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scifi_rewatchIt’s not unusual for Xena to enter a real piece of history or mythology and make it her own, but I’m particularly drawn to the show’s interpretation of Helen of Troy for being so feminist. In the real world, “the face that launched a thousands ships” is a convenient way for blood-thirsty men to blame their own natures on a woman’s wiles. “Xena” keeps with the idea that that Helen was an integral catalyst for the war…but it questions the underlying motives of her lovers, whether they, in fact, actually do love her, and what the heck it is that she might want out of her own life.
And as a nice contrast to this story we have Gabrielle and Perdicas—not just any episodic boy toy but the fiancé she left to travel the world with Xena. Back then he was resentful of her choices…but what about now, since he’s also left home for a greater cause? You’ll have to jump under the cut to find out! :P
Queasy camera work and bad lighting open the show…there’s a woman in bed and a shadowy attacker who guts all of her protectors. The woman, Helen of Troy, wakes in fear. The man beside her, Parris, groggily reminds her that these nightmares aren’t real. “Menalaus and his army are exhausted; victory for Troy is at hand,” he promises. “I wish I could believe that,” Helen responds, still breathing hard. Parris dismisses her concerns; they make her less beautiful, “and after all, isn’t that what I’ve been fighting for?” Yuck. Doesn’t seem lovey to me as he falls back to sleep.
Helen finds her personal guard, Miltaedes, and gives him a parcel to bring to Xena. Xena knows everyone. :P Also she and Gabs are near Troy right now—convenient—though they decide not to stop there for extra provisions (food supply’s running low) because of the ongoing 10-year battle. Though it’s worth noting that a few eps back, Xena and Ares discussed several heroes from that war—Hector, Agamemnon, Achilles—already being dead. But we all know that “Xena” makes up its own mythology, hee.
There’s trouble on the road! A man is getting beaten by a band of goons. Of course Xena has to ride Argo into the fray to dispense some justice. She snaps one’s neck while sitting on his shoulders, which sounds both awesome and graphic. Gabrielle, now a bit more of a fighter, whacks some goons with her staff. Finally Xena slices a goon’s cheek and at his wide-eyed fear she gives the signal for him and his family to run away from here. When they’re finally alone she rushes to the mortally wounded man—Miltaedes! He dispatches the parcel to Xena—Helen’s tiara. The princess wants Xena to come to Troy. Gabrielle shares the audience’s shock that Xena knows this famous woman; Xena explains it as they knew each other in Sparta, before the war. Of course. :P The warrior princess promises she’ll go and then Miltaedes dies. Pretty sad, actually.
Let us pan to crucified skeletons, bones on wheels, spiders climbing out of skulls! Lovely stuff. :P Xena and Gabrielle crouch nearby…this skeleton graveyard decorates the land in front of Troy’s castle. Somewhere out there the Greek army lurks…Gabs wants to know the plan for getting past them. Xena responds with a grab and run! Subtle. Suddenly, soldiers jump out of the brush! The girls fight…Xena chakrams someone in the chest.
From the wall Perdicas (new cast member but referenced by an extra) recognizes Gabrielle. He demands that the gates are opened. Troy’s soldiers are inclined to listen to him, apparently; a few heft off the wooden barricade and Xena and Gabs run towards them. Perdicas, in armor, comes out to help them fight. They barely make it in time before the flaming arrows hit the door, but what can you do. :P Once safe Gabrielle attempts to introduce herself…while Perdicas is turning around and taking off his helmet. No introductions needed! :P Xena voices the general confusion—weren’t you a farmer, man? “Not anymore,” Perdicas responds, sheathing his sword for effect. Gabrielle is still stunned.
Meanwhile, elsewhere, King Menalaus of the Greeks/Helen’s first husband is discussing plans with a shadowy figure. Uh oh. They’re interrupted by a soldier who tells them that Xena broke through their defenses to join up with the Trojans. Menalaus is a little concerned, but fortunately he can ask the shadowy figure to take care of her. “We don’t want a wolf among our sheep, now do we?” he asks ominously.
Xena is telling Perdicas that she came here to fight, so Gabby’s ex-finace suggests that she talks to Deiphobus, Parris’s brother. (I’m glad they didn’t stick with Parris’s canon brother, Hector, for this role, that’s all I’m saying. :P) Xena poo-poos this; she wants to see Helen and Parris directly. But that’s against regulations! Perdicas protests. “Well, it’s never bothered me before…” oh Xena. So sassy. :P She promises she’ll spread the word that he tried to stop her. Very kind. She leaves the former lovebirds together to talk awkwardly over each other. “Good to see you…” Fortunately they’re interrupted by a sudden Greek attack outside the wall. Perdicas barks out orders and tells Gabs to find cover. Meanwhile Deiphobus has found Perdicas; he’s angry that the lad opened the door for the ladies. Perdicas points out that they did help fight off the Greeks earlier. He then admits that Xena is on her way to Parris and Helen now. “If anything happens to them I will hold you responsible,” Deiphobus warns.
Helen brushes her hair in her bedchamber; Xena appears behind her in the mirror. They hug hello. “We’ve had our differences in the past but you’re still a friend,” Xena says, handing back the tiara. I have to admit intrigue, considering the majority of innocent people Xena interacted with over the last 10 years were her captives, but their relationship isn’t explored past this, alas. Xena tells Helen that Miltaides is dead, distressing the princess. Turning away from her friend Helen asks to be taken back to Menalaus. She’s had these horrible dreams and she figures surrendering to the Greeks is the only way for the warfare to stop. Xena vehemently disagrees; “Parris and his army will cut a bloody path to the sea to get you back.” Helen’s better off in Troy. “Troy has become a city of war and death,” Helen disagrees. “Parris may have loved me once but now he is consumed with victory. We’re barely more than strangers.” Ah, so his asinine attitude from before makes a little sense now.
Anywho, this exchange is interrupted as Deiphobus storms in and asks Helen if she’s ok; her safety is his number one concern, after all. Xena points out that maybe he should buffer security since it was pretty easy to get in here, hee. She asserts that she wanted to meet Helen because she doesn’t fight for people she doesn’t know…interesting exchange since she does know Helen. It’s the soldiers who fight for her whom Xena doesn’t know. *scratches chin* The warrior princess is a cautionary beast. :P “A Greek warrior wants to fight for Troy?” Deiphobus scoffs, which I find interesting; Perdicas is from Greece as well, after all. I guess he’s an anomaly? Helen tells him that Xena’s telling the truth; anywho Parris can decide. Deiphobus has his men escort Xena to the temple of Aphrodite.
Outside in the yard Perdicas rejoins with Gabrielle; obviously the threat is over for now. In response to her query of what he’s doing here he explains, “I wanted to be in a place where people were fighting for love.” You’ve chosen the wrong place, apparently, Perdicas. :-/ “You’re not a soldier. You don’t belong here,” Gabrielle insists. “For the first time I really feel like I do belong,” Perdicas argues back. Gab tells him to head home now, but come on babbling bard; Perdicas has a point when he says you can’t tell him what to do anymore. He leaves her alone to her thoughts.
In the temple of Aphrodite, Deiphobus whispers audibly with Parris. “I don’t trust her. She’s Greek, an outsider,” he says. “I never lifted a sword for Greece,” Xena counters. (No, you just lifted it for your own ambitions, Xeen. :P) As Helen nods and smiles Parris says he doesn’t see a reason to doubt the warrior princess. All is going well here…until the soldier Xena gave the cheek-slash to comes sauntering in. Xena unsheathes her sword! As Xena explains the backstory here, the two of them briefly fight before the traitor is killed by Deiphobus. The dude was part of his brother’s personal guard, Parris points out. Hmm. “I assure you, I will conduct a thorough investigation of all my men,” Deiphobus promises, sounding a bit like an ant frying under the microscope if you ask me. :P “Traitors rarely act alone,” is Xena’s contribution. Also, it’s too bad they can’t question this one. Deiphobus blusters about protecting his brother and Parris brushes the whole thing off. Deiphobus is off the hook and Xena is his guest.
Gabrielle corners Perdicas at a supply wagon, wanting to know if she’s responsible for his flight from Potedia. Her former fiancé tells her not to feel guilty; “I’m here because I want to be.” Gabrielle points out that he was a bit clumsy in the past, nearly drowning to save her hat or almost getting trampled while preparing a carriage ride. “Those days are over. I’m not a lovesick kid anymore,” Perdicas asserts with a little bit of an edge to his voice. What if something happens to you? Gabs presses. Perdicas shrugs it off; “write a story about me.” Hardly seems like he’s fighting for love here. :P Once again he’s called to duty as flaming arrows come flying over the wall. One hits a soldier and sends him crashing downwards. After dragging Gabs to cover Perdicas removes the still-flaming arrow from the body and positions it in his own bow. He shoots the flaming arrow back, killing a Greek soldier. Apparently that’s all it takes for the assault to stop, or maybe the Trojan army is really into fanboying their men. :P As men clap him on the back, Gabrielle looks on thoughtfully.
Later Perdicas thanks Xena for taking care of Gabrielle; “she’s like family,” Xena says distractedly before getting to the issue at hand. What’s the scoop on this Deiphobus guy? He’s not the nicest person but he’s a good warrior, Perdicas offers. “No one has killed more enemies.” “What about friends?” Xena poses. Perdicas is a little surprised by the question, but he’s called to duty before it can go any further. Gabrielle comes up and Xena assures the girl that her friend will be okay; he’s a good soldier. She explains that Helen wanted Xena to take her to Menalaus but she wouldn’t do it. And yet there’s danger in the air here, too; Xena’s warrior princess senses are tingling. :P She wants Gabrielle to stay with Perdicas as she tries to figure everything out. Xena leaves, and Gabrielle looks up to Perdicas smiling and waving from the wall. So much for emotional distance.
Helen is packing in her room and later Xena sees a hooded figure walking swiftly through the camp. She falls in step with this person…Helen, of course. If Xena won’t take her to Menalaus she’ll go on her own, she asserts. “Every day another soldier dies for my happiness. I can’t take it anymore!” Xena says that she knows neither man cares about her and it’s time to figure out what she wants for herself. Yay! The question gives Helen pause, of course; it’s the first time she’s been given an option. Meanwhile, they watch Deiphobus “secretly” walk out of a hidden door at the base of the castle. Xena follows him.
Deiphobus, now in his cloak, walks through the field of skeletons as Xena sneaks behind him. In the Greek camp he’s the shadowy figure that tells Menalaus that “they don’t suspect a thing.” Yikes! Traitors rarely acting alone indeed! Back in the Troy castle Xena tells Parris and Helen what she saw. Deiphobus walks in, asserting that he only went to the Greeks to convince them that they would never win. Sound battle strategy. ;) Menalaus has packed up, Deiphobus promises. He and Parris look about ready to open a bottle of ale, but Xena says he’s lying. “Your brother is a traitor,” she tells Parris. Unfortunately the others don’t support her; soldiers are coming in now to confirm that the Greek army is indeed moving out. “And they’ve left a gift of peace at the gates!” (And the mythology alarm starts beeping. :P) Deiphobus has a smug smile on his face, but omniscient Xena warns “beware Greeks bearing gifts.” (Hi title!) Deiphobus scoffs; what were you doing near the Greek camp anyway? He asks Xena. “You’ve won the war, my brother!” he cackles to Parris. Parris seems intent to gloat with his brother. Helen tries to intervene on Xena’s behalf, but her lover brushes her off as if she’s a simpleton. “Why don’t you find yourself something pretty to wear to the celebration?” Douchebag. >.< He sends his guards for Xena…who goes rather quietly with them. What’s up with that? Maybe she didn’t want the hassle, especially when there’s Greek trouble on the horizon and she doesn’t know where Gab is?
The infamous Trojan horse, made of wicker, is dragged through the gates of Troy as the soldiers shout out cries of victory. Xena, down in the dungeon, views it from an available window, looking wary. As the men begin to drink outside Deiphobus clangs his sword against the prison bars. He mocks Xena but she ignores it. “We both know that horse is a trick.” What she doesn’t know is “what a scum-sucking opportunist like you would want Helen back with Menalaus for.” Damn, that girl knows how to lay down an insult. Deiphobus chooses not to answer. Instead he introduces her to the other prisoners—as their countrywoman who sold them out. Uh oh. Looks like it’s time for a fight!
Helen is in the bath and Parris, behind her, asks why she’s so sad. She doesn’t feel like celebrating, she says. Well, she should be pleased that Menalaus was finally defeated, Parris says. Is she still sulking about that Xena thing? She’s done nothing wrong, Helen insists. “If you really love me you’ll trust my judgment.” Parris scoffs before telling her to get dressed. I really hate this guy.
…and now we’re back to the fight! :P It starts with Xena ramming a wooden bench into a goon’s crotch. And hey, that bench can make for a good weapon so Xena keeps it, hee. She bludgeons them for a bit before using it to flip out of the sky window! Wow! “Thanks fellas,” she says from above. Hey, at least she’s courteous. :P
Perdicas and Gabrielle return from a soldier party wondering where Xena is. But evidently they’re not too concerned because they go back to reminiscing about childhood stories. :P Gabs wonders if she ever thanked her friend for taking the blame when she stole corn from a neighboring farm. Would they have thought back then that they might one day meet up in Troy? “I’m sure glad that we did,” Perdicas says softly. They’re passing unconscious soldiers but hey, it’s a party atmosphere and the twosome are a little bit occupied.
Anywho once the path is cleared the Greeks climb out of the horse! They start gutting Trojans and open the gates for the rest of their companions. Menalaus enters first. “Find Helen, bring her to me!” Unseen on the wall, Deiphobus tells his brute to find Helen first. “Leave my brother to me.” Yikes. What’s that about? The beatdown continues, with Gab using her staff…it gets cut in half! Is this supposed to be the explanation for her not using Ephiny’s Amazon staff anymore? :P Hee. Xena wraps her whip around a Greek soldier’s wrist and pulls him towards her to punch him out. :D Awesome. She tells Gabrielle and Perdicas to round up who they can and hole themselves in Aphrodite’s temple. Xena, meanwhile, is going to get Helen.
Gabrielle herds people to the temple and a bewildered Parris is talking with his men about marshalling some sort of defense. Perdicas explains to his ruler that the surrender was a trick. Damn, son. Looks like you listened to the wrong counsel before. The temple doors are closed.
Deiphobus’s goons has found Helen but Xena pops into frame to save the day! That’s the end of those guys, hee. She and Helen run, then Gabrielle help barricade the doors once the two women get inside the temple. Parris awkwardly tells Xena that he misjudged her and the so-called lovers look awkwardly at each other. Frankly, Parris is the one who seems like a simpleton, eagerly accepting whatever intel comes to him without checking it first.
A Greek soldier tells Menalaus that Helen and the others are behind barricaded doors of the temple. Well what are you waiting for; break them down! An irritated king snaps. Now torch the city! “And remove the horse. I want it as a momento of my conquest!” Oh, “Xena.” :P
The doors to the temple shake as the Greeks ram a log into them. Helen again floats the go-to-Menalaus theory to save everyone and once again Xena is adamantly negative. Instead she asks Helen to show her to the supply room. Perdicas and Gabrielle, meanwhile, realize that death may be at hand, so again they talk over each other. :P Gabrielle apologizes for leading him on in the premiere when she really wanted a more exciting life; Perdicas counters that he wasn’t honest with her, either. Now there’s a man. “I can be no more honest than this,” Gabrielle says, smooching him. :-O Yet another boy toy moment…though at least this one makes more sense since they knew each other from before.
The supply room is filled with food; Xena picks up a wine goblet, her gears turning as she schemes. Parris appears in the doorway and the warrior princess leaves the two of them alone. “I don’t know how all of this happened,” Parris laments. “I just wanted to love you.” “You wanted to own me,” an astute Helen comments. And if they live through this she won’t stay with him. You go, girl! Though her empowerment is cut short by a shadowy figure in the doorway…the figure from her dreams! It’s Deiphobus. Parris goes forward to explain to his brother that the Greeks deceived him. “It wasn’t me who was deceived,” Deiphobus gloats before gutting his brother. :-O Whoah! Helen rushes to the dying man but Deiphobus pulls her up for a kiss—“now you’re mine!” He drags her out the door where he came in.
The Greeks are still ramming and Xena is helping to barricade the door. She checks in with Perdicas briefly; he’s preparing Xena’s secret surprise. Gabrielle goes to collect Parris and Helen but comes back with the news that Parris is dead and Helen is gone! Perdicas guesses that Menalaus was able to get through, but Xena’s not too sure; she thinks he’d be with his army. It must be Deiphobus, says the astute warrior princess. She tells the people to use his trap door to get out; they leave the doors and the Greeks break through! Time to use Xena’s surprise—they light the substance and a sudden fog slows the Greeks down as the Trojans make it to the supply room. Not as nifty as a big-ass horse, but. :P
Later, a soldier tells Menalaus that the temple was empty once they broke in. “You fool!” Menalaus snarls and slaps him. “You let them get away!” It’s time to shut the gates, trapping everyone in the city. But first some soldiers drag the horse into the skeleton graveyard. “I thought this thing would be a lot lighter with nobody in it,” one soldier grunts. Hmmm. :P Time for Xena to flip out! She lands on a soldier’s chest and tells him “thanks for the lift.” :D Win. She chakrams a bunch more. Gabrielle and the others come out of the horse, fighting as well. Xena tells the babbling bard to move everyone away from the horse and she’ll meet her on the next road. Things are almost over here but not quite…
Deiphobus is continuing to drag Helen behind him against her will. “Don’t you realize what you’ve done? You’ve killed your own brother! And ruined Troy! And for what? A woman who will only despise you?” Lay it down, Helen! Deiphobus shakes all this off; they can raise a new city and give birth to “a new race of Trojans! With my strength and your beauty, our children will rule the world!” Damn. That’s some family plan. :P He drags her out the secret door in the castle wall..and into Xena’s waiting arms. :P “Leaving so soon?” Helen attacks her captor and runs to the side as Xena unsheathes her sword. Here comes the epic finale. Deiphobus is able to kick Xena around a little but she holds her own. With swords dropped Deiphobus goes for a random staff that happens to be lying around. :P He gets Xena couple more times before she flips over him and kicks him in the face, rendering him unconscious. The women will leave him here… “when Menalaus comes out of Troy empty-handed I want Deiphobus to be the first thing he sees.” Xena puts the tiara on his head as a finishing touch. Great scapegoat you got there! ;)
Perdicas and Gabrielle look like they’re leaving the temple…that’s confusing. Weren’t they outside with the rest of the fighting Trojans? Anywho. The young man attempts to explain off their actions from before—things were a bit crazy and “I don’t expect anything from you.” They can still go their separate ways. Looking a little conflicted about it Gabrielle nonetheless says this was her plan, too. Perdicas touches her cheek. “I know we’ll see each other again someday.” They end things with a final kiss and a hug. Aaw. Gab has an angsty expression on her face as sad music plays. She leans against her staff as he walks off.
Xena and Helen are saying their goodbyes as well. The princess is sad that they couldn’t save Troy, but oh well. “When two kings are bent on destruction there’s not much that anyone can do,” says a wise Xena. “You showed me the only person that can make me happy is me,” says Helen. Nice moral of the story. Xena asks what is next for her friend, but she’s still unsure. “But for the first time in my life it’s my decision,” she adds hopefully. “I know you’ll make a great one.” Damn, Xena should do motivational speeches. :P
Perdicas comes up to say goodbye to Xena as well; he’s headed to a nearby city. Mind if I join you for awhile? Helen asks. Sure, Perdicas says; he’ll send a messenger ahead to herald her arrival. Helen balks…she wants normalcy for a change. Sounds like a nice start to a new identity. The women hug goodbye and Perdicas and Helen leave.
Xena and Gabrielle walk through the skeleton graveyard and Xena remarks that she thought Perdicas would be joining them for awhile. Gabrielle shrugs this off with an unusual lack of comment and changes the subject. Maybe they should go back for the horse? “It’s bound to be a collector’s item.” Xena considers for a moment, looking back at it, and says “only if you’re going to pull it.” The girls ultimately decide to leave it there. :P Smart move, ladies…not like it’ll be that important in the course of history anyway, hee.
The disclaimer for this episode is: No oversized, Polynesian-style bamboo horses were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, many lawn chairs gave their lives. Looks like we got a little intel into the “Xena” props department! :P
So yeah…again, I like this episode for the impetus it puts on personal responsibility. Women are not to be blamed for the cruelty of men…women also shouldn’t define themselves by men. Obviously Parris and Helen was the cautionary tale, but it was nice that Gabrielle and Perdicas learned this as well. Perdicas and the engagement were definitely a loose end from Gab’s former life…nice that they had the chance to resolve it. And nice that the character grew into more than a one-note, possessive fiancé that he was in the beginning. Will Gabs and Perdicas see each other again? Well, it’s entirely possible! The Xenaverse is a small world, hee.
___
And as a nice contrast to this story we have Gabrielle and Perdicas—not just any episodic boy toy but the fiancé she left to travel the world with Xena. Back then he was resentful of her choices…but what about now, since he’s also left home for a greater cause? You’ll have to jump under the cut to find out! :P
Queasy camera work and bad lighting open the show…there’s a woman in bed and a shadowy attacker who guts all of her protectors. The woman, Helen of Troy, wakes in fear. The man beside her, Parris, groggily reminds her that these nightmares aren’t real. “Menalaus and his army are exhausted; victory for Troy is at hand,” he promises. “I wish I could believe that,” Helen responds, still breathing hard. Parris dismisses her concerns; they make her less beautiful, “and after all, isn’t that what I’ve been fighting for?” Yuck. Doesn’t seem lovey to me as he falls back to sleep.
Helen finds her personal guard, Miltaedes, and gives him a parcel to bring to Xena. Xena knows everyone. :P Also she and Gabs are near Troy right now—convenient—though they decide not to stop there for extra provisions (food supply’s running low) because of the ongoing 10-year battle. Though it’s worth noting that a few eps back, Xena and Ares discussed several heroes from that war—Hector, Agamemnon, Achilles—already being dead. But we all know that “Xena” makes up its own mythology, hee.
There’s trouble on the road! A man is getting beaten by a band of goons. Of course Xena has to ride Argo into the fray to dispense some justice. She snaps one’s neck while sitting on his shoulders, which sounds both awesome and graphic. Gabrielle, now a bit more of a fighter, whacks some goons with her staff. Finally Xena slices a goon’s cheek and at his wide-eyed fear she gives the signal for him and his family to run away from here. When they’re finally alone she rushes to the mortally wounded man—Miltaedes! He dispatches the parcel to Xena—Helen’s tiara. The princess wants Xena to come to Troy. Gabrielle shares the audience’s shock that Xena knows this famous woman; Xena explains it as they knew each other in Sparta, before the war. Of course. :P The warrior princess promises she’ll go and then Miltaedes dies. Pretty sad, actually.
Let us pan to crucified skeletons, bones on wheels, spiders climbing out of skulls! Lovely stuff. :P Xena and Gabrielle crouch nearby…this skeleton graveyard decorates the land in front of Troy’s castle. Somewhere out there the Greek army lurks…Gabs wants to know the plan for getting past them. Xena responds with a grab and run! Subtle. Suddenly, soldiers jump out of the brush! The girls fight…Xena chakrams someone in the chest.
From the wall Perdicas (new cast member but referenced by an extra) recognizes Gabrielle. He demands that the gates are opened. Troy’s soldiers are inclined to listen to him, apparently; a few heft off the wooden barricade and Xena and Gabs run towards them. Perdicas, in armor, comes out to help them fight. They barely make it in time before the flaming arrows hit the door, but what can you do. :P Once safe Gabrielle attempts to introduce herself…while Perdicas is turning around and taking off his helmet. No introductions needed! :P Xena voices the general confusion—weren’t you a farmer, man? “Not anymore,” Perdicas responds, sheathing his sword for effect. Gabrielle is still stunned.
Meanwhile, elsewhere, King Menalaus of the Greeks/Helen’s first husband is discussing plans with a shadowy figure. Uh oh. They’re interrupted by a soldier who tells them that Xena broke through their defenses to join up with the Trojans. Menalaus is a little concerned, but fortunately he can ask the shadowy figure to take care of her. “We don’t want a wolf among our sheep, now do we?” he asks ominously.
Xena is telling Perdicas that she came here to fight, so Gabby’s ex-finace suggests that she talks to Deiphobus, Parris’s brother. (I’m glad they didn’t stick with Parris’s canon brother, Hector, for this role, that’s all I’m saying. :P) Xena poo-poos this; she wants to see Helen and Parris directly. But that’s against regulations! Perdicas protests. “Well, it’s never bothered me before…” oh Xena. So sassy. :P She promises she’ll spread the word that he tried to stop her. Very kind. She leaves the former lovebirds together to talk awkwardly over each other. “Good to see you…” Fortunately they’re interrupted by a sudden Greek attack outside the wall. Perdicas barks out orders and tells Gabs to find cover. Meanwhile Deiphobus has found Perdicas; he’s angry that the lad opened the door for the ladies. Perdicas points out that they did help fight off the Greeks earlier. He then admits that Xena is on her way to Parris and Helen now. “If anything happens to them I will hold you responsible,” Deiphobus warns.
Helen brushes her hair in her bedchamber; Xena appears behind her in the mirror. They hug hello. “We’ve had our differences in the past but you’re still a friend,” Xena says, handing back the tiara. I have to admit intrigue, considering the majority of innocent people Xena interacted with over the last 10 years were her captives, but their relationship isn’t explored past this, alas. Xena tells Helen that Miltaides is dead, distressing the princess. Turning away from her friend Helen asks to be taken back to Menalaus. She’s had these horrible dreams and she figures surrendering to the Greeks is the only way for the warfare to stop. Xena vehemently disagrees; “Parris and his army will cut a bloody path to the sea to get you back.” Helen’s better off in Troy. “Troy has become a city of war and death,” Helen disagrees. “Parris may have loved me once but now he is consumed with victory. We’re barely more than strangers.” Ah, so his asinine attitude from before makes a little sense now.
Anywho, this exchange is interrupted as Deiphobus storms in and asks Helen if she’s ok; her safety is his number one concern, after all. Xena points out that maybe he should buffer security since it was pretty easy to get in here, hee. She asserts that she wanted to meet Helen because she doesn’t fight for people she doesn’t know…interesting exchange since she does know Helen. It’s the soldiers who fight for her whom Xena doesn’t know. *scratches chin* The warrior princess is a cautionary beast. :P “A Greek warrior wants to fight for Troy?” Deiphobus scoffs, which I find interesting; Perdicas is from Greece as well, after all. I guess he’s an anomaly? Helen tells him that Xena’s telling the truth; anywho Parris can decide. Deiphobus has his men escort Xena to the temple of Aphrodite.
Outside in the yard Perdicas rejoins with Gabrielle; obviously the threat is over for now. In response to her query of what he’s doing here he explains, “I wanted to be in a place where people were fighting for love.” You’ve chosen the wrong place, apparently, Perdicas. :-/ “You’re not a soldier. You don’t belong here,” Gabrielle insists. “For the first time I really feel like I do belong,” Perdicas argues back. Gab tells him to head home now, but come on babbling bard; Perdicas has a point when he says you can’t tell him what to do anymore. He leaves her alone to her thoughts.
In the temple of Aphrodite, Deiphobus whispers audibly with Parris. “I don’t trust her. She’s Greek, an outsider,” he says. “I never lifted a sword for Greece,” Xena counters. (No, you just lifted it for your own ambitions, Xeen. :P) As Helen nods and smiles Parris says he doesn’t see a reason to doubt the warrior princess. All is going well here…until the soldier Xena gave the cheek-slash to comes sauntering in. Xena unsheathes her sword! As Xena explains the backstory here, the two of them briefly fight before the traitor is killed by Deiphobus. The dude was part of his brother’s personal guard, Parris points out. Hmm. “I assure you, I will conduct a thorough investigation of all my men,” Deiphobus promises, sounding a bit like an ant frying under the microscope if you ask me. :P “Traitors rarely act alone,” is Xena’s contribution. Also, it’s too bad they can’t question this one. Deiphobus blusters about protecting his brother and Parris brushes the whole thing off. Deiphobus is off the hook and Xena is his guest.
Gabrielle corners Perdicas at a supply wagon, wanting to know if she’s responsible for his flight from Potedia. Her former fiancé tells her not to feel guilty; “I’m here because I want to be.” Gabrielle points out that he was a bit clumsy in the past, nearly drowning to save her hat or almost getting trampled while preparing a carriage ride. “Those days are over. I’m not a lovesick kid anymore,” Perdicas asserts with a little bit of an edge to his voice. What if something happens to you? Gabs presses. Perdicas shrugs it off; “write a story about me.” Hardly seems like he’s fighting for love here. :P Once again he’s called to duty as flaming arrows come flying over the wall. One hits a soldier and sends him crashing downwards. After dragging Gabs to cover Perdicas removes the still-flaming arrow from the body and positions it in his own bow. He shoots the flaming arrow back, killing a Greek soldier. Apparently that’s all it takes for the assault to stop, or maybe the Trojan army is really into fanboying their men. :P As men clap him on the back, Gabrielle looks on thoughtfully.
Later Perdicas thanks Xena for taking care of Gabrielle; “she’s like family,” Xena says distractedly before getting to the issue at hand. What’s the scoop on this Deiphobus guy? He’s not the nicest person but he’s a good warrior, Perdicas offers. “No one has killed more enemies.” “What about friends?” Xena poses. Perdicas is a little surprised by the question, but he’s called to duty before it can go any further. Gabrielle comes up and Xena assures the girl that her friend will be okay; he’s a good soldier. She explains that Helen wanted Xena to take her to Menalaus but she wouldn’t do it. And yet there’s danger in the air here, too; Xena’s warrior princess senses are tingling. :P She wants Gabrielle to stay with Perdicas as she tries to figure everything out. Xena leaves, and Gabrielle looks up to Perdicas smiling and waving from the wall. So much for emotional distance.
Helen is packing in her room and later Xena sees a hooded figure walking swiftly through the camp. She falls in step with this person…Helen, of course. If Xena won’t take her to Menalaus she’ll go on her own, she asserts. “Every day another soldier dies for my happiness. I can’t take it anymore!” Xena says that she knows neither man cares about her and it’s time to figure out what she wants for herself. Yay! The question gives Helen pause, of course; it’s the first time she’s been given an option. Meanwhile, they watch Deiphobus “secretly” walk out of a hidden door at the base of the castle. Xena follows him.
Deiphobus, now in his cloak, walks through the field of skeletons as Xena sneaks behind him. In the Greek camp he’s the shadowy figure that tells Menalaus that “they don’t suspect a thing.” Yikes! Traitors rarely acting alone indeed! Back in the Troy castle Xena tells Parris and Helen what she saw. Deiphobus walks in, asserting that he only went to the Greeks to convince them that they would never win. Sound battle strategy. ;) Menalaus has packed up, Deiphobus promises. He and Parris look about ready to open a bottle of ale, but Xena says he’s lying. “Your brother is a traitor,” she tells Parris. Unfortunately the others don’t support her; soldiers are coming in now to confirm that the Greek army is indeed moving out. “And they’ve left a gift of peace at the gates!” (And the mythology alarm starts beeping. :P) Deiphobus has a smug smile on his face, but omniscient Xena warns “beware Greeks bearing gifts.” (Hi title!) Deiphobus scoffs; what were you doing near the Greek camp anyway? He asks Xena. “You’ve won the war, my brother!” he cackles to Parris. Parris seems intent to gloat with his brother. Helen tries to intervene on Xena’s behalf, but her lover brushes her off as if she’s a simpleton. “Why don’t you find yourself something pretty to wear to the celebration?” Douchebag. >.< He sends his guards for Xena…who goes rather quietly with them. What’s up with that? Maybe she didn’t want the hassle, especially when there’s Greek trouble on the horizon and she doesn’t know where Gab is?
The infamous Trojan horse, made of wicker, is dragged through the gates of Troy as the soldiers shout out cries of victory. Xena, down in the dungeon, views it from an available window, looking wary. As the men begin to drink outside Deiphobus clangs his sword against the prison bars. He mocks Xena but she ignores it. “We both know that horse is a trick.” What she doesn’t know is “what a scum-sucking opportunist like you would want Helen back with Menalaus for.” Damn, that girl knows how to lay down an insult. Deiphobus chooses not to answer. Instead he introduces her to the other prisoners—as their countrywoman who sold them out. Uh oh. Looks like it’s time for a fight!
Helen is in the bath and Parris, behind her, asks why she’s so sad. She doesn’t feel like celebrating, she says. Well, she should be pleased that Menalaus was finally defeated, Parris says. Is she still sulking about that Xena thing? She’s done nothing wrong, Helen insists. “If you really love me you’ll trust my judgment.” Parris scoffs before telling her to get dressed. I really hate this guy.
…and now we’re back to the fight! :P It starts with Xena ramming a wooden bench into a goon’s crotch. And hey, that bench can make for a good weapon so Xena keeps it, hee. She bludgeons them for a bit before using it to flip out of the sky window! Wow! “Thanks fellas,” she says from above. Hey, at least she’s courteous. :P
Perdicas and Gabrielle return from a soldier party wondering where Xena is. But evidently they’re not too concerned because they go back to reminiscing about childhood stories. :P Gabs wonders if she ever thanked her friend for taking the blame when she stole corn from a neighboring farm. Would they have thought back then that they might one day meet up in Troy? “I’m sure glad that we did,” Perdicas says softly. They’re passing unconscious soldiers but hey, it’s a party atmosphere and the twosome are a little bit occupied.
Anywho once the path is cleared the Greeks climb out of the horse! They start gutting Trojans and open the gates for the rest of their companions. Menalaus enters first. “Find Helen, bring her to me!” Unseen on the wall, Deiphobus tells his brute to find Helen first. “Leave my brother to me.” Yikes. What’s that about? The beatdown continues, with Gab using her staff…it gets cut in half! Is this supposed to be the explanation for her not using Ephiny’s Amazon staff anymore? :P Hee. Xena wraps her whip around a Greek soldier’s wrist and pulls him towards her to punch him out. :D Awesome. She tells Gabrielle and Perdicas to round up who they can and hole themselves in Aphrodite’s temple. Xena, meanwhile, is going to get Helen.
Gabrielle herds people to the temple and a bewildered Parris is talking with his men about marshalling some sort of defense. Perdicas explains to his ruler that the surrender was a trick. Damn, son. Looks like you listened to the wrong counsel before. The temple doors are closed.
Deiphobus’s goons has found Helen but Xena pops into frame to save the day! That’s the end of those guys, hee. She and Helen run, then Gabrielle help barricade the doors once the two women get inside the temple. Parris awkwardly tells Xena that he misjudged her and the so-called lovers look awkwardly at each other. Frankly, Parris is the one who seems like a simpleton, eagerly accepting whatever intel comes to him without checking it first.
A Greek soldier tells Menalaus that Helen and the others are behind barricaded doors of the temple. Well what are you waiting for; break them down! An irritated king snaps. Now torch the city! “And remove the horse. I want it as a momento of my conquest!” Oh, “Xena.” :P
The doors to the temple shake as the Greeks ram a log into them. Helen again floats the go-to-Menalaus theory to save everyone and once again Xena is adamantly negative. Instead she asks Helen to show her to the supply room. Perdicas and Gabrielle, meanwhile, realize that death may be at hand, so again they talk over each other. :P Gabrielle apologizes for leading him on in the premiere when she really wanted a more exciting life; Perdicas counters that he wasn’t honest with her, either. Now there’s a man. “I can be no more honest than this,” Gabrielle says, smooching him. :-O Yet another boy toy moment…though at least this one makes more sense since they knew each other from before.
The supply room is filled with food; Xena picks up a wine goblet, her gears turning as she schemes. Parris appears in the doorway and the warrior princess leaves the two of them alone. “I don’t know how all of this happened,” Parris laments. “I just wanted to love you.” “You wanted to own me,” an astute Helen comments. And if they live through this she won’t stay with him. You go, girl! Though her empowerment is cut short by a shadowy figure in the doorway…the figure from her dreams! It’s Deiphobus. Parris goes forward to explain to his brother that the Greeks deceived him. “It wasn’t me who was deceived,” Deiphobus gloats before gutting his brother. :-O Whoah! Helen rushes to the dying man but Deiphobus pulls her up for a kiss—“now you’re mine!” He drags her out the door where he came in.
The Greeks are still ramming and Xena is helping to barricade the door. She checks in with Perdicas briefly; he’s preparing Xena’s secret surprise. Gabrielle goes to collect Parris and Helen but comes back with the news that Parris is dead and Helen is gone! Perdicas guesses that Menalaus was able to get through, but Xena’s not too sure; she thinks he’d be with his army. It must be Deiphobus, says the astute warrior princess. She tells the people to use his trap door to get out; they leave the doors and the Greeks break through! Time to use Xena’s surprise—they light the substance and a sudden fog slows the Greeks down as the Trojans make it to the supply room. Not as nifty as a big-ass horse, but. :P
Later, a soldier tells Menalaus that the temple was empty once they broke in. “You fool!” Menalaus snarls and slaps him. “You let them get away!” It’s time to shut the gates, trapping everyone in the city. But first some soldiers drag the horse into the skeleton graveyard. “I thought this thing would be a lot lighter with nobody in it,” one soldier grunts. Hmmm. :P Time for Xena to flip out! She lands on a soldier’s chest and tells him “thanks for the lift.” :D Win. She chakrams a bunch more. Gabrielle and the others come out of the horse, fighting as well. Xena tells the babbling bard to move everyone away from the horse and she’ll meet her on the next road. Things are almost over here but not quite…
Deiphobus is continuing to drag Helen behind him against her will. “Don’t you realize what you’ve done? You’ve killed your own brother! And ruined Troy! And for what? A woman who will only despise you?” Lay it down, Helen! Deiphobus shakes all this off; they can raise a new city and give birth to “a new race of Trojans! With my strength and your beauty, our children will rule the world!” Damn. That’s some family plan. :P He drags her out the secret door in the castle wall..and into Xena’s waiting arms. :P “Leaving so soon?” Helen attacks her captor and runs to the side as Xena unsheathes her sword. Here comes the epic finale. Deiphobus is able to kick Xena around a little but she holds her own. With swords dropped Deiphobus goes for a random staff that happens to be lying around. :P He gets Xena couple more times before she flips over him and kicks him in the face, rendering him unconscious. The women will leave him here… “when Menalaus comes out of Troy empty-handed I want Deiphobus to be the first thing he sees.” Xena puts the tiara on his head as a finishing touch. Great scapegoat you got there! ;)
Perdicas and Gabrielle look like they’re leaving the temple…that’s confusing. Weren’t they outside with the rest of the fighting Trojans? Anywho. The young man attempts to explain off their actions from before—things were a bit crazy and “I don’t expect anything from you.” They can still go their separate ways. Looking a little conflicted about it Gabrielle nonetheless says this was her plan, too. Perdicas touches her cheek. “I know we’ll see each other again someday.” They end things with a final kiss and a hug. Aaw. Gab has an angsty expression on her face as sad music plays. She leans against her staff as he walks off.
Xena and Helen are saying their goodbyes as well. The princess is sad that they couldn’t save Troy, but oh well. “When two kings are bent on destruction there’s not much that anyone can do,” says a wise Xena. “You showed me the only person that can make me happy is me,” says Helen. Nice moral of the story. Xena asks what is next for her friend, but she’s still unsure. “But for the first time in my life it’s my decision,” she adds hopefully. “I know you’ll make a great one.” Damn, Xena should do motivational speeches. :P
Perdicas comes up to say goodbye to Xena as well; he’s headed to a nearby city. Mind if I join you for awhile? Helen asks. Sure, Perdicas says; he’ll send a messenger ahead to herald her arrival. Helen balks…she wants normalcy for a change. Sounds like a nice start to a new identity. The women hug goodbye and Perdicas and Helen leave.
Xena and Gabrielle walk through the skeleton graveyard and Xena remarks that she thought Perdicas would be joining them for awhile. Gabrielle shrugs this off with an unusual lack of comment and changes the subject. Maybe they should go back for the horse? “It’s bound to be a collector’s item.” Xena considers for a moment, looking back at it, and says “only if you’re going to pull it.” The girls ultimately decide to leave it there. :P Smart move, ladies…not like it’ll be that important in the course of history anyway, hee.
The disclaimer for this episode is: No oversized, Polynesian-style bamboo horses were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, many lawn chairs gave their lives. Looks like we got a little intel into the “Xena” props department! :P
So yeah…again, I like this episode for the impetus it puts on personal responsibility. Women are not to be blamed for the cruelty of men…women also shouldn’t define themselves by men. Obviously Parris and Helen was the cautionary tale, but it was nice that Gabrielle and Perdicas learned this as well. Perdicas and the engagement were definitely a loose end from Gab’s former life…nice that they had the chance to resolve it. And nice that the character grew into more than a one-note, possessive fiancé that he was in the beginning. Will Gabs and Perdicas see each other again? Well, it’s entirely possible! The Xenaverse is a small world, hee.
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