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scifi_rewatchPretty straightforward story in terms of plot, and definitely very throw-away, but it was also a lot of fun. We got some humor, we got some action, we got the moral of the story, all the good stuff. Maybe even some subtext! :D
Sure, it’s kind of a remake of “Dreamworker” from last season, but less mystical and with more of an established relationship between our protagonists. But this one is also less character defining for Gabrielle; there’s no struggle on her “blood innocence” arc and relationship to killing. This played more to Renee’s comedic stripes, and particularly poked fun at a morbid trend with her “boy toys.” :P
Got some strong performances from two of the guest stars, imho—Sydney Jackson as the effeminate etiquette advisor, Vidalus, and especially Jeremy Callaghan as Palaemon. He made a pretty straightforward character into someone who was fun to watch, which is perhaps why the show ultimately brought him back. Not in the same role, alas, but as a certain, high up Roman. Keep your eyes peeled!
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Could I start with Gabrielle’s haggling in the market? :P Because it was fun to watch; I enjoyed vendor, Ajay Vasisht’s performance as well. Man, I would love to go shopping on a Xenaverse set, what with all of those RenFaire fabrics and the like. :P Also we got the Bulgarian music for the first time in ages, lending to that exotic feel. This is the life! And I guess Gab’s haggling attitude is a nice bit of foreshadowing about how she uses her usual, humorous antics to try and get out of her bigger situation later. Was like a return to some old, but largely enjoyable, character beats.
Anywho, what’s “Xena” without a little morality tale thrown in? Enter Palaemon, as the more hunky but still cocksure goon who wants to one up Xena’s old bad-to-the-bone reputation. Cocksure badasses tend to irritate me, but Palaemon made up for it with mental skills. He called Xena’s bluff with the pinch! And he successfully kidnapped Gabrielle—hard to do these days. I’m a little more “meh” over the fact that he wants to be the next Xena but he’s never actually killed before (wonder what the impressive scar on his face is about then.) I suppose it’s easier to redeem him at the end if his arc is “I’ll stop pretending to be a killer” rather than “I won’t become a worse killer.” He’s kind of the old-time Gabrielle of this episode, preserving his “blood innocence.” He’s also much more cunning than the average goon on show, justifying his ultimate ability to change of heart. I’ll also give my props to Lucy, because her preachiness wasn’t too preachy, and we also got some emotional reaction about remembering her past.
Meanwhile, she’s also going blind, in an obviously temporary plot device, primarily meant to raise the stakes (but not really) about how Xena would get to Gabs. I mean, she could still stop arrows before they impaled peoples’ faces—guess that’s more of an auditory thing. :P Then again, it took her awhile to get her bearings when she was ultimately in the room with Gabrielle locked up in a box. But, you know. :P Minor delay in asskicking, with the added caveat that even though she sacrificed getting to Athens for her miracle cure, of course Vadalus has said herbs growing in his garden. :P Anywho, the secondary reason for Xena’s blindness was to force Palaemon to actually work with her rather than just trying to kill her all of the time, which led to his character development. If plot devices must exist, I’m usually happy when it plays into character growth.
And in terms of plot devices this episode, Xena as temporarily blind looks positively normal in comparison to most of the clusterfuck that’s going on in the oh-so-politically-scummy kingdom of whatever…cheap Westeros knockoff? :P Where apparently it’s public policy dictates that only if the king dies while married, then it will pass to his more stereotypically Evil Advisor goon, Apex. Technically speaking, wouldn’t thr court want to keep Gabs alive to see if she's pregnant? I mean, I get why Apex wants her dead. He’s the unwavering villain who provides the action plotline. But…what the hell is the obsession with Gab lookalikes? Considering that King Solus is already dead, does it matter to build up some character quirk that he’s into blond, blue-eyed gals? Actually, what I liked best about Solus was that he was a parody of Gabrielle’s long line of doomed boy toys, which she herself pointed out. Oh, macabre.
Speaking of theatrics…the second noteworthy secondary character, Vidalus, is a hoot. He’s sort of like a spruced up version of Salmoneus—he’s in it for the art, not the money. :P Passive aggressively mocking the poor and the ugly was never so much fun. He played off well against Renee’s uncultured clunkiness—lots of fun moments about her peasant’s dishwasher hands and her inability to make a fluttery wave, but I think my favorite was forcing her to walk with scrolls on her head. :P (And Gabs still tripped!) Also, his two horn-buns hair style kinda looks like ’80s rock. The dresses were pretty shades, but they featured what FemPop calls “the cleavage window.” :P Vidalus was letting his freak flag fly! I mean, he beat Apex by knocking him on the back with a torch. And later, he wanted to start a little heroic crime-fighting duo with Palaemon! :O Honestly…I think that sounds like a far more entertaining show than Hercules and Iolaus. :P Sorry?
And finally….Team Subtext!!! Ranges the gamut this episode, it does. There’s the straightforward, schmaltzy love poem from Xena to Gabrielle once she gets her eyesight back. And then there’s Gabrielle’s plea to King Solus, back when she thinks he’s alive and calling the shots. Well, first she has to get past Vidalus with her lovelorn tale about being destined for another whom she “can’t be with right now.” I suppose more than conventional straight thinking might point to her dearly departed husband, Perdicas, whom she literally can’t be with right now. But hey, denial is a powerful love blocker, too. :P Not to mention that it’s hard to argue that Perdicas has had as much effect on Gabs in this show as Xena has. No matter the sexual circumstances, I think the battling bard would agree that the warrior princess has her heart. (Or at least her goat, as she teases her in the wrap-up scene. :P) Burn on, Team Subtext!!
Disclaimer: Once again, Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Favorite Quotes:
*Gabrielle drives a hard bargain*
Gabrielle: Uh. How much for this piece of scrap?
Vendor: That finely-woven Egyptian prayer scarf is five dinars.
Gabrielle: You’ve gotta be kidding.
Vendor: I suppose I could knock a dinar off the price for you.
Gabrielle: Yeah, why don’t you? Some fool might come by who wants to throw away four dinars.
Vendor: I can go as low as three dinars-- but, that’s firm.
Gabrielle: Well, you know, I guess I could use it to wipe the sweat off my horse. One dinar.
*scary lines to end a teaser*
Palaemon: That irritating little blonde? She won’t be needing it anymore.
Xena: And why not?
Palaemon: Because I killed her, Xena. And now, I’m gonna kill you.
*our first hint about the upcoming Road to Redemption*
Xena: What did you do with Gabrielle? And don’t tell me you killed her! I know that’s a lie.
Palaemon: Why are you so sure I didn’t kill her?
Xena: ‘Cause when I got the oil in my eyes, you didn’t strike. You haven’t got the killer instinct.
*Palaemon is a formidable foe*
Palaemon: I called your bluff! I knew you wouldn’t let me die! Not when I know where your little buddy is! Did you see that?! Tell everyone! Palaemon called Xena’s bluff! Now, it’s your reputation that’s hurting! Admit it. I’m a very formidable foe.
*at least the blonde obsession makes for a mouth-quirky joke?*
Apex: You’re sure to win his heart; you’re the right type. Just look around you. As you can see, we have a long tradition of making innocuous blue-eyed blondes our Queen.
Gabrielle: Yeah, well, I’m more of a redhead, really.
*Vidalus’s introduction*
Vidalus: Tell me all about her. Who is she? A princess from City-State. A Countess from Carthage. Oh, they are so sophisticated!
Apex: I’m afraid not, Vidalus. She’s a commoner.
Vidalus: A commoner?
Apex: Yes, but it does present a problem. As you know, the royal court must approve the king’s choice. I’m counting on you to turn the little peasant trash into a Queen.
Vidalus: Me? But I was trained at the royal finishing school, not on Mt. Olympus.
*Vidalus and Gabrielle’s introduction*
Vidalus: Oh, listen, every bride gets the jitters. Is he the right one? Will it last? But, don’t you worry. Vidalus will take care of everything.
Gabrielle: What’s Vidalus?
Vidalus: That’s me.
Gabrielle: All right. Look. My best friend is Xena, Warrior Princess. And she is not going to like this forced wedding thing, if you get my drift.
Vidalus: A little husky, don’t you think?
Gabrielle: Husky?
Vidalus: This whole threat thing. It’s not very ladylike. And take your hands off your hips! You look like a scrub-woman!
*Palaemon and Xena disagree on priorities*
Palaemon: You must be pretty scared right now.
Xena: Of you? You must not be paying attention.
Palaemon: Not of me. Of the unknown. You don’t know what’s happened to your eyes.
Xena: Yes, I do. They’ve been saturated with sumac. It causes blindness-- temporary, if treated within a day.
Palaemon: And if it isn’t?
Xena: I’ll be blind for life.
Palaemon: What’s the treatment?
Xena: Cleansing your eyes with a solution of palm oil and Egyptian senna.
Palaemon: It sounds hard to find.
Xena: Any market in Athens’ll have it.
Palaemon: Well, if I were you, I’d be headed for Athens.
Xena: Well, you are not me. I’ve gotta save my friend.
*the Redemption Path continues*
Xena: You are wrong to model yourself on who I used to be. I was confused back then.
Palaemon: No, you were committed. You had power and nothing could stop you. People knew who you were. You commanded respect.
Xena: I commanded fear. It was no way to live.
*Palaemon’s ultimatum*
Palaemon: I’ll pull you up! And help you to get Gabrielle back, on one condition! When you can see again, I want another shot! A fair fight to the death! If you don’t agree, I’ll cut the vine. Agreed?
Xena: Agreed.
*the Queen Elizabeth wave isn’t going well*
Vidalus: No, no! Like this. That’s better. Now, work on the look: haughty, confident. You are not reaching out for a glass of beer in a tavern. You are extending your hand for a kiss. It should flutter up, like a graceful dove.
Gabrielle: Flutter up like a graceful-- *hand smacks into his face*
Vidalus: Ooh!
*Gabrielle’s speech…team subtext?*
Gabrielle: Have you ever been in love, Vidalus? Huh? I mean, really in love.
Vidalus: Well, there was a certain someone.
Gabrielle: Now, when you think of that person, can you imagine being with anyone else? Well, now you know how I feel. I can’t marry the king because my heart belongs to another. And even though I can’t be with them now, I’m not ready to be with anyone else. So you have to help me, Vidalis, please?
*Xena reacts emotionally to mention of her past*
Palaemon: So, what’s the plan? Hey! I know! We’ll, we’ll invade, the same way you did in Vivlauser, a few years ago! Setting the oil reserves on fire was a stroke of genius! They say you could hear their men scream all the way to Athens. Or, how about the way you slaughtered those men in Corinth, eh?
Xena: *slams him into tree* Those aren’t pleasant memories for me. And I don’t like you talking about them as though they are!
*for once, Gabrielle’s boy toy is dead before she gets there*
Gabrielle: Your Majesty, I’m sorry to disturb you before the wedding, but, uh-- Well, you know, I thought we should meet sooner or later, right? I knew you’d understand. *hand flops out of bed* Cold hands. You must be as nervous about this as I am. Or not. The truth is, that-- Well, I can’t marry you. *head flops* No, no, no, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not ready for this kind of commitment. Which is probably better for you anyway, because all the men I get serious about seem to wind up dead. Your Majesty? *body falls into her lap* Sweet mother of Zeus!
*Apex becomes king because of reasons*
Apex: You see, our kingdom is governed by a constitution. If the king dies without an heir, then the throne passes to his cousin in another kingdom. If, however, the king is married at his death, the monarchy is dissolved, and the power goes to the kingdom’s ministry.
Vidalus: In other words, Apex becomes king.
Apex: Why, yes. What a happy coincidence.
*the Road to Redemption continues*
Palaemon: You don’t like me very much, do you?
Xena: I don’t like who you pretend you are.
Palaemon: What do you mean, pretend?
Xena: I’ve met a lot of bad men. They’ve hardened their hearts. You’re not one of them yet.”
Palaemon: What are you talking about? I’ll show no mercy.
Xena: I’m not buying it. It would have been pretty easy for you to leave me hanging off that ravine, but you couldn’t.
Palaemon: You know why I saved you.
Xena: So you can kill me in combat? I’m not buying that, either. You had your chance in the marketplace. You know what? I don’t think you’ve ever killed anyone.
*when Gabrielle’s confined to a box headed to the fires, blind Xena shows her weakness*
Apex: Xena. Sorry to start without you. Your little friend’s about to journey to the other side.
Xena: Where’s Gabrielle?
Apex: Problem with your eyes, Xena?
*spoken to Vidalus; of course it was meant to be something else :P*
Apex: Out of my way, fishcake!
*team subtext gets schmaltzy as Xena regains her eyesight while looking at Gabrielle*
Xena: Now, that’s a sight for sore eyes.
*the moral of the story is that Xena and Gabrielle are really the ideal*
Palaemon: I was right about something, Xena.
Xena: What was that?
Palaemon: I said I could learn something from you, and I did.
Xena: Oh?
Palaemon: That you are who you pretend to be. So you better pretend to be something you can live with. I think I’m gonna pretend-- to be good for a while. See how things work out.
Xena: I think you’ll like it.
Palaemon: Thanks, Xena.
Gabrielle: You know, he’s kind of attractive when he’s not kidnapping me.
Vidalus: I agree. You know, he and I dealt with those guards quite handily. I think I might follow him and see if he needs a-- sidekick.
Gabrielle: You know, it’s pretty good work, if you can get it.
*we end on the girls teasing each other (team subtext? /joke gone too far*
Gabrielle: You know, this hasn’t been very good for my self-esteem. He didn’t like my hands, my walk, my stomach, my curtsey. Can you curtsey? *Xena curtsies* I, I hate you-- In a good way. What about that royal wave thing, huh?
Xena: Oh, yeah, two hands. Check it out.
___
Sure, it’s kind of a remake of “Dreamworker” from last season, but less mystical and with more of an established relationship between our protagonists. But this one is also less character defining for Gabrielle; there’s no struggle on her “blood innocence” arc and relationship to killing. This played more to Renee’s comedic stripes, and particularly poked fun at a morbid trend with her “boy toys.” :P
Got some strong performances from two of the guest stars, imho—Sydney Jackson as the effeminate etiquette advisor, Vidalus, and especially Jeremy Callaghan as Palaemon. He made a pretty straightforward character into someone who was fun to watch, which is perhaps why the show ultimately brought him back. Not in the same role, alas, but as a certain, high up Roman. Keep your eyes peeled!
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
Could I start with Gabrielle’s haggling in the market? :P Because it was fun to watch; I enjoyed vendor, Ajay Vasisht’s performance as well. Man, I would love to go shopping on a Xenaverse set, what with all of those RenFaire fabrics and the like. :P Also we got the Bulgarian music for the first time in ages, lending to that exotic feel. This is the life! And I guess Gab’s haggling attitude is a nice bit of foreshadowing about how she uses her usual, humorous antics to try and get out of her bigger situation later. Was like a return to some old, but largely enjoyable, character beats.
Anywho, what’s “Xena” without a little morality tale thrown in? Enter Palaemon, as the more hunky but still cocksure goon who wants to one up Xena’s old bad-to-the-bone reputation. Cocksure badasses tend to irritate me, but Palaemon made up for it with mental skills. He called Xena’s bluff with the pinch! And he successfully kidnapped Gabrielle—hard to do these days. I’m a little more “meh” over the fact that he wants to be the next Xena but he’s never actually killed before (wonder what the impressive scar on his face is about then.) I suppose it’s easier to redeem him at the end if his arc is “I’ll stop pretending to be a killer” rather than “I won’t become a worse killer.” He’s kind of the old-time Gabrielle of this episode, preserving his “blood innocence.” He’s also much more cunning than the average goon on show, justifying his ultimate ability to change of heart. I’ll also give my props to Lucy, because her preachiness wasn’t too preachy, and we also got some emotional reaction about remembering her past.
Meanwhile, she’s also going blind, in an obviously temporary plot device, primarily meant to raise the stakes (but not really) about how Xena would get to Gabs. I mean, she could still stop arrows before they impaled peoples’ faces—guess that’s more of an auditory thing. :P Then again, it took her awhile to get her bearings when she was ultimately in the room with Gabrielle locked up in a box. But, you know. :P Minor delay in asskicking, with the added caveat that even though she sacrificed getting to Athens for her miracle cure, of course Vadalus has said herbs growing in his garden. :P Anywho, the secondary reason for Xena’s blindness was to force Palaemon to actually work with her rather than just trying to kill her all of the time, which led to his character development. If plot devices must exist, I’m usually happy when it plays into character growth.
And in terms of plot devices this episode, Xena as temporarily blind looks positively normal in comparison to most of the clusterfuck that’s going on in the oh-so-politically-scummy kingdom of whatever…cheap Westeros knockoff? :P Where apparently it’s public policy dictates that only if the king dies while married, then it will pass to his more stereotypically Evil Advisor goon, Apex. Technically speaking, wouldn’t thr court want to keep Gabs alive to see if she's pregnant? I mean, I get why Apex wants her dead. He’s the unwavering villain who provides the action plotline. But…what the hell is the obsession with Gab lookalikes? Considering that King Solus is already dead, does it matter to build up some character quirk that he’s into blond, blue-eyed gals? Actually, what I liked best about Solus was that he was a parody of Gabrielle’s long line of doomed boy toys, which she herself pointed out. Oh, macabre.
Speaking of theatrics…the second noteworthy secondary character, Vidalus, is a hoot. He’s sort of like a spruced up version of Salmoneus—he’s in it for the art, not the money. :P Passive aggressively mocking the poor and the ugly was never so much fun. He played off well against Renee’s uncultured clunkiness—lots of fun moments about her peasant’s dishwasher hands and her inability to make a fluttery wave, but I think my favorite was forcing her to walk with scrolls on her head. :P (And Gabs still tripped!) Also, his two horn-buns hair style kinda looks like ’80s rock. The dresses were pretty shades, but they featured what FemPop calls “the cleavage window.” :P Vidalus was letting his freak flag fly! I mean, he beat Apex by knocking him on the back with a torch. And later, he wanted to start a little heroic crime-fighting duo with Palaemon! :O Honestly…I think that sounds like a far more entertaining show than Hercules and Iolaus. :P Sorry?
And finally….Team Subtext!!! Ranges the gamut this episode, it does. There’s the straightforward, schmaltzy love poem from Xena to Gabrielle once she gets her eyesight back. And then there’s Gabrielle’s plea to King Solus, back when she thinks he’s alive and calling the shots. Well, first she has to get past Vidalus with her lovelorn tale about being destined for another whom she “can’t be with right now.” I suppose more than conventional straight thinking might point to her dearly departed husband, Perdicas, whom she literally can’t be with right now. But hey, denial is a powerful love blocker, too. :P Not to mention that it’s hard to argue that Perdicas has had as much effect on Gabs in this show as Xena has. No matter the sexual circumstances, I think the battling bard would agree that the warrior princess has her heart. (Or at least her goat, as she teases her in the wrap-up scene. :P) Burn on, Team Subtext!!
Disclaimer: Once again, Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Favorite Quotes:
*Gabrielle drives a hard bargain*
Gabrielle: Uh. How much for this piece of scrap?
Vendor: That finely-woven Egyptian prayer scarf is five dinars.
Gabrielle: You’ve gotta be kidding.
Vendor: I suppose I could knock a dinar off the price for you.
Gabrielle: Yeah, why don’t you? Some fool might come by who wants to throw away four dinars.
Vendor: I can go as low as three dinars-- but, that’s firm.
Gabrielle: Well, you know, I guess I could use it to wipe the sweat off my horse. One dinar.
*scary lines to end a teaser*
Palaemon: That irritating little blonde? She won’t be needing it anymore.
Xena: And why not?
Palaemon: Because I killed her, Xena. And now, I’m gonna kill you.
*our first hint about the upcoming Road to Redemption*
Xena: What did you do with Gabrielle? And don’t tell me you killed her! I know that’s a lie.
Palaemon: Why are you so sure I didn’t kill her?
Xena: ‘Cause when I got the oil in my eyes, you didn’t strike. You haven’t got the killer instinct.
*Palaemon is a formidable foe*
Palaemon: I called your bluff! I knew you wouldn’t let me die! Not when I know where your little buddy is! Did you see that?! Tell everyone! Palaemon called Xena’s bluff! Now, it’s your reputation that’s hurting! Admit it. I’m a very formidable foe.
*at least the blonde obsession makes for a mouth-quirky joke?*
Apex: You’re sure to win his heart; you’re the right type. Just look around you. As you can see, we have a long tradition of making innocuous blue-eyed blondes our Queen.
Gabrielle: Yeah, well, I’m more of a redhead, really.
*Vidalus’s introduction*
Vidalus: Tell me all about her. Who is she? A princess from City-State. A Countess from Carthage. Oh, they are so sophisticated!
Apex: I’m afraid not, Vidalus. She’s a commoner.
Vidalus: A commoner?
Apex: Yes, but it does present a problem. As you know, the royal court must approve the king’s choice. I’m counting on you to turn the little peasant trash into a Queen.
Vidalus: Me? But I was trained at the royal finishing school, not on Mt. Olympus.
*Vidalus and Gabrielle’s introduction*
Vidalus: Oh, listen, every bride gets the jitters. Is he the right one? Will it last? But, don’t you worry. Vidalus will take care of everything.
Gabrielle: What’s Vidalus?
Vidalus: That’s me.
Gabrielle: All right. Look. My best friend is Xena, Warrior Princess. And she is not going to like this forced wedding thing, if you get my drift.
Vidalus: A little husky, don’t you think?
Gabrielle: Husky?
Vidalus: This whole threat thing. It’s not very ladylike. And take your hands off your hips! You look like a scrub-woman!
*Palaemon and Xena disagree on priorities*
Palaemon: You must be pretty scared right now.
Xena: Of you? You must not be paying attention.
Palaemon: Not of me. Of the unknown. You don’t know what’s happened to your eyes.
Xena: Yes, I do. They’ve been saturated with sumac. It causes blindness-- temporary, if treated within a day.
Palaemon: And if it isn’t?
Xena: I’ll be blind for life.
Palaemon: What’s the treatment?
Xena: Cleansing your eyes with a solution of palm oil and Egyptian senna.
Palaemon: It sounds hard to find.
Xena: Any market in Athens’ll have it.
Palaemon: Well, if I were you, I’d be headed for Athens.
Xena: Well, you are not me. I’ve gotta save my friend.
*the Redemption Path continues*
Xena: You are wrong to model yourself on who I used to be. I was confused back then.
Palaemon: No, you were committed. You had power and nothing could stop you. People knew who you were. You commanded respect.
Xena: I commanded fear. It was no way to live.
*Palaemon’s ultimatum*
Palaemon: I’ll pull you up! And help you to get Gabrielle back, on one condition! When you can see again, I want another shot! A fair fight to the death! If you don’t agree, I’ll cut the vine. Agreed?
Xena: Agreed.
*the Queen Elizabeth wave isn’t going well*
Vidalus: No, no! Like this. That’s better. Now, work on the look: haughty, confident. You are not reaching out for a glass of beer in a tavern. You are extending your hand for a kiss. It should flutter up, like a graceful dove.
Gabrielle: Flutter up like a graceful-- *hand smacks into his face*
Vidalus: Ooh!
*Gabrielle’s speech…team subtext?*
Gabrielle: Have you ever been in love, Vidalus? Huh? I mean, really in love.
Vidalus: Well, there was a certain someone.
Gabrielle: Now, when you think of that person, can you imagine being with anyone else? Well, now you know how I feel. I can’t marry the king because my heart belongs to another. And even though I can’t be with them now, I’m not ready to be with anyone else. So you have to help me, Vidalis, please?
*Xena reacts emotionally to mention of her past*
Palaemon: So, what’s the plan? Hey! I know! We’ll, we’ll invade, the same way you did in Vivlauser, a few years ago! Setting the oil reserves on fire was a stroke of genius! They say you could hear their men scream all the way to Athens. Or, how about the way you slaughtered those men in Corinth, eh?
Xena: *slams him into tree* Those aren’t pleasant memories for me. And I don’t like you talking about them as though they are!
*for once, Gabrielle’s boy toy is dead before she gets there*
Gabrielle: Your Majesty, I’m sorry to disturb you before the wedding, but, uh-- Well, you know, I thought we should meet sooner or later, right? I knew you’d understand. *hand flops out of bed* Cold hands. You must be as nervous about this as I am. Or not. The truth is, that-- Well, I can’t marry you. *head flops* No, no, no, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not ready for this kind of commitment. Which is probably better for you anyway, because all the men I get serious about seem to wind up dead. Your Majesty? *body falls into her lap* Sweet mother of Zeus!
*Apex becomes king because of reasons*
Apex: You see, our kingdom is governed by a constitution. If the king dies without an heir, then the throne passes to his cousin in another kingdom. If, however, the king is married at his death, the monarchy is dissolved, and the power goes to the kingdom’s ministry.
Vidalus: In other words, Apex becomes king.
Apex: Why, yes. What a happy coincidence.
*the Road to Redemption continues*
Palaemon: You don’t like me very much, do you?
Xena: I don’t like who you pretend you are.
Palaemon: What do you mean, pretend?
Xena: I’ve met a lot of bad men. They’ve hardened their hearts. You’re not one of them yet.”
Palaemon: What are you talking about? I’ll show no mercy.
Xena: I’m not buying it. It would have been pretty easy for you to leave me hanging off that ravine, but you couldn’t.
Palaemon: You know why I saved you.
Xena: So you can kill me in combat? I’m not buying that, either. You had your chance in the marketplace. You know what? I don’t think you’ve ever killed anyone.
*when Gabrielle’s confined to a box headed to the fires, blind Xena shows her weakness*
Apex: Xena. Sorry to start without you. Your little friend’s about to journey to the other side.
Xena: Where’s Gabrielle?
Apex: Problem with your eyes, Xena?
*spoken to Vidalus; of course it was meant to be something else :P*
Apex: Out of my way, fishcake!
*team subtext gets schmaltzy as Xena regains her eyesight while looking at Gabrielle*
Xena: Now, that’s a sight for sore eyes.
*the moral of the story is that Xena and Gabrielle are really the ideal*
Palaemon: I was right about something, Xena.
Xena: What was that?
Palaemon: I said I could learn something from you, and I did.
Xena: Oh?
Palaemon: That you are who you pretend to be. So you better pretend to be something you can live with. I think I’m gonna pretend-- to be good for a while. See how things work out.
Xena: I think you’ll like it.
Palaemon: Thanks, Xena.
Gabrielle: You know, he’s kind of attractive when he’s not kidnapping me.
Vidalus: I agree. You know, he and I dealt with those guards quite handily. I think I might follow him and see if he needs a-- sidekick.
Gabrielle: You know, it’s pretty good work, if you can get it.
*we end on the girls teasing each other (team subtext? /joke gone too far*
Gabrielle: You know, this hasn’t been very good for my self-esteem. He didn’t like my hands, my walk, my stomach, my curtsey. Can you curtsey? *Xena curtsies* I, I hate you-- In a good way. What about that royal wave thing, huh?
Xena: Oh, yeah, two hands. Check it out.
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