Xena: Warrior Princess Episode 1.18: “The Prodigal”

[chavalah.livejournal.com]

I have mixed but mostly positive feelings about this episode. I suppose it’s convenient timing for Gabrielle to suddenly lose her nerve like that, and over such a small altercation besides, but maybe that’s the way it happens for people living the life of danger—that something standard suddenly stops you up? Perhaps she was just at this point in her warrior training. :P Xena seems to think so.

I liked the interactions between Gabrielle and Meleager; they had good chemistry and I bought their common ground freeze-up connection. But the return to Potadeia was more of a slapstick routine than anything. Maybe that’s why Gabrielle and Lila’s dynamic about serious hurt and familial separation (speaking of such, where were the parents?) fell short for me. The acting was a bit wooden…hope it shapes up for upcoming episodes where Lila is again a guest character!


Xena and Gabrielle traverse rocky terrain and the bard gives up writing for a spunky melody on the pan flute. Argo, apparently, is not a fan. :P Gabrielle has delusions of grandeur, comparing herself to Orpheus, that maybe if she played well enough, the rocks ahead would move of their own accord. Xena quickly squashes that notion.

Time for an obligatory goon entrance! They enter with a cart of logs, demanding money lest the girls be squashed. It’s all an elaborate scheme to get to the line “stuck between a rock and a hard place.” Which of course they aren’t, because Xena starts kicking butt. Gabs joins in, too, perhaps a little distractedly. Meanwhile, one of the goons lets loose the cart! Xena tries to tell Gabs to lie down, but our little bard is frozen; ultimately Xena must pull her. The logs to splattering harmlessly, leaving the goons to run away.

Xena thinks this is a good start to the morning but Gabs is a bit more subdued. She realizes her life with the warrior princess has been full of tight spots with cyclopses, Titans and evil dream gods. Xena shrugs off the freeze up; it happens sometimes. It’s ok to be scared. But it put us at risk, Gabs persists. What if it’s worse tomorrow? We can see where this line of thinking is headed. (So much for her breakthrough at the Athens Academy for Performing Bards, re living out adventure!) Xena tries to convince her that all is well, but ultimately realizes that she can’t. “I can’t help you with this. You’re going to have to figure it out by yourself.” Gabs decides to go home and talk to her sister, Lila, disappointing Xena who hoped she’d open up to her. But she lets her go, with a sad little goodbye wave to her back. :-/

Gabby wanders alone, turning an inked piece of parchment this way and that. “How is it that Man can solve the Riddle of the Sphinx, but he still can’t make a decent road map?” We’ll be pondering that one for a couple thousand more years. :P A cart goes by, but fails to give desperate Gabrielle a lift…the trend continues even as she suggestively wiggles her hips to sultry music. Finally, screaming “you son of a—“ at a passing cart leads him to turn around; it’s the guy she caught a ride from in the premiere, when she was trying to catch up to Xena! They exchange amusing small talk on the road before he drops her off near Potadeia. She’s about to take a shortcut through the woods, which he’s hesitant about. As Gabs turns we understand why—she’s draped her bag over her stomach to make herself appear pregnant. :P When he’s in the distance, she takes it off and gets going.

In the woods, she runs into a haunted man sweeping up near gravestones by his dilapidated home. It takes Gabs awhile to get him to respond; what happened here? The warrior Damon attacked when, instead of handing food over, the man gave it to his starving son. :-/ Anyway, Damon’s history now…he’s headed for a place called Potadeia! :-O Gabs runs!

Potadeia looks ok from a distance, but up close the streets are deserted with tumbleweed blowing. Gabs prods her way into a building and comes across people shouting “hurray!” like at a surprise party. Although they weren’t expecting Gabs, Lila runs forward to give her a hug. Gabs tries to warn them of Damon coming but they already know; he’s been attacking them for awhile, and they’re waiting for Meleager the Mighty to be their champion. “Isn’t he the guy who singlehandedy killed 100 men at the Battle of Liguria?” The townspeople argue over numbers until finally Meleager himself, dressed in mail to trumpeting music, ups it to 317…and then crashes over dead drunk. :/ Uh oh.

Lila and Gabs are stuck caring for the passed-out Meleager because of Gabby’s new understanding of warriors. Gabs scoffs—Xena would never act like this; it shows a total lack of respect. “Well, if Xena’s so perfect I’m surprised that you can stand to be around simple people like us—you know, your family,” Lila snips. It’ll basically become her theme of the episode. For now, as they take off Meleager’s boots they fall backwards into the square.

A village leader, Pharis, is trying to introduce Meleager the Mighty, but Mr. Mighty isn’t making an appearance. He finally belches from behind them, needs prodding to get right the name of the town and his battle with “someone.” His mind is a little less fuzzy on the money he’s owed. Pharis shows him the strong box and reminds him that he’s only supposed to get half upfront. “Alright, just checking,” Meleager says defensively. He sets the villagers to creating an arsenal of all their weapons. Then he hits on a woman with a nice hat. Great skills.

Gabrielle wants to talk to Lila about her snit. “We haven’t talked for months. Why start now?” Is Lila’s contribution. Meleager continues to pontificate to a dying crowd as Gabs attempts to get to the bottom of the angst. “I’m going to get our meat skewer. It’s not much of a weapon, but at least I can rely on it.” Oh, snap. Gabs follows her out to the edge of town where they discuss nothing new…until they see Damon’s men coming! They quickly run back inside to get Meleager…who is quite obviously way too drunk to do much. What a rock and a hard place! ;)

The men make their way into town when Gab’s voice stops them—“unless you want to fight Meleager the Mighty.” The dudes start up a similar argument about how many people he’s killed; “I can’t hold this killing machine up forever,” Gab warns, and sure enough, her shoulder that’s holding up his draped arm is looking a little shaky. :P From a distance she can get away with the conceit. The men choose to run, leaving Lila to pop up from behind a crate where she has ropes tied to Meleager’s arm like a marionette. As she argues with Gabs about the hopelessness of the situation, his arms go up and down.

Meanwhile, Damon rides into his camp on horseback and asks for confirmation that the men saw Meleager. More arguments about how many men he’s killed, but Damon is interested in a different number: 50,000 dinars for his capture. Uh oh. The warlord Cassius had two sons who were among Meleager’s 52903268453 dead.

Gabs and Lila are back on Meleager duty as he sleeps off drunkenness. As Gabs sends Lila for cold water, Meleager jumps to. Our bard lectures him on his duties and he scoffs; “What would you know, a farm girl like you? How could you begin to understand the kind of work I do or how I live my life?” “You might be surprised.” Bad a bing. But further talking leads Gab to realize that Meleager drinks because he lost his nerve. Sounds familiar! But this is no time to lose nerve—Meleager is all Potadeia has; they can’t even afford weapons as well. Gabs wrests the wine away from him until the job is done. “What will I drink?” Meleager complains. Perfect time for Lila to douse some water on him. :P

Meleager and Gabs discuss strategy in the woods while Lila attempts to hang onto the conversation. They ultimately split up so that the girls can look for some coverage trees, from where they can launch an ambush. I mean duh, Lila, Why are you so slow? It’s a perfect avenue for Lila to start snarking on the Xena thing again. She finally gets down to the business of her jealousy. “Next to Xena, I must seem pretty dull. I don’t even know what a coverage tree is.” Gabs reminds her that they talked before she left—her need to see the world and such. But Lila didn’t realize that Gabby would never write! I mean wtf? It’s time for Gabs to wheel out the reliable line—“Xena’s my friend, yes, but you’re my sister. Nobody could ever replace you.” Aaw.

Bigger problems arise when Meleager yells, they go to his spot and then find him gone! Gabrielle reads the track marks to ascertain that Damon’s men probably dragged him away…in that direction! Gabs goes after him and sends Lila to safeguard the village.

Damon has a proposition for Meleager—apparently he thinks the dude’s killing prowess will ultimately be worth more than 50,000 dinars. Damn. But Meleager is a noble sort of fellow; “remove my chains and you’ll get my answer,” he growls. Damon is in the middle of sending him away when some guards drag none other than Gabrielle into the picture! Yikes! Damon demands to know who she is, which propels one of Gab’s usual methods—a rambling speech about “who are we, anyway?” She gets about half a minute into it before Damon orders her killed. :P Meleager steps in quickly and suggests that some time alone with Gab might be the “incentive” he needs to change his mind about joining Damon. Damon’s game; he’ll even throw in his tent for privacy. Gabs babbles her way into the tent, Meleager makes a macho expression, and then they’re alone.

What is Gab doing here?? Rescuing Meleager, of course! The mighty warrior is unconvinced, but Gabs is more confident now that she’s on the inside. From the outside, the guards in front of the tent are treated to an overwrought performance. “Oh Meleager…hah. Gods preserve me. No wonder they call you the Mighty! Oh, oh, oh!” As Gab undulates to thumping sounds the guards stick their heads in…which are promptly thumped together by Meleager. :P Gab and Meleager make their escape, and set free Damon’s horses to slow him down.

Back at Potadiea, Gabs oversees her townspeople setting traps for the warriors. Meleager basically acts as advisor. Cue inspiring, Rambo-like music! Lila is smiling. That night, Pharis leads his people into another “hip, hip horray!” for Meleager, but he’s looking at Gabrielle. “The town needs a warrior,” Gabs tells him, prodding him forward to accept his praise. “The town has a warrior,” he responds. Aaaw. As Pharis pontificates about how they’ll remember him forever—even though by this time tomorrow, Meleager will take his money and never think about them again—Mr. Mighty looks pensive.

Sunrise cometh! Gabs and Lila are on watch at the wall surrounding the city—well, Gabs is; Lils fell asleep. Gabrielle gently prods her sister awake, and pffts at Lila’s self-criticism. She’s proud of her sister for all the work she accomplished yesterday. She’s come to a nostalgic realization about the caring, young woman she sees before her—“You are—you’ve grown up.” Lila indirectly admits that she liked helping out. “Xena taught you a lot, huh?” Now it’s Gabs turn to look pensive to soft music. “She taught me when to fight, when to talk. She taught me how to know the difference between a friend and an enemy. And she taught me what it means to have a best friend.” So why are you back here? Lila prods. “Because some things can’t be taught,” Gab pulls it all together. Xena may have facilitated a lot, but there’s a natural bond between sisters. They stop things before it gets too “mushy”—though frankly, I still think Gab’s Xena memories came off stronger than the dialogue with Lila. :/ Alas.

Anyway, Damon & co are here! Gabs tells Lila to sound the alarm while she gets Meleager. In town, Gabs looks for their warrior, later joined by Lila and Pharis…but the strong box is empty and he’s nowhere to be found. :-O The backstabbing scoundrel is gone! Well, the gig’s up, and people start packing. Gab implores them not to panic. Meleager may have been important to them (and Gab doesn’t rush to condemn his sudden disappearance, either,) but they can do this themselves. What? Pharis asks incredulously. We’re farmers! “Without a warrior, we’re dead.” “But we have a warrior,” Lila persists. “Gabrielle can lead us.” :-O Even Gab looks a little iffy. :P Who better to lead us, Lila persists. She finally raises her voice over the grumblings of the crowd to make a rallying speech. “I’m no hero, believe me. But the way I see it, we have two choices: We either take a stand and possibly die. Or we surrender and die for sure. It’s time to stop talking and stop fighting!” A la Xena’s advice to Gab, correct? That’s right, Gab concurs. If you want a future, they have to be stopped. Pharis pfts. This is no decision for “an outsider.” Oo, low blow. Lila gets indignant about that—this is Gabs, my sister! And she’ll know more about fighting than you know about anything! (Zing.) Anyway, it’s time to stop arguing—Damon’s men have cleared the woods! Gabrielle quickly takes charge.

Cue a slapstick defense that The Three Stooges should be proud of. :P Some goons enter, then are pelted with food and tripped over a hidden rope. More goons are scoured with burning green goo as they pass under an archway. The cauldrons fall on their heads, and of course they bump into each other. :P More goons are distracted by dancing ladies including Gabs and Lila (so you know how ridiculous it is :P) but then they fall in a mud trap as they approach and are beaten with sticks. A goon goes down the stairs, and then is hit with a sack of flour, Home Alone style. One woman gets chased down an alley, but Gab gets the goon with a frying pan. A rock structure collapses on more goons, who are then kicked by the villagers. And Potadeia is safe! Thank goodness fighting a warrior army is so easy! :P

OK, it’s a little too easy, even for “Xena.” The goons run out and Gabs warns they’ll be back with reinforcements. Pharis immediately turns into the raging cynic—this is hopeless! He’s off to negotiate terms of surrender with Damon. :-O But Damon is already here with his reinforcements! He orders his troops to kill the villagers for what they’ve done. The goons move forward…and then are skewered, kabob-style, by a flying javelin. It’s Meleager, with weapons! Hope is restored! Gabrielle rejoins him as he explains he used his reward money to buy the javelins. Aaaw, what a mensch! “Gabrielle knew you’d be back,” Lila says loyally. That’s why he did come back, he says. But enough time for chatter—he has more goons to skewer! As we focus on their disturbingly humorous deaths (one appears to be castrated, and flips over as he hangs by his genitals on the wall,) Damon has gotten hold of Gabrielle and Lila. Yikes! As Damon taunts Meleager, Gab sees a spiky gardening hoe on the ground. She whines that her foot is asleep, then stamps down on the hoe—up it goes into Damon’s butt! :P She doesn’t need no Meleager the Mighty, nope. :D But now the menfolk are staring each other down…sword fight commenceth! (So strange to see one without Xena involved. :P) Damon ultimately has Meleager down on the ground with a sword over his head…and Meleager looks frozen! A sympathetic situation for Gabrielle! She repeats some advise Xena told her in the teaser—“act, don’t react,”—Melager summersaults backwards, stands, kicks the sword out of Damon’s hand, flips Damon on his back, where he is then skewered by the falling sword. Nice trick, man. As the townspeople cheer for Meleager, he shares a private smile of thanks with Gabrielle. Aaaw.

At a celebration later Pharis is singing a different tune: “There were a few tense moments, but I never had a doubt that we could do it.” :P Lila rolls her eyes as she passes. Then she’s on to Gabrielle, sitting quietly in the corner. Lila guesses why—she wants to rejoin Xena, but doesn’t know how to tell the village. But no, that’s not it—she misses being part of her sister’s life. Aaaw. “Your dreams are elsewhere,” Lila advises. “You are destined for great things.” She won’t accomplish them in a small village when her heart is on the road. “I thought I was the only oracle in the family,” Gabs commends her sister. Lila has realized how much Gabrielle can change people’s lives for the better with Xena—like she did here with her own village. Smart girl. They promise to stay in better contact this time.

More traveling montages! Gabs has lost her pan flute, so she just whistles her tune from before. And guess what—she runs into the same goons by the rock formation! They’re back with a bigger cart—and a large, circular rock as well. They mock her for being alone without “your well-muscled friend.” :P Let’s see how things turn out this time. Will Gabrielle freeze? …looks like she learned her lesson! She fights the goons, and then as the cart-o-logs rolls towards her, she uses her staff to flip over the whole kit and caboodle. Once again, the logs crash harmlessly into the rocks. But the goons stick around to fight this time…only to have their swords skewered! It’s Meleager! :P Of course not—it’s Xena and her chakram, appearing at the top of the rock formation! The goons finally run and Xena flips down to join Gabrielle. Gabs is proud of herself for beating her fear from earlier—looks like she found what she was looking for at home, Xena comments. Yeah…and funny that we should run into each other here, Gabs adds. Xena admits that she was on her way to Potadeia to check up on her friend. Aaaw. I would have loved to see her reaction to Meleager. :P Once again we sidestep mushiness while Gabrielle continues to gloat over her flip—it was all right, Xena contends. :P All right?! Gabs is incredulous. She can teach it to the warrior princess.

The disclaimer this week is Meleager the Mighty, the generally Tipsy and Carousing Warrior-For-Hire, was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. I wish they’d added in an additional jab about his drinking or something. :P

A somewhat silly/somewhat touching Gabrielle-centric episode. Maybe I’ve been a little hard on the Lila dynamic—the dialogue at least brings out a lot of complications—where do peoples’ hearts lie when they leave their families/beloved sisters to pursue their dreams and make new friendships? How do you juggle all of that in Xenaverse Greece? :P But to a certain extent, it’s what real people in the real world deal with as well as we grow and change.

Somewhat disappointed that Gabrielle and Meleager didn’t have a more poignant goodbye scene than a nod of thanks…but then again maybe it would have been over the top. It was obvious that he knew/was impressed by the type of warrior that she was. They didn’t need to shoot the breeze about Xena on top of that—this was an episode about Gabs, and her strength. And given the parameters of the show at this point, they did a pretty good job with that.

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