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scifi_rewatchCan’t quite believe how long I’ve put off recapping this episode. It’s not my favorite, but it’s certainly up there. Beyond that, it’s such a unique hour, yanno with the whole kooky musical world aspect, and it took twice as long to create as the standard “Xena” fare. One of the top three most expensive episodes, according to whoosh.org! And one of 17 chosen by fans to be included in the “Xena: Warrior Princess 10th Anniversary Collection,” according to the wiki.
Ostensibly this episode heals “the rift” between Xena and Gabrielle, though there are some differing opinions about all of that. Certainly the musical story aspect of this hour helped tie serious plotlines up more neatly than is the usual. I’ve seen this episode referred to as both an “opera” and a “rock opera.” I just love that it’s ultimately about the complicated relationship between two women who love each other, though there is a scintillating subplot that perhaps makes a case for Xena/Ares (never!) :P
First airing in February 1998, this is the premiere musical episode that defined the future for science fiction and fantasy shows. Eat your heart out, “Buffy.”
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Kind of feels weird to give this episode a plot synopsis. :P Might as well just follow the songs, which I’ll do later. But just to tie it all together…Xena and Gabrielle separate, to a snowy mountaintop and an Amazon encampment respectively, to mourn their losses. Real Ares, I assume, and a fake Callisto which is really a stand-in for Gabby’s subconscious appear to the two gals and extol the virtues of blame and revenge. So Xena rides into the Amazon camp, takes Gabs, er, prisoner, and is about to dump her off of a cliff. Gabby awakes in time to fight for her life, and they both go tumbling down…into Illusia! Now guided by a fantastical version of Callisto and a not so far-fetched version of Joxer, the gals first encounter their separate paths were they not in each other’s lives (war and peace, respectively.) They meet up to duel to the death, which Gabs, of course, loses. But the whole thing is an illusion—Gabs is fine, and the two of them go tumbling into a room that exacerbates the blame they place on each other, making it impossible for either of them to hear anything else. Unable to fix their bad behaviors there, they are then transported to a version of Dahak’s temple, where Gab ends up on the sacrificial altar and Xena is tied to Caesar’s crucifix. They learn about how their hate has defined and controlled them, and before phantoms of each other can strike killing blows, they finally make amends. Solan appears as the architect of Illusia to lead the ladies home…but before he’s able to do so, Xena must confront the ghost of Ming Tien, and admit that she killed him and lied to Gabs about it for foolish reasons. After a touching goodbye with her son, Xena and Gabrielle are transported back home where they happily renew their friendship.
We start in the real world, in a relatively familiar set up for a dramatic episode. Joseph LoDuca’s score is recognizable; Gabs is with the Amazons (and Joxer) and Xena is standing in fake snow that apparently smelled like gross cabbage, according to Lucy, being manipulated by Ares. Ares, perhaps, is the only character who stays consistent this hour. Whether in the real world or in Illusia, he’s all about getting his warrior princess back under his wing. I guess that I can say that Joxer is about the same in both dimensions, hee. Callisto starts as a projection of Gabby’s mind and then turns into a kooky projection of Solan’s, I guess. :P Even Argo refuses to “Gab drag” Gabrielle, so Xena uses a different horse. We only see Ephiny in the beginning, when Xena breaks her arm! :/ Man, those Amazonians did a shit job of protecting Gabrielle, though I suppose its standard protocol for folks to lose against Xena, hee. Still rather wish they were allowed to wear armor (or just cloth) around their midsections. Er, other than that, I can’t quite get over the fact that the Gab-drag should have been fatal. But that’s the magic of “Xenaverse,” I guess. Weird question—does it make Xena a better or worse person to drag Gabs all that way and revel in causing her all that pain, if not death? Well, I guess that the episode proper deals with enough questions about anger and forgiveness.
A whoosh.org commentator makes the case for the fact that Illusia is more about Xena’s journey than Xena and Gabrielle’s together. Xena is the first to arrive in the land, and Muse!Callisto has a whole song and dance with her, explaining “the rules,” (“What’s Still Unwritten…”) before Gabs even shows up. Man, that goofiness must’ve been fun for Hudson to play. :P I was also impressed with Michelle Nicastro, who sang Callisto’s parts. Susan Wood sang for Gabrielle and although she had a beautiful voice, it was a little more nasal than Renee’s, imho. CGI was ridiculous, but hey, they were on a budget in the late ’90s, so. I’m actually most taken with the Callisto who appears after Gabby’s death to chastise Xena for thinking that killing her “betrayer” would actually ease her suffering (“Let Go…”). If anyone knows that message, it’s Callisto. Though she doesn’t have the fortitude in real life, at least so far, to change her ways. Random tangent about Callisto at the beginning of the hour—rather cruel, isn’t it, for Gabs to use Callisto to taunt her about Xena killing her family, when in fact it was she who killed Gabby’s husband. These layers of violence go deep.
We then move to the “War and Peace” song, where of course, in Xena’s universe, the soldiers are lackeys and Ares is one sexy, sexy god. *fans self* Meanwhile, Gabrielle goes to a more pastoral version of Poteidia; I just loved the costumes. Apparently, one of the people with whom she had a brief interlude was Julie Moran, then of Entertainment Weekly. But I was far more thrilled that Willa O’Niell was able to reprise the role of Gabby’s sister, Lila! She even sang her own lines! But more importantly, both in and out of Illusia, she’s always been a little critical of Xena. And in this episode she brought up, “if your child had lived, we’d surely make her welcome, too,” which, VINDICATED! Seems like the show did entertain the notion that it was possible for Hope’s life to turn out much differently. Of course, after that, Lila turns into a bit of a hypocritical warmonger (“it’s just a case of killing to be kind,”) though on a macro level, who could blame her? Team Peace could use some major selling points, maybe a Peeta Mellark to coach them. :P Seriously, “vegetate until you die” is the best you can offer? Sheesh. But overall, man, you gotta give the choreographers props for staging this complicated number with all of these warriors/villagers extras. Bravo.
Anywho, after Xena kills the Gabs illusion she and Ares do this sexy waltz to “Melt Into Me,” where Kevin sings and Lucy is wearing an amazing red dress (representing death!) Lucy claims they were more or less stitching on her seconds before the shoot. :P But my favorite song is probably the next one, “Hearts are Hurting,” in the hall of echoes. What can I say, I’m a sucker for the feels…even if it’s technically contradictory for a song to start with “My heart is hurting beyond words/The pain is tearing up my soul…” and etc verbally describing pain, hee. But that’s pretty much the only complaint that I can levy against Joseph LoDuca and the lyricists whom he hired, Pamela Philips Oland and Dennis Spiegel. I’ll basically be copying and pasting the lyrics below, because they are amazing. Really drive the point home in an allotted amount of time. The “Hearts Are Hurting” reprieve moves from pain into forgiveness with Xena and Gabs singing in harmony; well done! The next song, in Dahak’s temple, is “Hate Is the Star,” and it’s all about the corruption of hate. Man, Gale Hawthorne and his ilk should have a listen. :P At least it did it’s work on Xena and Gabrielle. I thought Renee did a decent job of portraying some PTSD about Gabby being brought back to that place; it helped me take the character (and the show) more seriously. I’m also impressed with how they tied things up for Xena—about how her journey towards this brand of darkness really started at Caesar’s cross (we were reminded, this ep, about her vengeance towards Caesar inadvertently led Gabby to Dahak in the first place.) I’m also very happy that Xena had to confront her Ming Tien betrayal (the song “Love of Your Love” retroactively confirms why the duology was named “The Debt” at all.) I still kinda wish that her decision to kill him at all was more questioned, but hey, we had to get to her tearful goodbyes with Solan and all *feklempt* I know this is basically a plot device, but I love seeing Solan as so good and altruistic--the best part of Xena, really. Relatedly, very nice for Karl Urban, Marton Csokas and Daniel Sing to reprise their roles as Caesar, Khrafstar and Ming Tien, respectively, when they didn’t even have any lines. (Sing might’ve said “NOOOO!” melodramatically. :P) Along with Ares and Callisto, these are certainly among the most memorable villains of the show, and have been tormenting our girls for a long time.
Final points about this episode. According to whoosh.org, producer Steven Sears gave an internet interview around 2000, which claims that his intent with this episode was not to completely absolve things between the two girls, but to get them back to a place where they could “rebuild.” I like this explanation a lot better than the “yay, the rift is over!” celebration, because it leaves things open-ended. Much more true to life, methinks. “Xena” can be a campy show, and perhaps there’s no better time to say that than in reference to a musical episode. :P But the showrunners, particularly Robert Tapert, put a lot of thought into their decisions, too. This episode, I realize now, is filled with Tarot references. So I’ve gone to the official Wikipedia page to delve further into this issue. Callisto played “the fool” as Xena’s guide/muse and then “justice” after she killed Gabby. Xena was “the high priestess” in “What’s Still Unwritten…” “the chariot” in “War and Peace” and also, briefly, “death” for “Melt Into Me.” Gabrielle was “the star,” I think in the very beginning, “the empress” in “War and Peace” and “the world” post-death. Joxer was “the hanged man” (quite literally in the beginning) and then “the hermit” when Gabby “died.” I saw Ares and Lila as mirror images of each other in “War and Peace”, as they goaded Xena and Gabs, respectively, towards revenge. In tarot terms, Ares played “the emperor” and Lila was “the heirophant,” who forms a bridge between deity and humanity. Not quite sure what that’s about, except that Lila guided her sister towards her cosmic fight with Xena (and Gabs struck first.) And she was most sympathetic to the demigod, Hope, I suppose. Probably being too literal here. :P Anywho. The scenes were supposed to resemble “the high priestess,” “the wheel of fortune” (both kooky and symbolic with the animals, I thought,) “the hanged man,” “the lovers,” (some Joxer/Gabby shipping, too? :P) “the moon,” (over the warrior encampment) “the chariot,” (Xena/Ares pulled by sphinxes) “the tower,” (echo chamber) “judgment,” (Dahak’s temple) “the devil,” (referred to as “Torment”) “temperance,” and “the sun” (which I guess explains the beautiful sunset in the background!) The checkered floors in some scenes also show up in certain tarot cards. Other little moments, from Gabby being handed flowers to Joxer swinging over her, were taken from the cards as well. Even more inspiration came from “The Book of Tokens,” which alludes to the Hebrew lettering on the wheel and certain character actions. But methinks I’ll end on a simple note—obviously all of the water in this episode has to do with rebirth. Hee.
Disclaimer The musical genre was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In fact, the Producers sincerely hope you were A-MUSE-D by this episode.
Favorite Quotes:
*Ephiny's major contribution to the episode*
Ephiny: Three days, now. She's been undergoing the purification ritual for three days.
Joxer: That's crazy! Look, we have to get her out! She could be dying in there.
Ephiny: She was dying out here. You didn't see her at the death of her child -- the pain she was in -- the despair. When she and Xena parted, she came to us.
Joxer: If we leave her in there, she's gone.
Ephiny: She's already gone. Her only chance is to work through the pain.
*Ares, in the real world, eggs on Xena to kill Gabrielle*
Ares: *responding to her wailing* Nice vocal! But you sure can't dance to it. Look, I feel your pain OK -- but how much longer before you start doing something about it?
Xena: My son is dead, ya soul-less bastard! What can I do about that?
Ares: Just goes to prove what I've been telling you all along-- no good deed goes unpunished-- saving people, defending the weak, trusting someone who betrayed you.
Xena: Gabrielle.
Ares: This whole atonement kick you've been on lately -- it's not you. You're full of fire -- bending the world to your will -- full of rage. And revenge. Accept it, Xena. Embrace it. You know what to do -- who to kill.
*the Callisto voice in Gabby's head convinces her to blame Xena for her troubles*
Gabrielle: You're not real. You're in my mind.
Callisto: What difference does it make? You came here for the truth-- and the truth is that Xena made us both. She shaped our lives, changed our fates-- killed our familes.
Gabrielle: No-- I killed hers. Solan died because of my daughter.
Callisto: Because of Xena, you had a daughter. Her hatred for Caesar took you to Brittania.
Gabrielle: Yes-- b--
Callisto: Straight to Dahak, where she deserted you. Isn't that right? Isn't that right?
Gabrielle: Yes.
Callisto: And you hate her for it, don't you? For betraying you? For failing you? You hate her, don't you? Don't you? Don't you?!
Gabrielle: Yes!
*Callisto guides Xena into Illusia*
Callisto: Absorb thyself in this great sea of the waters of life. Dive deep in it-- until thou hast lost thyself. And having lost thyself, then thou shalt find thyself again. Even as it is written, "She had her dwelling in the great sea-- and was a fish therein." Aleph am I. From mine unfathomable will, the universe hath its beginning. In my boundless wisdom are the types and patterns of all things.
Song of the Fool
Callisto: Glad that you're feelin' strong,
Thought I might lose ya.
Don't use words, sing a song--
This is Illusia!
What's Still Unwritten...
Callisto: Xena, be warned,
Xena, beware.
By closing your eyes,
You can see what isn't there.
Xena, be calm.
Open your eyes.
Lies may be truth,
And truth may be lies.
Xena: All right, Callisto-- cut the song and dance. What's going on? Where are we?
Callisto: Fate is a wheel, it will reveal
All you've become-- All that you feel.
Destiny knows what has to be.
You'll pay the price. Nothing is free!
I'll be your guide, take the hand of your muse!
You just might lose your way
In the land of Illusia!!
Illusia is music,
A world built on rhyme.
It's carved out of space
In the absence of time.
You've tasted how evil
And good coexist.
The bitter and sweet of it--
Small White Dog: All in the lips that you kissed. (ahh)
Callisto: Lion and bull.
Eagle and Snake.
To live or die--
It's a choice you've got to make!
Can you undo what you create?
Step through the wheel...
Follow your fate.
Animals: The Fates have a fix on you.
We can play tricks on you.
We deal in truths you're too troubled to face.
Gamble the worth of you on the rebirth of you.
Don't turn away-- Don't start to fade.
What's still unwritten...
You can erase.
Callisto: Your villainous infamy
Tortures your soul.
Descent into evil
Must levy its toll.
The darkness that rots you
Has brought you to this.
Snake: Surrender serenity, Suffer sweet misery
Sin seeks its cursed abysssss.
Anubis: Oh, Xena, with death there is always Rebirth.
Sphinx: Come see with a vision denied you on Earth.
Callisto: Illusia is waiting -- we'll show you the way.
But all consequences are your own creation.
And there's a price you must pay!
Callisto & Animals: The Fates have a fix on you.
We can play tricks on you.
We deal in truths you're too troubled to face.
Gamble the worth of you on the rebirth of you.
Now is the time; this is the place.
What's still unwritten--
You can erase!
Illusia is music,
A world built on rhyme.
It's carved out of space
In the absence of--
Xena: All right, Callisto. You like little ditties? Fine. I got one for ya.
You're acting so strangely,
That I hardly know ya.
But still, I wouldn't trust you
As far as I could throw ya.
Callisto: *after Xena throws her down* Ow!
You're wrong not to trust one that knows you so well.
I never betrayed you. That was-- Gabrielle.
Xena: Gabrielle. Is she here? The one who betrayed me-- is she in this land?
Callisto: I'm merely your guide, Dear,
Along for a grin.
You'll get no free ride here.
If you want to know more-- then spin.
*Callisto guides Gabrielle into Illusia*
Callisto: Changeless, this great deep of elemental water remaineth forever pure. Because of this, it possesseth the quality of stability. From water do all forms have their beginning.
*Gabrielle's one humorous line of the episode*
Gabrielle: The Elysian fields. Only heroes wind up here. Dead heroes. *looking down on herself* Dead, naked heroes.
Joxer the Mighty (Bitter Suite variant)
Joxer: Joxer, the Mighty,
Master of geography,
Here to guide you on your way.
Stick to me, you'll never stray.
And if you're in a land that's new,
I'm the man who'll get you through.
Even when you're slightly nude...
I'm-- Joxer, I'm Joxer the mi-ghty!
*far away* (We're in Illusia...)
Gabrielle: So much for the Elysian Fields theory.
Joxer: *popping up next to her* Yeah.
Both: Ahhh!
Gabrielle: How did you-- ?! Joxer, go away! Can't you see, I'm naked?!
Joxer: Okay, but, maybe I could, like, help you out, with--
Gabrielle: Do-- !
Joxer: Being naked won't excuse ya.
Sing to talk, we're in Illusia.
War and Peace
Warriors: Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!
Praise the winds of chance that blew.
Xena's back, where friends are true.
We would fight to death for you-- brave Xena.
When your mighty chakram arcs,
Throwing fierce, magnetic sparks,
No one ever hits her marks-- like Xena!
Famed for prowess with a sword,
Who's as feared as is adored.
You've not lived till you've been gored-- by Xena!
Warrior One: You're the Warrior Princess
Who's as strong as an oak!
Warrior Two: You've got eyes that can tear out
The heart of a bloke!
Warrior Three: With one look you can wilt a flower!
Warrior Four: Curdle milk or make men cower!
Warriors: Welcome home, Xena, Welcome home!
Xena: *after Ares reveals himself* Ares. I thought as much. But why the big production number? What's the point?
Ares: You-- are the most divine, delicious warrior.
Warriors: (Xena!)
Ares: A man can't help saluting your return.
Warriors: (Xena!)
Ares: And if you start my heart,
It's just the way you slash and burn.
Bewitching woman, straining at the armor plate.
Warriors: (Xena!)
Ares: You singe me with the ardor you inflame.
Warriors: (Xena!)
Ares: And in my carnal heart,
There's not a sorry shred of shame.
Warriors: You and me love war!
Doesn't matter what it's for!
Pandemonium reigns
And we're bludgeoning brains!
Give us war, war, war!
Keep it down to a roar!
Warrior Five: Words of wisdom Ares said,
Ares: When in battle, Keep your head.
Warriors: Warriors love war, war, war! (Yeah!)
Villagers: Gabrielle! Gabrielle! Gabrielle!
O'er the bridge of tears she's crossed.
And she's paid a fearful cost.
Her blood innocence is lost-- Gabrielle.
Now the past has set her free.
And she's traveled home to be
With her old friends, you and me-- Gabrielle.
Man: You've been plucked out from the heart
Of our lives for so long.
First Woman: Now we're grateful you've come back
To the place you belong.
Second Woman: For what ails, the panacea,
Third Woman: Surely waits in Poteidia!
Villagers: Welcome home, Gabrielle, Welcome home!
Gabrielle: *upon seeing Lila* Lila! Sister! I-- I can't believe it!
Lila: Villains, fools, and kings
Have made their mark on you.
Leave their easy evil in the dust.
If your child had lived,
We'd surely make her welcome, too.
Villagers: You and me love peace,
With the ducks and goats and geese!
While the hours away,
Baking bread, pitching hay.
We love peace, peace, peace--
Simple joys that never cease.
Man: Nothing changes but the time--
Small Group of Villagers: We don't even change our mind!
Villagers: Villagers love peace, peace, peace!
Ares: Pulverizing foes requires strategy.
Warriors: Yeah!
Ares: There's no mortal born who meets your skill.
Warriors: Yeah!
Ares: Xena, join my vision-- don't deny your destiny!
Warriors: You and me love war!
Doesn't matter what it's for!
Warrior Six: Chop the tree down-- burn the root!
Ares: Vengeance can be such a hoot.
Warriors: Warriors love war, war, war!
Lila: Xena was no friend, she worked to twist your mind,
Though you tried to change her deadly ways.
Take this scythe--
It's just a case of killing to be kind.
Villagers: You and me love peace,
With the ducks and goats and geese!
Lila: Sit and watch the world go by.
Couple: Vegetate until you die.
Villagers: Villagers love peace, peace, peace!
Warriors & Villagers: Ah ah ah, Ah ah ah... Ah ah ah, Ah ah ah...
Ah ah ah, Ah ah ah... Ah ah ah, Ah ah ah...
Villagers: Peace!
Warriors: War!
Villagers: Peace!
Warriors: War!
Villagers: Peace!
Warriors: War!
Villagers: Peace!
Warriors: War!
Villagers/Warriors: Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!
Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!
Melt Into Me
Ares: You're lost and confused, but I understand.
This once beloved friend has been slain by your hand.
You feel all alone, betrayed and adrift
But maybe her loss can be viewed as a gift.
Now I'll be your rock, your strength and support
Your close confidant with whom you can consort.
I know you completely; come melt into me.
Unleash the power of your destiny.
You've proved to yourself, now that you've made the kill,
That you're just like me, with as evil a will.
Our forces are meant to be merged into one.
The world will be panicked when our work is done!
Let the music of war, with its lustful refrain,
Arouse us to heights with a passionate strain.
Imagine how awesome, together we'd be.
So feel what I'm feeling
Come melt into me.
Let Go
Callisto: Did that fill you with glee
To kill your little friend?
Did that ease your suffering
Or bring it to an end?
Let go...
All of your anger will poison you yet--
Unless you can just--
Let go...
*even in Illusia, Ares isn't so big a fan of Gabrielle*
Ares: Nothing more need be said.
Ding, dong-- the bitch is dead.
Hearts are Hurting (Part One)
Xena: My heart is hurting beyond words.
The pain is tearing up my soul.
These days have seen my spirit die,
My life propelled out of control.
My wounds lie naked to the world--
My depth of suffering exposed.
This damaged past can never heal
Until this nightmare book is closed.
Gabrielle: My heart is hurting beyond words.
The pain is tearing up my soul.
Please tell me how I can retrieve
The life that all this sadness stole?
Because of you this happened!
Because you had to carry out
Your vengeful, little plans!
Xena: It's you who should feel guilty!
Because of you my child is dead.
His blood is on your hands!
Gabrielle: If only you had never brought me there.
Xena: If only you had done what you were told.
Gabrielle: It's you who's to be blamed.
Xena: And you should be ashamed!
Gabrielle: It's your fault!
Xena: No, it's yours!
Gabrielle: How could you?!
Xena: How could you?!
Gabrielle: It's your fault!
Xena: It's your fault!
Hate Is The Star (Song of the Torment)
Torment: It begins very small,
Seems like nothing much at all.
Just a germ, just a speck, just a grain.
But the seed has been sewn,
And before you know it's grown,
It has spread through your life like a stain.
And its power will strangle your love and your joy.
And its hunger consumes-- for it lives to destroy!
Xena: Hatred, Gabrielle, that's what we're fighting -- hatred.
Torment & the Hatred Chorus: Hate is the star; it becomes who you are.
Not the hated but the hater
Has a torment that's greater.
It will eat you alive, consume you and spit you out.
Hate's gonna win, that there's no doubt about!
Hate doesn't care who you are!
Hate is the star!
Learning hate is an art.
Even people who are smart
Can be caught, can be crushed, can be creamed.
Hate has swallowed you whole.
Did you think you're in control?
Hate you thought, hate you spoke, hate you dreamed.
All your hate gave me substance--
Your lives are undone.
It's your eve of destruction--
Your hatred has won!
Hearts are Hurting (Part Two)
Xena: I never dreamed that we'd be distanced by a hate
That all the trust we had would go.
Gabrielle: How could I hate you?
Xena: How could it come to pass, this awful twist of fate?
Gabrielle: How could I hurt you?
Xena: This madness can't be so.
Gabrielle: I can't believe it.
Xena: I never dreamed that any barriers could rise.
Gabrielle: Or that I'd ever see the stranger in your eyes.
Xena: Our hearts were hurting both the same.
Gabrielle: The hurt was tearing up our souls.
Xena: The fury in us made us blind.
Gabrielle: We could not see beyond the pain.
Xena: If we can turn again to love.
Gabrielle: If we can heal these open wounds.
Xena: We'll leave this hatred far behind.
Gabrielle: So not a trace of hate remains.
Both: We'll overcome our damaged past!
And we'll grow stronger side by side!
To stand together through the storms!
We're safe 'cause love will be our guide!
*the final debt between Xena and Gabrielle*
Gabrielle: Xena, quick!
Xena: I can't.
Gabrielle: Of course you can.
Xena: It's no use, Gabrielle. It's Ming Tien. I killed him. I killed you, you bastard!
Gabrielle: You lied? You gave me your word. You lied.
The Love of Your Love
Xena: Yes, I lied.
Thought I could protect you from the truth.
Deliver you from evil,
Spare your innocence and youth.
That I could simply will it
Was the real untruth.
I was wrong.
I wore a mask to cover my deceit.
But underneath it all
I couldn't keep away my doubt.
Now I'm left without a mask
And one question left to ask.
I'm sorry, please help me, forgive me.
Don't hate me, don't leave me, forgive me.
Forgive me my debt as only you could.
Forgive me the hate; replace evil with good.
Forgive me and find out that you--
Will be able to forgive yourself, too.
*as Solan reappears* My dear Solan--
I never told you that you were my son.
I didn't know the days we had left were so few.
If I only knew, I'd have been with you.
I'm so sorry,
I couldn't be the mother you deserved.
And I regret that I missed your first step--
Your first word--
That I never heard. Now it seems absurd.
Can you forgive me?
Open up your heart and let me in.
No matter if the Fates against us turn.
There's one thing through all of this I've learned.
That what I need from you
Is to...
Forgive me, I'm sorry, believe me.
Stop hating, stop hurting, Forgive me.
Forgive those who'd harm you,
Do good for those who hate.
Forgive, if not forget,
I know it's not too late.
Forgive me and you'll discover, too,
That the love of your love is-- you.
Ostensibly this episode heals “the rift” between Xena and Gabrielle, though there are some differing opinions about all of that. Certainly the musical story aspect of this hour helped tie serious plotlines up more neatly than is the usual. I’ve seen this episode referred to as both an “opera” and a “rock opera.” I just love that it’s ultimately about the complicated relationship between two women who love each other, though there is a scintillating subplot that perhaps makes a case for Xena/Ares (never!) :P
First airing in February 1998, this is the premiere musical episode that defined the future for science fiction and fantasy shows. Eat your heart out, “Buffy.”
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Kind of feels weird to give this episode a plot synopsis. :P Might as well just follow the songs, which I’ll do later. But just to tie it all together…Xena and Gabrielle separate, to a snowy mountaintop and an Amazon encampment respectively, to mourn their losses. Real Ares, I assume, and a fake Callisto which is really a stand-in for Gabby’s subconscious appear to the two gals and extol the virtues of blame and revenge. So Xena rides into the Amazon camp, takes Gabs, er, prisoner, and is about to dump her off of a cliff. Gabby awakes in time to fight for her life, and they both go tumbling down…into Illusia! Now guided by a fantastical version of Callisto and a not so far-fetched version of Joxer, the gals first encounter their separate paths were they not in each other’s lives (war and peace, respectively.) They meet up to duel to the death, which Gabs, of course, loses. But the whole thing is an illusion—Gabs is fine, and the two of them go tumbling into a room that exacerbates the blame they place on each other, making it impossible for either of them to hear anything else. Unable to fix their bad behaviors there, they are then transported to a version of Dahak’s temple, where Gab ends up on the sacrificial altar and Xena is tied to Caesar’s crucifix. They learn about how their hate has defined and controlled them, and before phantoms of each other can strike killing blows, they finally make amends. Solan appears as the architect of Illusia to lead the ladies home…but before he’s able to do so, Xena must confront the ghost of Ming Tien, and admit that she killed him and lied to Gabs about it for foolish reasons. After a touching goodbye with her son, Xena and Gabrielle are transported back home where they happily renew their friendship.
We start in the real world, in a relatively familiar set up for a dramatic episode. Joseph LoDuca’s score is recognizable; Gabs is with the Amazons (and Joxer) and Xena is standing in fake snow that apparently smelled like gross cabbage, according to Lucy, being manipulated by Ares. Ares, perhaps, is the only character who stays consistent this hour. Whether in the real world or in Illusia, he’s all about getting his warrior princess back under his wing. I guess that I can say that Joxer is about the same in both dimensions, hee. Callisto starts as a projection of Gabby’s mind and then turns into a kooky projection of Solan’s, I guess. :P Even Argo refuses to “Gab drag” Gabrielle, so Xena uses a different horse. We only see Ephiny in the beginning, when Xena breaks her arm! :/ Man, those Amazonians did a shit job of protecting Gabrielle, though I suppose its standard protocol for folks to lose against Xena, hee. Still rather wish they were allowed to wear armor (or just cloth) around their midsections. Er, other than that, I can’t quite get over the fact that the Gab-drag should have been fatal. But that’s the magic of “Xenaverse,” I guess. Weird question—does it make Xena a better or worse person to drag Gabs all that way and revel in causing her all that pain, if not death? Well, I guess that the episode proper deals with enough questions about anger and forgiveness.
A whoosh.org commentator makes the case for the fact that Illusia is more about Xena’s journey than Xena and Gabrielle’s together. Xena is the first to arrive in the land, and Muse!Callisto has a whole song and dance with her, explaining “the rules,” (“What’s Still Unwritten…”) before Gabs even shows up. Man, that goofiness must’ve been fun for Hudson to play. :P I was also impressed with Michelle Nicastro, who sang Callisto’s parts. Susan Wood sang for Gabrielle and although she had a beautiful voice, it was a little more nasal than Renee’s, imho. CGI was ridiculous, but hey, they were on a budget in the late ’90s, so. I’m actually most taken with the Callisto who appears after Gabby’s death to chastise Xena for thinking that killing her “betrayer” would actually ease her suffering (“Let Go…”). If anyone knows that message, it’s Callisto. Though she doesn’t have the fortitude in real life, at least so far, to change her ways. Random tangent about Callisto at the beginning of the hour—rather cruel, isn’t it, for Gabs to use Callisto to taunt her about Xena killing her family, when in fact it was she who killed Gabby’s husband. These layers of violence go deep.
We then move to the “War and Peace” song, where of course, in Xena’s universe, the soldiers are lackeys and Ares is one sexy, sexy god. *fans self* Meanwhile, Gabrielle goes to a more pastoral version of Poteidia; I just loved the costumes. Apparently, one of the people with whom she had a brief interlude was Julie Moran, then of Entertainment Weekly. But I was far more thrilled that Willa O’Niell was able to reprise the role of Gabby’s sister, Lila! She even sang her own lines! But more importantly, both in and out of Illusia, she’s always been a little critical of Xena. And in this episode she brought up, “if your child had lived, we’d surely make her welcome, too,” which, VINDICATED! Seems like the show did entertain the notion that it was possible for Hope’s life to turn out much differently. Of course, after that, Lila turns into a bit of a hypocritical warmonger (“it’s just a case of killing to be kind,”) though on a macro level, who could blame her? Team Peace could use some major selling points, maybe a Peeta Mellark to coach them. :P Seriously, “vegetate until you die” is the best you can offer? Sheesh. But overall, man, you gotta give the choreographers props for staging this complicated number with all of these warriors/villagers extras. Bravo.
Anywho, after Xena kills the Gabs illusion she and Ares do this sexy waltz to “Melt Into Me,” where Kevin sings and Lucy is wearing an amazing red dress (representing death!) Lucy claims they were more or less stitching on her seconds before the shoot. :P But my favorite song is probably the next one, “Hearts are Hurting,” in the hall of echoes. What can I say, I’m a sucker for the feels…even if it’s technically contradictory for a song to start with “My heart is hurting beyond words/The pain is tearing up my soul…” and etc verbally describing pain, hee. But that’s pretty much the only complaint that I can levy against Joseph LoDuca and the lyricists whom he hired, Pamela Philips Oland and Dennis Spiegel. I’ll basically be copying and pasting the lyrics below, because they are amazing. Really drive the point home in an allotted amount of time. The “Hearts Are Hurting” reprieve moves from pain into forgiveness with Xena and Gabs singing in harmony; well done! The next song, in Dahak’s temple, is “Hate Is the Star,” and it’s all about the corruption of hate. Man, Gale Hawthorne and his ilk should have a listen. :P At least it did it’s work on Xena and Gabrielle. I thought Renee did a decent job of portraying some PTSD about Gabby being brought back to that place; it helped me take the character (and the show) more seriously. I’m also impressed with how they tied things up for Xena—about how her journey towards this brand of darkness really started at Caesar’s cross (we were reminded, this ep, about her vengeance towards Caesar inadvertently led Gabby to Dahak in the first place.) I’m also very happy that Xena had to confront her Ming Tien betrayal (the song “Love of Your Love” retroactively confirms why the duology was named “The Debt” at all.) I still kinda wish that her decision to kill him at all was more questioned, but hey, we had to get to her tearful goodbyes with Solan and all *feklempt* I know this is basically a plot device, but I love seeing Solan as so good and altruistic--the best part of Xena, really. Relatedly, very nice for Karl Urban, Marton Csokas and Daniel Sing to reprise their roles as Caesar, Khrafstar and Ming Tien, respectively, when they didn’t even have any lines. (Sing might’ve said “NOOOO!” melodramatically. :P) Along with Ares and Callisto, these are certainly among the most memorable villains of the show, and have been tormenting our girls for a long time.
Final points about this episode. According to whoosh.org, producer Steven Sears gave an internet interview around 2000, which claims that his intent with this episode was not to completely absolve things between the two girls, but to get them back to a place where they could “rebuild.” I like this explanation a lot better than the “yay, the rift is over!” celebration, because it leaves things open-ended. Much more true to life, methinks. “Xena” can be a campy show, and perhaps there’s no better time to say that than in reference to a musical episode. :P But the showrunners, particularly Robert Tapert, put a lot of thought into their decisions, too. This episode, I realize now, is filled with Tarot references. So I’ve gone to the official Wikipedia page to delve further into this issue. Callisto played “the fool” as Xena’s guide/muse and then “justice” after she killed Gabby. Xena was “the high priestess” in “What’s Still Unwritten…” “the chariot” in “War and Peace” and also, briefly, “death” for “Melt Into Me.” Gabrielle was “the star,” I think in the very beginning, “the empress” in “War and Peace” and “the world” post-death. Joxer was “the hanged man” (quite literally in the beginning) and then “the hermit” when Gabby “died.” I saw Ares and Lila as mirror images of each other in “War and Peace”, as they goaded Xena and Gabs, respectively, towards revenge. In tarot terms, Ares played “the emperor” and Lila was “the heirophant,” who forms a bridge between deity and humanity. Not quite sure what that’s about, except that Lila guided her sister towards her cosmic fight with Xena (and Gabs struck first.) And she was most sympathetic to the demigod, Hope, I suppose. Probably being too literal here. :P Anywho. The scenes were supposed to resemble “the high priestess,” “the wheel of fortune” (both kooky and symbolic with the animals, I thought,) “the hanged man,” “the lovers,” (some Joxer/Gabby shipping, too? :P) “the moon,” (over the warrior encampment) “the chariot,” (Xena/Ares pulled by sphinxes) “the tower,” (echo chamber) “judgment,” (Dahak’s temple) “the devil,” (referred to as “Torment”) “temperance,” and “the sun” (which I guess explains the beautiful sunset in the background!) The checkered floors in some scenes also show up in certain tarot cards. Other little moments, from Gabby being handed flowers to Joxer swinging over her, were taken from the cards as well. Even more inspiration came from “The Book of Tokens,” which alludes to the Hebrew lettering on the wheel and certain character actions. But methinks I’ll end on a simple note—obviously all of the water in this episode has to do with rebirth. Hee.
Disclaimer The musical genre was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In fact, the Producers sincerely hope you were A-MUSE-D by this episode.
Favorite Quotes:
*Ephiny's major contribution to the episode*
Ephiny: Three days, now. She's been undergoing the purification ritual for three days.
Joxer: That's crazy! Look, we have to get her out! She could be dying in there.
Ephiny: She was dying out here. You didn't see her at the death of her child -- the pain she was in -- the despair. When she and Xena parted, she came to us.
Joxer: If we leave her in there, she's gone.
Ephiny: She's already gone. Her only chance is to work through the pain.
*Ares, in the real world, eggs on Xena to kill Gabrielle*
Ares: *responding to her wailing* Nice vocal! But you sure can't dance to it. Look, I feel your pain OK -- but how much longer before you start doing something about it?
Xena: My son is dead, ya soul-less bastard! What can I do about that?
Ares: Just goes to prove what I've been telling you all along-- no good deed goes unpunished-- saving people, defending the weak, trusting someone who betrayed you.
Xena: Gabrielle.
Ares: This whole atonement kick you've been on lately -- it's not you. You're full of fire -- bending the world to your will -- full of rage. And revenge. Accept it, Xena. Embrace it. You know what to do -- who to kill.
*the Callisto voice in Gabby's head convinces her to blame Xena for her troubles*
Gabrielle: You're not real. You're in my mind.
Callisto: What difference does it make? You came here for the truth-- and the truth is that Xena made us both. She shaped our lives, changed our fates-- killed our familes.
Gabrielle: No-- I killed hers. Solan died because of my daughter.
Callisto: Because of Xena, you had a daughter. Her hatred for Caesar took you to Brittania.
Gabrielle: Yes-- b--
Callisto: Straight to Dahak, where she deserted you. Isn't that right? Isn't that right?
Gabrielle: Yes.
Callisto: And you hate her for it, don't you? For betraying you? For failing you? You hate her, don't you? Don't you? Don't you?!
Gabrielle: Yes!
*Callisto guides Xena into Illusia*
Callisto: Absorb thyself in this great sea of the waters of life. Dive deep in it-- until thou hast lost thyself. And having lost thyself, then thou shalt find thyself again. Even as it is written, "She had her dwelling in the great sea-- and was a fish therein." Aleph am I. From mine unfathomable will, the universe hath its beginning. In my boundless wisdom are the types and patterns of all things.
Song of the Fool
Callisto: Glad that you're feelin' strong,
Thought I might lose ya.
Don't use words, sing a song--
This is Illusia!
What's Still Unwritten...
Callisto: Xena, be warned,
Xena, beware.
By closing your eyes,
You can see what isn't there.
Xena, be calm.
Open your eyes.
Lies may be truth,
And truth may be lies.
Xena: All right, Callisto-- cut the song and dance. What's going on? Where are we?
Callisto: Fate is a wheel, it will reveal
All you've become-- All that you feel.
Destiny knows what has to be.
You'll pay the price. Nothing is free!
I'll be your guide, take the hand of your muse!
You just might lose your way
In the land of Illusia!!
Illusia is music,
A world built on rhyme.
It's carved out of space
In the absence of time.
You've tasted how evil
And good coexist.
The bitter and sweet of it--
Small White Dog: All in the lips that you kissed. (ahh)
Callisto: Lion and bull.
Eagle and Snake.
To live or die--
It's a choice you've got to make!
Can you undo what you create?
Step through the wheel...
Follow your fate.
Animals: The Fates have a fix on you.
We can play tricks on you.
We deal in truths you're too troubled to face.
Gamble the worth of you on the rebirth of you.
Don't turn away-- Don't start to fade.
What's still unwritten...
You can erase.
Callisto: Your villainous infamy
Tortures your soul.
Descent into evil
Must levy its toll.
The darkness that rots you
Has brought you to this.
Snake: Surrender serenity, Suffer sweet misery
Sin seeks its cursed abysssss.
Anubis: Oh, Xena, with death there is always Rebirth.
Sphinx: Come see with a vision denied you on Earth.
Callisto: Illusia is waiting -- we'll show you the way.
But all consequences are your own creation.
And there's a price you must pay!
Callisto & Animals: The Fates have a fix on you.
We can play tricks on you.
We deal in truths you're too troubled to face.
Gamble the worth of you on the rebirth of you.
Now is the time; this is the place.
What's still unwritten--
You can erase!
Illusia is music,
A world built on rhyme.
It's carved out of space
In the absence of--
Xena: All right, Callisto. You like little ditties? Fine. I got one for ya.
You're acting so strangely,
That I hardly know ya.
But still, I wouldn't trust you
As far as I could throw ya.
Callisto: *after Xena throws her down* Ow!
You're wrong not to trust one that knows you so well.
I never betrayed you. That was-- Gabrielle.
Xena: Gabrielle. Is she here? The one who betrayed me-- is she in this land?
Callisto: I'm merely your guide, Dear,
Along for a grin.
You'll get no free ride here.
If you want to know more-- then spin.
*Callisto guides Gabrielle into Illusia*
Callisto: Changeless, this great deep of elemental water remaineth forever pure. Because of this, it possesseth the quality of stability. From water do all forms have their beginning.
*Gabrielle's one humorous line of the episode*
Gabrielle: The Elysian fields. Only heroes wind up here. Dead heroes. *looking down on herself* Dead, naked heroes.
Joxer the Mighty (Bitter Suite variant)
Joxer: Joxer, the Mighty,
Master of geography,
Here to guide you on your way.
Stick to me, you'll never stray.
And if you're in a land that's new,
I'm the man who'll get you through.
Even when you're slightly nude...
I'm-- Joxer, I'm Joxer the mi-ghty!
*far away* (We're in Illusia...)
Gabrielle: So much for the Elysian Fields theory.
Joxer: *popping up next to her* Yeah.
Both: Ahhh!
Gabrielle: How did you-- ?! Joxer, go away! Can't you see, I'm naked?!
Joxer: Okay, but, maybe I could, like, help you out, with--
Gabrielle: Do-- !
Joxer: Being naked won't excuse ya.
Sing to talk, we're in Illusia.
War and Peace
Warriors: Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!
Praise the winds of chance that blew.
Xena's back, where friends are true.
We would fight to death for you-- brave Xena.
When your mighty chakram arcs,
Throwing fierce, magnetic sparks,
No one ever hits her marks-- like Xena!
Famed for prowess with a sword,
Who's as feared as is adored.
You've not lived till you've been gored-- by Xena!
Warrior One: You're the Warrior Princess
Who's as strong as an oak!
Warrior Two: You've got eyes that can tear out
The heart of a bloke!
Warrior Three: With one look you can wilt a flower!
Warrior Four: Curdle milk or make men cower!
Warriors: Welcome home, Xena, Welcome home!
Xena: *after Ares reveals himself* Ares. I thought as much. But why the big production number? What's the point?
Ares: You-- are the most divine, delicious warrior.
Warriors: (Xena!)
Ares: A man can't help saluting your return.
Warriors: (Xena!)
Ares: And if you start my heart,
It's just the way you slash and burn.
Bewitching woman, straining at the armor plate.
Warriors: (Xena!)
Ares: You singe me with the ardor you inflame.
Warriors: (Xena!)
Ares: And in my carnal heart,
There's not a sorry shred of shame.
Warriors: You and me love war!
Doesn't matter what it's for!
Pandemonium reigns
And we're bludgeoning brains!
Give us war, war, war!
Keep it down to a roar!
Warrior Five: Words of wisdom Ares said,
Ares: When in battle, Keep your head.
Warriors: Warriors love war, war, war! (Yeah!)
Villagers: Gabrielle! Gabrielle! Gabrielle!
O'er the bridge of tears she's crossed.
And she's paid a fearful cost.
Her blood innocence is lost-- Gabrielle.
Now the past has set her free.
And she's traveled home to be
With her old friends, you and me-- Gabrielle.
Man: You've been plucked out from the heart
Of our lives for so long.
First Woman: Now we're grateful you've come back
To the place you belong.
Second Woman: For what ails, the panacea,
Third Woman: Surely waits in Poteidia!
Villagers: Welcome home, Gabrielle, Welcome home!
Gabrielle: *upon seeing Lila* Lila! Sister! I-- I can't believe it!
Lila: Villains, fools, and kings
Have made their mark on you.
Leave their easy evil in the dust.
If your child had lived,
We'd surely make her welcome, too.
Villagers: You and me love peace,
With the ducks and goats and geese!
While the hours away,
Baking bread, pitching hay.
We love peace, peace, peace--
Simple joys that never cease.
Man: Nothing changes but the time--
Small Group of Villagers: We don't even change our mind!
Villagers: Villagers love peace, peace, peace!
Ares: Pulverizing foes requires strategy.
Warriors: Yeah!
Ares: There's no mortal born who meets your skill.
Warriors: Yeah!
Ares: Xena, join my vision-- don't deny your destiny!
Warriors: You and me love war!
Doesn't matter what it's for!
Warrior Six: Chop the tree down-- burn the root!
Ares: Vengeance can be such a hoot.
Warriors: Warriors love war, war, war!
Lila: Xena was no friend, she worked to twist your mind,
Though you tried to change her deadly ways.
Take this scythe--
It's just a case of killing to be kind.
Villagers: You and me love peace,
With the ducks and goats and geese!
Lila: Sit and watch the world go by.
Couple: Vegetate until you die.
Villagers: Villagers love peace, peace, peace!
| Warriors: | Villagers: |
We -- love -- war!
| Peace is such a lovely state War can kill you so can hate
|
Fear! Lies! Smite and smoke and pulverize!
| Here the simple life's a delight!
|
Pus -- and -- Gore.
| Just you put your hand in mine, Sure your future's on the line!
|
You've a son you must avenge. Know you must extract revenge!
| You must know that when
|
Don't be put aside by beauty, Xena you must do your duty.
| Hope died she freed you!
|
Warriors & Villagers: Ah ah ah, Ah ah ah... Ah ah ah, Ah ah ah...
Ah ah ah, Ah ah ah... Ah ah ah, Ah ah ah...
Villagers: Peace!
Warriors: War!
Villagers: Peace!
Warriors: War!
Villagers: Peace!
Warriors: War!
Villagers: Peace!
Warriors: War!
Villagers/Warriors: Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!
Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!/Peace!/War!
Melt Into Me
Ares: You're lost and confused, but I understand.
This once beloved friend has been slain by your hand.
You feel all alone, betrayed and adrift
But maybe her loss can be viewed as a gift.
Now I'll be your rock, your strength and support
Your close confidant with whom you can consort.
I know you completely; come melt into me.
Unleash the power of your destiny.
You've proved to yourself, now that you've made the kill,
That you're just like me, with as evil a will.
Our forces are meant to be merged into one.
The world will be panicked when our work is done!
Let the music of war, with its lustful refrain,
Arouse us to heights with a passionate strain.
Imagine how awesome, together we'd be.
So feel what I'm feeling
Come melt into me.
Let Go
Callisto: Did that fill you with glee
To kill your little friend?
Did that ease your suffering
Or bring it to an end?
Let go...
All of your anger will poison you yet--
Unless you can just--
Let go...
*even in Illusia, Ares isn't so big a fan of Gabrielle*
Ares: Nothing more need be said.
Ding, dong-- the bitch is dead.
Hearts are Hurting (Part One)
Xena: My heart is hurting beyond words.
The pain is tearing up my soul.
These days have seen my spirit die,
My life propelled out of control.
My wounds lie naked to the world--
My depth of suffering exposed.
This damaged past can never heal
Until this nightmare book is closed.
Gabrielle: My heart is hurting beyond words.
The pain is tearing up my soul.
Please tell me how I can retrieve
The life that all this sadness stole?
Because of you this happened!
Because you had to carry out
Your vengeful, little plans!
Xena: It's you who should feel guilty!
Because of you my child is dead.
His blood is on your hands!
Gabrielle: If only you had never brought me there.
Xena: If only you had done what you were told.
Gabrielle: It's you who's to be blamed.
Xena: And you should be ashamed!
Gabrielle: It's your fault!
Xena: No, it's yours!
Gabrielle: How could you?!
Xena: How could you?!
Gabrielle: It's your fault!
Xena: It's your fault!
Hate Is The Star (Song of the Torment)
Torment: It begins very small,
Seems like nothing much at all.
Just a germ, just a speck, just a grain.
But the seed has been sewn,
And before you know it's grown,
It has spread through your life like a stain.
And its power will strangle your love and your joy.
And its hunger consumes-- for it lives to destroy!
Xena: Hatred, Gabrielle, that's what we're fighting -- hatred.
Torment & the Hatred Chorus: Hate is the star; it becomes who you are.
Not the hated but the hater
Has a torment that's greater.
It will eat you alive, consume you and spit you out.
Hate's gonna win, that there's no doubt about!
Hate doesn't care who you are!
Hate is the star!
Learning hate is an art.
Even people who are smart
Can be caught, can be crushed, can be creamed.
Hate has swallowed you whole.
Did you think you're in control?
Hate you thought, hate you spoke, hate you dreamed.
All your hate gave me substance--
Your lives are undone.
It's your eve of destruction--
Your hatred has won!
Hearts are Hurting (Part Two)
Xena: I never dreamed that we'd be distanced by a hate
That all the trust we had would go.
Gabrielle: How could I hate you?
Xena: How could it come to pass, this awful twist of fate?
Gabrielle: How could I hurt you?
Xena: This madness can't be so.
Gabrielle: I can't believe it.
Xena: I never dreamed that any barriers could rise.
Gabrielle: Or that I'd ever see the stranger in your eyes.
Xena: Our hearts were hurting both the same.
Gabrielle: The hurt was tearing up our souls.
Xena: The fury in us made us blind.
Gabrielle: We could not see beyond the pain.
Xena: If we can turn again to love.
Gabrielle: If we can heal these open wounds.
Xena: We'll leave this hatred far behind.
Gabrielle: So not a trace of hate remains.
Both: We'll overcome our damaged past!
And we'll grow stronger side by side!
To stand together through the storms!
We're safe 'cause love will be our guide!
*the final debt between Xena and Gabrielle*
Gabrielle: Xena, quick!
Xena: I can't.
Gabrielle: Of course you can.
Xena: It's no use, Gabrielle. It's Ming Tien. I killed him. I killed you, you bastard!
Gabrielle: You lied? You gave me your word. You lied.
The Love of Your Love
Xena: Yes, I lied.
Thought I could protect you from the truth.
Deliver you from evil,
Spare your innocence and youth.
That I could simply will it
Was the real untruth.
I was wrong.
I wore a mask to cover my deceit.
But underneath it all
I couldn't keep away my doubt.
Now I'm left without a mask
And one question left to ask.
I'm sorry, please help me, forgive me.
Don't hate me, don't leave me, forgive me.
Forgive me my debt as only you could.
Forgive me the hate; replace evil with good.
Forgive me and find out that you--
Will be able to forgive yourself, too.
*as Solan reappears* My dear Solan--
I never told you that you were my son.
I didn't know the days we had left were so few.
If I only knew, I'd have been with you.
I'm so sorry,
I couldn't be the mother you deserved.
And I regret that I missed your first step--
Your first word--
That I never heard. Now it seems absurd.
Can you forgive me?
Open up your heart and let me in.
No matter if the Fates against us turn.
There's one thing through all of this I've learned.
That what I need from you
Is to...
Forgive me, I'm sorry, believe me.
Stop hating, stop hurting, Forgive me.
Forgive those who'd harm you,
Do good for those who hate.
Forgive, if not forget,
I know it's not too late.
Forgive me and you'll discover, too,
That the love of your love is-- you.
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