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scifi_rewatchThis eppy, disregarding the “Hercules” Xena trilogy that spawned the entire “Xena” franchise, is the first of the Herc/Xeen crossovers. I think it had its ups and downs. Was nice to see the foursome—Xena and Gabrielle; Hercules and Iolaus, interacting, especially when three of them have such history between them (and the other is a blabbermouth. :P) The storyline was dramatic, though the righteous ‘tudes of the two leads mixed together could get a little overbearing. And though I do love the four of them as a team, the same can't be said for the lovey-dovey schmaltz in between the two couples. I was happy when Xena and Gabrielle rode off into the sunset to be my girls again. :P And finally, the CGI…though cheesy in parts, I was impressed by some of the most daring scenes to be included in “Xena” so far! And this was the first eppy to include the famous satirical “disclaimer” at the end. :P I’ll be including those now until the end of the series… yay! Check out the bottom of the review for the 411.
Dudes are sneaking in the woods, and they come across the campsite where Xena and Gabrielle lay snoozing. They sneak up and one approaches Xena with sword held high…then there’s a “chop!” and birds flying! Gasp! “I killed Xena, Warrior Princess!” the goon cries out triumphantly. …and then picks up the head, which turns out to be a black wig covering a watermelon. :P Woops.
Enter Xena by jumping down from a tree! As she fights the goons, Gab snores blissfully. :P The big casualty of the day is when one man is downed by another’s knife to the throat when Xena ducks. As the others lie helpless on the ground, Xena is forced to wake a cranky Gabrielle to help her tend to the victim. With his windpipe severed, Xena has to cut a new breathing hole until it heals. As he slowly recuperates Gabrielle calls her friend a good person for saving the life of a man sent to kill her, to which Xena responds with knocking out one of the goons who started to rise. Hee.
An ominous storm wages overhead, and chains magically bind themselves to a large, muscled man. Xena, Gabrielle and the goon are holed up in a tavern with the owner and a sick, coughing kid. Suddenly the goon starts choking, and dies on the spot, despite Xena’s administrations. She’s stunned; said “breathing hole” trick has always worked before. Meanwhile, the kid starts coughing violently as well…then he falls over, dead. :-/ The chained man screams, and our heroes look at each other, frightened. Only Xena has figured it out—Prometheus, the creator of man, has been chained, causing his creations to lose the gifts he gave them—like the ability to heal themselves. Gulp.
Xena leads Gabrielle to an oracle, explaining that “a friend” told her once if Prometheus was ever bound to seek this woman out. Damn, is Xena a repository of important, trivia knowledge. :P They reach the temple and Xena tells Gabs to stay outside with Argo, and to leave if she’s not back by nightfall. Inside, things are a little heated. :P Three women wearing silky rags dance violently to rapid-fire bagpipe music. The middle one jumps down to greet Xena as she walks in the door. The oracle, Io, knows why Xena has come, and asks what she’s willing to sacrifice. “My life, if I have to,” says righteous Xena. Eep. Io, for her part, is slightly skeptical. She gives the warrior princess a special task—off to the side is a large animal skeleton with sharp teeth. Io pries the mouth open with a rope and tells Xena to reach inside to grab a tablet. Then she puts a candle underneath the rope. :-O Yikes!
Needless to say Xena completes this task, though the tablet is smashed to smithereens when the candle burns through the rope and the teeth come chomping down. Io is impressed; “you were willing to lose a hand. Very impressive.” Xena is tired of games. Io plays ball; she tells the warrior princess to go to “Vulcan Mountain” (is that at the foot of “Klingon Lake”? :P) and enter the Cave of Hephaestus, where she will find the only sword that can free Prometheus. Hera’s warriors will try to stop her…aah, now we know who’s behind this! Also, Io has one more secret to tell Xena, but we don’t get to hear it right away! :(
Instead, we join back up with Xena as she joins back up with Gabrielle. Gabby is feeling very optimistic; she said she knew Xena would return. Xena is more distant, and asks what would happen if one day she didn’t. Gabrielle brushes off the possibility, but admits that if she were on her own, she’d want to become a traveling bard. And do you need schooling for that? Xena presses. Yes, Gabrielle says, there is a school for traveling bards in Athens (keep this in mind for future eppys!) But this conversation is depressing so let’s change it, Gab says, not recognizing the foreshadowing. :-/
Later, as they make headway for the mountain, the gals come across a lone merchant’s tent. The thick-accented dude inside wants to sell them miniatures of the mount, which say Mount Olympus on the back, but Xena is just interested in making sure that Gabs stays put. Then she has to grab the merchant in order to stop his sales pitch and give her directions to the Cave of Hephaestus. The merchant maintains that it’s probably safer to just buy some of his trinkets rather than climb into the actual cave.
On top of the mountain, Prometheus is held captive by a pair of big eyes accompanied by the peacock sound. Anyone familiar with “Hercules” knows that this is more or less Hera’s calling card. Prometheus tells her that she’ll never be able to drain mankind’s hope, but Hera is confident in the frailty of humans, plus her own set of supernatural guards that are keeping Prometheus from being rescued. Hey, if I had a pterodactyl at my disposal, I’d be feeling pretty confident, too. :P
Xena rides Argo to the Cave of Hephaestus. She encounters a green warrior thug, but is able to knock him out. ..not so easily accomplished with his gaggle of friends. She runs and springs a trap door, forced to brace herself on a wall as spikes come out of the ground. One green goon gets his knee impaled on one (that is painful!) Xena flips out and across and the chase continues. The next sprung trap is a huge, swinging hammer, which Xena is able to duck…not so much luck for two of the green goons. They’re smashed into the far wall. Xena and the last two fall through a final trap door…but Xeen is able to haul herself out! The warrior princess has strength! From there, Xena exits Indiana Jones world and enters an Arthurian legend…time to pull the sword from the stone! She lifts it into the air as thick, spiritual music plays. And then outside she runs into Hercules. :P And draws her sword! :-O
Xena charges the demigod and a fight ensues. Amidst blows, Hercules tells her he can’t let her do this. “You don’t have a choice,” Xena retorts. Herc throws down the stick he’s been fighting with and says he’s done with the martial display—he dare not hurt her now when scratches can kill. Xena flips onto Argo’s back and tells him to worry about himself while galloping away. Damn, Herc. You’ve been outdid.
Iolaus, trusty sidekick of Hercules, enters the tent where the merchant is still trying to sell his wares to Gabrielle. He asks if anyone there has seen his best friend…happens to be Hercules. :-O Gabby goes into fangirl mode! How long have you known him? “Isn’t it hard to stand around while he’s performing all of these heroic labors?” Iolaus takes offense at that; “I’m right there with him!” Gabrielle thinks that maybe this is a good idea, explaining that she also has a heroic best friend. Who happens to be entering the tent just now! She and Iolaus greet each other awkwardly, sending Gabs into another round of fangirling. :P “Is anyone going to buy anything?” says the forgotten merchant. Xena tells Gab to scoot but not before issuing a threat to Iolaus—“Don’t you take another step.” He and Hercules are unwanted traveling companions. The merchant takes this as an opportunity to try and sell Iolaus a love potion. :P
Later the sidekick meets back up with Hercules on a dirt road. They brush off a worried farmgirl who wants their help with her brother, who is growing gravely ill after cutting himself; “I’m going to do everything I can,” the demigod says while walking away. That’s gotta be a confusing message. :P Iolaus wants to know why Herc and Xeen can’t work together. It’s because Xena knows I’ll never let her break the chains, Hercules explains. Iolaus is flabbergasted; “You’re worried about who takes the credit? If you care about her, let her strike the blow.” Hercules brushes that off; it’s more complicated than that. Hmm.
Gabrielle has turned her grilling to Xena concerning Herc, but Xena doesn’t know how she feels about him And Hercules himself? Xena’s already distracted. ‘You’re not much for girl talk, are you?” Gab comments. Xena brandishes her sword. “Of course, you’re not like most girls!” :P More goons are upon them! Gabrielle practices stabbing with a hoe while Xena fights them off alone. And then…in jump Hercules and Iolaus! Now it’s three on three, but one goon is still able to grab Hephaestus’s sword from Xena’s back sheath. He’s about to strike the killing blow when Herc intersects it with his gauntlet hand…and sparks fly! Literally! When the dust clears, the goon is nothing more than charred ash. The gauntlet was forged by Hepheastus, too, Herc explains. The chains of Prometheus are as well…so that when two of these metals collide, ash ensues. “It’s a suicide mission,” Gabs figures out.
Xena and Hercules both grab for the sword, but Herc gets it. They argue about who should put themselves in danger, but Gab steps in. Maybe they can work together—for now. “We made a pretty good team once,” Hercules offers. Xena agrees that they can make it to Prometheus together, but that once they get there she’s the one who should sacrifice herself. She stalks off, and Gab fangirls Hercules directly, wanting to ask him “questions about his labors,” but the demigod quickly shunts her to Iolaus. :P “He knows all the facts and he loves to hear himself talk.” So basically, he’s the male Gabrielle? ;) For now, Iolaus sends Gabs ahead…then winces and shifts his hand under his vest….it comes back red with blood. :-/ Uh oh.
Hercules walks with Xena and tells her he’s heard that she’s been helping people. “Someone told me that it’s the only reason to be on this earth,” Xena responds. And of course it was Hercules who told her about going to see Io if Prometheus was captured; surprise, surprise. :P They’re both smiling, but Xena tries to grab the sword unsuccessfully. Xena maintains that it should be her to deliver the blow; “People need you more than me.” But Hercules brings it to a new level, claiming with a tremor in his voice that “I can’t let you die. I’d do anything to stop it.” Xena looks perturbed.
The foursome enters the next cave. Hercules says he remembers these caves because he came here once with “his father.” Zeus?! Gabby has someone new to fangirl. :P Hercules blows her off so Gabby turns to Iolaus, claiming she feels more comfortable around him anyway since he’s “normal—I mean that as a compliment,” she quickly adds. Hee. Iolaus says no biggie, then winces. Gabby wants to know if he’s okay and she uncovers his wound. :-O Iolaus tries to brush it off, but Gabs knows it’s serious. We’ve lost the ability to heal ourselves, she points out. She wants to get Hercules and Xena, but Iolaus stops her. They can’t do anything until Prometheus is free anyway, he points out. Take a rest, at least, Gabs wheedles. “I’m not going to take a rest when the whole world’s at stake!” Oh look, another self-righteous one. :P He begs her to keep his secret…yeah, you might be asking the wrong person, Iolaus. :P
A peacock sounds and rocks fall! The foursome runs, and Herc holds a boulder up so everyone can duck in around him. Of course once he drops it, their exit caves in. :P Gabrielle falls on Iolaus, aggravating his wound, and Xena notices. Unable to keep a secret any longer, Gab spills the beans. Aww, at least she cares. Herc calls him “soft of heart and hard of head.” Xena tells him that he can’t travel with them anymore, and when he protests, Gabs offers to stay with him. You know what this means…the heroes and sidekicks are splitting up. Sad music plays as Iolaus hands Herc his bag without saying goodbye , and Xena and Gabrielle hug with a “be careful.” “Don’t strike the blow,” Gabs pleads. “Be brave,” Xena replies. Powerful stuff right there. She also shakes Iolaus’s hand, mending the rift between them from the Xena Trilogy. Aww.
Alone with Hercules, Xena has something more profound to thank him for: “You taught me how to live and I’ll never forget you for that.” That’s right; Hercules is the one who got Xena off her dark path, and directed her towards the light. Hercules responds that she was the first person who made him feel anything since his wife died. …wasn’t she evil most of that time? Guess I should re-watch The Xena Trilogy. :P “Well, I guess we were lucky to have found one another,” Xena replies. It’s all an excuse for some nookie, hee. And a chance for Xena to attempt yet another grab at the sword—nope. ;)
Iolaus, sweaty and hoarse with his head in Gabrielle’s lap, tells her to tell Xena that “there are no hard feelings.” Gabs wonders what Xena is even doing with someone like her when she should be focused on saving lives, but Iolaus protests; “you’re pure of heart.” Ah, innocence. They’re holding hands.
The torches suddenly go out—the power of fire has now left mankind. Hercules finds a wall to scale, and Xena draws her sword. “Gabrielle wants to go to an academy for bards in Athens. Make sure she gets there.” Then bop! She knocks Herc out! She takes Hephaestus’s sword, kisses the unconscious demigod one final time, and starts to climb the wall. At the top she sees a huge Prometheus chained, and between them is a mess of human-sized eggs. :/ Meep. At the bottom, Herc wakes up and starts climbing after Xena.
Gabrielle tells the worsening Iolaus the myth about people with two heads and four limbs being cursed apart by the gods and spending their time on earth looking for their other half. It’s quite obvious who she thinks she’s talking about…girl’s gone totally Florence Henderson. :P But delirious Iolaus falls unconscious in her arms.
Xena edges by the eggs as Prometheus watches her. Suddenly a green hand snaps out of one of them—the green goons are back! They quickly break out of their shells and form an offensive. Hercules makes it to the top as Xena tries to flip her way to Prometheus. Then suddenly, the pterodactyl grabs Xena! Gasp! I am both in awe of and a little un-wowed by the resulting CGI. With the ensuing sky battle, “Xena” officially had to deal with more special effects than ever before…and they by and large looked cool. I just can’t believe in that Flinstones-esque dinosaur, sorry. :P But that hardly matters when Xena flips on its back and kills it. Damn, Xena just outshines everyone. She drops Hephaestus’s sword to Herc, who catches it in a rock, and bungee jumps from the dying creature. Hercules flings the sword from its bonds and it ricochets onto Prometheus’s chains! He’s free, and without anyone having to give up his or her life! This also gives Herc the chance to catch Xena with the appropriately cheesy “nice of you to drop in.” :P
Prometheus frees himself and the torches reignite! Back in the cave, Iolaus slowly wakes as well, for some Gabby hug time. Prometheus extends his huge, muscled arms as spiritual music plays…personally I think it should be workout music, since it’s been a little while since he’s had time to stretch. :P
Gabrielle and Iolaus talk over his healing wound under a tree while Hercules and Xena walk in the distance. An unusually awkward babbling bard asks Herc’s sidekick if he remembers a certain story she told him…he says no. Oh well, says a disappointed Gabrielle. But maybe we shouldn’t believe that, since Iolaus leans over and gives her a sensual, sidekick smooch!
Hercules and Xena acknowledge that saying goodbye is never easy, and yeah, they make a good team. But we all know that’s just not meant to be. “You taught me what to look for in life,” is Xena’s latest thank you to Hercules. They end with a parting smooch.
Later, Hercules and Iolaus watch my ladies leave…Gabrielle looks back briefly. Iolaus confirms that he heard the story by asking Hercules if he believes that people wander the earth looking for their other half. Now it’s time for Xena to look back, and Hercules says “I know it.” We end on passionate music.
…and now, for our first disclaimer! :D Iolaus was harmed during the making of this motion picture. However, the Green Egg Men went on to live prosperous lives. Hee.
The ending was filled with ridiculous schmaltz. When it comes to soulmates, I know who belongs to who, at least for the girls. ♥ That being said, I can understand Xena’s depth of feeling for the man who was instrumental in giving her her life back. On a similar scale, Gabrielle and Iolaus went through a life-threatening ordeal together, which tends to ratchet up emotions. And on a show level, there would be no “Xena” without “Hercules,” so perhaps there’s some metaphorical loving going on as well. :P “Hercules” was an okay show…but it becomes clear rather quickly that it lacks “Xena”’s pizzazz. Hercules and Iolaus remain relatively unchanged throughout their story—they enter as good guys and they exit as good guys. Xena and Gabrielle, on the other hand, have inner trials to face as well as outer ones. They are profoundly changed at the end of six seasons than Hercules and Iolaus could ever hope to be. The producers seized a goldmine with Xena; they knew she could become something very special. Can’t wait to continue chronicling the journey!
___
Dudes are sneaking in the woods, and they come across the campsite where Xena and Gabrielle lay snoozing. They sneak up and one approaches Xena with sword held high…then there’s a “chop!” and birds flying! Gasp! “I killed Xena, Warrior Princess!” the goon cries out triumphantly. …and then picks up the head, which turns out to be a black wig covering a watermelon. :P Woops.
Enter Xena by jumping down from a tree! As she fights the goons, Gab snores blissfully. :P The big casualty of the day is when one man is downed by another’s knife to the throat when Xena ducks. As the others lie helpless on the ground, Xena is forced to wake a cranky Gabrielle to help her tend to the victim. With his windpipe severed, Xena has to cut a new breathing hole until it heals. As he slowly recuperates Gabrielle calls her friend a good person for saving the life of a man sent to kill her, to which Xena responds with knocking out one of the goons who started to rise. Hee.
An ominous storm wages overhead, and chains magically bind themselves to a large, muscled man. Xena, Gabrielle and the goon are holed up in a tavern with the owner and a sick, coughing kid. Suddenly the goon starts choking, and dies on the spot, despite Xena’s administrations. She’s stunned; said “breathing hole” trick has always worked before. Meanwhile, the kid starts coughing violently as well…then he falls over, dead. :-/ The chained man screams, and our heroes look at each other, frightened. Only Xena has figured it out—Prometheus, the creator of man, has been chained, causing his creations to lose the gifts he gave them—like the ability to heal themselves. Gulp.
Xena leads Gabrielle to an oracle, explaining that “a friend” told her once if Prometheus was ever bound to seek this woman out. Damn, is Xena a repository of important, trivia knowledge. :P They reach the temple and Xena tells Gabs to stay outside with Argo, and to leave if she’s not back by nightfall. Inside, things are a little heated. :P Three women wearing silky rags dance violently to rapid-fire bagpipe music. The middle one jumps down to greet Xena as she walks in the door. The oracle, Io, knows why Xena has come, and asks what she’s willing to sacrifice. “My life, if I have to,” says righteous Xena. Eep. Io, for her part, is slightly skeptical. She gives the warrior princess a special task—off to the side is a large animal skeleton with sharp teeth. Io pries the mouth open with a rope and tells Xena to reach inside to grab a tablet. Then she puts a candle underneath the rope. :-O Yikes!
Needless to say Xena completes this task, though the tablet is smashed to smithereens when the candle burns through the rope and the teeth come chomping down. Io is impressed; “you were willing to lose a hand. Very impressive.” Xena is tired of games. Io plays ball; she tells the warrior princess to go to “Vulcan Mountain” (is that at the foot of “Klingon Lake”? :P) and enter the Cave of Hephaestus, where she will find the only sword that can free Prometheus. Hera’s warriors will try to stop her…aah, now we know who’s behind this! Also, Io has one more secret to tell Xena, but we don’t get to hear it right away! :(
Instead, we join back up with Xena as she joins back up with Gabrielle. Gabby is feeling very optimistic; she said she knew Xena would return. Xena is more distant, and asks what would happen if one day she didn’t. Gabrielle brushes off the possibility, but admits that if she were on her own, she’d want to become a traveling bard. And do you need schooling for that? Xena presses. Yes, Gabrielle says, there is a school for traveling bards in Athens (keep this in mind for future eppys!) But this conversation is depressing so let’s change it, Gab says, not recognizing the foreshadowing. :-/
Later, as they make headway for the mountain, the gals come across a lone merchant’s tent. The thick-accented dude inside wants to sell them miniatures of the mount, which say Mount Olympus on the back, but Xena is just interested in making sure that Gabs stays put. Then she has to grab the merchant in order to stop his sales pitch and give her directions to the Cave of Hephaestus. The merchant maintains that it’s probably safer to just buy some of his trinkets rather than climb into the actual cave.
On top of the mountain, Prometheus is held captive by a pair of big eyes accompanied by the peacock sound. Anyone familiar with “Hercules” knows that this is more or less Hera’s calling card. Prometheus tells her that she’ll never be able to drain mankind’s hope, but Hera is confident in the frailty of humans, plus her own set of supernatural guards that are keeping Prometheus from being rescued. Hey, if I had a pterodactyl at my disposal, I’d be feeling pretty confident, too. :P
Xena rides Argo to the Cave of Hephaestus. She encounters a green warrior thug, but is able to knock him out. ..not so easily accomplished with his gaggle of friends. She runs and springs a trap door, forced to brace herself on a wall as spikes come out of the ground. One green goon gets his knee impaled on one (that is painful!) Xena flips out and across and the chase continues. The next sprung trap is a huge, swinging hammer, which Xena is able to duck…not so much luck for two of the green goons. They’re smashed into the far wall. Xena and the last two fall through a final trap door…but Xeen is able to haul herself out! The warrior princess has strength! From there, Xena exits Indiana Jones world and enters an Arthurian legend…time to pull the sword from the stone! She lifts it into the air as thick, spiritual music plays. And then outside she runs into Hercules. :P And draws her sword! :-O
Xena charges the demigod and a fight ensues. Amidst blows, Hercules tells her he can’t let her do this. “You don’t have a choice,” Xena retorts. Herc throws down the stick he’s been fighting with and says he’s done with the martial display—he dare not hurt her now when scratches can kill. Xena flips onto Argo’s back and tells him to worry about himself while galloping away. Damn, Herc. You’ve been outdid.
Iolaus, trusty sidekick of Hercules, enters the tent where the merchant is still trying to sell his wares to Gabrielle. He asks if anyone there has seen his best friend…happens to be Hercules. :-O Gabby goes into fangirl mode! How long have you known him? “Isn’t it hard to stand around while he’s performing all of these heroic labors?” Iolaus takes offense at that; “I’m right there with him!” Gabrielle thinks that maybe this is a good idea, explaining that she also has a heroic best friend. Who happens to be entering the tent just now! She and Iolaus greet each other awkwardly, sending Gabs into another round of fangirling. :P “Is anyone going to buy anything?” says the forgotten merchant. Xena tells Gab to scoot but not before issuing a threat to Iolaus—“Don’t you take another step.” He and Hercules are unwanted traveling companions. The merchant takes this as an opportunity to try and sell Iolaus a love potion. :P
Later the sidekick meets back up with Hercules on a dirt road. They brush off a worried farmgirl who wants their help with her brother, who is growing gravely ill after cutting himself; “I’m going to do everything I can,” the demigod says while walking away. That’s gotta be a confusing message. :P Iolaus wants to know why Herc and Xeen can’t work together. It’s because Xena knows I’ll never let her break the chains, Hercules explains. Iolaus is flabbergasted; “You’re worried about who takes the credit? If you care about her, let her strike the blow.” Hercules brushes that off; it’s more complicated than that. Hmm.
Gabrielle has turned her grilling to Xena concerning Herc, but Xena doesn’t know how she feels about him And Hercules himself? Xena’s already distracted. ‘You’re not much for girl talk, are you?” Gab comments. Xena brandishes her sword. “Of course, you’re not like most girls!” :P More goons are upon them! Gabrielle practices stabbing with a hoe while Xena fights them off alone. And then…in jump Hercules and Iolaus! Now it’s three on three, but one goon is still able to grab Hephaestus’s sword from Xena’s back sheath. He’s about to strike the killing blow when Herc intersects it with his gauntlet hand…and sparks fly! Literally! When the dust clears, the goon is nothing more than charred ash. The gauntlet was forged by Hepheastus, too, Herc explains. The chains of Prometheus are as well…so that when two of these metals collide, ash ensues. “It’s a suicide mission,” Gabs figures out.
Xena and Hercules both grab for the sword, but Herc gets it. They argue about who should put themselves in danger, but Gab steps in. Maybe they can work together—for now. “We made a pretty good team once,” Hercules offers. Xena agrees that they can make it to Prometheus together, but that once they get there she’s the one who should sacrifice herself. She stalks off, and Gab fangirls Hercules directly, wanting to ask him “questions about his labors,” but the demigod quickly shunts her to Iolaus. :P “He knows all the facts and he loves to hear himself talk.” So basically, he’s the male Gabrielle? ;) For now, Iolaus sends Gabs ahead…then winces and shifts his hand under his vest….it comes back red with blood. :-/ Uh oh.
Hercules walks with Xena and tells her he’s heard that she’s been helping people. “Someone told me that it’s the only reason to be on this earth,” Xena responds. And of course it was Hercules who told her about going to see Io if Prometheus was captured; surprise, surprise. :P They’re both smiling, but Xena tries to grab the sword unsuccessfully. Xena maintains that it should be her to deliver the blow; “People need you more than me.” But Hercules brings it to a new level, claiming with a tremor in his voice that “I can’t let you die. I’d do anything to stop it.” Xena looks perturbed.
The foursome enters the next cave. Hercules says he remembers these caves because he came here once with “his father.” Zeus?! Gabby has someone new to fangirl. :P Hercules blows her off so Gabby turns to Iolaus, claiming she feels more comfortable around him anyway since he’s “normal—I mean that as a compliment,” she quickly adds. Hee. Iolaus says no biggie, then winces. Gabby wants to know if he’s okay and she uncovers his wound. :-O Iolaus tries to brush it off, but Gabs knows it’s serious. We’ve lost the ability to heal ourselves, she points out. She wants to get Hercules and Xena, but Iolaus stops her. They can’t do anything until Prometheus is free anyway, he points out. Take a rest, at least, Gabs wheedles. “I’m not going to take a rest when the whole world’s at stake!” Oh look, another self-righteous one. :P He begs her to keep his secret…yeah, you might be asking the wrong person, Iolaus. :P
A peacock sounds and rocks fall! The foursome runs, and Herc holds a boulder up so everyone can duck in around him. Of course once he drops it, their exit caves in. :P Gabrielle falls on Iolaus, aggravating his wound, and Xena notices. Unable to keep a secret any longer, Gab spills the beans. Aww, at least she cares. Herc calls him “soft of heart and hard of head.” Xena tells him that he can’t travel with them anymore, and when he protests, Gabs offers to stay with him. You know what this means…the heroes and sidekicks are splitting up. Sad music plays as Iolaus hands Herc his bag without saying goodbye , and Xena and Gabrielle hug with a “be careful.” “Don’t strike the blow,” Gabs pleads. “Be brave,” Xena replies. Powerful stuff right there. She also shakes Iolaus’s hand, mending the rift between them from the Xena Trilogy. Aww.
Alone with Hercules, Xena has something more profound to thank him for: “You taught me how to live and I’ll never forget you for that.” That’s right; Hercules is the one who got Xena off her dark path, and directed her towards the light. Hercules responds that she was the first person who made him feel anything since his wife died. …wasn’t she evil most of that time? Guess I should re-watch The Xena Trilogy. :P “Well, I guess we were lucky to have found one another,” Xena replies. It’s all an excuse for some nookie, hee. And a chance for Xena to attempt yet another grab at the sword—nope. ;)
Iolaus, sweaty and hoarse with his head in Gabrielle’s lap, tells her to tell Xena that “there are no hard feelings.” Gabs wonders what Xena is even doing with someone like her when she should be focused on saving lives, but Iolaus protests; “you’re pure of heart.” Ah, innocence. They’re holding hands.
The torches suddenly go out—the power of fire has now left mankind. Hercules finds a wall to scale, and Xena draws her sword. “Gabrielle wants to go to an academy for bards in Athens. Make sure she gets there.” Then bop! She knocks Herc out! She takes Hephaestus’s sword, kisses the unconscious demigod one final time, and starts to climb the wall. At the top she sees a huge Prometheus chained, and between them is a mess of human-sized eggs. :/ Meep. At the bottom, Herc wakes up and starts climbing after Xena.
Gabrielle tells the worsening Iolaus the myth about people with two heads and four limbs being cursed apart by the gods and spending their time on earth looking for their other half. It’s quite obvious who she thinks she’s talking about…girl’s gone totally Florence Henderson. :P But delirious Iolaus falls unconscious in her arms.
Xena edges by the eggs as Prometheus watches her. Suddenly a green hand snaps out of one of them—the green goons are back! They quickly break out of their shells and form an offensive. Hercules makes it to the top as Xena tries to flip her way to Prometheus. Then suddenly, the pterodactyl grabs Xena! Gasp! I am both in awe of and a little un-wowed by the resulting CGI. With the ensuing sky battle, “Xena” officially had to deal with more special effects than ever before…and they by and large looked cool. I just can’t believe in that Flinstones-esque dinosaur, sorry. :P But that hardly matters when Xena flips on its back and kills it. Damn, Xena just outshines everyone. She drops Hephaestus’s sword to Herc, who catches it in a rock, and bungee jumps from the dying creature. Hercules flings the sword from its bonds and it ricochets onto Prometheus’s chains! He’s free, and without anyone having to give up his or her life! This also gives Herc the chance to catch Xena with the appropriately cheesy “nice of you to drop in.” :P
Prometheus frees himself and the torches reignite! Back in the cave, Iolaus slowly wakes as well, for some Gabby hug time. Prometheus extends his huge, muscled arms as spiritual music plays…personally I think it should be workout music, since it’s been a little while since he’s had time to stretch. :P
Gabrielle and Iolaus talk over his healing wound under a tree while Hercules and Xena walk in the distance. An unusually awkward babbling bard asks Herc’s sidekick if he remembers a certain story she told him…he says no. Oh well, says a disappointed Gabrielle. But maybe we shouldn’t believe that, since Iolaus leans over and gives her a sensual, sidekick smooch!
Hercules and Xena acknowledge that saying goodbye is never easy, and yeah, they make a good team. But we all know that’s just not meant to be. “You taught me what to look for in life,” is Xena’s latest thank you to Hercules. They end with a parting smooch.
Later, Hercules and Iolaus watch my ladies leave…Gabrielle looks back briefly. Iolaus confirms that he heard the story by asking Hercules if he believes that people wander the earth looking for their other half. Now it’s time for Xena to look back, and Hercules says “I know it.” We end on passionate music.
…and now, for our first disclaimer! :D Iolaus was harmed during the making of this motion picture. However, the Green Egg Men went on to live prosperous lives. Hee.
The ending was filled with ridiculous schmaltz. When it comes to soulmates, I know who belongs to who, at least for the girls. ♥ That being said, I can understand Xena’s depth of feeling for the man who was instrumental in giving her her life back. On a similar scale, Gabrielle and Iolaus went through a life-threatening ordeal together, which tends to ratchet up emotions. And on a show level, there would be no “Xena” without “Hercules,” so perhaps there’s some metaphorical loving going on as well. :P “Hercules” was an okay show…but it becomes clear rather quickly that it lacks “Xena”’s pizzazz. Hercules and Iolaus remain relatively unchanged throughout their story—they enter as good guys and they exit as good guys. Xena and Gabrielle, on the other hand, have inner trials to face as well as outer ones. They are profoundly changed at the end of six seasons than Hercules and Iolaus could ever hope to be. The producers seized a goldmine with Xena; they knew she could become something very special. Can’t wait to continue chronicling the journey!
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