?” Suddenly, the suspicious man from behind runs on stage and stabs him! Yikes! Many run forward as the man jumps out the window. Gab is leaning over Docenius’s body…until he sits up and explains that it was all an act to illustrate his point. Damn. Hope no one had heart complications. Gabrielle, still reeling a little, calls it a cheat, a manipulation. She says the real story would take place after he died… “death can be the beginning of a wonderful tale,” she says, rising. She shifts into “Death in Chains,” recounting how King Sisyphus captured Celesta and she and Xena had to battle evil, undead warriors. Ultimately, “we returned her to her eternal flame.” The evil zombies were killed, but so was “someone I cared for,” eg the boytoy of that episode, who disappears “Ghost” style. It was a touching scene…nice to see that Gabs at least remembers him…though she certainly has her pick of living boys now, hee. All of whom are watching her, enraptured, as she concludes with how the moral is to accept death as part of life. “There’s no moral to your faking of death,” she chastises a put-out Docenius. The people applaud!
Gab and the boy toys exit the building laughing…Orion says he wants to talk to her later about storytelling. But suddenly his father, Polonius, is upon them, and yanks the boy away, lecturing on keeping his distance from the competition. Alas. Later, we see more old movie footage while Stallonus’s eager voiceover talks about “all these guys fighting…” He attacks his companions with rags, mimicking the chains they’re using in the movie. They’re in Gab’s quarters, her and the boy toys, which seems devoid of servants. :P What’s the moral? Gab presses Stallonus. “He kills all the bad guys!” Stallonus answers unconvincingly. Gab says it sounds empty…though exciting. Most of her stories have nice endings… “sap up the wrap up.” I’m not sure I always agree with her but I love that line, hee. “Eve if you twist the muse’s melodious sign of truth into a deceptive siren’s call?” Euripides asks. “Do you always talk like that?” Gabs responds. :P Pfft, says Euripides. Why should we be trusting you; you don’t even sound like you know Xena. “Tales of her are chilling.” Let’s go back to a “Hercules” ep, when Xena was still evil! She seduces Iolaus, and her “sexual wiles” turn him against Herc. Why is that always considered the worst thing a woman could do. *sigh* Anywho. Euripides labels it a dastardly scheme to turn two comrades against each other. Stallonus counters—he knows some stories about Xena—of course they all involve fighting. :P Cue the martial arts clips!
Xena’s bff counters all of this—that’s only half of the story. “Inside all of us, there’s a yearning to do good. It’s the same with the warrior princess.” She recounts the tale of the gauntlet back in “Hercules.” Evil Xena saves a baby from her soldiers. So they beat her and leave her to die. “But now that good has taken root, the will to survive was too great,” Gabrielle intones as the Xena of the past rises. Her destiny now is to fight for the innocent. The bards are all enraptured again, but Gabrielle suddenly looks a little awkward. She asks them all to leave so that she can rest. Euripides shakes her hand and the others bid her adieu; oh, boy toys. :P Gab is only thinking about Xena now, wondering what type of adventures she’s up to. Sounds like a good segway, doesn’t it? Well, things don’t go that way. :P
The next day Orion practices telling a story for Gab, but she says she “couldn’t see it.” Orion is frustrated—it used to be so easy; he’s been telling stories since he was five. Gabby notes that he was staring at her the whole time he was talking; she asks why. It’s to gauge her reaction, Orion explains. Polonius told him he should change up the story based on whether the receiver looks bored. When he was little he used to close his eyes and see the story in his head, he recalls. He used to tell stories for himself and no one else. “If you don’t like it nobody else will,” Gab cautions. Orion counters that Polonius says he can enjoy his stories once he’s enrolled in the academy. Even if you’re miserable? Says empathetic Gab. But they don’t have time to grouse over it more because Kellos is back; they need to see Gabs now. Yikes.
In the auditorium, Docenius tells her they’ve been tipped off to the fact that she didn’t pre-register for the competition. Who’s the snitch? Why Polonius, of course, who steps up and recounts his tale that Orion just told Gabs about this—she didn’t know beforehand. Nice guy, really. Docenius tells her to pack up and leave. Someone’s still upset for being upstaged earlier. :P Gabs doesn’t seem to put up much of a fight! The boytoys are all depressed as she packs up her bags. No worries, Gabs says, she has somewhere to go. …maybe she’s glad to be out of the competition since she belongs with Xena anyway. ♥ “Bravery comes forth from your radiant heart like the sap from a wounded oak,” Euripides intones. Gabs thanks him and tells Orion it’s not his fault his dad is a douche. “Goodbyes are hard….” Twickenham stutters. Gab leans against the bunk and says she has to say goodbye a lot. Looks like it’s time for another story!
She recounts meeting Iolaus during “Prometheus” when haggling with the merchant. Later he and Hercules join her and Xena during a fight. But when he was dying from his wound in the cave, “we really opened up to one another.” Past Gabrielle tells Iolaus the story of how people used to have two heads and four limbs, and when they were split they searched the earth for their other half. Later, we see the goodbye kiss. …I can’t help but wonder why Gabs is thinking of Iolaus here and not Perdicas, her once betrothed, whom she just saw last eppy. :P I guess we didn’t need a reminder about that one as much, hee. Anywho, Twickenham suddenly has an idea! He and the other boy toys gather in the corner, whispering. They ask her to stay through tomorrow’s competition and Gabs smiles.
In the morning she sneaks into the auditorium as the competition begins. Docenius introduces the great bard, Gastacis, who is acting as a senior judge. Twickenham comes on stage, stutters, then speaks clearly: “None of us will be performing unless Gabrielle is allowed to compete!” Docenius balks—Gabs is a cheater who was disqualified; the same can happen to Twickenham! All of the boytoys stand up. “Then we shall all join the army of the dispossessed!” Euripides intones, and Orion repeats the sentiment more plainly. “Don’t do this, at least not for me,” Gabs protests. She tells the judges that she’ll talk to the boytoys but Gastacis is apparently intrigued; he whispers to Docenius that he wants to see the girl perform! “When you’re ready,” Docenius snarls.
Gabs gets up on stage, twittering that she wasn’t expecting to have to do this…but “then again, I wasn’t expecting to find a baby in a stream.” Time for “Cradle of Hope”! She and Xena peer at the basket and know they have to find a home for the baby—not an easy task. “The child was quite courageous in the face of danger,” Gabrielle narrates as we see Xena doing some ass-kicking with the baby in one hand. Then she throws the baby up, fights, and then catches him again. When the main antagonist comes out she throws the baby to Gabs. “In the end, goodness won out and the child landed in safe hands,” says present Gabrielle. Sheesh, way to beef yourself up there. :P The crowd from the story cheers, and Xena and Gabrielle smile at each other. Back in the present, Gasticis is very moved. “What you have done here is madness. It’s madness that this young woman was left out of this competition!” Oh, snap! “Art will never take second place to rules and regulations.” Here, here! The crowd agrees while Docenius smolders in his seat. The boytoys clap and Polonius walks out in a huff.
Gabrielle and the other boy toys move backstage as Orion competes, telling the story of Atlas. After the applause he joins the others where they clap him on the soldier…but Polonius, reappearing, isn’t too impressed. “That was terrible!” He drags Orion to him and orders him to start at the beginning—right now! Orion sighs but does as he’s told. “I sing of Atlas,” he says, moving his head around. “What di I tell you? Keep your eyes on me!” Polonius snaps, bopping him on the forehead. Orion starts again; “I sing of Atlas, the greatest Titan…” “The greatest OF Titans; come on, focus, focus!” Polonius grouses with more head-pokes. “He’d do better if you let him be himself!” Gabs protests. But Polonius tells Orion not to listen to her; “she just wants you to lose!” Orion starts again in a sarcastic tone—Polonius grabs him by the hair. “Give me a performance!” Damn. Worst stage mom ever. :P Orion breaks away and snarls “stop it!” before running out. Gabs and Polonius share a glare before the father goes after the son.
Later, Stallonus tells another fight story, though there seem to be more details this time. They’re back in Gabrielle’s quarters and he falls off the bunk due to his animation. “I think if you had a little more character stuff and a little less action, you might live through the competition,” is Gabrielle’s advice. Polonius comes in and snarls to Gab that she won. What is he talking about? Gab asks. Orion quit the competition, Polonius says. He left for home. “I hope you’re happy with yourself,” he says, leaving. Gabs looks stunned!
She runs after Orion, who is on the road. Don’t give up! She implores the lad. You told me if it isn’t fun anymore don’t do it, Orion reminds her. …well, she said something like that, I guess. “Then make it fun again,” says Gab. “It’s been so long since I’ve told a story my way I don’t know if I can!” Orion complains. Gabrielle says Polonius loves him; he’s just confused on how to show it, which sounds remarkably sympathetic to me. Gabrielle’s advice is “stop focusing on the destination. It’s the journey that’s the fun part.” That’s what she learned from her travels with Xena; “every day is a new adventure.” So look forward to that and don’t think about winning. He’ll never get there if he doesn’t enjoy the process. Back at the academy Orion confronts Polonius, and tells him he’s competing in the finals but he’s doing it “my way.” Go Orion!
Gab’s story at the finals is about how she met Xena. She fought off Draco’s men who were looking to enslave Gabby and her neighbors. “We learned how to care for each other,” Gabs intones as Xena stands over Lyceus’s tomb. They became a great team that went on adventures—like when Xena chased down Gabby on her runaway horse while riding in a chariot! Gabrielle jumps in, after a little persuasion, and then they fight two warlords. “Together they learned life’s mysteries,” says present Gab. In the past, Xena compares her life to that of a lake with a rock thrown in. There are ripples, and yes they calm eventually, but the rock is still there, under the surface. The lake is forever changed. I always loved this metaphor. Great story, Gabs. :P
Kallas and Gastacis are dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs, though Docenius still seems unmoved. :P Everyone else is clapping. The boytoys congratulate her in their usual ways…though Gabs does ultimately get Euripides to whittle his statement down to “I liked it a lot.” :P And now it’s time for Orion to take the stage! Gabrielle smiles encouragingly from behind the curtain. “I sing of Spartacus, rebel gladiator…” Orion begins, eyes closed, and now at least I know what movie we’re jumping to. :P I think this means he sees it! “…who fell in love while fighting for freedom.” Sounds good, sounds good! Spartacus and his lover share a tender moment, followed by the famous “I am Spartacus!” scene. “In spite of his great suffering, his dreams were realized,” Orion concludes.. The lover holds up a baby while Spartacus languishes on his cross. His son! She’ll tell the boy all about his father, she promises, and his fight for freedom. I should really watch this, shouldn’t I. :P
Back at the academy Gabs and Orion walk outside. Orion laments that he wishes Gabs would stay; “it wasn’t meant to be,” says Gab. Damn straight. She congratulates him for getting in and tells him to get Euripides to relax a little. Stallonus didn’t make the cut, “but he’s more suited for the Olympics,” says Gab. But Twickenham got in, so yay! Wonder who the fourth turned out to be. I guess there were other contestants in there somewhere? :P Anywho. “Thanks for telling me how to be myself,” Orion tells Gab. They share a hug, and Gabrielle asks his real name, “in case you get famous or something.” It’s Homer, the bashful boy says. Of course. :P Gestacis wants to call him “the blind bard” because he closes his eyes…nice bit of history in there. They bid adieu as Polonius comes up, looking more contented than ever before. He tells his son he’s proud of him. “Thanks for asking. Thanks for caring,” is the response. Sounds like one of those “sap up the wrap up” endings, hee. They smile at each other, and then at Gabby, who is still walking away.
Later, on a country road, Gab side-steps into present Xena and Argo. “So who won?” the Warrior Princess asks. “I did,” Gab answers, only slightly bashfully. Xena stops. Then why did you come back? She wants to know. “While they’re telling adventures I can be living them,” is Gab’s reply. Or it could be that family thing from before. *whistles*, not that they bring it up again. It’s great to have her back, Xena intones…and then we pan over to some grinning bandits! Great timing. Or “great story,” as Gab says. Hee.
The disclaimer for this one is a simple shoutout: The producers would like to acknowledge and pay tribute to Stanley Kubrick, Kirk Douglas and all those who were involved with the making of the film classic "SPARTACUS". Additional thanks to Steve Reeves. Aaw.
So yeah, pretty fluffy episode. Though I barely noticed that Lucy wasn’t in it because there were so many “Xena” flashbacks, lol. I love how Gabs showed up all the boytoys--and the establishment-- I do. :P Such a bunch of quirky characters; seems like the art of bardship really needed her expertise! Perhaps she should have stayed on after all…but then we wouldn’t have our show, of course. That won’t do.
I do like that this episode proves that Gabrielle gets her inspiration from her time with Xena. The others tell tales from mythology; Gabrielle tells stories she’s actually lived through. Xena, perhaps, is her muse…don’t count on Gabs giving up being a bard just because she isn’t at the academy. She may grow famous enough in her own right to rival Homer! At least in the “Xenaverse,” hee.
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