![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
chavalah.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
scifi_rewatchThis is another one of those episodes that came about due to Lucy’s earlier pelvic injury; it’s “Xena-lite.” It’s also kinda silly and ridiculous, but it features Ted Raimi’s comedic range as Joxer, and it’s also an introduction to Alexandra Tydings as Aprhodite. She brings so much fun and amusement to that character.
And we also have Karl Urban returning for his third (and final) “Xena” role as Aprhodite’s son, Cupid. Personally, I think I’d rather have Caesar back, but he certainly doesn’t fit the tone of this episode, hee. Cupid’s ok. :P And the rest of the extras are over-dramatic, but hey, it’s a “Xena” comedy; it is what it is.
Most importantly, without a doubt, is the official introduction of the Ballad of Joxer the Mighty to canon. :D It’s even featured over the credits! Listen to it here; I really think it’s “Xena’s” official fanon song.
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
With this episode, I think we are finally rounding out all of the post-pelvic changes to the lineup, where it was supposed to go from “Destiny” to “Execution,” which now airs after this one. Of all the completely new additions, perhaps this one is the weakest though it’s hard for me to rag on it too much, because of Aphrodite. I just love the valley girl element that she brings to our Goddess of Love; it just makes the whole character and world fresh and fun. I mean, I know we already do a lot of modern-day meshing into this Xenite “Ancient Greece,” but I dunno, when it comes to the god characters, they tend to be more stoic and masculine. She has the same ambitions, of wanting worship and respect; she just expresses herself in different ways. And I kind of love how she brushes off her son’s romantic notions of love, and instead realizes that there are many different kinds. (Here’s a story-building question, though…if Ileandra and Sarpedon are truly in love, then why did they need Cupid’s arrow in the first place?)
But we start with Xena dropping Gabrielle off by the side of the road. (Fun fact—she’s off to visit King Lias…Diana’s father? I like continuity.) Why not, say, a town? Probably so it’s easier for Gabs to run into Joxer and then Aphrodite can entice him discreetly, yadda yadda. Maybe I can even make it fit the story by saying that Gabs prefers walking. Obviously she and Xena had to have a destination in mind for where they’d meet up later. I’ve officially given this too much thought. :P (But hey, other than the final scene, this is the only time when I can do some analysis on Xena, so.)
I like how Gabby is able to hold her own against those goons accosting Princess Ileandra and her ladies, at least for a little while. I also like that she was ultimately overpowered—not just because it served the plot, but because it makes sense for the character. Going from zero to badass on the ass-kicking scale just doesn’t happen overnight. (But she did get to “chakram” a rock into a bell at one point!) I also appreciate that, once again, Gabs is the straight man of this scenario. It’s been happening with more regularity in recent episodes that she’s not the fallback comedian, or when she is it’s not as goofy as it used to be. Ted does that better. :P I prefer Renee’s more nuanced humor. (I also love how she gets Aprhodite to back off and reverse the spell, hee. Fits for how both characters are portrayed this ep…and it sows the seeds for a recurring Gab/Aph relationship! *zips lips*)
Suave Joxer (Fempop alludes to him as the Stephan to normal Joxer’s Urkel,) certainly has a way with all the ladies, except for Gabrielle. I suppose the purpose of the straight man is to see through all of the fishiness that’s surrounding her. (And there is that one moment with the dip-and-kiss where she almost loses herself…lol.) Actually, I was kinda annoyed by how easily Ileandra fell to suave Joxer’s charms, especially when her fiancé was coded as such a nice guy! Obviously for plot reasons, but. And I suppose that I should point out that for all of Sarpedon’s “nice guy” vibes, he certainly didn’t know how to tell the difference between true love and a spell. In terms of comedy, he was definitely the least interesting amongst all of the lady fawning and the two father kings overreacting to everything. And all that swashbuckling…sheesh. I prefer Xena kicking ass with her own bare hands. :P And feet.
Finally, I’ve got to give my props, more specifically, to Ted’s performance. Both Joxers were comedic—the new one was kind of in the line of Jaques from “The Xena Scrolls”—but he played them both so differently as well. I kinda feel for normal Joxer, who seemed even humorously sub-par to the new one, but then at least stoic Xena came back to suss out that he has a good heart (kinda nice that they have a sweet moment, considering that most of what she does in the series is have a go at him.) Final Joxer note: he’s so woebegone about his romantic life, but whatever happened to Meg? I guess they’re in the fling phase right now. :P
Speaking of lack of humor in a comedic episode, this disclaimer was straight-laced rather than a joke. I admit to knowing little and less about the 1955 movie, “Court Jester,” but Fempop asserts that “Xena” show runners basically just transplanted the entire story. Works for me! And I appreciate how, in this show and in others, they find bits of inspiration from what’s proceeded them in cinema and other means of storytelling.
Disclaimer: The producers wish to acknowledge the inspiration of Danny Kaye and pay tribute to the classic motion picture "Court Jester"
Favorite Quotes:
*Xena and Gabrielle set up the episode*
Xena: Gabrielle, relax. Enjoy yourself for a couple o’ days. I can handle this without you.
Gabrielle: Hmm. Fine. Maybe there are a few problems around here that I can handle without you.
Xena: Well, if there are, I’m sure you’re up to the challenge. See you in a couple o’ days.
Gabrielle: ’I’m sure you’re up to the challenge.’ How patronizing can you get?!
*introduction of the Ballad of Joxer the Mighty*
Joxer: Where’s Xena?
Gabrielle: Ah-- she’s off being a hero.
Joxer: Oh. How come you’re not with her?
Gabrielle: ’Cause I’m a sidekick-- obviously expendable, when push comes to shove.
Joxer: Hmm. Wait, wait, wait! That‘s great! Don’t you get it? You’re a sidekick without a hero. And I’m a hero without a sidekick.
Gabrielle: Of course. You’re a hero. A hero of what?
Joxer: I am Joxer the Mighty. I’m the greatest hero that ever was. [Sings] I’m Joxer the mighty; he roams through the country--
Gabrielle: Joxer-- I’m not in the mood for this.
*mother and son have a valley girl argument*
Aphrodite: I have an overwhelming sense of grodiness, Cupid.
Cupid: Why? What’s the problem?
Aphrodite: You did your gooey love-thing on Princess Ileandra and Prince Sarpedon.
Cupid: Yeah-- they’re a cooking couple-- it’s set.
Aphrodite: But their marriage will unite their two kingdoms!
Cupid: Exactly. Look, get to the point, Mom. I’m real busy.
Aphrodite: Their fathers plan to dismantle my temples that line the border. If I lose those temples, I’ll have fewer than that hagster, Athena.
Cupid: So you lose a few crummy temples! Bit deal! This is love!”
Aphrodite: That’s way harsh, Cupid. I’m Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Temples are my kahunas-- the way I know whether I’m happening or not. Now, I want you to undo this thing.
*Aphrodite propositions Joxer with the bell necklace*
Aphrodite: Hi, there, studmuffin. I mean you, big guy. I need a strong warrior type to do me a favor. I’d be ever so grateful. Take this to Princess Ileandra.
*Suave Joxer makes his first appearance*
Joxer: My sword is always ready to pleasure you, my lady.
*real Joxer has trouble rekindling the romance with Ileandra*
Joxer: Of course, of course, it’s all coming back to me, now. They had cross-bows, right? I mean cata-- catapults? Chariots? Whatever-- I mean, I was very fierce when I-- when I took them out and-- listen, as far as your skin is concerned-- ah, it reminds me of-- cream-- just before it curdles-- ‘cause that’s when it’s the best.
*the father kings don’t have enough respect for Aphrodite’s temples*
Lynaeus: It’s been a long time coming. Now, to rid ourselves of these pesky temples to Aphrodite.
Aphrodite: Pesky!
Barus: This one on your land blocks my view of the river.
Aphrodite: Who would wanna look at a stupid river, when you could look at me? Tell him, Linius.
Lynaeus: Done. I’ve always thought this one was ugly.
Aphrodite: Ugly?!
Cupid: Hey, show some class, Mom. You can’t always have everything your way.
*…then, when the tables are turned after a lady in waiting spills the beans about Ileandra and suave Joxer…*
Barus: Who are you calling a harlot?! This is vicious slander!
Lynaeus: Perhaps-- but I’m stopping all negotiations till we get to the bottom of this.”
Barus: No! I’m stopping all negotiations until I get to the bottom of this!
Aphrodite: Lust versus love. You’re just over your head, Sonny.
Cupid: How could you do that?! That’s way not fair!
Aphrodite: All right-- I suggest we continue this conversation when we’ve both mellowed. I’m outta here.
*Aprhodite brings back suave Joxer*
Joxer: Wait a minute. You mean, Sarpedon and Ileandra need my help?
Aphrodite: Duh! Oh, and one other thing-- [rings bell]
Joxer: Your beauty inspires me to do the manliest of deeds.
Aphrodite: Ooh! I am so good; but when I’m bad, I’m better.
*Aphrodite’s wise advice to her son*
Aphrodite: Oh, get a grip, Cupie! Love isn’t just about happy endings. There’s also jealous love, and-- unrequited love, and tragic love. And when you strip away all the tinsel, it’s really just about hormones, isn’t it? Don’t frown-- it’ll give you lines.
*Gabrielle physically trying to restrain the false couple*
Gabrielle: No, no, no! No, look! I don’t-- I don’t know what’s going on-- whether it’s some sort of sickness or something. But I’m gonna find out. And I’m gonna take you back to the man that you love.
Ileandra: I’m with the man I love. Can’t you just leave us alone? We’ll set the world aflame with our passion.
Joxer: Don’t fight the heart, Gabrielle. It’s a powerful little muscle.
Ileandra: I want to become one with you.
Joxer: Hmm.
Ileandra: Can’t we lose your sidekick?
Joxer: Sure.
Gabrielle: I think I’m gonna be sick.
*Sarpedon and his father are at odds*
Lynaeus: He must be a hired man. Perhaps King Baris didn’t favor your marriage, after all.
Sarpedon: He was fierce and passionate. A man like that can’t be bought.
Lynaeus: Can you be certain of that? We will attack at dawn.
Sarpedon: No! Ileandra went with him willingly. She has feelings for this warrior. She’s made her choice. I’m not gonna stand in the way of her happiness.
Lynaeus: Prepare the men!
*suave Joxer (or is it Gabrielle?) is a meanie*
Gabrielle: Now, let’s go over this again.
Joxer: I already told you-- I know nothing of this bumbling idiot of whom you speak. I am the one and only Joxer.
*real Joxer tries to see the bright side, even from jail*
Joxer: Wow-- did you hear that? Ileandra’s really in love with me. She chose me over Sarpedon.
Gabrielle: No, Joxer. She chose the other one-- the other Joxer. The one who just stupidly beat Sarpedon in Battle, and then romanced Ileandra from under his nose.
Joxer: Wow… I really did that. No wonder they put me in these chains. There’s no telling what I might do! Wow, this warrior haze is really great. I’m gonna put myself under again. [holds breath]
*Gabrielle jumps through hoops in order to solve this riddle*
Gabrielle: Did anything unusual happen to you that morning?
Joxer: Uhhh-- I woke up, and I ate breakfast.
Gabrielle: After that?
Joxer: Um-- um-- yeah, I, ah-- found you-- um-- guarded your rear, met Aphrodite, had a pomegranate-- it had a lot of seeds. I don’t like the kind with--
Gabrielle: Wait a minute. Did you say you met Aphrodite?
*OK, ironically funny Aphrodite is my fave of the episode (sorry, Joxers)*
Aphrodite: Could you be any more clumsy?! This is like a brand-new antique.
*Gabrielle has trouble getting through to Aphrodite*
Gabrielle: So you’re going to let an innocent man die?
Aphrodite: Oh, come on! No one’s really innocent. Well-- maybe you. Besides-- I can’t break the spell. If I did, everyone would think I was pressured into it by some mortal. My goddess stock would plummet.
Gabrielle: But--
Aphrodite: I gotta bail. Bodacious waves at Naxos. Later.
*Jealous Sarpedon wants some tips from the master*
Sarpedon: Tell me, Joxer, what’s your secret?
Joxer: Well, I-- try to eat right, exercise, although, uh-- I do get a little constipated sometimes. You know?
*Poor Sarpedon can’t keep up with Ileandra’s Joxer-oriented mood swings*
Sarpedon: I’m sorry. My love, for you is still as strong. I would gladly die for you.
Ileandra: Oh, you’re so noble. But, would you mind moving? I really must watch him fight.
*Gabrielle finally one-ups Aphrodite*
Aphrodite: You don’t know much about love, do you?
Gabrielle: I know it’s not war. Now, look what they’re doing to your temple.
Aphrodite: All the more reason I don’t wanna lose my other temples.
Gabrielle: If you don’t stop this, I’ll take Joxer on a tour of all your temples.
Aphrodite: All right, I give. He’s the idiot full time, again.
*Xena’s brief, inspirational speech to Joxer*
Xena: The gods can’t give us anything that isn’t in our hearts. Aphrodite just used what was already there. The real Joxer may not be the best swordsman around, but he’s always had the heart of a lion.
___
And we also have Karl Urban returning for his third (and final) “Xena” role as Aprhodite’s son, Cupid. Personally, I think I’d rather have Caesar back, but he certainly doesn’t fit the tone of this episode, hee. Cupid’s ok. :P And the rest of the extras are over-dramatic, but hey, it’s a “Xena” comedy; it is what it is.
Most importantly, without a doubt, is the official introduction of the Ballad of Joxer the Mighty to canon. :D It’s even featured over the credits! Listen to it here; I really think it’s “Xena’s” official fanon song.
Summary is here, courtesy of whoosh.org.
With this episode, I think we are finally rounding out all of the post-pelvic changes to the lineup, where it was supposed to go from “Destiny” to “Execution,” which now airs after this one. Of all the completely new additions, perhaps this one is the weakest though it’s hard for me to rag on it too much, because of Aphrodite. I just love the valley girl element that she brings to our Goddess of Love; it just makes the whole character and world fresh and fun. I mean, I know we already do a lot of modern-day meshing into this Xenite “Ancient Greece,” but I dunno, when it comes to the god characters, they tend to be more stoic and masculine. She has the same ambitions, of wanting worship and respect; she just expresses herself in different ways. And I kind of love how she brushes off her son’s romantic notions of love, and instead realizes that there are many different kinds. (Here’s a story-building question, though…if Ileandra and Sarpedon are truly in love, then why did they need Cupid’s arrow in the first place?)
But we start with Xena dropping Gabrielle off by the side of the road. (Fun fact—she’s off to visit King Lias…Diana’s father? I like continuity.) Why not, say, a town? Probably so it’s easier for Gabs to run into Joxer and then Aphrodite can entice him discreetly, yadda yadda. Maybe I can even make it fit the story by saying that Gabs prefers walking. Obviously she and Xena had to have a destination in mind for where they’d meet up later. I’ve officially given this too much thought. :P (But hey, other than the final scene, this is the only time when I can do some analysis on Xena, so.)
I like how Gabby is able to hold her own against those goons accosting Princess Ileandra and her ladies, at least for a little while. I also like that she was ultimately overpowered—not just because it served the plot, but because it makes sense for the character. Going from zero to badass on the ass-kicking scale just doesn’t happen overnight. (But she did get to “chakram” a rock into a bell at one point!) I also appreciate that, once again, Gabs is the straight man of this scenario. It’s been happening with more regularity in recent episodes that she’s not the fallback comedian, or when she is it’s not as goofy as it used to be. Ted does that better. :P I prefer Renee’s more nuanced humor. (I also love how she gets Aprhodite to back off and reverse the spell, hee. Fits for how both characters are portrayed this ep…and it sows the seeds for a recurring Gab/Aph relationship! *zips lips*)
Suave Joxer (Fempop alludes to him as the Stephan to normal Joxer’s Urkel,) certainly has a way with all the ladies, except for Gabrielle. I suppose the purpose of the straight man is to see through all of the fishiness that’s surrounding her. (And there is that one moment with the dip-and-kiss where she almost loses herself…lol.) Actually, I was kinda annoyed by how easily Ileandra fell to suave Joxer’s charms, especially when her fiancé was coded as such a nice guy! Obviously for plot reasons, but. And I suppose that I should point out that for all of Sarpedon’s “nice guy” vibes, he certainly didn’t know how to tell the difference between true love and a spell. In terms of comedy, he was definitely the least interesting amongst all of the lady fawning and the two father kings overreacting to everything. And all that swashbuckling…sheesh. I prefer Xena kicking ass with her own bare hands. :P And feet.
Finally, I’ve got to give my props, more specifically, to Ted’s performance. Both Joxers were comedic—the new one was kind of in the line of Jaques from “The Xena Scrolls”—but he played them both so differently as well. I kinda feel for normal Joxer, who seemed even humorously sub-par to the new one, but then at least stoic Xena came back to suss out that he has a good heart (kinda nice that they have a sweet moment, considering that most of what she does in the series is have a go at him.) Final Joxer note: he’s so woebegone about his romantic life, but whatever happened to Meg? I guess they’re in the fling phase right now. :P
Speaking of lack of humor in a comedic episode, this disclaimer was straight-laced rather than a joke. I admit to knowing little and less about the 1955 movie, “Court Jester,” but Fempop asserts that “Xena” show runners basically just transplanted the entire story. Works for me! And I appreciate how, in this show and in others, they find bits of inspiration from what’s proceeded them in cinema and other means of storytelling.
Disclaimer: The producers wish to acknowledge the inspiration of Danny Kaye and pay tribute to the classic motion picture "Court Jester"
Favorite Quotes:
*Xena and Gabrielle set up the episode*
Xena: Gabrielle, relax. Enjoy yourself for a couple o’ days. I can handle this without you.
Gabrielle: Hmm. Fine. Maybe there are a few problems around here that I can handle without you.
Xena: Well, if there are, I’m sure you’re up to the challenge. See you in a couple o’ days.
Gabrielle: ’I’m sure you’re up to the challenge.’ How patronizing can you get?!
*introduction of the Ballad of Joxer the Mighty*
Joxer: Where’s Xena?
Gabrielle: Ah-- she’s off being a hero.
Joxer: Oh. How come you’re not with her?
Gabrielle: ’Cause I’m a sidekick-- obviously expendable, when push comes to shove.
Joxer: Hmm. Wait, wait, wait! That‘s great! Don’t you get it? You’re a sidekick without a hero. And I’m a hero without a sidekick.
Gabrielle: Of course. You’re a hero. A hero of what?
Joxer: I am Joxer the Mighty. I’m the greatest hero that ever was. [Sings] I’m Joxer the mighty; he roams through the country--
Gabrielle: Joxer-- I’m not in the mood for this.
*mother and son have a valley girl argument*
Aphrodite: I have an overwhelming sense of grodiness, Cupid.
Cupid: Why? What’s the problem?
Aphrodite: You did your gooey love-thing on Princess Ileandra and Prince Sarpedon.
Cupid: Yeah-- they’re a cooking couple-- it’s set.
Aphrodite: But their marriage will unite their two kingdoms!
Cupid: Exactly. Look, get to the point, Mom. I’m real busy.
Aphrodite: Their fathers plan to dismantle my temples that line the border. If I lose those temples, I’ll have fewer than that hagster, Athena.
Cupid: So you lose a few crummy temples! Bit deal! This is love!”
Aphrodite: That’s way harsh, Cupid. I’m Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Temples are my kahunas-- the way I know whether I’m happening or not. Now, I want you to undo this thing.
*Aphrodite propositions Joxer with the bell necklace*
Aphrodite: Hi, there, studmuffin. I mean you, big guy. I need a strong warrior type to do me a favor. I’d be ever so grateful. Take this to Princess Ileandra.
*Suave Joxer makes his first appearance*
Joxer: My sword is always ready to pleasure you, my lady.
*real Joxer has trouble rekindling the romance with Ileandra*
Joxer: Of course, of course, it’s all coming back to me, now. They had cross-bows, right? I mean cata-- catapults? Chariots? Whatever-- I mean, I was very fierce when I-- when I took them out and-- listen, as far as your skin is concerned-- ah, it reminds me of-- cream-- just before it curdles-- ‘cause that’s when it’s the best.
*the father kings don’t have enough respect for Aphrodite’s temples*
Lynaeus: It’s been a long time coming. Now, to rid ourselves of these pesky temples to Aphrodite.
Aphrodite: Pesky!
Barus: This one on your land blocks my view of the river.
Aphrodite: Who would wanna look at a stupid river, when you could look at me? Tell him, Linius.
Lynaeus: Done. I’ve always thought this one was ugly.
Aphrodite: Ugly?!
Cupid: Hey, show some class, Mom. You can’t always have everything your way.
*…then, when the tables are turned after a lady in waiting spills the beans about Ileandra and suave Joxer…*
Barus: Who are you calling a harlot?! This is vicious slander!
Lynaeus: Perhaps-- but I’m stopping all negotiations till we get to the bottom of this.”
Barus: No! I’m stopping all negotiations until I get to the bottom of this!
Aphrodite: Lust versus love. You’re just over your head, Sonny.
Cupid: How could you do that?! That’s way not fair!
Aphrodite: All right-- I suggest we continue this conversation when we’ve both mellowed. I’m outta here.
*Aprhodite brings back suave Joxer*
Joxer: Wait a minute. You mean, Sarpedon and Ileandra need my help?
Aphrodite: Duh! Oh, and one other thing-- [rings bell]
Joxer: Your beauty inspires me to do the manliest of deeds.
Aphrodite: Ooh! I am so good; but when I’m bad, I’m better.
*Aphrodite’s wise advice to her son*
Aphrodite: Oh, get a grip, Cupie! Love isn’t just about happy endings. There’s also jealous love, and-- unrequited love, and tragic love. And when you strip away all the tinsel, it’s really just about hormones, isn’t it? Don’t frown-- it’ll give you lines.
*Gabrielle physically trying to restrain the false couple*
Gabrielle: No, no, no! No, look! I don’t-- I don’t know what’s going on-- whether it’s some sort of sickness or something. But I’m gonna find out. And I’m gonna take you back to the man that you love.
Ileandra: I’m with the man I love. Can’t you just leave us alone? We’ll set the world aflame with our passion.
Joxer: Don’t fight the heart, Gabrielle. It’s a powerful little muscle.
Ileandra: I want to become one with you.
Joxer: Hmm.
Ileandra: Can’t we lose your sidekick?
Joxer: Sure.
Gabrielle: I think I’m gonna be sick.
*Sarpedon and his father are at odds*
Lynaeus: He must be a hired man. Perhaps King Baris didn’t favor your marriage, after all.
Sarpedon: He was fierce and passionate. A man like that can’t be bought.
Lynaeus: Can you be certain of that? We will attack at dawn.
Sarpedon: No! Ileandra went with him willingly. She has feelings for this warrior. She’s made her choice. I’m not gonna stand in the way of her happiness.
Lynaeus: Prepare the men!
*suave Joxer (or is it Gabrielle?) is a meanie*
Gabrielle: Now, let’s go over this again.
Joxer: I already told you-- I know nothing of this bumbling idiot of whom you speak. I am the one and only Joxer.
*real Joxer tries to see the bright side, even from jail*
Joxer: Wow-- did you hear that? Ileandra’s really in love with me. She chose me over Sarpedon.
Gabrielle: No, Joxer. She chose the other one-- the other Joxer. The one who just stupidly beat Sarpedon in Battle, and then romanced Ileandra from under his nose.
Joxer: Wow… I really did that. No wonder they put me in these chains. There’s no telling what I might do! Wow, this warrior haze is really great. I’m gonna put myself under again. [holds breath]
*Gabrielle jumps through hoops in order to solve this riddle*
Gabrielle: Did anything unusual happen to you that morning?
Joxer: Uhhh-- I woke up, and I ate breakfast.
Gabrielle: After that?
Joxer: Um-- um-- yeah, I, ah-- found you-- um-- guarded your rear, met Aphrodite, had a pomegranate-- it had a lot of seeds. I don’t like the kind with--
Gabrielle: Wait a minute. Did you say you met Aphrodite?
*OK, ironically funny Aphrodite is my fave of the episode (sorry, Joxers)*
Aphrodite: Could you be any more clumsy?! This is like a brand-new antique.
*Gabrielle has trouble getting through to Aphrodite*
Gabrielle: So you’re going to let an innocent man die?
Aphrodite: Oh, come on! No one’s really innocent. Well-- maybe you. Besides-- I can’t break the spell. If I did, everyone would think I was pressured into it by some mortal. My goddess stock would plummet.
Gabrielle: But--
Aphrodite: I gotta bail. Bodacious waves at Naxos. Later.
*Jealous Sarpedon wants some tips from the master*
Sarpedon: Tell me, Joxer, what’s your secret?
Joxer: Well, I-- try to eat right, exercise, although, uh-- I do get a little constipated sometimes. You know?
*Poor Sarpedon can’t keep up with Ileandra’s Joxer-oriented mood swings*
Sarpedon: I’m sorry. My love, for you is still as strong. I would gladly die for you.
Ileandra: Oh, you’re so noble. But, would you mind moving? I really must watch him fight.
*Gabrielle finally one-ups Aphrodite*
Aphrodite: You don’t know much about love, do you?
Gabrielle: I know it’s not war. Now, look what they’re doing to your temple.
Aphrodite: All the more reason I don’t wanna lose my other temples.
Gabrielle: If you don’t stop this, I’ll take Joxer on a tour of all your temples.
Aphrodite: All right, I give. He’s the idiot full time, again.
*Xena’s brief, inspirational speech to Joxer*
Xena: The gods can’t give us anything that isn’t in our hearts. Aphrodite just used what was already there. The real Joxer may not be the best swordsman around, but he’s always had the heart of a lion.
___
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}